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Harsh pants and the sound of locking lips echo in the empty bathroom. Akali’s hands grip onto Ahri’s waist, fingers curling into the fabric of her mini-skirt. She presses Ahri into the porcelain of the sink, drawing a small gasp from the school’s popular girl. Akali trails down to litter kisses on the column of her neck.
“W-wait! Don’t leave a mark.” Ahri pants, a little sluggish from the fuzzy feeling in her head.
Akali makes a noise of disappointment but relents. The fact that they’re a couple isn’t exactly something everyone knows about. Which leaves her with mixed feelings.
Akali takes a half-step back and watches Ahri begin to fix her disheveled hair and rumpled clothes. There’s no fixing those swollen lips though, which makes Akali smirk gleefully.
“You should go first. We can’t let anyone see us together.” Ahri says as she checks herself in the mirror.
“...right.” The smile on Akali’s face falls. She shuffles her feet and tucks her hands in her pockets. “You still coming over to my place tonight?”
“Of course, babe!” Ahri gives her a charming smile and a quick peck, before wiping any residual lipstick off. Wouldn’t want anyone catching on.
Akali hums as she watches Ahri push past the door, leaving just her in the bathroom. She stares at herself in the mirror and sighs. Ahri makes her feel alive and thrumming with energy… but then she drains her just as quickly whenever they have to hide their relationship.
It’s been going on for a while and Akali just can’t understand why Ahri won’t make them public.
She looks up at her reflection and frowns. “Does she even want to be with me?” Her voice is small, tiny as it fades into the silence.
With a huff, Akali turns to leave the bathroom as well. She has to get to class. But the thought lingers in her mind, putting her in a sulky mood.
//
“Uh-oh. What’s got you so down, Kali?” Kai’Sa pokes at Akali’s cheek, catching the tail end of the frown on her face.
Akali huffs and bats Kai’Sa’s finger away. She sits up in her seat at the lunch table. The cafeteria is rowdy as usual. But something in particular has all of the skater’s attention.
Kai’Sa follows Akali’s gaze and a frown settles on the jock’s face when she realizes exactly what has her bro in such a mood. “Oh, it’s Ahri…the usual then.”
Akali grunts. Ahri is sitting over there with the popular clique. A random dude is flirting with her and Ahri isn’t even doing anything. In fact, she’s entertaining the guy and flirting back.
Akali grits her teeth and averts her eyes. Granted, she knows Ahri wouldn’t stoop that low and cheat on her—but she doesn’t have to flirt with some dude in front of her fucking salad!
She pushes her plate of salad away, her appetite spoiled by the sight of her girlfriend’s actions.
“I don’t get why you torture yourself like this.” Kai’Sa’s brows furrowed. She’s in on the secret but that doesn’t mean that she likes the fact that they’re in a hidden relationship.
Kai’Sa’s seen the lows Akali’s been through with keeping this secret—nights filled with tear-stained pillows and long venting rants that bleed into the early mornings—and she doesn’t know how much more she can take on behalf of her best friend. There’s only so much sad Akali she can handle.
The click-clack of approaching footsteps catch their attention. Evelynn sinks into the seat next to Kai’Sa, pressing a kiss onto her cheek in greeting. “Hi there, baby.”
Evelynn—a popular upperclassman, also Ahri’s best friend. She’s got lines of admirers around the block but she’ll never pay any mind to them as long as she’s got Kai’Sa by her side.
“Hey, babe!” Kai’Sa’s face lights up at the sight of her girlfriend. She leans in and goes for a proper kiss, leaving Evelynn giggling in her seat.
“What’s wrong with Akali?” Evelynn leans into Kai’Sa’s side and steals a fry from the jock’s plate.
“The usual.” Kai’Sa says. Eve looks over her girlfriend’s shoulder and hums, “Uh-oh.”
Akali makes the mistake of looking over at Ahri again and nearly busts a vein. The dude is even closer than before and all Ahri’s doing is just smiling at him. Is this a joke to her? Is playing with her feelings a joke to her?
The school bell rings, indicating that lunch is over. Thank fuck. Saved by the fucking bell. Akali’s never gotten up faster.
