Archive of Our Own

Dave feels a weird and tickling cold around himself. He feels too exposed, his feet practically freezing. Where is his blanket? He tries to turn around and grab after it with half a mind but his hands only press into more, tickling cold and is that grass he smells? A gust of soft but cold wind runs its icy hands over his body and there’s something really uncomfortable pressing against his face, he can’t help but snap his eyes open at that.

He’s full on shivering, feeling cold as shit, his thin black sleeping T-shirt and black boxers doing him no good.

Okay, he knows it’s like 40 degrees outside but he shouldn’t feel this cold in his own house- wait a minute.

His conscious brain cells finally start ringing bells in his head and he shoots up in a sitting position, his glasses, somehow on him, falling back on their place, on top of his nose. His eyes blow wide as he turns his head around in confusion. This is not his house. This is not even San Francisco, what the hell is this? He’s laying down on cold, damp grass in the middle of an unknown landscape, on one side completely surrounded by a dark forest but on the other lay an opening to a few hills that block his further view. There’s also a river nearby, clean looking water slowly flowing down it’s stream.

Clean rivers? In America? Not possible.

Okay, so Dave must be hallucinating or he really has some vivid Dreams. He would consider kidnaping, but kidnaping a sixteen year old boy just to be dropped in the middle of nowhere? It makes no sense.

Another gust of cold wind makes him realise he is damp from morning dew, sitting on the grass. Why the hell does he feel so cold in this dream? Did he really kick the blanket off of himself or something?

He tries pinching himself in an attempt to awaken but it shocks him when he slightly hisses back in pain.

He blinks a few times in utmost and utter confusion, a realisation slowly settling in. 

This really isn't a fucking dream.

No panic. There's nothing to panic about. He can get somewhere, he's sure, he just really has to dry himself off before he freezes to death. 

He picks himself off the ground completely, his whole body shivering. He adjusts his crooked glasses he very much wouldn’t like to be without at the moment, wrapping his hands around himself to preserve at least a little warmth and starts walking through the clearing, heading towards the hills and the river. 

The wind picks up and Dave grits his teeth, trying to prevent their clanking from the cold but it's futile. He hopes he'll find a slipstream near the hills while still being able to expose his body to the sun. It's really all he can do at the moment.

Why the fuck couldn't he sleep in thicker pijamas or something? He wouldn't be so deathly cold now.

A stabbing pain in his foot interrupts his grumpy thoughts. He mutters out a curse and glances at the ground, paying more attention to it. He's lucky he only stepped on a stone and not something real sharp that would mess up his leg or a poisonous bug or god forbid a snake that could kill him for good.

He isn't afraid of death but going out from hypothermia is downright insulting. Technoblade is too grand of a name to go out like that. 

Dave snorts. He has had his YouTube channel for like three years and while he is grateful for all the growth he has received, he still has a long way to go before Technoblade becomes a known name. 

If he'll ever return, that is. 

Okay, no time for stupid thoughts, time for action.

He finally finds a decent place where the warmth of the sun reaches his cheeks and where the claws of the wind can't grab a hold of him. He stands there, still shivering all over, but the cold is much kinder when weak sunbeams dance across his skin and the wind can't reach him.

What now? He has no idea where the hell he is, how he got there and not even what he's supposed to do.

"Who are you?" a deep grunt, not unlike his own, startles him out of his place. He spins around and comes face to face with a- What? 

He steps back from the intimidating glare and just from this… person? A pig's upper part of the skull is mostly covering their face, only their mouth set in a tense line can be seen and are… are those pig ears? With earrings? And pink, braided hair? Is he on a territory of some kind of a cult? This... man, he concludes, has a crown on his head and a red, royal cape gently swaying around him. Dave suddenly feels very uneasy. 

The man growls again and Dave can swear he just saw fangs in his mouth. "Who are you?" he repeats himself, his voice sharper and dangerous. He doesn't have that much height over Dave but the way he holds himself makes him appear like a looming giant, which intimidates the teen but intrigues him all the more for that reason.

At least the man knows how to speak english.

He can't answer even if he wants to. He's frozen in place from sheer surprise and absurdity of the situation. Fear doesn't even have enough place to settle in.

The pink haired man's movements come so swiftly Dave doesn't even register he's on the ground, wet coldness seeping into his clothes again. His brain process only kicks back in again when there's a sudden weight on top of him, pinning him down and a razor sharp diamond blade pressed against his throat, his hands restrained in a firm grip above his head. 

Is that diamond? How rich do you need to be to own a diamond sword?

"Answer me," the man on top of him growls, his aura and posture intimidating. 

The weird yet cool looking maniac is lowly growling. To the teenager he appears like a territorial animal, trying to scare and dominate everyone around him, nothing more. And Dave is stubborn. The man wants him to show fear which means Dave most likely won't get killed. Probably. I mean, if the pink guy wanted him dead, he already had a chance to slit his throat open, Dave didn't even notice the guy until he spoke. It would be pretty foolish to pass that one up.

So, he’ll play along. He doesn’t wanna anger the weird, cult looking man but he isn’t stupid enough to tell the stranger his real name. "I'm Brian," he smoothly lies, his expression indifferent and almost bored. Staring at a skull of what once was a boar, considering the sharp tusks the skull has, is a little unsettling, but hey, beggars can't be choosers.

The pink man full on growls and pushes his face uncomfortably close to Dave’s, so close that the skull of a long dead animal nearly presses against his nose. “That tells me nothing. Speak,” the stranger commands, his voice rough and low and… very familiar. Dave is so sure he has heard this voice before but his brain can’t wreck up a suitable explanation who it belongs to.

Sudden wind picks up around them and Dave can’t help but notice the majestical flow of the pink man’s red cape, how the wind plays with the few loose strands of hair and how king-like this man in front of him looks. No. Perhaps king-like isn’t the best word, god-like.

“What do you w-want me to say?” he asks, internally cursing himself because of the wind which managed to cool his barely warm body down again and caused his teeth to clatter.

The man pays no mind to his lack of proper clothing and his freezing body. “Who sent you?” he growls. “I want names.”

Dave snorts and rolls his eyes. This isn’t some playthrough game where a dude gets airdroped out of nowhere because he was ‘sent’ by someone. “I must’ve been god’s special delivery,” he sassily replies. Probably not the best choice on his side of the bargain, considering he doesn’t have the upper hand here.

But making it appear like he has an upper hand could also save him.

The strange man suddenly lets his wrists go. He also stops pinning him down, standing up, but the sword doesn’t leave Dave’s neck, only the angle changes. Now he has its tip floating barely above his delicate skin. “I’m gonna slit your throat,” the man threatens, but there seems to be a hint of curiosity in him this time around, not as much hostility anymore.

Dave slowly starts retreating his hands, being wary of the man with a sword that could end his life at any given moment. He’s super cold and he’d very much appreciate it if he could hug himself again to preserve at least some warmth. At this rate he’ll really die of hypothermia. He raises an eyebrow at the man. “You could’ve done so when I didn’t even know you were standing behind me.”

“Why did L’manburg send you?”

Dave shots him a quizzical look. “Heh? Who the hell is L’manburg? And can I please stand up? I’m freezing.”

Now the man in front of him lets out a confused noise. “Heh? What do you mean ‘Who the hell is L’manburg’?”

Okay. Firstly, why does this guy speak so much like himself? It’s really, really weird. It’s stuck in Dave’s head but he doesn’t have an opening to bring it up, he kinda needs to save his neck here. “Bruh, I don’t even know how I got here. Am I in Spain? I’m definitely in Spain but the S is silent, jeeze,” he complains and grits his teeth, finally hugging himself again. God, he’s fucking cold.

The man snorts in amusement and Dave can’t help the proud tugging of his lips at making the threatening and strangely familiar stranger smile.

“What is Spain?” he asks, curiosity in his voice, as he removes his diamond blade and stores it away. He offers his hand to Dave and the teenager needs a moment to comprehend he can finally get off of uncomfortable, wet and cold ground again. He reluctantly grabs the strong and warm hand and pulls himself up on his bare feet, immediately wrapping his arms around himself.

The man has pretty sharp and long nails with a golden ring on his middle finger. It looks quite good, if Dave is honest with himself. But like, where the hell is he if this man doesn't know what Spain is? “I’d l-love to tell you but icicles unfortunately can’t talk and I’m about to become one,” he points out.

The man snorts. “Icicles also can’t betray so I’m tempted.”

Dave groans and rolls his eyes. “Bruh, I don’t even know you, how can I betray you?”

Pinkie head scoffs. “Betrayal comes in many forms.”

“So is your cape just a pretty little ornament or is it actually useful because I lack clothes, as you may have noticed and I would like to request something that will prevent me from actually dying of hypothermia,” Dave butts in, redirecting the conversation. He’s happy to sas the man all day long but not when he feels like his limbs are about to fall off.

The man unhappily groans but unclasps his cape, handing it to the teenager, revealing his white button up shirt and black trousers underneath it that still look fancy as fuck. “If you damage it in any way or form, I’ll kill you,” he growls, his voice deathly serious.

“I won’t, god,” Dave trembles, grabbing it and hastily wrapping it around himself, the warmth of the other man radiating from it. His senses get assaulted with a nice foresty smell and he can't help breathing it in. Air in San Francisco is shit, okay?

The man let's out a displeased sound and Dave glances up to his hands reaching for the cape. He eyes the man suspiciously.

"At least put the cape on properly," the man explains and grabs the golden chain, clapping the cape in place before stepping back again.

Dave says nothing but rather gets a better look at the cape now that he has it wrapped around himself. It's a really nice crimson red colour and the white fluff on it, albeit tickling his neck a little, which is slightly annoying, is actually very comforting and soft. The cape is also quite long so it manages to mostly cover him when he presses it around himself.

He sighs in content before he can stop himself. 

Well. That's embarrassing. 

To Dave's luck the man doesn't comment on it. He crosses his arms, which really gives his buff posture justice. The man has some muscles, unlike Dave, who's tall and lanky. "What are you doing all the way out here, half naked?" 

Dave shrugs and answers him honestly. "I have no idea." 

The man scoffs. "I don't believe you."

"Bruh, I literally just woke up here!" Dave points out in offense, annoyance written all over his face. Like he wants to be here in this shitty forest God knows where!

The pink haired stranger says nothing, he just tilts his head like he's studying his prey. It's really unnerving Dave can't see his face, this cool yet intimidating boar skull obstructing his view. It gives the man even more ominous aura. Especially when he slowly uncrosses his arms and his body leans slightly forward, like a predator about to pounce their prey.

"What are you doing?" Dave asks in suspicion. 

He gets no verbal answer. The pink haired man steps closer and grabs him by the cape in a millisecond, pulling him forward so he almost stumbles. There's barely any space between their bodies and Dave is about to push this man away from his personal space, but the stranger grabs the edge of the cape and bares his neck, nearly pressing his face into the crook, as the man… sniffs? Is he getting smelled?

The moment is over as quickly as it happens, the cape tugged back on by the strange man and a distance between them reestablished. 

"You're new," he states, matter of factly.

"What was that?" Dave snaps, furrowing his eyebrows at the man. He grabs the cape with one hand and feels his neck with the other. He can still feel the tingling of hot air on it.

He does not appreciate his personal space being breached.

"Heh. You smelled weird. Like smoke. And I wanted to confirm it. You're new. Dream must've gotten you here. But why are you not at spawn?"

Dave couldn't be more confused even if he tried. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You… really don't know where you are." the pink man states. 

"No!" hasn't he been saying that from the start already? 

"DreamSMP." 

"Great mister helpful, I know so much more," Dave groans and rolls his eyes.

"You've got some balls, dude" the man points out, sounding almost impressed. 

"I am a man," Dave monotonously responds. 

He's pretty sure he sees the guy's lips quirk up for a second. "You don't even know where you are. I could kill you." 

Dave raises an eyebrow. "Yeah, you didn't need to waste like an hour on me."

"Bruh. You know what? You're coming with me," the man declares and points towards the forest on the other side of the clearing. 

No fucking way. This is a how to get himself killed scenario 101. "Hold your horses, I'm not going into a forest! I'm barefoot and- wait." Why are his feet not cold? And wet? 

The man must've noticed his look of confusion directed at his feet because he chuckles. "The cape is enchanted. It steadies your body temperature in winter and summer alike." 

"The cape is enchanted," Dave repeats and sends the most unimpressed look of his life towards the stranger. "This isn't Minecraft, this is real life." 

