Chapter Text
Ace added President Romanadvoratrelunder
Ace added Coordinator Narvinectralonum
Ace added Cardinal Braxiatel
Ace added Leela of the Sevateem
Coordinator Narvinectralonum: Ace I thought you were joking about the chat room.
President Romanadvoratrelundar: And why have I been added to this?
Ace changed President Romanadvoratrelundar’s nickname to Fred
Ace changed Cardinal Braxiatel’s nickname to Uncle Brax
Ace changed Coordinator Narvinectralonum’s nickname to Penguin
Ace changed Leela of the Sevateem’s nickname to Stab
Penguin: PENGUIN?!
Ace: your normal names are too long
Stab: i liek my new name
Fred: Finally, someone uses the name I chose.
Penguin: But why Penguin?!?!?
Ace: you look like a penguin. thats why i dont wear your silly cia robes, i dont want to look like a flightless bird
Stab: wat is a penguin
Fred: A black and white bird. Ace is right, Narvin does resemble a penguin. He’s just missing the beak.
Penguin: I am not a penguin!
Ace: Alright, I’ll change it
Ace changed Penguin’s nickname to Pingu
Ace: better?
Pingu: And what is a Pingu?
Ace: its, uh, its an earth title. it means “wise leader”
Pingu: Oh. Well, I am happy with this title then.
Fred: I can’t believe you sometimes Ace...
Uncle Brax: What on Gallifrey have I just walked in on?
Fred: No idea. Ace seems to have set up a chat group for us.
Uncle Brax: That is a dreadful idea.
Pingu: That’s what I tried to tell her.
Stab: i fink it is a grate idea. now we can talk to one anofer all the time
Ace: exactly! see, leela gets it!
Fred: I’m not sure I have the mental energy to be talking to you all in a chat room all the time. In person is taxing enough, let alone all day on my communicator as well.
Ace: wow thanks mate
Pingu: Oh charming.
Stab: u love us reely romana
Uncle Brax: Leela remind me to give you some literacy lessons sometime.
Ace: dont fall for it leela! literacy is one of the most boring subjects out there!
Stab: do not worry ace. i will not let brax teach me anything
Uncle Brax: And why not!? I am an excellent teacher, tell them Romana.
Uncle Brax: Romana?
Ace: haha! she’s ghosting you!
Uncle Brax: Romana I thought I could trust you.
Pingu: Then you clearly know nothing about Romana.
Stab: i fink romana is very trust worthy
Uncle Brax: Well you would
Stab: and wat dose that mean
Fred changed Ace’s nickname to Dorothy
Fred: AHA! I figured out how to use the system!
Dorothy: NO
Dorothy changed their nickname to President Ace
Fred changed President Ace’s nickname to Sugar Rush
Sugar Rush changed their nickname to Ace, Goddess of Wisdom and Blowing Shit Up
Fred changed Ace, Goddess of Wisdom and Blowing Shit Up’s nickname to Penguin Junior
Penguin Junior changed their nickname to STOP BULLYING ME ROMANA
Fred changed STOP BULLYING ME ROMANA’s nickname to No
No changed Fred’s nickname to Bottoms 4 Leela
Pingu: …
Uncle Brax: Too far Ace
Stab: wat dose ace mean
Bottoms 4 Leela: I’ll tell you later.
No: i bet you will ;)
Bottoms 4 Leela: ACE!
Stab: i still dont under stand
Bottoms 4 Leela: Don’t worry about it Leela.
Bottoms 4 Leela changed their nickname to Fred
Fred changed No’s nickname to Teenage Dirtbag
Uncle Brax: A bit extreme, don’t you think Romana?
Fred: No I don’t think that at all.
Teenage Dirtbag: BECAUSE I’M JUST A TEENAGE DIRTBAG BABY
Teenage Dirtbag: LISTEN TO IRON MAIDEN BABY WITH ME
Uncle Brax: Oh, you meant the song...
Stab: how do you listen to an iron maiden
Pingu: Skill
Teenage Dirtbag: i have got to introduce you lot to some more of my music
Fred: Don’t you dare. Last time you did that Leela was humming Bowie for weeks afterwards.
Stab: i still do not under stand how a girl with a mouse for hare can live on mars
Teenage Dirtbag: …
Pingu: It’s at times like this where I’m glad I know nothing about Earth culture.
Teenage Dirtbag: you dont know what your missing
Uncle Brax: *you’re
Teenage Dirtbag: who made you the grammar police
Uncle Brax: Borusa, in my fifth year at the academy. It’s a role I took very seriously.
Teenage Dirtbag: why doesnt that surprise me
Pingu: Well, this has been an enlightening experience but I think I’m done with this nonsense now. Goodbye.
Pingu has left the chat
Teenage Dirtbag added Coordinator Narvinectralonum
Teenage Dirtbag changed Coordinator Narvinectralonum’s nickname to Pingu
Teenage Dirtbag: you ain’t getting out of this that easily narv
Pingu: Do not call me Narv.
Teenage Dirtbag: you like it really
Pingu: I do Not. Narvin is already a shortened version of my name, what’s wrong with it?
Teenage Dirtbag: too many syllables
Pingu: Coming from ‘Teenage Dirtbag’.
Teenage Dirtbag: hey romana called me that, not me
Pingu: You still don’t shorten anybody else’s name. Romana has more syllables than Narvin.
Teenage Dirtbag: yeah but romana is a pretty name, i could never shorten it
Stab: do not lie ace. you once called her roro
Teenage Dirtbag: yes but she threatened me with exile if i ever did it again
Pingu: And how do you know I won’t exile you if you don’t stop calling me ‘Narv’?
Teenage Dirtbag: i know you could never exile me narv, you love me too much xx
Fred added K9 MK II
Stab: k9!!!!
Teenage Dirtbag: HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT K9
Fred: I was wondering the same thing, how dare you forget him.
K9 MK II: 01001101 01101001 01110011 01110100 01110010 01100101 01110011 01110011 00100000 01010010 01101111 01101101 01100001 01101110 01100001 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110010 01100101 01110001 01110101 01101001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101100 01101011
Pingu: …
Stab: is he broken
Uncle Brax: Oh dear.
Teenage Dirtbag: why is he speaking in binary code?
K9 MK II: 01001101 01101001 01110011 01110100 01110010 01100101 01110011 01110011 00100000 01010010 01101111 01101101 01100001 01101110 01100001 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110010 01100101 01110001 01110101 01101001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101100 01101011
Pingu: Did you seriously think adding a computer to a chat room was a good idea?
Fred: I think it was an excellent idea.
Pingu removed K9 from the chat
Stab: you monster
Teenage Dirtbag: how dare you
Pingu: It had to be done.
Fred: It didn’t have to be done. You just hate my dog.
Pingu: I do not hate K9!! I just do not want to put up with endless streams of binary code!
Stab: i do not have to put up wif this treatment of k9. i am going to go and make sure he is ok
Teenage Dirtbag: yeah i gtg too. cya later guys
Pingu: What is ‘gtg’?
Uncle Brax: Not a clue.
Fred: I haven’t the foggiest.