Kai’Sa and Evelynn watch as Akali all but bolts out of the cafeteria. The jock sighs, “I’m starting to get tired of seeing Akali like this. Why doesn’t she do something. Better yet—why doesn’t Ahri do something?”
Evelynn cards a hand through Kai’Sa’s black hair, smoothing out the furrow in her brows. Her and Ahri go way back—like spending time together in diapers way back—but this… this is something shitty she can’t excuse. “Ahri’s got her own insecurities, believe it or not. But you’re right, she can’t keep treating Akali like her dirty little secret.”
“One way or another, this will end really well or really badly.” Kai’Sa gnaws on her bottom lip. God, she hopes it’ll end well. Akali deserves better.
//
Akali finds herself blowing off steam at the skate park after school. Kai’Sa is chilling over by the edge of the skate pool, watching Akali do tricks and spins as easy as breathing.
The adrenaline from skating helps her take the edge off, but there’s still a pulse of anger lingering underneath her skin.
Akali flops onto the ground next to Kai’Sa, her skateboard flung a few inches from her side. She stares up at the melting orange and yellows of the afternoon sky. The anger melts away but it bleeds into melancholy.
“Wanna talk or do you just wanna hang out?” Kai’Sa asks from her side.
Akali sighs and silence lapses for a moment. And then it’s like the floodgates are slammed open cause Akali is gesturing wildly with her hands as her mouth runs like a motor.
“I just—I mean, like, how am I suppose to deal with this, Bokkie?!” An angry—no, frustrated huff unfurls from the skater.
“It’s like I’m fucking invisible or something in front of her! If we’re not in an empty room or not at school, it’s like I don’t even exist!”
Kai’Sa looks around and is glad the skate park is empty. She expected a rant but she didn’t expect the f-bomb so soon.
Akali continues, “I might as well not exist—with the way she was flirting with that dude at lunch! Like, right in front of my face! She knew what she was doing.”
Akali balls her fists and presses them against her eyes. She’s huffing angrily and there’s a slight burning in the back of her eyes. She doesn’t want to cry over Ahri—again.
The breeze whistles by, ruffling her hair and clothes. Akali feels the Kai’Sa press a hand on her knee. She sniffles and curls into Kai’Sa’s side.
“Bokkie… I’m tired…” Her words are muffled into Kai’Sa’s side.
“I know, Kali.” Kai’Sa pats her gently. “You’re going to have to do something. Sneaking around everyone’s back, not interacting or acknowledging you in public—It’s not a healthy relationship. It doesn’t look like a relationship either.”
Akali makes a sad, distressed noise. “...but I love her.”
Kai’Sa feels her heartstrings being tugged at her best friend’s admission. “I know, Kali. I know.”
The sky melds into a blue and purple as the sun finally goes down. Akali and Kai’Sa stay there for a little while longer, just watching the stars peek out from their hiding spots.
//
After parting with Kai’Sa, Akali rides her skateboard home. Her house isn’t too far from the skate park. She turns the corner and is surprised to see a familiar figure waiting by her front porch. She comes to a grinding stop a few feet away, picks her board up and walks the rest of the way.
“Hey.” Akali calls out.
“Hey!” Ahri perks up as she approaches.
Akali opens the door and leads them inside. Ahri follows behind her as they head up to Akali’s room.
“Haven’t seen you since earlier.” Ahri smiles at her. Earlier meaning their make out session in the empty bathroom.
‘And whose fault is that.’ Akali sets her skateboard down and shakes away the negative thought. She sits on her bed, arms bracing as she slightly leans back. “Oh, you know—I was busy. And then I went to the skate park with Bokkie.”
Ahri sees Akali’s lap as free real estate and straddles her legs, thighs bracketing the skater’s hips. She throws her arms around Akali’s neck and leans in.
Akali’s eyes flutter shut as soft lips press against hers. She sighs into the kiss, hands rising to hold Ahri’s waist. Her heart beats fast and loud as Ahri winds a hand into her hair before pulling her deeper into the kiss. It’s so easy to get lost in Ahri.
Later, when Ahri is wrapped around her sound asleep, Akali stares up at the ceiling of her room in contemplation.
The day’s event washes over her and she’s just… tired. Tired of feeling hidden, of feeling sad and jealous over Ahri’s actions—or lack of.