"Heh? This is Minecraft," the man replies and graciously swings with his hand, a holographic inventory appearing out of thin air.

Dave takes a step back and nearly collapses from surprise.

The pinkie head closes the inventory and full on laughs. "You're from the other world, aren't you? Of course you are! I sensed there's something different in your blood but I didn't think that's why!"

Yeah, so Dave is officially going crazy. "Am I high?"

The man ignores him. "There's a reason why you're here," he seriously says, shifting his weight from one foot to another, his posture thoughtful.

"This all makes no sense whatsoever!" Dave buts in because it totally doesn’t. Is he bananas? Did he get injected with some strange shit?

"But why?" the pink haired man continues to ignore him, talking to himself.

Dave’s out of here. "Okay, you're crazy," he says and is just about ready to leave but before he can even turn around he's harshly grabbed by his shoulder. 

Oh so now he doesn’t get ignored?

"You're coming with me," the man simply states like it’s an everyday conversation and not keeping a stranger against his will.

Dave groans in annoyance. "Give me a good reason why."

The man slightly tilts his head. "I'm not letting you go with my cape. But if you want to die then be my guest,” he shrugs. “Just give me my cape back."

Dave exasperatedly sighs. Yeah, the man is right. He has far better chances at staying alive if he follows him. "Do you, like, have shoes?" he asks, poking his foot forward to show he kinda needs them. 

The man just stares for a moment, unmoving before he sighs and shakes with his head. "You're even worse than Tommy."

Dave raises an eyebrow. "Should I be offended?" 

The man hums and kneels. "Definitely." He starts untying his dark brown shoes and pulling them off his feet.

“Wait- what are you doing?” he asks in disbelief. The man just tilts his head up and Dave assumes he gave him the look , before he returns his attention to his shoes and socks.

“Bruh, you need them more than I do,” he simply replies, making a fast work of it and freeing both of his legs. He hands both to Dave.

You know what? He won’t even question it anymore. He starts pulling on the first sock, the shoe following right afterwards. “Thanks, mister pink hair,” he mumbles as he’s concentrating on tying the shoe and not stepping back on cold and possibly wet grass in socks, though it’s suspiciously dry around him.

“Technoblade,” the man says.

“Tech- what?” Dave’s brain short circuits. He pauses bent down in the middle of dragging the other shoe up his leg and looks at the man completely in shock.

“My name is Technoblade, Brian,” the man repeats himself, crossing his arms in front of him. The name sounds weirdly foreign on his tongue and did his ear twitch? 

If Dave wouldn’t already have been proven this is Minecraft, he’d definitely label the man a stalker and run away. Instead he takes in the man’s features and suddenly everything clicks. The pig ears are very much real, the pink hair in the colour of his Minecraft skin, the crimson red cape and a golden crown with jewels, even the rest of his attire, they are all a part of his Minecraft skin. It’s like you’d take a pigman and turn him human. Almost human, elvish looking pig ears most definitely don’t fit in that perspective.

“You’re me,” he blurts out before he can filter himself.

“Heh?”

Dave isn't sure whether it's smart to tell the man this but he's far more likely to not get gutted if he stays with… himself.

He pulls the other shoe up on his leg and quickly ties the laces before he straightens up, looking at the man. "You," he mutters and licks his lips, "are me. I'm Technoblade."

A pregnant pause follows and Dave isn't sure whether he should just run off or say something to check if the man died on spot, standing up.

"You're me?" he grunts, his tone questioning and doubtful. 

"Well my name is Dave but I also go by Technoblade. And you look like my minecraft skin if it was humanised but the ears weren't properly transformed or something and now you kinda look like an elf-"

"Give me your arm," Technoblade cuts off his rambling and extends his own arm, gently flexing with his fingers.

Dave hesitantly extends it and the man grabs it. "Why?" 

"I want to check whether what you just said is true," Technoblade replies and pulls the wrist in front of his mouth. 

"You're gonna sniff me again?" 

"Not precisely," he replies and lowers his mouth on the soft skin. Before Dave can realize what the man really is doing, there's a sharp sting of pain and a warm, wet tongue pressed on his skin. 

Did he just bite him? 

He immediately tries to yank his arm out of the man's - Technoblade's grip but Techno doesn't let him go, only tightens the hold. "What are you-" he starts to protest and gets a hand pressed against his mouth to silence him as a result.

He's about to bite the man but the pig mask appears right in front of his face in a millisecond which surprises him, causing a slight freeze in his brain, his arm still gripped tightly with no warm mouth pressed against it anymore. 

Dave can see a flick of tongue, licking the sharp teeth that are actually more tusks than fangs, now that he looks at them closer, cleaning the blood of them. "You really are me," the man grunts. "Your blood is the same as mine." 

Dave is liking his stay in this Minecraft less and less. "Heh? You can't just-" 

"I'm the God of blood," Technoblade interrupts him. "Blood is my domain. Now come with me before he finds you and kills you."

"Who-?" 

"We can talk when we're far from this place," he gets cut off again and pulled forward in an attempt to make him follow. 

Dave does not comply. He pulls back and tears his arm out of Technoblade's grasp, narrowing his eyes at the man. "You're not just gonna bite and kidnap me," he hisses. He glances at his wrist to inspect the damage the man has done. It's honestly just a scratch with already drying blood so he's at least grateful he won't get a permanent scar out of it. Probably. 

Technoblade crosses his arms. "I can and I will," he says unimpressed and bored. "Either follow me quickly or I'll manhandle and carry you, your choice."

"I won't just blindly follow you!"

A sly grin forms on Technoblade's face. “Don’t be dramatic. You have your glasses on, I’m pretty sure you can see.”

Dave deadpans. “You’re really gonna sas me now?”

Technoblade cocks his head. “Yes.”

“Okay, bye,” says Dave and is about ready to bolt but the man grabs him by his own cape and yanks him forward, breaching both of their personal spaces again, their chests almost touching.

“Follow me or I swear to god I will disembody you myself,” he dangerously growls, sounding pissed.

Dave glares back. “No,” he replies. If the man actually decides to use force, Dave is toast but it annoys him to no end when people try to force him to do something and they don’t even explain jack shit about it.

Technoblade releases him and steps back. “Okay,” he calmly says, weirdly calm if Dave is to be honest. He doesn’t trust the man and he’s right to do so.

The man’s next movements are yet again so fast Dave can’t possibly believe that’s supposed to be ‘him’ but in like, Minecraft. He pounces on Dave, nearly unbalancing him which would result in both of them landing ungracefully in grass and mud. At least Dave would, he has no doubt the man would keep himself upright. Technoblade must've probably realised he'd dirty his precious cape because he was undoubtedly holding back on that pounce power as he literally manhandles him like he has promised, grabbing both of Dave's arms and forcing them behind his back despite Techno’s own cape being in the way nearly as much as Dave’s protests and futile kicking to get the man off himself.

Technoblade pushes his sharp nails into Dave’s delicate skin on his arms, causing him to hiss in pain. He’s about to side-glare the man and hopefully burn his face off with it when there’s a warm tickling feeling of an exhale on his neck and definitely a chest pressed against his back. "You know,” Technoblade lowly growls in his ear, making Dave shudder from the tickling and discomforting vibrations it causes. “I really like your fearlessness, defiance and banter but I don't like being denied, especially when the one denying me is a brat with no grasp on anything whatsoever."

“And I don’t like being left in the dark,” Dave growls back.

“You’ll shut up and I’ll explain on the way or I will silence you and tell you nothing.”

It’s a compromise he’s willing to make. “Fine,” he says back monotonously, ridding his face of all emotions. He isn’t giving his alter ego the pleasure to rile him up all the time and be aware of it.

Technoblade releases his arms and lets him go. “This way,” he points with his hand and starts fast walking.

Dave just glares at his back and rubs at his aching wrists. There are leftover marks of the man’s nails, his skin reddish and definitely bruised.

He has to give it to the man, he’s pretty damn strong considering he is supposed to be him, skiny, lanky, nerdy Dave.

He heavily sighs in annoyance and hurriedly follows Technoblade into the forest, carefully watching to not lose the sight of him. Their walk is short lived, as the man comes to a halt and Dave nearly walks face first into him. He looks over Technoblade's shoulder to see what's the hold up but a horse head nearly bumps into his face and scares him shitless. He's ashamed to admit he lets out a surprised shriek and steps back on impulse.

Technoblade turns around to look at him, his hands pausing on the ropes he was most likely untying. His shoulders start slightly shaking before a full on laughter unravels itself out of the man's throat. 

Dave directs an unimpressed look at him and the man tries to hold back his giggles, coughing and clearing his throat to cover them up before returning his attention on the ropes tying the horse in place, quickly untying them and pulling the horse in front of the teen. “That’s Carl,” he softly says, running his fingers through the horse's mane.

He has to give it to the man, his horse is very beautiful but also a little intimidating. It’s a big animal that could very well squash you to death if it would decide to do so.

Technoblade turns his head back at him and asks: “Have you ever ridden a horse?”

He decides to be honest. “No.”

The man subtly nods. “Okay. Let's make this quick. Follow my instructions.”

Dave nods.

“I'll hold the reins for you, so don't worry about that," he says and holds up the reins in his left hand to show them. "You'll put your left leg into the stirrup," he points at that thing dangling from the saddle people usually put legs in. "Then grab the saddle with your right hand, right here, by the cantle,” He taps the back of the saddle. "and help yourself with your left hand if you'll need to. Then you pull yourself up and put your right leg over the saddle. I'll help you if needed," Technoblade concludes. "Now look at me mounting and dismounting him." 

Technoblade grabs the rains and Carl's mare with one hand and follows his own steps, mounting the horse with such ease that Dave can’t help but think it couldn't be that hard. The man gently pets the horse down his neck and shoulder, murmuring a quick praise, before he dismouts with as much practiced ease as when he mounted him.

"Okay, you do that now," he instructs, stepping aside and giving Dave space.

Dave nods and steps forward. He makes sure to follow all the instructions he got but when he actually tries to pull himself up on the horse, it’s much harder than he anticipated and he feels like he'll slide down. There's a big firm hand on his ass suddenly, stopping his sliding and pushing him up. He can't help but blush, not expecting the weirdly intimate contact at all.

"Here you go," Technoblade mutters as Dave pulls himself in place on top of the saddle. It feels weird being on top of a big animal that could very well just roll in the mud and crush him.

"Don't be afraid. Animals feel fear," Technoblade points out, taking notice of his anxious expression.

Dave rolls his eyes. Yeah. Brilliant. "That surely reassures me," he sasses the man again. What an advice.

Technoblade puffs out air in half of a snort and clicks with his tongue to mask it. He steps back to the horse, quickly petting his neck again. "Scoot backwards so I can mount him."

Dave scoots backwards and gives the man space. Technoblade maneuvers himself and mounts the horse with ease despite the additional handicap called Dave on top of the horse already. He sits down in front of him and glances back over his shoulder.

"You put your legs in the steers. I don't need them but you will and it'll probably make you feel safer. Just make sure you don't spur Carl so don't you dare dig your heels into his hips." 

Okay, yeah no, Dave does not want to die. "What do you mean you don't need them? This isn't safe!" he complains. It looks cool in movies but riding an actual horse like that? Please no.

"I'm experienced,” Technoblade brushes him off. “Besides, you have my shoes, without them the steers are kinda pointless."

Oh right. Techno is barefoot because of him. He glances down and nearly falls off the horse in shock, barely grabbing the man's shoulders to steady himself. 

"You have hooves?" Dave asks in disbelief, his tone way too excited if he's being honest with himself. He immediately cringes. He isn't one to openly fanboy but... this is without a doubt cool . 

Technoblade stirs the horse into a slow walk. "I'm a pig hybrid. Why do you think I gave you my shoes?" he asks like it’s obvious. Well, for Dave who has been involuntarily yeeted into this situation, it wasn’t obvious, no.

"I just didn't question it anymore," he huffs. He subconsciously flexes his fingers, digging them into the man’s shoulder.

"Don't hold onto my shoulders, you'll fall off,” remarks Technoblade “Hug my waist, it's the safest."

Dave complies, sliding his arms around the man carefully.

“Hold me tightly, Dave,” Technoblade says. It’s the only warning Dave gets before he stirs the animal into a canter. It surprises Dave, the horse bouncing him up unexpectedly so he subconsciously tightens his arms’ hold on Technoblade’s waist while his feet tightly clench around Carl's hips.

