Chapter Text
Oikawa flopped down on his seat in the team bus leaving Tokyo. When he pressed his cheek against the car window and craned his neck a little bit more than was strictly comfortable, he could spot Tobio waiting amidst his teammates, looking as grumpy as ever. And didn’t he have every right to be upset, Oikawa thought with a heavy internal sigh. After all, Oikawa had been avoiding him like the plague for the last two days.
As the bus began to move, he reluctantly turned his head back, intend on getting some well-earned rest, but instead was greeted by Hajime’s irritated eyes. “Care to tell me what this is all about? Did you two make up and you ‘atoned for your shitty behaviour in the last few years’ or what?” he demanded, using air quotes for the last part.
Ah . . . that. Oikawa tensed in his seat, suddenly feeling caught out. He had told Hajime some story about how he wanted to start over with Tobio-chan, since he’d been a shit to him for years. And look, how that had turned out. His gut still churned with embarrassment every time he thought of his special night with Tobio. Truth be told, there hadn’t been much talking at all, and now their relationship was just as fucked-up as ever.
“He didn’t look like he was particularly happy with you, Shittykawa,” Hajime echoed his thoughts, uncannily observant. “You didn’t belittle him again, did you? Or harass him with your jealousy. For god’s sake, he’s on the national team now. You have to let this old grudge go.” He sat back with a furrowed brow, arms crossed in front of his chest.
Oikawa groaned inwardly at the stream of accusations. Little did Hajime know — which was rather good all things considered. Truly, Oikawa felt like he was suffering from the worst hangover ever, and this even though he didn’t drink a single drop. Could you get a hangover just from sex? He had no clue. Just like Tobio, it had been his first time too.
“Shittykawa, I swear, if you’ve done something stupid again, you will make it up to him. Call him. Apologize. Man, I can’t believe it,” Hajime ranted on and on.
“Will do,” Oikawa mumbled gamely. “And why do you think I’ve done anything wrong? Iwa-chan, don’t you trust me?” he whined at the unfairness of it all. “We’ve just reconnected as senpai and kouhai should. There is still so much he can learn from me, and I have to say Tobio-chan cherishes my advice.”
“Shut up and apologize.” Hajime scowled, looking serious this time. “Honestly! I’ve met him yesterday at dinner and he didn’t appear very happy.”
At dinner? Oikawa perked up at the mention of a potential meeting with Tobio, feeling an irrational sting of jealousy. “What do you mean at dinner? Did you talk to him, Iwa-chan?” And why was it stupid Hajime who did all the talking and not he who was much more suitable and better looking. “What did he say? Did he mention me?”
“Something like ‘Ask, Oikawa!’ for instance?” Hajime fixed his gaze on him. After a moment, however, he relented and said, “Na relax, we’ve just been talking about training camp. Nothing personal.”
“Good,” Oikawa closed his eyes, relief trickling in as he sank further into his seat. “It’s nothing. Nothing at all,” he mumbled. “I’ll make it up to him.”
“You’ll better do,” Hajime grunted, thankfully placated for now.
The first thing Oikawa did once they were back in school was to accept the first confession he got. Her name was Hitomi and she looked like she couldn’t believe her luck when he asked her out on a date to a popular café next Saturday. Oikawa regarded her kindly as she stuttered her thanks, noting her beautiful black hair and nice dark eyes.
Though probably not as striking as Tobio’s blue eyes a little voice in his head pointed out. Oikawa swallowed hard, smile freezing in his face. Where did that come from? And since when did he care about Tobio’s eyes?
The thing was, as Oikawa reminded himself firmly, he wasn’t gay. Years of going out with the prettiest girls proved just that. And so he couldn’t really explain to himself what had happened with Tobio a few days ago. It must have been some sort of experimenting, which was a perfectly normal thing for a teenager to do.
“Oikawa-san?” Hitomi looked up at him expectantly.
Oikawa blinked, pulling up the corners of his mouth out of reflex. Hitomi had stopped talking and was shifting from foot to foot, waiting for his answer. That’s right! He needed to set a time for their date. He cleared his throat. “How about we meet at 3 o’clock at the bus stop?”