Ahri curls a little more into her side and Akali feels an aching warmth blossom in her chest. She stares down at her girlfriend, her eyes tracing down the slope of her nose to her plump lips.
Akali looks at her with wonder and adoration in her eyes. She just hopes Ahri feels the same. This… relationship feels one-sided. And as much as she hates to admit, Kai’Sa is right—this isn’t healthy.
Is it wrong to feel like this? Is it wrong to want to hold her girlfriend’s hand in public? To want to kiss her and hold her with not a care in the world?
A deep sigh leaves her. Akali closes her eyes and curls towards Ahri, her arms encircling the girl. Ahri snuggles into her and Akali takes the time to engrave this moment in her memory. The warmth, the proximity, the fuzzy feelings in her stomach… she doesn’t know how much more of this she’ll have.
She tightens her hold on Ahri, and hopes her love won’t slip through her fingers.
//
Akali wakes up grouchy. She wakes up to an empty bed, with nothing but a lipstick-marked note to signify Ahri’s departure.
So yeah, her morning isn’t going well.
“Whoa, you look like hell.” Kai’Sa comments on her appearance as she slumps against their shared locker. Akali’s eyes drift shut while Kai’Sa rummages around in there. “Didn’t sleep well last night?”
“No.” Akali sullenly says, “Ahri slept over last night. She left before I woke up.”
“Ahh.” Kai’Sa gently closes the locker door and glances over at her.
Akali huffs, blowing a stray strand of hair out of her face. So Ahri doesn’t want to be public with her and now she doesn’t even want to stay in bed with her? Fuck that. She rolls her shoulder, feeling the irritation roiling under her skin.
There’s a clamor down the other side of the hallway. It’s loud enough to draw both of their attention. The crowd parts to reveal Ahri, decked out in another of her usual gorgeous outfits. Everyone stops and stares at the popular girl. Ahri even throws a wink and a wave to the crowd for good measure.
Akali’s eyes trail after Ahri as she passes without a glance or a hello.
Kai’Sa’s eyes flicker back and forth between the two before she speaks up. “Not even a text message or anything?”
Akali grunts. “Nope.” The ‘p’ pops like a bubble of disappointment.
Kai’Sa watches Akali watch the crowd of admirers and frowns. “Wanna ditch class?”
Akali moves to stand up straighter, “Please.”
//
Skipping class leads to Akali and Kai’Sa getting their hands on some booze—courtesy of their last banger party they had—which leads to them drinking the afternoon away in Kai’Sa’s old treehouse.
The sun is bright as it begins its descent. Akali points a finger out, “Look! A bunny.”
Kai’Sa squints but she manages to make out the shape in the gathering of fluffy white clouds. “Ooh, yeah, I see it. Haha!”
Akali hums and closes her eyes. The warmth of the setting sun feels great on her face. Or maybe that was the alcohol flooding her system. Either way—she feels warm and nice.
She can’t remember the last time she felt this carefree.
//
Ahri wrings her hands nervously. She hasn’t seen Akali in class earlier, and she hasn’t been answering her texts or calls either. It’s unlike her not to answer.
She finds herself in front of Akali’s house. Concern guides her hand into knocking. Footsteps shuffle from the other side and after a moment, the door opens. Her face falls.
Instead of Akali, Uncle Shen greets her at the door. “Oh, Ahri! It’s nice to see you again.” Shen opens the door a little wider. “Akali isn’t home at the moment. Did you need something?”
“Ah… no, that’s ok.” Ahri keeps a straight face but she couldn’t keep the crestfallen tone out of her voice.
Shen surely picked up on it, staring a little longer. “You look troubled. Would you like to come in for some tea?”
“I…,” Ahri hesitates before agreeing. “If you don’t mind.”
Shen leaves the door open and goes further into the house. Ahri follows at a slow pace. It feels a little unusual to be here without Akali.
Ahri takes a seat at the dining table. The sound of clinking coming from the kitchen and soon enough, Shen sets a steaming cup of tea in front of her. “Penny for your thoughts?”
Ahri stares into the tea cup, watches the liquid ripple and steam. Where does she even start? How does she explain the crawling anxiety that plagues her. The paranoia that whispers in her ear when she’s in public.