"Try rising in rhythm with me, it'll be easier on Carl,” Technoblade loudly commands, making sure the teen behind him can hear him. “Help yourself with the stirrups. We have to ride him only till we get to the water, then you're coming in the boat with me. And don't speak. You can bite your tongue off." 

Dave listens, pressing himself tightly against the man and trying to mimic his movements. It's actually really hard, all the movies he's seen make it seem effortless. Raising and falling in sync with the man feels a little awkward at first with Technoblade’s back to his chest and the fact he keeps rubbing against his boxers because of riding and Dave has to literally will his boner away, but he eventually gets the approximate rhythm.

In his concentration to not get yeeted off the horse like a sack of potatoes he barely realizes when a clearing opens in front of them, ocean and a boat showing itself.

Technoblade slows Carl down, causing Dave to finally let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, sitting down on the horse normally again. They walk on him to the beach for the remaining few feet and stop in front of the boat. Dave wonders if the man will do anything or just sit on top of the horse forever.

Technoblade glances over his shoulder. “You can let go of me now, you know?” he says, his voice teasing and a smirk visible from under his boar mask.

It comes to Dave’s notice he still has a strong grip on the man in front of him and he quickly releases him from his death clutches. “It wasn’t intentional,” he groans.

“I know,” Technoblade replies and swiftly dismounts, gracefully landing on his feet- or hooves.

Dave is left alone on the horse and he really isn’t sure how to get down. He grabs onto the saddle to make sure he won’t just fall off despite the fact Carl is completely still and patiently waiting. He glances at the man. “Help?”

Technoblade is slowly stroking Carl’s neck again, probably to praise him or something, Dave doesn’t know that much about horses. “You’ve seen how I did it?”

“Yeah.”

“Mimic me. Dismounting is easier and I can still help you,” he commands.

Dave recalls how the man got off, swinging his right leg over and sliding down the horse’s back on his stomach, so he repeats this action though far less gracefully and this time without any help. Huh. It is easier to dismount.

He nearly falls when he tries to move away from the horse because his legs are weirdly voobly, but Technoblade swiftly grabs his elbow and steadies him.

“Noob,” teases the man.

"Heh?" gasps Dave in offence and glares at him. Technoblade is technically right but Dave doesn’t like being called a noob, especially when it comes to minecraft - even though this is far from the same as playing single player or on SMP where all he has to do is press keys and move the mouse around.

Technoblade just smirks at him before he starts leading Carl to the boat. “Come. You’ll sit in the back again so that I can row the boat. Carl will swim behind us,” he says over his shoulder, making sure Dave will follow him.

He does follow. He goes to the boat as instructed and carefully sits down on the soft cape fitting of royalty that he has actually grown quite fond of. He snuggles himself in it and catches a distinct smell of baked potatoes emitting from it.

Potatoes. Pig hybrid. Earth is a globe. Water is wet. Oh my god. He actually laughs from his discovery and bows his head to muffle his laughter into the cape.

Technoblade probably directs him a funny look, judging by the fact how quickly he turns his head around, as he pulls his pants higher up and steps into the water to pull the boat deeper. "What's funny?" he asks, genuine curiosity emitting from him.

"Your cape smells like baked potatoes."

The man visibly short-circuits. "Why did you even notice that?" he groans, sounding somewhat embarrassed. Dave notices how the man nervously flexes his fingers and then grabs the boat and forcefully tugs deeper so that it floats on water freely.

"You gave me your cape and I'm supposed to not notice?" asks Dave, raising an eyebrow at the man.

Technoblade tugs on Carl’s rope he has tied onto his reins to make him step in the water and jumps in the boat, rocking it a bit from the force so Dave reflexively clutches the edges to not fall off. "You didn't need to point it out," he grumbles.

"You asked." 

The man ties Carl’s rope around a pole on the edge of the boat probably specifically designed for that. He sighs in resignation and shakes his head. "I guess that one really is on me."

Dave hums in agreement. "Now can you finally explain why I'm here?" 

He sits down, facing Dave and grabbing the boat’s paddles. "To put it shortly, the only reason I can think of why you're here is to get rid of you,” he grunts. “To kill you."

Would Dave be a lesser man he’d panic at the words directed at him. Would he be ‘more’ of a man he’d go and ‘assert dominance’, most likely getting himself killed like it happens so nicely in the movies. But because he is, you know, Dave , he just can’t wrap his head around what would anyone benefit from killing him besides saving oxygen and feeding bacteria. "Me? Why? I'm just some nerd that likes to play Minecraft." 

The man grunts again as the paddles hit the water's surface for the first time and pull them away from the shore, leaving Carl walking in still shallow water behind them. “There are two gods on this server, Dream and I.” He clears his throat. “Dream is the one who made this world and I'm a constant thorn in his foot so he’s trying to get rid of me. If you wouldn’t exist, I wouldn’t exist, so he probably hoped someone would kill you if he wouldn’t get his hands on you first. Maybe I'd kill you myself. And you weren't at spawn, which might be chucked up to the fact you were never supposed to be here in the first place. You entering this world disoriented it,” he goes on, more rambling now than simply explaining and Dave isn’t sure anymore if Technoblade is telling that to him or is just speaking his own thoughts aloud.

The man suddenly lets go of the paddles and snaps his fingers before remembering it is not wise to let go of them when you’re trying to get across the ocean so he’s forced to quickly grab them again. The whole ordeal amuses Dave so he can’t help but snort. He can only imagine the embarrassed and possibly offended look behind that mask as Technoblade scoffs at him.

“It's quite simple, honestly. If you want to live, you’re gonna stay under me. You’ll stay with me regardless of your wish anyway, I’m not gonna die because of you.”

"You're too kind, good sir," Dave sassily replies and rolls his eyes. He isn't too keen on dying, no and if the man is willing to keep him alive at any cost, who is he to complain?

Technoblade scoffs. "You don't even realize how much danger you are in, do you?" A slight breeze ruffles his loose strands of pink hair and Dave can't help but think the man really looks like a God, eternal and untouchable. 

Dave deadpans. "Well, you kinda haven't explained anything to me, now have you?" he asks the man, jabbing his finger forward to point at him. 

Technoblade huffs. "That's because the sooner we are at my base, the better. They are too afraid to come to me and I can erase your tracks. Why do you think we travel through the ocean?" he asks, mildly annoyed. 

Dave throws his hands in the air and almost instantly regrets it as he unbalances himself and barely grabs the boat again to not fall straight into the now quite deep water. "I don't know, Technoblade," he drawls in exasperation. "All I do is go to school and play minecraft this- this is just too bizarre to me," he complains and inwardly cringes at how whiny he sounds. The man doesn't need to know Dave isn't actually all that comfortable and uncaring as he appears to be. 

Technoblade shifts uncomfortably. "I don't know what to tell you. I'm- I'm not good at comforting people," he awkwardly responds. 

Dave sharply inhales and tries to calm himself down. He is a rational person, he can do whatever the fuck this is. "Just be honest. I hate it when people drag me somewhere without explaining why." 

The man is silent for a brief moment, the only sounds coming from paddles meeting the water and Carl's soft occasional neigh, reminding Dave that there's a swimming horse behind him. Technoblade grunts. "We're way too alike." 

Well, yeah. "We are the same person," Dave points out. Aren't they supposed to be alike? 

Technoblade scoffs. "That indicates nothing. I know Dream has been spying on his alter self and they are alike in many aspects but so different at the same time."

"Who even is this Dream guy you keep mentioning?" 

"A God. A tyrant. An egoist. A manipulator," growls Technoblade. It appears like the blood god isn't too fond of Dream. 

Dave's nose scrunches up. So he's the worst kind of a person. "I take it he isn't one for anarchy."

That earns a curious grunt from Technoblade. "He isn't, but you are?"

"Obviously." 

The man curiously tilts his head. A flicker of cold sea water flies directly into Dave's cheek, making him flinch. He is prepared to glare at the man as he's sure that wasn't an accident but his glare involuntary softens when he sees a playful grin playing on Technoblade's lips. "I really like you."

Dave, of course, can't crawl out of his own skin so he can't help but sas the man. “That’s flattering. The only person to like me besides my family, which is already debatable, is my Minecraft skin come to life.”

And because Technoblade really is him, he goes along with it and smugly points out inconsistencies. “I’m not your Minecraft skin come to life. Too human for that.”

Would Dave be more dramatic and immune to cringe, he'd sniff and wipe fake tears off of his face. “You ain’t even a pig, this is just plain sad,” he drawls in exasperation. 

The man shakes his head, denying Dave's words. “I’m not a pig yet . The closer we are to my base, the colder it’ll be and you having my cape means I’ll be warmer at least partly transformed,” he elaborates. 

This is honestly so cool. He can transform at will? From human to a pig and to a pigman? Dave may be a little bit jealous. Of himself . Never thought he’d see the day.

“Don’t you have any spare clothes with you at all?”

Technoblade snorts. “Does it look like I’d need spare clothes?” he scornfully asks like if Dave has just asked the single stupidest question in the universe- which might as well be the case.

Notes taken. “Not really.”

“Hence my point,” the man shrugs and grunts when the now harsher and colder wind pushes against their boat and bodies. Carl, stil swimming behind them like a good horse, appears to loudly neigh in displeasure as well. “I also wasn’t expecting another nuisance on my hands,” he adds. 

Dave points at himself. “I didn’t tell you to take me.”

The man scoffs. “Please, you’d die to wolves, let alone humans. You don’t even know how to ride horses to at least attempt to escape.”

Ouch. Okay, yeah, fair. Will Dave admit to it though? No. "You’re annoying,” he scoffs in displeasure and furrows his eyebrows. 

Technoblade gently tilts his head, his long braid sliding with his movements, a sly smirk stretching itself across his lips. “Looked in the mirror yet?”

Dave's lips involuntarily twitch upwards as he tries to keep a poker face, raising his eyebrows slightly. “You kinda are my mirror.”

The man lowly chuckles at that, his voice flowing like smooth, dark honey, luring a chuckle out of Dave's throat as well. He can't help but label the man in front of him as beautiful. Strong muscles flexing when he keeps paddling them forward, lazy wind playing with the man's loose strands of pink hair, framing whatever little is visible of his face, his warm and relaxed and honest smile playing on his lips, points of his sharp tusks poking out of his mouth, his attire fitting of royalty giving him an otherworldly aura. 

It may be stupid that Dave finds the man sitting in front of him attractive. He hasn't even seen his full face and that's like a horrible level of simpery on his part. Besides, he's basically singing himself praise despite the fact they look nothing alike. 

Technoblade suddenly opens his inventory in front of him and Dave nearly falls off of the boat in surprise. For a moment there he really entirely forgot about the fact that this is, in fact, Minecraft. The man pulls the paddles out of the water and clutches them with one hand while extending another to grab something from the inventory. 

“Here, hold this,” Technoblade says, extending his arm towards him. Dave reluctantly extends his right hand as well and feels the man drop something cold into it. He brings it back in front of his face to inspect the object. 

“Is that… a compass?”

Technoblade nods and hums in agreement. “It directs you to my base and while I do remember the path to it quite well it’s always better to be safe than sorry,” he explains. 

Dave inspects the compass. It's the usual Minecraft compass come to life, the red arrow pointing where North is supposed to be. “How does a compass that’s supposed to point to the north pole direct you to your base?” he asks doubtfully.

“Enchantments.”

Dave snorts. “Should’ve guessed.”

A noticeably stronger and colder wind picks up around them and Carl neighs loudly in displeasure. Dave notices how Technoblade shivers too.

"It's okay, Carl. We're getting there. We'll warm you up in your stables, good? You're a good boy," the man loudly yet gently proclaims, calming down the animal.

"Are we close?" Dave asks, fiddling with the compass.

"Yeah. I'll have to transform," Technoblade says, sounding somewhat strained. "You'll have to take off my mask for me if we don't wanna slow down." He sounds very unhappy about it.

Dave finds the man’s reaction weird. "Is something wrong?" 

The man hesitantly answers. "I don't like people seeing my face."

Dave is taken aback by how insecure the man sounds. Does he have battle scars? Is his face weird? "Come on. It can't be that bad," he tries reassuring the man. Honestly, he isn't too great with people's feelings either. 

Technoblade scornfully snorts. "If people are unable to see behind my mask they can't see what hurts and what doesn't."

So the issue isn’t how he looks. "But I'm you," Dave points out, hoping to reassure the man.

"No, really? I didn’t know,” the man sasses him. “That's why I'm making an exception in the first place."