Hitomi nodded happily, a faint blush grazing her cheeks, no doubt excited to be singled out among his many fans. Not far away the typical flock of girls was forming, giggling and pointing just out of earshot. Dammit, they followed him everywhere. But what about Tobio? Would he blush if he asked him out on a date? Oikawa had to suppress a sudden laugh at the absurd idea. Dumb as Tobio was, he would probably have to look up the meaning of date in a dictionary.
“Bye, Oikawa-san. See you on Saturday.” Oikawa raised a hand to give Hitomi-chan a quick wave as she scurried over to her friends.
While he watched her walk away – shy but cute like all his girlfriends – Oikawa asked himself what was wrong with him. Over time, dating had become so routine that he found it hard to get excited about it. One relationship blurred into the next, never lasting long. Come Saturday he definitely had to notch up his charm.
“Hey, Shittykawa.” A heavy arm landed on his shoulder, looping around his neck, and then Hajime’s grouchy face filled his vision. “Another confession? Seriously again? I thought you were going to take a break from dating and concentrate on your training.” He sounded upset.
“Don’t be stupid Iwa-chan, I can perfectly combine both,” Oikawa laughed airily, though he felt anything but. “You’re just jealous because girls don’t like your ugly face.” Which was, in fact, not exactly true. Hajime was great boyfriend material in his opinion.
“We can’t look all like an ad for hair conditioner,” Hajime retorted unfazed as they began to stroll towards the gym. Afternoon practice started in 15 minutes. “So, how’s Kageyama?” he changed the topic, hitting right into the sore spot.
“What about him?” Oikawa snapped. He flashed a peace sign at some girls just to avoid Hajime’s all too knowing gaze. He had no idea how he did it, striking home every time with the precision of a pro setter. And no, he wouldn’t think about Tobio and his genius setting skills right now.
“Did you make it up to him?” Hajime kept nagging oblivious to Oikawa’s distress. “For whatever you did in training camp? Maybe, if you two just talked and behaved like grown-ups for once.”
“Phew, grown-ups. It’s Tobio-chan we’re talking about. And for your information, I didn’t do anything, that was all him,” Oikawa muttered under his breath, mostly to convince himself. Typical of Kageyama to take all of his suggestions so literally. And to be so stupidly good at it at first try. And now it was on him to show him he had the guts to . . . to swallow a cock or whatever.
“Oi, Shittykawa, your getting all red.” Hajime stopped in his tracks and regarded him with concern. “You sure, you’re alright?”
“Ha ha, never been better, now that I have a date with lovely Hitomi-chan,” Oikawa singsonged. With that he flung the gym door open and plastered a brilliant smile on his face, preparing himself for his big entrance. He had a date with Hitomi and he had Aoba Johsai’s volleyball team. Life was great.
Saturday came and Oikawa carefully choose his outfit, a light grey shirt and his blue coat. He felt like he had to make something up to Hitomi-chan, because he hadn’t been much available the entire week. Practise had consumed most of his spare time, especially since he had added another run to his training regime.
If nothing else, training camp had shown that Tobio was incredibly fit — inside and outside the volleyball court. And Oikawa couldn’t stand behind.
As he buttoned up his shirt, he pondered that he’d never seen Tobio wear anything but training gear or his school uniform. Oikawa’s impeccable fashion sense would be totally wasted on him, which was one more reason he could never date a guy like him. Because he probably couldn’t even tell the colour of Oikawa’s shirt as much attention he was paying to these things.
He picked a tiny piece of lint from his sleeve and shook his head resignedly. On his way out, Oikawa grabbed the latest issue of Monthly Volleyball. He jogged lightly to the bus stop, as usual a little too late.
When he got off the bus, Hitomi was already waiting for him, looking perfectly cute in her summer dress with little red cherries on white ground. Oikawa took a deep breath, put on a smile, and walked up to her to press a soft kiss on her cheek as a welcome. It was nothing like kissing Tobio, but she smelled nice and he held her hand protectively as they crossed the street.
The café he had chosen was popular with couples for a reason. It was the perfect little place, with a display case full of delicious looking cupcakes and a great variety of ice cream. All his girlfriends loved it, and Hitomi was no exception. Once they’d found a table at the front with a great view of the street outside, Oikawa ordered their speciality, a bowl of ice cream for two. Hitomi smiled sweetly as she took the first spoon.
“So, Hitomi-chan, which club are you in?” he asked after a few bites. “Hmm, let me guess first,” he interrupted her when she attempted to speak. “Maybe photography or art?”
