Chapter Text
Have you heard of the woods past the old lover’s well? No, what about them? They say those woods are enchanted, that all sorts of creatures live there. Really? Like what? The fae, and unicorns. I’ve always dreamed of being a unicorn But beware, as they say a nefarious dragon prowls the depths of the woods. Dragon? Surely you jest. They say he prowls the dead of night, swooping up maidens and bringing them back to his lair to ravish them. Sounds like an old wives tale. You’d be wise to be wary, just last week a girl was taken. I thought Suzie ran away. That’s what they’re saying, but don’t you think it’s strange? There’s no village for miles, where would a runaway go? You make a good point. But don’t tell anyone Why? They say those who question are the first to go. Go where? I should get back to tending the flowers, they’ll wither without me. Oh, alright then. But heed my warning, those woods are no good. I’ll stay away.
At a lunch spent at a local café, a conversation spoken in hushed voices is sure to alight the fire of one’s imagination, and Joseph always had great hearing. Which is how he ended up here, stuck upside down in a giant web in the middle of the wood. Spiders are crafty little insects. Usually. In this case the spider is likely a crafty -very large- insect, considering the web was big enough to catch him in it. So how did the young man end up in said web? In this case Joseph hadn’t been watching very carefully where he was going, and had stepped in a lasso-shaped web trap, which once triggered had launched him into the web located just above him. Luckily his arms were free, so he took out his sword and cut himself down, or he would’ve, if the sword hadn’t gotten stuck in the web too. So maybe brute force wouldn’t get him out. He would just take off his jacket and pants, which were both stuck to the web, but this jacket was handmade by his granny, and he couldn’t throw away something so special without exploring every other option. Luck was with him it seems, as below him a person walking along the path came into view.
“Heyyyyyyy, Hey there! You!” He yelled at the person below.
The person looked up at him, looked back down, and kept walking. “I’m not supposed to interfere with the ecosystem of the wood, it might upset the balance.”
“Oh c’mon! Don’t be prissy, help me down! Please! I’ll do anything!”
This caught the person’s attention. “Hmm, I guess I’m a part of the ecosystem too, and if you had something to offer me that would be enough of a reason for me to help you. So tell me, what skills do you have?”
Joseph thought for a second, “Umm, I’m fit so I’m good at manual labor, I’m educated so I can help you with books, and, Oh! I can cook!”
“Hmm… I guess that would be helpful. Tell you what, I’ll help you get down, but in return you will become my servant until I say otherwise.”
“Servant? You’ve got to be kidding me. Couldn’t I just help you out once in awhile? I’m kind of on a mission right now.”
This gave the person pause. “Mission? What mission could possibly bring you all the way out here?”
“I’m taking down the dragon, that bastard kidnapped my friend Suzie!”
At this the person laughed, “Alright, I suppose if nothing else this will be amusing. I’ll take you to the dragon’s lair. But after that, servitude. Got it?”
“Yeah ok, whatever. Now hurry up and let me down!”
The person, who had messy blonde hair, a headband, and feathers by his ears, tossed up a vial, “This is an unsticking reagent. You can use it to get unstuck from the web. I’m Caesar by the way, who are you?”
Joseph doused himself in the liquid and immediately fell from the web. “I’m Joseph Joestar.” He stuck out his hand to shake. Caesar looked at it, looked back at him, and started walking.
“So what are you doing all the way out here? I thought most people didn’t come out to these woods.” Joseph asked.
Caesar kept walking, at least a minute passed before Joseph kept talking, “I mean, you seem to know your way around, what with being prepared for that web and all. Do you… live here or something?”
“Hmm…” He paused, “I guess you could say that.”
Joseph laughed, “Wow could you be any vaguer? I thought only ancient wizards and politicians answered yes or no questions with a maybe.”
Caesar looked back at Joseph, “I never denied being either of those things you know.”
“No way! Can you do magic? I didn’t know magic even existed!” Joseph’s eyes alit with childlike wonder.
“Can I do magic?” He smiled, and clapped his hands together. “Perhaps.”
“Aww, way to get my hopes up. Man, you must really be a wizard! You certainly don’t look the political type after all.”
“And how do you figure that?” Caesar raised a brow.
Joseph stepped up to Caesar and snatched his hand, rubbing along the skin. “Feel that? No scales! Everyone knows politicians are reptiles.”
Caesar sputtered and whipped his hand away, “Watch your distance fool! Did your mother not teach you manners?”
Joseph smiled, “Hey! I’ll have you know my granny did a great job teaching me proper etiquette! Whether or not I retained that information is another matter.”
Just then the path they were on led into a clearing. Joseph would have noticed the sunlight falling over the grass like a veil, and patches of pink lilies blooming along the edges of the clearing, but his attention was taken up by the majestic creature in the middle of the field.
“Shh, don’t approach it” Caesar whispered to no avail.
“Holy shit! A unicorn!” Joseph yelled, which drew the unicorn’s attention. The unicorn faced Joseph, and a rainbow haze surrounded it so Joseph only focused on the unicorn’s face. As he stared more, the unicorn’s face split, and suddenly there were 2, no 4 unicorns coming towards Joseph.