Dave rolls his eyes. “Yeah yeah, I got the memo.” He carefully rises up, half standing and half crawling, supporting himself by gripping the edges of the boat before unintentionally grabbing Technoblade’s thigh when the boat is rocked to steady himself. He looks down at his hand and it’s awkward placement and is about ready to apologise and remove it but he gets unbalanced again and realizes he kinda needs to keep the hand there.

He feels his face flush as his eyes train on the unmoving mask of the blood god in front of him. “Uhhhh, that…” he awkwardly tries to apologise but doesn’t really know what to even say.

The man lowly growls, his voice filled with annoyance but not danger. “Just take off my mask.”

Dave heavily gulps. This whole situation is awkward, the man still paddling while Dave feels like the earth should open up beneath the sea and drag him down there to never be seen again. He unsurely steps forward between the man’s open legs, extending his right hand and following the strip keeping the mask in place, feeling for the clasp. He unintentionally brushes his hands against the pink hair and realizes it’s surprisingly soft. He gets a strange urge to run his hands through it but he is not going to embarrass himself by following this nonsensical thought.

He finally fumbles his way with the stupid clasp around, unintentionaly squeezing Technoblade’s thighs along the way, pulling the mask off and revealing the rest of the man’s face.

To say he looks breathtaking is an understatement. There are piercing ruby red eyes blinking back at him, framed by long black eyelashes softly fading into pink, pinkish eyebrows raised in question, soft, pale skin stretching across Technoblade’s jaw, his pink lips with two pointy tusks poking out, adding to the aesthetic, lose strands of pink hair now framing his whole face and even his nose is literally perfect.

With the mask Technoblade looks like a god, untouchable, unattainable, eternal, someone that will forever be above you, but without a mask he may look even more so, like a Greek myth come to life, like a being blessed with Aphrodite's beauty, like a true deity, someone you’ll never be able to reach, his face different, inhumanly perfect yet so intriguing.

"You've gotta stop ogling me like that or I swear on my blood you won't see tomorrow without your body painted in my bruises and bite marks," the man lowly growls, his tone hot and definitely filled with sexual tension, snapping Dave out of his admiring session. He looks directly into the man’s ruby eyes and full on blushes, unintentionally squeezing his thigh again. Technoblade has stopped paddling, the water's flow the only thing pulling them forward.

“I- I’m sorry,” Dave awkwardly stutters, pulling back like he just got burned by fire, the mask still in his hands. There’s an uncomfortable tightness in his boxers that he really hopes the man couldn’t notice as he swiftly wraps himself back in the cape completely, falling down on his sitting place and staring at the god wide eyed. His eyes unintentionally flicker over the man's body and stop in mortification on Technoblade's pants where there's a visible bulge.

He made the man hard. 

His mouth falls open in surprise, his brain shutting down completely and rebooting itself. The man lowly growls again, his growl animalistic and barely controlled, forcing Dave’s eyes back up on his fully displayed face. His eyebrows are furrowed in frustration, his pupils dilated in an animalistic need placed inside of the man. “I’m warning you. Stop or I won’t be able to hold back,” he hisses. It seems like Technoblade forcefully tears his gaze away from Dave and starts aggressively paddling again in an attempt to distract himself.

Dave listenes. He doesn’t want to get pounced by his alter self, someone who’s a god, can transform into a pig and is at least thrice as strong as him even if he doesn’t take skills into consideration. He stares at the wooden and slightly wet deck and how their legs are almost touching, with both of them being tall and the boat being fairly small.

He doesn’t know how and what to feel about the man nor himself.

"We're close," Technoblade grunts, changing the awkward conversation. "Keep us in the right direction."

With those words Dave looks back up again. Technoblade looks calmer. The man takes in a deep breath and lets Dave have the visual honor of seeing him transforming into a piglin, his nose and jaw elongating into a snout, his tusks enlarging, fully poking out of his mouth now, his head's structure rearranging itself, his ears also growing to fit his head, his body, arms and legs thickening, getting pinkish fur on them that's supposed to keep the man warm, but the hands don't full on transform, they still stay human hands with sharper nails as a replacement for hooves that would otherwise have to be his hands. The man’s clothes stretch on him almost painfully, what was before loose on his skin is now barely able to fit around his muscular form.

Why is he hot even as an animal?

He freezes at his own thoughts and wants to, like, punch himself. So now he is full on simping for himself. Himself . Even his furry version! It’s just- The man is nothing he has ever seen before and he looks otherworldly, unattainable, untouchable, so beautiful that words can’t even begin to cover it.

In an attempt to finally snap out of it, Dave grabs after the compass laying on the deck of the boat, picking it back up and realising they are too far to the left. "You should go more to the right."

“My right or your right.”

“Uh, my.”

The man listens to him, stirring the boat in the right direction.

A tense silence settles between them, the first tense silence they have had since the man snuck up on him, if Dave thinks about it. It's not comfortable because it leaves Dave with his thoughts loudly jumping around his head, demanding his attention. He brings the mask he’s still somehow clenching in his left hand on his lap and lets it lay there in an attempt at distraction. He glances up at the man who doesn’t seem to be paying any attention to him so Dave takes this opportunity to inspect the whitte boar skull.

The skull isn’t something a person from a city would usually see but there doesn’t seem to be anything special about it. It is intimidating indeed and undoubtedly cool but that’s about it. He absentmindedly starts sliding his fingers over the surface, feeling the smooth bone beneath his fingertips as his mind wanders again.

It wanders on the man and it refuses to let go. It dances around how interesting the man is and how beautiful he is but it forcefully drags itself towards the no no territory. How possessive the man sounded when he implied he will fuck Dave. How possessive he sounded and how it went straight to Dave’s dick.

He doesn’t know if that’s just his touch starvation and teenage hormones and the fact that his only friend in bed has always been his loyal hand because he really holds no other sensible explanation and it’s driving him nuts.

He’s straight. He has never found the idea of sex with guys appealing nor the idea of anyone dominating him - because he’s gonna be honest with himself, the pink haired god screams dominance and Dave kinda likes it. A lot. He likes it a lot actually.

What level of a simp is he if he wants to be fucked by himself? He can't even begin to name how fucked up that is. And desperate… Yeah.

"We're nearly here," Technoblade announces, snapping Dave out of his thoughts. He looks up at the man whose eyes are glued on him. He’s sure that if he was a weaker man he'd let the whimper stuck in his throat out in the open.

Fuck, the man's gaze is so intense .

"Okay," Dave rasps out and clears his throat. God, even his throat isn't cooperating properly with him. 

It's when Technoblade's gaze shifts towards his hands that he realizes he's still clenching the mask and subconsciously stroking it with his fingers. He immediately stops. "I didn't know where to put it," he excuses himself when he meets the man's eyes again. 

He gets a hairy pig eyebrow raised at him. "I didn't say anything."

As a distraction Dave forces himself to let go of the mask, carefully putting it on the deck in between their legs as he grabs the compass instead. He furrows his eyebrows when he sees the arrow leaning to the right. "Techno, we are still too much to the left."

The man lets out a somewhat surprised noise and Dave glances at him. Technoblade is looking right at him, a weird expression settled on his face that Dave can’t possibly label. "What?” he asks.

The man shakes with his head. “Nothing.” He starts sharply turning them to the right before Dave can get another question in and speaks up, redirecting the conversation. “We’re nearly here. It’s behind these snowy hills.”

Dave decides to let the weird staring thingy slide and hums in acknowledgment. All it takes is a few more strong paddles before the boat bumps against the icy surface that looks suspiciously not safe to Dave. It seems like it doesn’t look not safe to Technoblade as the man straight up jumps out of the boat directly on the ice, rocking the wooden craft and startling the teen, causing him to tightly clench the boat’s edges. He’d rather not die of a heart attack from the cold water, thank you very much.

Technoblade kneels down and extends his hand, offering it to the teen. Now Dave wouldn’t usually accept help like that but currently said help is very much appreciated. He grabs Technoblade’s hand, carefully stepping on ice as the man pulls him forward. The hand is hairy and warm and weirdly comfortable and there’s a definitely a surge of disappointment pulsing through his veins when Techno lets go of him.

The man seemingly charm’s his mask out of the thin air and hooks it against his pants that have some kind of a belt on them. He must’ve taken it at some point though Dave literally has no idea when.

Anyways, more important matters at hand. He still can't believe he isn't freezing and he'd much rather go into a warm house or something than rely on a charmed cape that he has to return anyways. “So now we walk? To your base?” he asks.

The man grunts in agreement, the grunt a strange mixture of pig and human noises combined. Dave finds it at least a little intriguing. "It's close but we'll go on Carl cuz it's faster," Technoblade clarifies, bending down to the boat to untie the rope that has been keeping Carl swimming behind them all this time.

Dave kinda forgot about the horse.

As if on cue, the horse gets himself out of the water and loudly neighs, reminding them both of his presence. He starts shaking, trying to get the water off of himself. Dave feels a sudden surge of dread, expecting to get freezing cold water sprayed onto him but there’s… nothing coming off of Carl? He has to do a double take and step closer to the horse to realise that the horse is actually dry. He snaps his head back at Technoblade. "Wait, how is he dry?" he asks in confusion.

The man poorly suppresses a laugh and replies: "Enchantments." 

Dave’s expression of surprise quickly morphs into one of annoyance. "Why do I ask," he exasperates and sighs.

The man has audacity to shrug and smirk at him so Dave sends him an unimpressed look.

Technoblade gets closer to the horse, gently patting his head snout and neck while saying sweet, calming words to him before untying the rope and adjusting the rains, grabbing them in his hand. "Get on Carl," he commands.

Dave complies, doing the exact same thing as he did before, trying to pull himself up, preferably without help this time, but he unsuccessfully struggles again. He expects a hand on his ass again to push him up and not a sudden force more crashing against him than pushing him which makes him extremely unbalanced. He barely catches himself on the saddle, preventing an embarrassing and possibly even deadly fall off of the horse on the other side of him. He takes a moment to straighten himself up in the saddle before he looks at the man in disbelief and realizes he just got… Headbutted? What?

Technoblade must've noticed his weird look, because he furrows his eyebrows in confusion and asks: "What?"

"You just," Dave mumbles and trails off. He stares at the man with wide eyes and gestures with his head against his own ass.

Technoblade’s face morphs from one of confusion to one of mild annoyance and embarrassment. "That was a force of habit," he groans.

Force of habit? Dave clicks with his tongue. "Is your form... messing with your instincts?" he guesses, trying to find a logical answer.

"Something like that," groans the man as he swiftly climbs into the saddle, grabbing the reins properly. “Now hold tight.”

Dave notes a pig tail behind the man's back, which he hasn't noticed before. It's weirdly cute and hilarious at the same time, but he has no time to overthink it as Technoblade holds true to his words and spurs Carl. 

The second time the horse goes into a canter Dave is actually ready with his arms tightly wrapped around the pigman's now much bigger waist. It still throws him into the air like a sack of potatoes but he catches himself really quickly and mimicking the man’s movements comes easier this time around. He’s still surprised by the enchantments the cape has though, as it sways around him from the speed but all he can feel is warm and gentler wind keeping him warm instead of a harsh, cold one like it is supposed to be by the laws of nature.

The ride this time around is even shorter than when they rode through the forest and to the sea. They only evade a couple of smaller snowy hills and there lays an opening with a beautiful stony and wooden building and some kind of a greenhouse filled with flowers beside it. It isn’t anything too grand which is definitely good considering big flashy mansions attract attention and Dave really doesn’t like swarms of people ruining his day but it looks homey and inviting.

They ride directly to the front of the house to what looks like a stable though it’s weirdly opened. Could be enchanted because honestly, what the fuck does the man not have enchanted? Technoblade dismounts Carl and waits for him to do the same so he slides down the saddle like before, this time a bit more gracefully and prepared wobbly legs so the man doesn’t have to catch him again.

When he turns away from the horse he is surprised to see Technoblade in a protective stance and ready to react again if needed be. He doesn’t know if he should feel offended or flattered honestly, that the man is willing to make sure he is alright.

When Technoblade sees that Dave is alright and isn't gonna tumble over he tugs Carl’s reins forward, praising the horse again and leading them in the stables. Dave hesitantly follows behind, unsure what he’s supposed to do. Technoblade directs him a weird glance and says: “Don’t walk behind Carl. Walk with me. He can’t see you which can scare him and he can end up hurting you.”