“Yes, it’s actually photography,” Hitomi laughed happily, and Oikawa inwardly groaned. Sometimes he thought all of his girlfriends attended the same club. He took another spoon of ice cream, smiling encouragingly as she launched into an animate description of their latest club outing to photograph some waterfalls.
Hitomi had a lovely voice and was easily the prettiest girl in the room, but still Oikawa felt his attention drift. Soon the unbidden image of Tobio and him visiting a waterfall flashed across his mind. Which didn’t make any sense at all because Tobio would never go for it. Which was why he was so stupidly good at volleyball. He was real focused.
“Then we all gathered at the pond. The light was just right,” Hitomi said.
A pond . . . that sparked an idea. He could bring Tobio to a waterfall and throw him into the pond. That would serve him right. Oikawa almost cackled at the mental picture. “Hitomi-chan, I think you know I’m the captain of the men’s volleyball team?” he chimed in.
“Yes, I know. You almost made it to nationals.” Her dark eyes shone with admiration.
“That’s right.” Oikawa smiled right back, though it was a little forced. The memory of the loss to Karasuno still felt a little raw. “So, what about sports photography?” he asked.
Before she could answer, he fetched the issue of Monthly Volleyball out of his bag and spread it out between them, pushing the half-finished bowl of ice cream unceremoniously aside. “Look, they are doing a story about the national youth team.” Ushiwaka was a very prominent figure in the article, but Oikawa’s gaze immediately shifted to Tobio.
Hitomi remained quiet at his outburst, listening politely. He hastily went on, pointing at a small photo in the middle of a row of equally small pictures. “Here, this is Kageyama Tobio, my kouhai from Kitagawa Daiichi. They write his favourite drink is milk, can you believe it? Ha ha, they caught his grumpy look so well. And wait,” he turned the page, “there’s another shot of him in action. The photographer did a great job here.”
“That’s mostly boys in training gear,” Hitomi murmured.
“Well, yes, it’s a sports magazine after all,” Oikawa swallowed. “I mean, I’m an athlete, so it’s only natural. I also watch replays from matches all the time. To study strategy.” And what Kageyama was up to, not that he would ever admit to it. He expectantly looked at his girlfriend. She had to understand.
“Oikawa-san why are you showing me pictures of Kageyama-san?” she said.
Oikawa frowned, at first confused by her silly question, only slowly coming back to reality. Yes, why indeed? Was he going mad? It was Saturday and he was on a date with his girlfriend and all he could do was talk about Tobio. ”He’s my kouhai from my old school,” he repeated lamely, as if this explained it all. And he’s given me the best and only blow job ever, and now I can’t stop thinking about him.
“I guess volleyball is very important to you,” Hitomi said with a small voice. She took his hand, making Oikawa tear himself away from the mesmerising sight of Tobio preparing for one of his wicked serves.
A heavy weight settled in his chest as he looked down on their entwined fingers. Now was probably the time to tell her that she mattered more to him than anything. But for the first time in his life Oikawa couldn’t bring himself to utter those words. She was a nice girl, but frankly he didn’t care for her and it had been grossly unfair of him to date her in the first place.
“I think you’re right. This is not a good time for dating.” He squeezed her hand, hoping she would understand. “I want to play volleyball professionally. There’s a lot on my mind right now.” That was it. He’d said it.
Hitomi’s face fell. Clearly she hadn’t expected that, even though she tried to hide it beyond one of her beautiful smiles. With a sinking heart, Oikawa realised that this was record shitty behaviour, even for him. But in the end he felt nothing but relief when the door bells chimed and Hitomi walked out with a tiny wave goodbye.
Oikawa waved back, slumping into his chair and cradling his forehead in his palms. He sighed deeply. Hajime was going to kill him.
He stayed like that for some time, wallowing in self-pity, until he sat up again and slowly bagged his crumpled issue of Monthly Volleyball. He reached for his phone and scrolled through his contacts, searching for a certain number. He’d got it ages ago, back in Kitagawa Daiichi, but never used it before. Now Oikawa gazed at the screen as if it was either poisonous or held the answers to all the questions of the universe.
The longer he stared and dragged it out the more butterflies seemed to be assembling in his stomach. He had to do something. He’d put it off long enough. At last Oikawa typed.
Yoo-hoo Tobio-chan! Long time no see.