“That’s funny, now there are more of them…” The unicorns multiplied, which combined with the rainbows ended up looking like a kaleidoscope. Joseph felt his body numb, he couldn’t look away, when suddenly there was a muffled scream and everything went red, and then to black.
Joseph blinked away the haze as the scene came back into view, “What just happened? Where am I?” He lazily said.
As he spoke, he realized with growing horror that there was a bloody unicorn lying directly in front of him, its head lopped off. Above the unicorn stood Caesar, his clothes stained crimson, holding a bloody axe. He looked angry.
“Are you an idiot? Why the hell would you yell in front of a unicorn? Are all you villagers like this? Do you know nothing?” He held his axe in front of him and muttered something, after which the axe shrank onto a small key ring that he put on his belt. “You’re lucky you’re traveling with me, otherwise you’d be unicorn chow by now.” He held out a hand to help Joseph up. Joseph took the offered hand, steadying himself using Caesar’s shoulder. He found the strength slowly returning to his limbs.
“What the hell did it do to me? It was like I was in another dimension, out of my body.” Joseph rubbed his head with a hand, he was getting a headache.
“Unicorns use visual illusions to distract and freeze their prey before they strike, all they need to do is focus their horn on you and you’re a goner.” Caesar looked at Joseph with something like concern in his eyes. “Now come on, unicorn blood is valuable, soon it’ll attract other creatures I’d really rather not deal with right now.”
“Oh- ok, thanks by the way.” Joseph said. “Though it’s strange, unicorns in the myths were described as beautiful, kind creatures.”
“Yeah… strange…” Caesar said, but Joseph got the feeling he knew more than he was letting on.
They walked from the clearing onto another path, and followed the path for awhile longer before they came to a castle. The outside was grand, with gargoyles guarding the entrance and gothic architecture.
“Is this…?” Joseph started, but Caesar opened the door to the castle and walked in.
“Wait! Are you sure that’s a good idea, just walking into a dragon’s lair like that? We need to make preparations first! Stop! Hold on!” Joseph rambled, but nervously followed Caesar in.
If the outside of the castle was grand, the inside was anything but. There was a singular sofa in the middle of the hall and a table in front of it with a tulip record player on it, but the lobby was barren besides that.
“Make yourself at home, it’s not often I get visitors. Sorry if you were expecting more, but I prefer not to accumulate extraneous things.” Caesar went to sit on the sofa, gesturing to the open room.
Joseph stood dumbfounded, “I’m confused, I thought we were going to the dragon’s lair?”
“We did.” Caesar replied simply.
“Oh… huh?”
“It seems you’re not getting it. Allow me to spell it out for you.” He pointed to himself matter of factly. “I, Caesar Zeppeli, am the only dragon in these woods.”
“That’s impossible, you’re human! And this can’t be a dragon’s lair, there’s no piles of treasure and gold!” Joseph sputtered, confused.
“First, this is just my human form. Second, I don’t like treasure and gold scattered about the place, it just makes it messy and hard to walk. Keeping a reasonable amount of gold in a safe for me to get by is enough. I don’t need to collect useless things.”
“Wait… human form? Does this mean you have a dragon form too?”
“Yes, I’ll show you, though it takes a lot of energy to transform, so I don’t do it often.”
Caesar walked over to a plain record player, put on a record, and a bright melody started playing. Then he started moving in time with the music, posing on the beats and leaping about until a bright light emitted from his form and a blue eyes white dragon came forth, lithe in figure though feathery.
Joseph stood in awe and confusion with his jaw dropped on the floor.
Suddenly there was a voice in Joseph’s head. Are you satisfied now?
“Woah! What was that? Was that… you?” Joseph asked the dragon.
Yes. I can communicate telepathically in this form.
“That’s crazy! Crazy ancient dragon magicks, huh.” Joseph shook his head for a minute before remembering what he was here for. “Oh yeah! Suzie! What did you do with her?”
The dragon visibly let out a breath. I have no idea who that even is.
“Whaaaaaat? But everyone said the dragon took her! And you’re the only dragon in the wood!”
The dragon laughed. You’re a fool for believing baseless rumors. Any number of things could have happened to her.
“Well I’m going to find out what happened to her! She was my friend.”
No, you agreed to be my servant, and I have no business finding lost girls in the wood.
“I’ll spit in your food if you don’t let me go! I promise I’ll come back after I get to the bottom of this but you have to understand, I’ll go crazy if I just let her die!”
The dragon stared at Joseph, who looked like he might cry. Well, it wasn’t like he had much else to occupy his time with. Fine. We’ll find the girl. But after, servitude.
Joseph’s face lit up. “We?”
I can’t very well let you go alone to what will likely be your death.
Joseph ran forward and jump-hugged the feathery beast, who was very fluffy indeed, Joseph noted. Caesar resolved to just let it happen, though there was a small part, deep inside him that liked the contact after so long without a companion. A servant, he reminded himself.