Because Dave doesn’t know all that much about horses he rather listens to the man who can ride one without the need for stirrups and with additional weight on top. He passes the horse on his left side to stand beside the pink haired God as the man takes care of his horse quickly and swiftly with practiced ease, strapping him off the saddle and reins and giving him food directly from inventory, fresh water already waiting for him.

Dave keeps shifting from one foot to another, waiting for Technoblade to finish up his task and get him in the house. The open stable is weirdly warm and comfortable so he guesses he wasn't wrong about it being enchanted but he'd rather not stand outside half naked under the man's cape for any longer than necessary.

"Come," the man finally grunts, grabbing his wrist and half dragging him forward and up the stairs towards the entrance of the house. Dave follows him quickly even if he isn't given much of a choice.

They reach the doors, Technoblade practically pushing him inside the house, slamming the doors behind them shut. Dave barely catches his step and turns around in surprise and annoyance. He wants to glare at the god and scornfully ask him what was that for, but his words die on his tongue as he sees the man shaking with his pig head like if he’s trying to get rid of an annoying fly. His behaviour is a bit weird and Dave is slightly concerned for him and in all honesty, for himself. 

“Techno?” he hesitantly asks and that must’ve been the final straw for Technoblade. Dave is soon to realize his mistake as the pig eyes snap up, staring directly into his own eyes and forcefully boring into his very soul. His pupils are dilated, this time for real, like one of a feral predator and every ounce of control the man seemed to possess the whole way here thrown just out of the window as he rams himself forward before Dave even has enough time to react, grabbing his wrists and painfuly slamming him against the wall so hard that Dave can’t help the surprised and pained cry tearing out of his throat.

There’s a heavy body pressed against him, aggressive breathing of a pig’s snout right in front of his face, puffing the warm air on his cheeks and the nose and the eyes and the lips and the nape and the ears because it starts moving, pressing gently against his skin and smelling him, leaving his skin in goosebumps as the wet and tickling feeling follows everywhere the piglin presses his snout to.

His breath involuntary hitches. “Techno, what are you-” he sharply tries to ask but gets cut off by his own, more surprised than pained gasp tearing out of his throat as Technoblade’s tusks pierce his skin on the nape of his neck. He’s in a complete state of shock as the blood god latches himself onto his bloodied wound like a vampire, except that he doesn’t sink teeth into it but licks it off with his big, warm, wet tongue as the pig snout doesn’t allow for much else.

It's super surprising to the teen when Technoblade sharply snaps back his head and strongly shakes it again, the grip on his wrists tightening painfully and making him involuntarily hiss. At that the man snaps his eyes back up, staring directly into Dave's own.

The pupils aren't as dilated as before.

"Fuck," curses the blood God. Dave is fairly sure that's the first time he has heard him curse and by God it's hot, his voice raspy and deep, sending Dave's blood South. 

The man sharply inhales again as Dave feels the grip on his wrists loosening. Technoblade pushes himself off of him and starts slipping out of his animalistic form, back to the human like form Dave has seen back on the ravine.

Dave protectively wraps himself into the cape, trying to hide his unwelcomed hard on and trying to process this whole fucked up situation.

An enderman sound effect interrupts his already messy thoughts. He snaps his head to the left and locks gaze with purple eyes. It feels like the mob is staring right through his flesh and bones and straight into his soul, knowing what the fuck is going on in his brain.

Dave doesn't exactly know why but the thought of this mob seeing anything of what just unfolded makes him so hot in the face like nothing has ever managed to.

"That's Edward. He's my roommate," grunts Technoblade, awkwardly supplying to Dave's internal conversation.

There are a lot - and when he says a lot, he means a lot of things Dave has to ask the man about but he pushes them all aside in favor of learning why the fuck has the man bitten him again and just did- whatever the fuck he did. 

It seems like Technoblade gets the memo even before Dave says anything, his glare enough of an indicator to tell the man to speak up. "It's the piglin instincts. They have never acted up so much before," he timidly grunts. 

"What instincts? What in hell were you trying to do?" Dave angrily growls, demanding an answer. He'd cross his arms if he wouldn't catch himself at the last moment, knowing that there's still too much blood south and he only has boxers on. 

Technoblade locks their gazes, his expression unreadable. "Claim what's rightfully mine," he possessively replies. 

Dave halts immediately. "What?" he asks in confusion and annoyance. 

Technoblade groans and makes a step forward, dangerously close to Dave's personal space again. "I never lend my cape to anyone for a reason. It's one of my most precious items. Piglins also don't call each other's real names unless they are mated. And you called me Techno. Now not only my cape but also my smell is on you and that makes my piglin brain go 'he's my mate'. We are also already bound to each other."

Dave blinks in confusion. "What are you on about? Bound?"

Technoblade growls and pins the teen against the wall again, grabbing his arms, forcing them out of their confinement of the cape and pressing their chests together.

Dave panics for a hot second that Techno will notice his not as flaccid as it should be dick, but it seems like the man is too busy with getting his point across. 

"You're mine ," Technobalde breathes out, his voice more possessive than Dave has ever heard anyone ever use, including his little brother when he doesn't want to share his toys. "That's what my instincts are telling me. That's what my soul is telling me. You're mine and you can't deny that." 

Under the piercing ruby red gaze Dave feels exposed and vulnerable, but hell will freeze over before he willingly shows that. "I am no one's, especially not yours ," he hisses, glaring at the man. He doesn't yank his wrists or try fighting back, the man has proven he can step on him any second he wants. 

Technoblade raises an eyebrow. "Really then?" he asks, disregarding Dave's statement. "What happens if I mix our blood then?"

Mix their blood? "Why would you do that?"

"To form a bond. A bond can't be forced upon a soul. If a soul detests the bond with all its will the bond will never be in place. But your soul wants this. You want this." 

Dave might have missed the part where he ever wanted this. "I do not !" he barks back. 

Technoblade doesn't falter. "You are your soul." 

Like that makes any more sense. "You are just- making things up!"

The man lowly growls and a spark of unwelcome fear travels down Dave's spine. Techno lowers his face uncomfortably close to his own, nearly to the point of touching, so he snaps his head away, locking eyes with the enderman again. He realizes that was a very, very bad decision when a forehead is pressed above his ear and a low vibrating voice finds itself in it. "Listen, Dave." 

Dave's blood returns back south immediately.

"Our souls are bound. While unfairly, they are still bound. You are me and I am you. I can't exist without you but you can exist without me," the man brings to the table.

Dave feels uncomfortable and painfully aroused while he definitely shouldn't be, the eyes of an unsuspecting mob making him even more flustered. Then the mouth at his ear is gone and he turns his head back in place, coming face to face, nearly lips to lips with the man.

His breathing involuntarily stills. 

"Let me be your power," Technoblade speaks, his lips nearly brushing against Dave's own. "Let me bind our souls into one. Let me show you what your ultimate potential is." 

In all honesty, Dave can barely process what the man is saying. All his mind can clutch onto is his low voice and his long, pink hair, his beautiful face looking like a fully painted statue of a God, all of this right in front of him. 

Suddenly there's a finger on his fresh wound, lightly pressing on it. "Our blood is the same. Let me conjoin it, mix it. Let me bind myself to you and bind yourself to me," the man hisses out with such urgency that it would make you think that's the most important thing in the world.

And to the blood god it might as well be.

There's suddenly a thigh in between Dave's legs, harshly pressed against his crotch and he can't help the sharp gasp, borderline moan that tears itself out of his throat in pleasurable surprise.

This was no fluke. The man knows he's turning him on. 

Suddenly there are hands on Dave's hips and he has no idea what to do with his weirdly empty arms now. "Let me take your body for your body is mine and I'll let you take mine for my body is yours," Technoblade says, his voice dripping with honey, laced with promises, their lips brushing the whole time.

Then those lips latch onto his in an instant, claiming them completely and pushing Dave's head against the wall with hungry force. Dave can't help the subconscious pull of his hands as he snakes them around the man, pulling him closer.

He lets the blood God do the work since he has never gotten a proper kiss before, Technoblade prying his lips open with his own mouth and forcing a tongue inside, coaxing Dave's own tongue into cooperation. 

Quite frankly Dave doesn't know why it feels as good as it does. He doesn't know why his alter ego kissing him breathless arouses him more than any wet dream he has ever had in his life. 

The man pulls away enough to release Dave's lips, his chest heaving from lack of air while Dave is completely dazed and breathless. "Let me bind you by magic, lend you my power for what is yours is mine and what is mine is yours," Technoblade continues though Dave seriously doubts he has to anymore, right now he'd willingly drop on his knees for the man. "We are one and yet we're not, so let me bind us to each other for all eternity," the blood God growls out the last sentence and latches himself onto Dave's lips again.

Dave's eyes flutter closed from sheer overpowering pleasure, his mouth kept busy by Techno's lips, his mind being taken over by the friction of a leg against his clothed dick. Warm hands on his hips sneak under his shirt, stroking his sides, leaving a feverish trail in their wake.

Another enderman grunt gets to Dave's brain and pulls him out of the hazy feeling, steering hot embarrassment in him, making his face impossibly hot. He forcefully pulls his lips off of Technoblade’s, quickly freeing one of his hands, pulling it in front of him and pushing Techno’s head backwards.

The man grunts in surprise and looks at him weirdly.

“Don’t- Edward,” Dave rasps out and glances at the enderman. His unnatural eyes feel too- real, too human for Dave to be even slightly comfortable with the enderman in the boat staring at him.

“You're embarrassed?” Techno huffs in disbelief and pulls off of Dave, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the wooden ladder. Dave's legs nearly buckle underneath him, the overwhelming kissing session leaving an obvious imprint on him. “Take off your shoes,” Technoblade adds on and points at them. 

“You’re not?” Dave bites back while shakingly grabbing onto the ladder. It is and it should be embarrassing if someone is watching you- uh, kissing. He bends down and unties the laces, kicking the shoes off of his feet. 

“It’s a mob. Not even human,” Technoblade huffs while Dave turns towards the ladder and carefully starts climbing up, his body a little shaky and out of control. The man starts effortlessly climbing after him.

How in the world does Technoblade manage to make everything look so elegant and effortless? 

“For your information, I have never seen a Minecraft mob outside of my computer screen,” Dave hisses and looks down on the man. He carefully crawls onto the solid ground in front of him before standing up and taking in the room. It’s nice and clean looking, an enchantment table, a lot of books and a bed the first things falling into his eye.

His observation of the place is cut short as Technoblade climbs up behind him and spins him around, grabbing his hips and pulling him into another kiss. Dave complies and tries kissing back to the best of his abilities. He knows he is clumsy, his lack of experience clearly showing but the blood God doesn't seem to mind that one bit.

Dave's legs hit the bed frame and suddenly he's pushed onto the white mattress, red cape sprawled beneath him. Techno is on top of him in a second, straddling his hips and locking his head in between his arms. He licks his rosy lips, his tongue flickering over his tusks and Dave can't help but gulp, his eyes involuntarily following the motion. "Have you ever kissed before?" he asks, his voice rough and raspy, a little bit breathless. 

Dave turns his head away. "Not like… that ," he's embarrassed to admit.

“Good,” Techno proudly says and combines their lips again before Dave can ask him what the hell is that supposed to mean. The man moves with hunger, devouring his lips like it's the last thing he'll ever do, coaxing Dave back into the tongue dance before he accidentally pushes Dave's glasses up his head. 

"God, your glasses are annoying," Technoblade growls as he separates their lips. The way the man moves, unforgiving and fast, Dave is sure his glasses won't survive the ordeal but to his surprise Techno gently and carefully grabs them instead and pulls them off. 

"Hey! I need them to see!" he protests, extending his hand after them. He does not want his glasses broken because if he’s stuck in this world he is dead meat without them.

Technoblade avoids his efforts easily and opens up his inventory. "You'll get them back later. They're in the way," he growls out like they have personally offended him and pushes them into the holographic inventory, the glasses disappearing from the physical realm.

It would be an interesting thing to examine if there wouldn't be a hard on in his pants and a blood God on top of him with a boner of his own.

Technoblade reaches for the cape and unclasps it, letting it lay splayed beneath Dave. Then he hastily gets rid of his own shirt, pulling it over his head and throwing it on the floor near the bed. 

Dave can't help but stare. The man's skin is pale and flawless, not a single deformation on it. His stomach is ripped, his muscles obvious without even flexing any of them.

He not only acts like a God and claims to be one, he looks like one, like the prettiest, hottest statue to ever come to life.