Especially when she’s with Akali. Oh, sweet Kali.
Ahri gnaws on her bottom lip. Akali doesn’t deserve how she’s been treating her. She doesn’t mean to do it but—the whispers in the hallways, the judging eyes, the giggling behind her back. How does Akali have the courage to not give a fuck ? Akali’s so much braver than her, not minding what anyone thinks about her sexuality and the labels placed on her.
“How do you… how is Akali so casual about everything? She just shrugs off opinions like it’s nothing.“ Ahri crosses her arms, slightly hunching over her cup of tea.
Shen stares for a moment before speaking, “Akali has a—hmm, how do you say it—thick skin. She only cares for the opinions of those close to her.”
“Sometimes opinions are important,” Shen pauses for dramatic effect. “But not if they aren’t coming from the people you value in your life. Don’t let the assumptions and thoughts of strangers prevent you from pursuing what you really want.”
The words ring in her head, echoing as clarity starts to take shape. Ahri takes a deep breath and is about to say something else when the front door swings open.
“I’m feeling sleepy, Kai-Kai.” Akali murmurs into the back of Kai’Sa’s hair.
“Yeah, yeah. We’re almost there.” Kai’Sa says as she carries Akali on her back. She can handle her liquor. Akali on the other hand… yeah, not so much.
“Easy, Kai.” Evelynn chuckles as she closes the front door. “Give her a break.”
Ahri stands by the doorframe, silently watching. Her eyes are fixed on Akali, studying the red flush on her cheeks. She ditched class to get wasted? What for?
They notice Ahri when they move past the entry hall. Kai’Sa looks surprised, Evelynn not so much. There’s a weird tension that makes Ahri swallow before she says, “Hey.”
It’s Evelynn who moves first. Her best friend comes close enough for a brief hug. “Hey there, Ahri. What are you doing here?”
“I was looking for Akali.” Ahri doesn’t miss the way Kai’Sa’s eyes narrow.
“Well, here she is.” Kai’Sa’s tone is dismissive as she turns and heads to Akali’s room. “You can go now.”
Ahri looks taken aback by the jock’s cold tone. Evelynn sighs and takes her hand gently in hers. “Come on.”
The four of them enter Akali’s room. Kai’Sa gently dumps Akali onto the bed, her body bouncing a little from the force. It manages to stir her awake slightly. “Wha—Kai?”
“Hey, bud. You’re back home now.” Kai’Sa gives her a pat on the leg. “Eve and I are gonna head out.”
“Mmhkay.” Akali squints up at her. “Bye Evie and Kai.”
Evelynn gives her a wave. Then she turns to Ahri and they exchange a look. They’ve known each other long enough for Ahri to decipher that look as ‘fix this or suffer’. Evelynn takes Kai’Sa’s hand in hers and whispers something in her ear. Whatever it was, it got them out the door—leaving Ahri alone with Akali.
Akali’s eyes flutter open when the bed dips. She turns her head and sees a blonde lying next to her. A really pretty blonde too.
“Hi.” Her voice is quiet and just as pretty.
“Hi.” Akali says back. “You’re really pretty. Reminds me of my girlfriend.” A dopey smile appears on Akali’s face, before a small frown replaces it.
“Your girlfriend is pretty?”
“Yeah.” Akali grins and sighs. “The prettiest.”
Ahri smiles and she can’t help but ask, “What’s she like?”
The grin on Akali’s face slips. It’s a quiet moment before she gets out, “I don’t know anymore.”
Ahri’s eyebrows are raised in surprise. Whatever she expected, it certainly wasn’t this. “What… do you mean by that?”
A sigh leaves Akali’s mouth. Her eyes are glassy as she stares into the far-away distance. “I don’t know. We don’t exactly spend time together anymore—not unless you count bathroom make-outs and sleeping in the same bed together.”
Ahri winces. Had she really been neglecting Akali this much?
Her question seemed to have opened the floodgates because Akali slips into a drunken rant. She goes on about the whole issue being a public couple, the jealousy she feels when Ahri flirts with other people in front of her, and the hurt she gets whenever Ahri ignores her existence at school.
Every revelation felt like a dagger being driven into Ahri’s heart. So caught up in her insecurity and personal issues, she failed to see that she was hurting Akali—her girlfriend.