"I get you like what you see?" Technoblade smugly asks but it’s really more of a statement than a question. A correct one at that.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Dave snorts in a measly attempt at self defence. 

Technoblade confidently smirks. “I don't. I know I'm hot." He fists a hand into Dave's shirt and lifts himself off of Dave’s lap, kneeling on his knees instead. "Sit up,” he commands.

Dave obeys. He sits up and Techno pulls off his shirt immediately, discarding it just as carelessly as he discarded his own. He pushes him back down on the bed right afterwards. “Hips up,” he commands and grabs the hem of Dave’s boxers.

Dave feels another surge of embarrassment at what is about to happen yet he still hesitantly lifts his hips like Technoblade has commanded.

The blood God tears his boxers off with no hesitation, sliding them off of his legs and throwing them on the floor. Then he attacks his own socks and slides them off of Dave's legs in an instant. Chilly air hits Dave's dick and only now, when he's completely naked, the reality - and absurdity of the situation starts to settle in.

He's about to get fucked by- himself from Minecraft.

"Stop panicking," Techno grunts. He cups Dave's face with one hand and supports his weight on his other arm, leaning on his elbow. He parts Dave's lips with his thumb before diving back in and claiming them again.

Dave snakes his hands around the man instantly, his fingers clutching onto his bare back like his life depends on it. Then there's suddenly a hand touching the tip of his dick and he full on moans in Techno's mouth, buckling his hips upwards.

He flushes red instantly. He was not expecting the touch and his already pleasure ridden brain couldn't silence him on time.

"Don't hold back," Technoblade mumbles against his lips and snakes a hand around the top of Dave's dick, dribbling precum serving him as a lubricant. He teases the teen with his palm and fingers to wreck more sounds out of him and while Dave does manage to silence most of them, he can't silence them all.

He harshly turns his head away to get Techno's lips off of himself. "Stop teasing," he bites out through gritted teeth, trying to hold back his voice.

To his surprise the man listens, pulling up and moving off of Dave, getting off the bed and standing up on the floor right besides him. He is quick to discard his pants and underwear and Dave can't do anything else but lift himself on his elbows and stare. 

Technoblade is… hung , to say the least.

There’s a moment of envy settling into Dave’s brain. His own dick isn’t small, it’s rather average, but his alter ego’s is undoubtedly bigger than his. Then dread replaces envy at the thought that this dick will most likely have to enter him.

“Dave,” the man says so quietly it could pass as a whisper but is effective enough to snap Dave’s attention back on Technoblade’s face. “Relax,” he murmurs and cups Dave’s cheeks, gently tracing a finger against them. His gaze is strangely wild yet comforting and he feels himself relax back onto the bed.

Technoblade crawls back on top of him and immediately grinds down, rubbing their dicks together. Dave gasps at the sudden contact and throws his head back on reflex much to Techno’s amusement.

“Virgins are so sensitive,” he bemusedly comments, flipping his braid to the front and taking it into his hands, untying the ribbon keeping his hair in place. 

Dave doesn’t deny Techno’s statement. “It’s not my fault,” he grumbles and clenches his jaw, suppressing his moans.

Technoblade stills on top of him so Dave’s eyes have an easier time focusing onto the man. He sees him opening up his inventory and pulling out a bottle of weird glowing pinkish liquid.

“What’s that?”

Technoblade opens the cap and swirls the gooey liquid around. “A fire resistance potion,” he replies.

Dave’s brain short circuits. “ Potion? ”

Technoblade directs him a weird glance and gets off of Dave’s legs, grabbing them and pulling them up and apart to give himself space in between them. Dave’s face reddens in embarrassment and he chooses to look away, keeping his legs spread the way Techno originally spreads them. “Don’t worry, it’s not harmful in any way. It’s a good substitute for lube,” Techno murmores and opens the bottle cap.

The man missed his point. “There are potions in Minecraft?”

Technoblade looks at him bewildered. "Obviously." He pours some of this- potion on his palm, rubbing it around his fingers.

There are no potions in Minecraft Dave knows. "Since when?"

The man huffs. "Forever? Is it really important right now? " he growls the last part and leans forward, pushing Dave's legs further apart with his body.

"I guess not," Dave mumbles but it's not like he can help himself and his adhd brain. Then he flinches when sudden lukewarm wetness makes contact with his backside, Techno's finger skimming over his rim and gently prodding at his entrance, not pushing in just yet.

Dave has his eyes closed, be it from fear or from anticipation he can't tell. His muscles are tense, Technoblade's touching of such an intimate place foreign and new.

He can't tell yet if he likes it or hates it.

He feels the man moving his body up higher, the first digit of his finger now slipping in. It's rather uncomfortable for Dave and he can't imagine he's gonna enjoy this.

A flick of a wet tongue on his nipple makes him unintentionally gasp and snap his eyes open, fisting the cape still splayed underneath him. He doesn't even notice Technoblade has slipped his whole finger inside him until the man starts slowly moving it, pumping it in and out.

Both the sensation of a finger pumping in and out of his ass and of a nipple being sucked and toyed with are weird but not unpleasant. Most definitely not unpleasant when Technoblade gently grazes his nipple with his teeth and teases the perky bud with the tip of his tongue.

Dave arches his back from surprise pleasure, his eyes fluttering closed. "Techno-" he unintentionally moans out and rocks his hips down on the finger intruding in him. 

The animalistic growl Techno releases against his nipple spikes up even more pleasure both because of Techno's voice alone and because of the vibrations it causes, making Dave forcefully suppress his moans and grab the cape and the sheets so hard his knuckles turn white.

There's another finger at his entrance and two of them force their way inside, the stretch admittedly painful but Technoblade's next words are more than enough distracting. He releases Dave's nipple out of his mouth, letting the cold air hit it.

Dave misses the sensation immediately.

"Moan my name again," Technoblade growls, his voice rumbly and deep and arousing.

Dave somewhat complies. "T-techno," he breaths out, too embarrassed to willingly moan. He feels the fingers inside of him moving and- and scissoring? They are stretching him apart, their intrusion not unpleasant anymore but just- unusual, weird.

Technoblade lifts himself up and pushes his almost completely unbraided hair backwards before he curls his fingers inside him and presses against his inner walls, hitting his prostate spot on.

Dave lets out a gasp and a moan he hasn't thought he ever had in himself, his voice borderline whorish. He subconsciously rocks his hips, his body Instinctively pressing down on Technoblade's fingers.

Technoblade doesn't stop. He pumps his two fingers in and out of Dave at a merciless speed, sometimes avoiding the prostate, sometimes grazing it and sometimes hitting it dead on, making Dave unable to suppress his loud gasps and moans, Techno's name mixed in the mess of sounds beautifully.

"You think it was easy holding back? I barely kept on my poker face," Technoblade growls but Dave can barely register his words anyways, his mind is dead set on pleasure and on the wish his dick would receive some attention too.

He subconsciously reaches with his hand and grabs his leaking cock, but before he can even manage anything his hand is grabbed and pinned back to the bed. "Hands off," Technoblade commandingly growls and Dave accidentally whines.

Would his brain be in its usual state, he'd be embarrassed and disgusted with himself beyond belief but the man makes sure to not let him think. The pleasure is overwhelming, and Dave is not aware when three fingers slip inside him, they are just suddenly there, rubbing at his inner walls, his right hand still pinned down by Techno's left.

He feels close to cummimg, his hips working on its own and pressing even harder into the man's fingers. "Techno- close-" he moans out, reaching for an orgasm himself. His hands are so tempted to grab his dick and help him jerk off, but the urge to satisfy Technoblade's command is stronger so they stay firmly hooked in Techno's cape, shaking from the tension in his muscles. 

"Cum. On my fingers and my fingers alone," Technoblade growls and even one ups his game, his fingers teasing the swelling bud inside him constantly. 

Dave does cum. Heavily. His body suddenly goes rigid, his back arched, his hips stilled, his body shaky as Technoblade continues to fuck him on his fingers. His dick twitches like crazy and starts leaking more of the milky fluid before the dam finally snaps, cum shooting out and falling right onto his chest and stomach. 

"Congratulations on your first prostate orgasm," the man above him muses, a sense of accomplishment in his voice as he slows down the motion, continuing to milk him dry.

Dave lays there on the bed, all breathless, his dick still twitching and softening, letting out it's last dribbles of semen as he's slowly coming down from his orgasm high.

But Technoblade doesn't pull his fingers out. He continues pressing them against his prostate and the overstimulation overtakes his body, his dick nowhere near ready to cum again. He presses his legs together to deny the access, but the man just straightens his left leg and pushes it against the mattress, leaving the other flailing uselessly. 

Dave releases the cape from his grasp and shakily pulls himself up, grabbing Technoblade's shoulders. "Stop," he hisses and tries to pull away from the fingers.

The man doesn't let him. He pushes Dave back on the bed and pins him down with his weight, grabbing his hands in the process. His fingers do stop moving around inside him, so that's a relief for Dave, but they remain in him in a weird position.

"You're so sensitive," Techno cooes on top of him. "So sensitive just from my fingers." 

Dave is red faced. "I just came !" he protests, squirming underneath the blood God, trying to wreck himself out of his grip. 

The man smirks at him, unbothered by his fruitless attempts at breaking free. "And you'll cum again."

There's a definite promise in his words and Dave stills completely without even realizing it.

Techno lifts himself off of Dave and pulls his fingers out. He lets Dave's legs rest as he pulls out of his inventory the already opened bottle of fire resistance potion and pours more of it on his hands.

Dave raises up on his elbows, just staring at the man in front of him. He sees him apply his substitute for lube to his rock hard dick, stroking a few times to cover it whole in slick.

One glance at his dick and dread of Technoblade’s length is there again. He wouldn’t want a dick his own size in him, much less Technblade’s noticably bigger and thicker one. “It’s really big,” he mumbles, staring at it.

The man tilts his head like he's studying him, his pink hair sliding beautifully down his body along with the motion. "It will fit. Don't worry." he grunts, somehow knowing what's going on in Dave's head.

Dave strongly doubts it. "Will it? I don't -" 

"Relax," Techno cuts him off, his voice rumbly and soothing. He lays a hand on his thigh and Dave flinches under the touch, his body in a weird mixture between a relaxed, post orgasm state and tense, panicked state. Then the man starts rubbing his thigh gently and Dave finds it in himself to listen to Techno, lowering his body back on the bed and forcing his tense fingers to let go of the material beneath him he didn't even know he was holding.

He doesn't see but he can surely hear and even more so feel when the man pleasurably grunts, getting his dick ready to put it in him. The hand on his thigh shifts beneath his knee to push it up and Dave follows the lead, pulling both of his legs to himself.

Techno puts a hand under both of his knees, keeping them in place as Dave feels the press of his dick against his asshole, lightly pushing against his rim. He can feel his muscles slowly give in under the pressure, his once untouched place opening up to welcome a new intruder.

It stings. He knows Techno is careful with him but it still stings. The man isn't small and Dave has to bite his bottom lip harshly to suppress any pained moans or gasps, fisting the cape beneath him like his life depends on it.

He sharply inhales when the man above him experimentally rocks his hips, sliding out and back in for only about an inch at best. Dave feels so, so full, fingers didn't fill him up like that even remotely.

There's suddenly a kiss pressed against his raised, tense legs, Technoblade's lips softly trailing down them, leaving a tingling feeling behind. "Dave," Techno mutters against his skin and Dave can't help his toes curling. "Relax," he gets reminded, both of his legs grabbed, one with a wet from potion hand and the other one with a clean hand. Techno slightly spreads his legs apart, offering them support against his body as he slowly starts pushing in more and Dave realizes that he has only taken about a half of Technoblad's dick in himself.

This time Dave doesn't have the time to suppress an embarrassing high pitched whine as Techno suddenly bottoms out inside of him, his at first slow and careful sliding in growing ever so impatient and needy.

"Would you look at that," Techno coos. Dave pays him no mind, his eyes closed and his breathing ragged, his mind focused on the uncomfortableness of it all.

At least he pays the man no mind until Techno slides his hand over Dave's stomach, lightly pressing down on it so that Dave gasps.

Wait. There's something not right. He snaps his head up and looks at his stomach in horror, a bulge visible. "That's your…" he trails off, his muscles tensing around the man again and unintentional sucking him in. Dave moans in pain, this time openly with no voice suppression.

There are gentle hands caressing his legs as the man slowly pulls halfway out and shallowly thrusts back in.