And just when Ahri thought Akali was done, another bomb was dropped on her. This one hurt more than anything:
“I just wished she’d give it to me straight, ya know?” Akali throws her head back on the pillow, eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “It just… hurts, being stuck in this limbo.”
Akali sniffles and squeezes her eyes shut. “I don’t know what would be better—if I break up with her or if she actually tries to make this relationship work.”
Ahri freezes, her heart dropping to the bottom of her stomach at the mention of ‘break up’. The thought of breaking up makes her feel terrified, even more than the public scrutiny.
Akali breathing slows as sleep claims her again. Ahri watches as a lone tear drop slides down her cheek and feels her heart ache.
She gently wipes the stray tear away before cuddling into Akali’s side. Ahri curls around Akali, tucking her under her chin and holds her tight against her chest. She hopes that it’s not too late.
//
Akali wakes up with a small throbbing headache. She groans and sits up, looking confused as she scans her surroundings. How’d she end up back in her room?
The door opens and Akali’s eyes widen as Ahri comes through the door.
“Oh, you’re awake. Good.” Ahri has a small smile on her lips. She hands Akali a glass of water and some painkillers. “Here. Take this.”
“Thanks.” Akali downs the pills and water and looks back at her girlfriend. Was that… Why are her eyes kinda red? Did she cry?
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Akali pulled Ahri down onto the bed, making her take a seat next to her. She placed a hand on Ahri’s cheek, thumb softly stroking Ahri’s face.
Ahri leans into the touch, leaning into the comforting warmth of her palm. “Akali, I’m… I’m sorry.”
Akali blinked and gaped. She wasn’t expecting this heavy conversation right after she woke up. Concern made her brow dip. Her other hand rose to join in cupping Ahri’s face. “Babe, what’s wrong? What are you apologizing for?”
“Last night, while you were drunk... ,” Ahri’s eyes were downcast. “You told me about how you felt—about me and my behavior, about how I’m unfairly treating you.”
“O-oh…” Akali slipped on a frown and slowly withdrew her hands. The rearing thoughts of jealousy and sadness began to stir.
Ahri widened her eyes and captured Akali’s retreating hands in hers. “Please, Kali. The reason why I acted like that was because...,”
Akali looked at her girlfriend; tears lined Ahri’s eyes, anxiety fogged her expression until she took a deep breath to continue.
“I’m just… scared.” Ahri breathed out.
“Of what? What do you have to be scared of?” Akali pressed the issue. This was the only thing she couldn’t understand. “You’re amazing, babe. You’re a top notch student and you excel at your academics. The people at school fawn over you with heart eyes… it’s just a little concerning how much they simp for you.” Akali mutters under her breath before continuing. “And you’re so pretty! Like really, unbelievably beautiful. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky to have you as my girlfriend.”
Akali squeezes Ahri’s hands gently. “What are you scared of?”
Ahri inhales and exhales a shaky breath. It’s easier to breathe around Akali. It always has been. Why didn’t she see this before?
“I’m afraid of people—their staring and the judging, the gossip behind my back. I’m not ashamed of being with you!” Ahri tries to explain the issue that’s been plaguing her mind. “I love you, Akali... but I’m just scared of what people will think of me. Of how they’ll treat me when they realize that I like girls. Not everyone is as open-minded and accepting as our friends and families.”
Ahri is panting just a bit after having gotten that off her chest. The secret is in the air and she feels relieved from keeping it bottled up for so long.
“Oh, baby.” Akali’s heart aches at the tears threatening to spill from Ahri’s eyes. She now knows that this was a fear Ahri thought about often, if the quiver in her voice and the trembling in her hands told her anything.
“There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’m here with you every step of the way.” Akali cooed and drew her girlfriend into her arms.
Ahri sank into Akali’s comforting embrace, arms wrapping around the girl tightly. “That’s just the thing! You’re the one that’s been by my side. I’ve been so far up my own ass that I haven’t been treating you right.” She pulls back a little to look Akali square in the eye.
“I love you, Akali. So much that it makes my chest feel tight sometimes, like butterflies swarming in my stomach just like how they describe it in the movies.” Honey gold eyes stare into warm pools of brown. Determination flashes through them. “I’m going to treat you better. I’m not going to let my own fear let you slip through my fingers.”
Akali’s heart was beating fast, pounding loudly in her ears at Ahri’s declaration. Warmth surged within her, adoration filling every bone in her body. She didn’t even realize she was crying until her vision blurred at the edges.
Ahri’s brows furrowed in worry. “Kali, you’re crying. Did I say something wrong?”
“No, no—” A big grin lit up Akali’s face. She leaned forward, pressing her forehead against Ahri’s. Hands moved back up to cup her girlfriend’s face again. “I fucking love you, Ahri. And I’ll always be with you. I’m just so, so happy you’re fighting for me too.”
Akali couldn’t hold herself back any longer. The love she felt brimming in her heart threatened to spill over. She pressed her mouth against Ahri’s, hoping that her girlfriend understood how much love she was feeling in the moment.
The kiss was slow and deep. Lips pressed and slid against each other, taking the time to map and explore familiar territory with renewed feelings. Two synchronized hearts beat as one, pulsing with so much love the two held for each other. Warmth unfurled from their chests, blooming and flourishing until it spread through their bodies, from the crown of their heads to the tip of their toes.
//
The bell rang and students picked up their belongings before filing out the classroom. Ahri walked through the door and found herself among the crowd. It was lunch time so the hallways were filled.
A hand waved in the air, catching her attention. She turned and saw Akali waiting for her by her locker. Her lips stretched into a smile and she hurried her steps.
“Hey.” Akali grinned at her girlfriend.
“Hi.” Ahri gave into her urges and pulled Akali into a hug.
“Ha ha! What’s gotten in you?” Akali laughed and returned the hug, arms curling around Ahri’s waist.
“I love you, Kali.” Ahri said before pressing their lips together. It was a bold move. Especially in the crowded hallway. She could feel stares on her back… but the warmth of Akali’s hand on the small of her back soothed any worry away. Ahri sighed into the kiss and melted in Akali’s embrace. As long as she had her, there was nothing to worry about.
They parted with big smiles, so bright that it lit up their faces. Their joy was palpable, shining there in the depth of their eyes.
“I love you too.” Akali took Ahri’s hand in hers, intertwining their fingers.
“Walk me to the cafeteria?” Ahri giggled and threw her hair over her shoulder, making a show of flirting with Akali.
“Sure, babe. Anything for you.” Akali snickered and started walking, swinging their hands together. It felt so good to finally be able to hold her girlfriend’s hand in public, let alone kiss her. She could feel her heart beating fast, a fuzzy feeling swelling in her stomach as she looked at Ahri’s carefree expression.
“Fucking finally.” Kai’Sa said as she stood next to Evelynn. The two watched as Ahri and Akali sat together in the cafeteria, holding hands and feeding each other french fries. Some students glanced at them but it was harmless. Kai’Sa would fight the first person that made a nasty comment. Yeah, she’d shove them up against a locker or something. Hmph.
“I’m glad that they got their shit together.” Kai’Sa sighed in relief at the sight of the two lovebirds. They were sweet together—sickeningly sweet. But she’d take this version of her friends instead of the sad Akali and Ahri weeks ago.
“It seems so.” Evelynn said. She was happy for Ahri, and glad that her best friend managed to overcome her own insecurity and fear with the help of Akali. They deserved to be together.
Eve leaned into her girlfriend’s side. Kai’Sa wrapped an arm over her shoulder and she smiled. “Come on, we should join them.”
Kai’Sa and Evelynn walked hand-in-hand towards Ahri and Akali. The smiles on their friends’ faces was easygoing and carefree, bringing a sense of relief to their hearts.
“Alright, lovebirds. Not in front of my salad.” Kai’Sa ruffled Akali’s hair before they took a seat at the table.
Ahri and Evelynn giggled while Akali exclaimed, “You got a burger! There’s not even a salad in sight!”
Kai’Sa narrowed her eyes, “Don’t make me start sucking Eve’s face. You won’t win a PDA competition with me. I’m shameless when it comes to my boo.”
Akali sputtered as her and Ahri’s faces turned red. Evelynn laughed heartily while Kai’Sa had a smug smirk. Oh, yeah. She totally won that one.