Dave is grateful for the touch on his legs as it's distracting enough to let him somehow relax and change all the pain to mild discomfort, even that slowly melting away as his body grows used to the intrusion. He doesn't even focus on suppressing his voice anymore, shallow whines and moans wrecked out of his throat with every single motion the man makes.

The man growls above him and Dave's legs suddenly lose their support, falling down on the bed. His hips are grabbed nearly in an instant as the man roughly thrusts into him before Dave manages to get a single sound of protest out of his throat.

His prostate is hit dead on and Dave's pretty sure he has just managed to experience heaven first hand. "Techno-!" he loudly and embarrassingly highly moans, his toes curling, white of pure bliss clouding his vision. His insides are getting breached deeper than they ever were with fingers, Technoblade's dick constantly rubbing against his prostate and sometimes slamming right into it, making Dave positively scream in pleasure. 

Yeah, fingers felt good but dick feels better. 

"You are such a tease," Technoblade grunts, picking up a steady, unforgiving pace that leaves Dave drooling. "Calling my name, stroking my mask like you'd have a body beneath your hands, getting hard on Carl, pressed against me. Don't think I didn't notice."

Dave tries to argue back but a harsh thrust cuts his sentence off. "No- Techno!" he moans and he swears the man somehow fastens his already brutal pace, a possessive animalistic growl leaving his throat, the bed beneath them creaking like crazy. 

"You're so cocky and you dare sass me back," the man growls, sounding somewhat impressed, before he lowers himself, his stomach sliding against Dave’s dick, letting his mouth hover above Dave's ear. "I'll make you come undone beneath me," he whispers while simultaneously hitting Dave's prostate again and it's more than enough to untie the hot knot inside of Dave, his arms grabbing Technoblade's shoulder, digging fingers inside the muscles like his life depends on it, his ass tightly clenching around Technoblade's dick and sucking it in while strings of hot cum sprout out of him, some of it hitting Technoblade's stomach directly. 

His body gets no break. The man doesn't still for a second, he just pulls back up with Dave clenched on him like a koala, pulling them in a sitting position. He lifts Dave's hips and slams them down on himself, breaching even deeper into Dave, fucking him through his orgasm relentlessly, turning burning pleasure into pain of overstimulation. 

"Techno-! Slow down, slow-! Stop-!" Dave helplessly whines, his legs automatically clenching around Technoblade's waist, trying to lock the man in himself and get him to still but Techno doesn't listen. He puts his face in the crook of Dave's neck and growls, bringing Dave back down on his hard dick.

Dave can not stop moaning and whining no matter how hard he tries. He feels too weak to get out of Technoblade's lap and catch a break. There's also a strong mentality inside of his head, a voice that commands him to keep still, to allow Techno to use his body however he pleases, to please the man. And strangely enough he wants to listen. 

He can practically feel the bruises forming, Technoblade's fingers digging into his hips nearly to the point of blood. Dave only realizes why when there's a half transformed pig snout pressed against his neck again, Techno slipping back into his piglin form.

"You're mine ," the man possessively exclaims, biting back into already bitten flesh, drawing blood out of Dave again, momentarily stilling his motions and giving Dave a break. 

Dave doesn't know what exactly Technoblade does but he sure as hell can feel the man do something. There's a hot, suffocating feeling suddenly and his body warms all over, like something inside of him has been changed for forever.

He doesn't get enough time to dwell on it. Technoblade wastes no time, licking the quite deep bite mark clean before he pulls off of it. He forces himself back into his more humane form purely so that he can kiss Dave while he keeps fucking him on his dick, intertwining their tongues so that Dave tastes his own blood on his lips. 

His ass stings from harsh thrusts but the stinging is somehow pleasant. His abused prostate feels like it's pulsing yet with every rub against it it starts to feel better. His spent dick is slowly twitching back to life, rubbing against Techno's stomach from time to time and gaining interest. 

His mind gets clouded by the pleasure and there's room for one coherent thought in his mind only: Techno. He wants the man to ruin him, to fill him with his cum, to breed him even if it's impossible, to mark him and claim him, to fuck him till he falls unconscious.

"Breed me," he unintentionally lets his thoughts slip and the moment he realizes what he's done his face goes stark red. Techno's pupils dilate at his words and it takes only a second for the man to manhandle Dave onto his back before he slams himself into the teen with a merciless speed. 

"Techno-! Fuck- Techno!" Dave practically screams, his body arching in pleasure. He feels weak and shaky and so full with Technoblade's dick, filled with so much pleasure.

"Dave," the man moans out his name, his voice breathless, gruff, possessive and adoring all at once. Alongside with a well aimed trust Dave is cumming for the third time, his body tensing all over again as Techno's own thrusts lose their steadiness and coordination, the man above him grunting and moaning in his own pleasure, his release rapidly approaching.

The pleasure that Dave experiences is so strong he’s positive he blacks out for a second because when he somewhat comes back to his senses, Technoblade has already stopped with his brutal thrusting. Instead Dave’s legs are tightly clenching onto the man as he holds Dave’s hips in place, his dick buried all the way inside. Dave only realizes why when he not only feels but also sees the bulge caused by Techno’s dick expanding.

“Wait, Techno, that’s-” he weakly moans out, his voice hoarse, but he gets cut off by Technoblade’s shallow thrust as he just keeps cumming inside of him.

“You wanted me to breed you and I’m doing just that,” the man growls. He keeps grunting, his dick relentlessly pumping out cum.

Dave flushes. “I- I wasn’t thinking!”

Technoblade smirks at him. “And that’s why you were honest.” He releases Dave’s bruised hips and rubs his hands over Dave’s bulging and somehow still expanding stomach, gently rocking his hips and pushing the cum deeper inside Dave.

Dave whines from the feeling before he slaps a hand over his mouth to stop those embarrassing sounds. “That’s not natural,” he mumbles, eyeing his usually so thin stomach bulging out like if he’d suddenly get fat or like if he’s… like if he’s pregnant.

“Shut up,” growls Technoblade in annoyance before he bends down and shuts Dave up himself with his mouth, pushing his tongue down his throat. It does stop Dave from speaking since his mouth is kinda occupied. He kisses Techno back, moving lips and tongue in sync with the man. It’s distracting enough to tear his mind from the bulge and how full he feels until Techno himself breaks the kiss and pulls back up. He fixes his hair to the side and god does he look beautiful like this.

Technoblade licks his lips. “God you’re delicious to devour,” he lowly murmurs, his hands sneaking back onto Dave’s stomach and gliding across his stretched skin.

Dave feels so fucking full. Impossibly full. The man still hasn’t pulled his dick out of him but he has at least stopped pumping his abnormal amount of cum into him. He raises himself on his elbows to look at his bulging stomach, dread creeping up his spine. “That’s really not natural,” he blurts out, worry dripping from his voice.

Technoblade raises an eyebrow at him and scornfully snorts. “You obviously don’t know a lot about pigs, do you?” he asks. 

Dave blinks at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Technoblade looks down at Dave's stomach so Dave follows his gaze. The man caresses it before he smirks and murmurs: “There’s about a whole pint of cum in you.”

“A whole- what ?” Dave splutters. Now he's no master of biology but no one can cum a whole pint at once . 

Techno tilts his head. “You know, a pint-”

“I know what’s a pint just- that much ?” Dave cuts him of, exasperated and in disbelief. 

Technoblade visibly perks up. “I’m a piglin. A pig hybrid. Pigs are mammals that have the most semen in a single ejaculation so it makes sense piglins inhabited this characteristic too. It’s good for breeding purposes,” he rants, pouring more information than needed on Dave.

Look, the blood good seems to be just as big of a nerd as Dave himself is but Dave isn’t in the mood for sex ed on pig's. Dave sighs and lets himself fall back on the bed. “I wasn’t asking for a whole fucking trivia while your dick is in me,” he deadpans.

The man clears his throat and lightly flushes, averting his gaze. “Force of habit.”

Okay, that’s cute. Dave nearly smiles and forgets his environment but he feels Techno’s hand squeeze his stomach and his attention is pulled towards it again. "That's still too much!" 

Techno looks back at him with raised eyebrows. A coy grin slowly tugs on his face and Dave narrows his eyes at the man. "Is that a challenge? You can take 4 pints of cum without any problem, this is not too much."

Dave’s jaw quite literally drops. "4 pints-! Why do you know that?"

The man actually has the audacity to full on smirk before he shifts, bending forward, his hair engulfing Dave’s head before Technoblade fixes it to the side and Dave hears and feels a low murmur right beside his ear: "You think I haven't fucked the brains of virgins out before? I'm not even halfway done with you yet."

“Wait- wait what?”

The man gently bites his earlobe. “I'm going to breed you until you’re full of my cum and unable to even respond to me, Dave,” he breaths out and oh no, here we go again, Dave's dick twitches in interest. 

Dave flushes so hard. He puts his arms in between himself and Techno to push him off, but he is neither putting in force to push Techno away nor is he even capable of doing so. “You already came! And I came three times!” he protests. 

“And I’ll cum five more if needed until you’re a mess beneath my hands,” Techno growls against his ear and Dave fucking whimpers.

He swears the man's breath hitches, his fingers digging into Dave's skin. "That's more than a human can possibly take!" 

"I'm not human," Techno lowly murmurs as he starts pressing kisses alongside Dave's jaw, sliding from his ear towards his chin. 

"But I am! You're gonna break me!" Dave protests, digging his fingers into Techno's bare shoulders to make him understand. 

The man raises his head enough to have his lips nearly brushing against Dave's. He licks his teeth, tongue gracefully gliding over them, Dave's eyes involuntarily following the motion, his breath stilling. A lazy but hot smirk plasters itself over the god's face, his warm breath tickling Dave's skin as he murmurs: "That's my goal."

It would be a lie if Dave would say his entire body didn't fucking react to his words because the man definitely felt him clench around him, his body wanting, needing Technoblade's words to become the truth, to be fucked stupid and bred. And oh God, is the man hard again?

"You are such a tease," Techno growls before he attacks his mouth, forcing Dave's lips open in a millisecond. Dave doesn't have the time to dwell on it as the man rocks his hips into him, the feeling of cum moving around inside him with his motion feeling foreign and weird, but the thought of being full of this man's cum is quick to convert that weird into hot as Dave moans into the God's mouth.

Technoblade pulls off and straightens himself. He pulls his dick out of Dave and rolls him over off of the cape and on his stomach in a near instant before he dives right back in, the cum nearly having no time to slip out of him and dribble down his thigh.

Techno slams directly against his prostate and Dave cries out, tears spilling out of his eyes from sheer force of pleasure, his body already exhausted by more than just the unusual amount of exercise he had to go through to get to Technoblade's base. He feels worn out but the immense pleasure keeps his body rigid, rocking on its own alongside with Technoblade's movements, seeking ever so present pleasure on pure instinct.

His brain has turned to complete mush. He can barely think about anything. He's literally drooling into the man's cape that somehow finds itself rolled into a ball like a pillow beneath his head, his hands fisting it as the grip on his hips tightens and his lower body is suddenly yanked up, his knees forced to support his weight.

"Stay put," the man on top of him lowly moans, his grip on Dave’s hips bruisingly before he harshly slams himself back in, reaching deeper than before, making Dave gasp and moan.

His whole body is shaking as he’s getting pounded into, his knees barely supporting that little weight they have to. He’s openly crying into the cape, everything being just- just too much for him. He absentmindedly feels an arm circle his waist but his senses snap to full attention only when a hand is suddenly grabbing his dick and stroking it in the brutal rhythm of thrusts the god has already set up.

Dave’s body spasms. He arches his back in overwhelming double sided pleasure, his peak feeling near once again. And he’s right to feel so as it takes only a couple of fast paced strokes and he’s coming undone beneath Techno like the man has promised he will. His muscles clench, his body shaking from the strain as the man keeps fucking into him and stroaking his dick, milking the already more watery and see through cum out of Dave.

And then Dave just loses all strength and collapses on the bed, his overused muscles giving in, his knees sliding against the mattress as the only thing still keeping his hips in the air is a strong muscular hand of a god wrapped around his waist.

"S-stop, stop- I can't-!" he weakly protests, reaching back with his hand and grabbing Techno's, harshly squeezing it to just- give him a rest. He feels so sensitive again but Techno doesn't let up even for a second and all Dave can really do is weakly squirm and cry, trying to get away from the pain of overstimulation.

"You definitely can and you will," the man grunts back. He grabs Dave's shoulder and yanks him up on his knees, curling his hands around the teen as Dave is yet again forced to support his weight on his shaky legs, the man resuming his thrusting and biting his skin again.

“Techno-!” Dave moans, openly, loudly, a moan that would put hentai actors to shame, spilling out of his throat, something he hasn’t thought he has inside him.

His moan is a mistake. If he thought Techno was brutal before, now he realises with approaching horror that the man has been holding back on him for the whole time.

The realisation hits him precisely when he feels the body structure around him changing, shifting, the dick inside of his ass somehow reaching deeper than it has before, the grip on his body tightening, the hands around him gaining the fur, when Techno who has barely been louder than a grunt or a low moan the whole time straight up roars. It is then that Technoblade lets go of all of his humanity and let's the beast inside him embrace him because Dave can now see he has been fucked somewhat with care before but now? Now he's fucked purely on instinct, a cumdump for the man, good only for breeding if he could actually get pregnant.

He gets practically slammed back down in the mattress the moment the man retracts his teeth from his neck. He’s held up by his hips because his legs cannot support his weight anymore at all and the man fucks into him at a rabid pace only an animal fallen to it’s instincts could muster, someone uncaring for the other’s well being, the only thought clouding their mind being chasing their release and knocking the ‘female’ up with their offspring.

And he’s succeeding. Dave can barely feel like anything is real anymore, he is oversensitive and his thoughts are molded together into a big ball of incomprehensive thoughts riddled with the overpowering sensation.

While Technoblade appeared very composed even in sex now he’s definitely not. He constantly lets out his piglin sounds, growling and grunting like a beast and a pig, quite literally mounting Techno and locking him in his hold as the man roars on top of him and stills, the cum starting to spill out of him.

Dave just helplessly moans and whines and cries under the man, his stomach expanding again. He thought he was going to explode with Techno’s one dose of an enormous amount of cum but now he’s just being filled even more and for some reason he loves the feeling. He loves how it’s Techno’s cum inside of him and no one else's, how he landed in his brute alternate self’s hands and no one else's.

He wants to be bred and marked and engulfed in the man’s arms, surrounded by his smell and body.

He’s pushed out of his thoughts when Technoblade jerks his hips, still hitting Dave’s prostate and wrecking yet another broken sound out of Dave’s hoarse throat.

Dave thought he’ll get a break while the man is cumming.

He was so wrong. He underestimated the instincts of the man and beastly needs because Techno keeps fucking into him through his own long as shit orgasm, the cum slowly dribbling down Dave’s thigh when it manages to escape from time to time with the sharp, jerky and uncoordinated thrusts. His dick is forced to twitch back to life but Dave is sure he doesn’t have anything left in him to give.

And he’s right. The man hits his prostate just right, like hitting a nail on the head and Dave sees white. He lets out a broken high pitched wail, his body overcome with pleasure, rigid and tense, his muscles spasming as he feels like he has experienced the strongest orgasm yet. He feels practically nothing drop out of his dick, his whole body too spent to even react properly anymore.

Another slam against his prostate sends him plummeting directly into the darkness, his body and mind just too weak to hold up anymore. He just cuts off. There are moments in between when he thinks he regains his consciousness but he’s still being mercilessly pounded into and he slips back into the darkness fast.

He comes back to being gently held, his back pressed against warm skin, the marks and wounds on his neck being licked over by a wet tongue like if a dog would be cleaning his wounds. A hand is gently sliding over his bloated stomach, caressing it and he realizes the man has been murmuring into his shoulder blades all along.

“You’re beautiful,” Dave’s brain registers and he blushes. Technoblade moves his lips lower. “You’re mine. Mine, " the man growls against his back possessively, squeezing Dave, especially his stomach and Dave moans from the pressure. "So full of me, taking me so well," the man murmurs and shifts, getting a whimper out of him. It's only now that he realizes he still has the man's dick inside of him, plugging him up. "Dave. My Dave.”

Dave seriously wants to respond to the man but his throat is dry and sore and scratchy and he feels exhausted. He doesn't even have enough energy to speak. Techno's warm embrace and gentle words are practically luring him to sleep, to catch a break. He feels safe and warm and loved. 

His eyes just slip closed, sitting on the blood god's lap with his dick inside, his head resting back on Techno's shoulder. He feels a hand gently combing through his hair, scratching at his scalp as he nuzzles into the man, his breathing calming down, sleep overtaking his exhausted mind and body.

***

Dave groans, his arms numb and his ass sore. His body aches all over, the uncomfortable sleeping position he left himself in getting to him. Again.

When will he fucking stop falling asleep behind his computer?

He carefully lifts his head off of his arms and shivers, wrapping himself in the comfortable blanket making sure his naked body doesn’t just freeze. He comes to slowly, tilting his head back and blearly opening his eyes, the world blurry and stupidly bright.

Great, he even forgot to pull the curtains over the windows to block out the light that his mom pulled apart again because he apparently looks like too much of a vampire and needs more sun even though he still has to go to school every day and gets more than enough sun on the way, if you ask him.

He reaches with his hand to the desk, feeling around for his glasses. He’s so tired he can barely keep his eyes open and his annoying prescription is of no help, making the world appear not even in goddamn 144p.

His hand finally hits the familiar shape of glasses and he grabs after them, shakily putting them onto his head. His arms are stupidly sore for some reason and it just adds to his sleep deprived annoyance but at least he gets his vision back, his familiar nothing out of ordinary room clearing with the magic of glasses.

He sighs in annoyance at his still running laptop, scoffing and pushing himself out of the chair, only to yelp in surprise and fall right back in, the sensation of unbearable pain shooting through his body like an arrow.

He looks down at himself, the crimson red blanket- wait, blanket? Red blanket? Dave blinks down in confusion. He doesn’t have one? He slowly unwraps himself out of it and when he sees the soft white fur and the familiar smell he has been enveloped in registers in his brain, his memories sorted as a dream slam into him at full force.

And if the crimson red royal cape isn’t enough of an indicator then the marks and bruises are more than just telling, littering literally all over his body, from his legs to his whole torso and onto his arms.

He just stares at his naked body frozen, his tired brain knitting the thoughts together in a somewhat coherent memory. He opens his mouth to… he doesn't know what, he just groans in annoyance and slumps back into his chair, wincing at the stupid movement.

"Bruuuuh," he drawls, rubbing his temple, trying to make sense of the whole situation. 

Yes, he somehow ended up in the Minecraft world and lost his virginity to himself, we won't talk about that part and now he's somehow back at home feeling absolutely destroyed. 

Also, his clothes are missing.

Wait. His clothes are missing . Dave shoots straight up and quickly realizes why this was a bad idea. He curses under his breath, pulling himself forward to his desk. 

If he managed to get back home with the man's cape that does not belong here with him and if his own clothes managed to stay behind, wouldn't that mean he could go back there in theory? Alternate universes are not exactly supposed to cross like that or something.

He excitedly grabs after a paper and a pen to brainstorm but freezes when he sees a familiar looking bottle with a red liquid in it and a piece of paper attached to it laid down beside his laptop. He looks at it in surprise before he carefully grabs the bottle and unties the piece of parchment, unfolding it in front of him to read it. 

‘Dave.’ the letter starts off. Dave gently swipes his finger over his name, the handwriting messy yet still somehow fancy, somewhat reminding him of his own handwriting.

He reads forward. ‘The bottle attached is a healing potion. I don't know enough about your world to tell you if it'll work or not but it's worth a try. Drink it if you want to be capable of standing at all in the next week to follow. I could've healed you myself but I'm pretty sure you'd write off our encounter as a dream. I also suggest you clean yourself properly, my cum is still in you,’ is what the man says. Dave blushes at the last sentence in embarrassment and glances down at himself, his stomach that he remembers being unnaturally full now back to normal, but he does still feel somewhat… weird and maybe wet down there.

‘Regarding my cape. If you lose it or damage it I'll skin you alive the next time I manage to establish contact between our worlds. That's a promise.’ Dave rolls his eyes at the man’s possessiveness of his cape. ‘It's charmed with protection spells and has my scent all over it so if spells happen to not work my scent will at least ward off almost anyone with ill intentions towards you. Keep it close to you.’

Dave blinks in surprise at that. The action is almost sweet would he not know it’s for keeping the blood god alive.

‘Regarding Dream. Leave him to me. There's nothing you can currently do and you know practically nothing about the god.’

‘That being said, don't you dare tell anyone about what happened. Not only will you be labeled as crazy but if wrong people hear the story you can get killed. There is more than just a universe where Minecraft is real, the world is endless and people are foul.’ Dave scoffs. Does Techno really think he’s enough of an idiot to start waltzing around saying Minecraft is fucking real? Like he isn’t already a loser.

‘Be careful. Don't try to contact me, I'll contact you soon. Take care of yourself and don't miss me too much, yeah? If you get unexplainable urges and feelings they are most likely due to our soul bond so just envelop yourself in my scent and you'll be good for the time being. I will explain more about our bond to you when we meet again.’

‘Let me be your Achilles, Patroclus.’

‘Technoblade’

It takes Dave a few moments to fully absorb the content of Technoblade's letter, especially the last part of it, wrecking his brain for an answer to decipher what he has just read.

He blushes when he realizes not only the caring behind this letter as a whole but the weight the last sentence carries. It's so sweet and poetic and just- fitting of the god. To use Greek mythology on him and to use this myth specifically?

Let’s just say Dave feels really warm. He folds the parchment carefully and puts it back on his desk to store it away later before carefully taking the potion into his hands. He opens it with a little difficulty, carefully examining its content, a sickly sweet melon-like smell hitting his nose. He pulls a face at it but the potion honestly looks pretty normal so fuck it, if he survived this whole Minecraft experience and got sent back home then killing him now would be stupid.

He downs the potion in one go. It tastes like watermelon and powder, good but thick, making him thirsty. He can immediately feel the ache in his bones dissipate, the marks on his body molding into smooth, unmarked skin in mere seconds, even his bone deep exhaustion dissipating with it. It makes him feel refreshed like he hasn’t been in months.

He tries standing up again and this time it’s with no problem, no pain awaiting him when he finally stretches and hears the satisfying pop of his bones.

He feels relaxed. Good. Satisfied.

He sighs and takes the bottle in his hands, a few drops of liquid holding to its walls. If he'd actually have the skill and patience he'd study the potion's ingredients. Instead he makes sure to seal the bottle and drag out a box from the top of his closet with a few of his valued items he doesn't want anyone to find and look through, throw away or destroy. He carefully places the bottle inside, something to remind him later on that he is not in fact crazy and made up the whole situation.

He’s about to put the box back on the closet when he remembers he should probably store the parchment away as well and an idea hits him. He quickly walks back to his desk, pulling open a drawer to tug out an unused paper and grabs after a pen on his desk, throwing himself back on his chair.

He bites the tip of his pen, thinking what to write before he puts his pen to the paper and just lets it flow.

‘Technoblade.’

‘I feel stupid for writing this because I honestly don't think you'll ever see it anyways,’ he starts off, already regreting his decision.

‘But,’ he continues. There’s no harm in writing a letter to himself. With that he decides to fuck all and be honest with himself.

‘You are my first in many ways. First proper kiss, first sex partner, first alternate self I ever met and honestly I hope the last one as well. You are the first person I felt a connection to almost instantly.’

‘You say it's because we are the same person, because our souls were already bound even before you mixed our blood and sealed the deal for good.’

Dave smiles to himself, biting his bottom lip. ‘I say it's simply because we understand each other.‘

‘Do you believe in fate? I don't. But you're a god, right? You surely know more on that subject, was it fate that we met? Was fate manipulated into us meeting? Or do you not believe in fate either?’ he rambles on and catches himself. He’s getting a bit off track.

‘I don't know where I'm going, I just want you to know that I'm glad you're my first. So now I'm your problem. But I'm not just Patroclus to your Achilles, his fate is not mine to take. You'll make sure of this, won't you?’ he asks. He doesn’t expect the answer but he somehow feels his own words are true anyways.

‘I hope you didn't just scam me so do contact me soon or whatever.‘

‘Dave.’

He drops the pen, letting it roll over the desk, picking up the piece of paper to read over it again. It’s good enough since it’s not like anyone besides himself will ever get to see it, so he folds it and carefully puts it in the box alongside Techno's message then closes the box and puts it back on the top of the closet.

If the god manages to establish contact again there’s a whole lot of questions Dave wants answered, but right now it’s the time to take a hot, relaxing shower before his siblings barge into his room and see him naked in a cool as fuck royal cape.

God knows he’s in need of one.