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“This is the story about how you’re totally in love with Aunt Robin!”
Felicity freezes. She continues to watch until Ted looks up at Robin, holding that infamous blue French horn that looks like a Smurf penis, but she still doesn’t move.
Diggle has been watching Felicity as she views the series finale of How I Met Your Mother. She had demanded the night off from Team Arrow business, citing the show’s importance to her television spectatorship by renewing her faith in sitcoms with laugh tracks.
“I mean, after Arrested Development, you just couldn’t really do that anymore.”
Roy frowned. “Doesn’t The Big Bang Theory have a laugh track?”
Felicity’s eyes go hard. “Yes it does,” she begins, "but that show is an insult to geeks everywhere. It’s like the school bullies are writing for the school geeks, pulling out every Revenge of the Nerds cliché they can. It's portrayal of genius makes us into freaks, and as a woman, the fact that they think women don’t go into comic book shops offends me. Do you know how often I went to comic book shops as a kid? Black Widow is the only reason I survived high school!”
Roy, Diggle and Oliver glance at each other. In one babbling rant, they have learned more about Felicity Smoak than they have in two years of working with her.
“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad in high school for you.”
Felicity glares at Oliver.
“Says the Prom King to the president of the computer club.” She is using her Loud Voice. “You have no happy stories about the island? I have no happy stories about high school. Now, since we’ve established the importance of How I Met Your Mother to the revival of the multi-camera format, you understand why we are taking that night off!”
No one was brave enough to deny her.
After her outburst, Oliver had wanted someone to keep an eye on Felicity. While he didn’t stay glued to her side, John had been “hanging out” with her for the past four days.
Now it is the finale of a beloved show, and Diggle had watches as every single flash forward seems to depress Felicity more.
The episode ends, and Felicity still hasn’t moved. Oliver and Roy had warned him about her reactions to television shows, but he thinks going catatonic is a bit much.
“You okay?” he asks, carefully.
His words finally get her attention. She turns her head towards him, the same fire that had lit her eyes when she spoke of comic book shops and The Big Bang Theory glaring at him from behind her glasses.
“I need to go on Twitter.”
That wasn’t the reaction Dig is expecting, though he gives her the tablet sitting on the coffee table.
She begins typing furiously, fingers touching the keyboard on screen with a speed only she is capable of. John watches her.
“So… what are you doing?”
He asks gently, trying not to alarm her. Treating her like a skittish wild animal seems the best course of action.
She speaks haltingly, fingers still flying and taking up most of her attention. “I… am… joining... all… of… social… media… in… my… outrage… at… that… finale…”
“You have a Twitter account?” John asks, trying to get her mind away from the show she just watched.
“Yes… and… it’s… connected… to… an… email… address… owned… by… one… Tamara… Healy…”
“Why the alias? And can’t someone track you through a Twitter account?’
She continues typing. “Tamara… Healy… died… in… 2006… so… she… doesn’t… exist… in… any... current… databases… and… besides… if… someone… traces… my… IP… address… it… directs… them… to… a… rural… town… in… Guangxi… Provence… China…”
Dig is still worried about her. This isn’t the sobbing tirade Roy spoke of, or the hyperventilating horror Oliver experienced. He looks over her shoulder and sees her sending tweet after tweet out into the universe.
@tamarasmoke: “I wasted 9 years of my life for that?!? I’m sorry, but that was the WORST way to EVER possibly end a show. @HIMYM_CBS #HIMYM #HIMYMFinale”
@tamarasmoke: “Nope. Nope. Nope. Worst ending ever. Blue French horn or not. What a let down. #HIMYMFinale”
@tamarasmoke: “I thought it was How I Met Your Mother, not ‘How I Went Back To Your Aunt Robin About 20 Times’ #HIMYM #HIMYMFinale”
@tamarasmoke: “’How We Destroyed 9 Years of Character Development in one 40 minute episode’ #HIMYMFinale #HIMYM
@amarasmoke: “’How I (Slept with a Bunch of Random Women Before I) Met Your (Dead) Mother (And Decided to Sleep With Your Aunt In The End).’ #HIMYMFINALE”
Diggle’s brow furrows after reading the tweets. “Wait, so that’s all you really ever saw of the mother?”
He couldn’t be certain, but he thought Felicity growled. “The mother is dead. Nine years and the mother is dead and Ted shows up with a blue French horn and all is right with the world.”
“That’s… unfortunate.”
“Unfortunate is getting canceled after only one season. Unfortunate is a crappy time slot. Screwing with the audience after nine years of loyalty is abuse.”
She begins mumbling incoherently. Diggle can occasionally decipher some words (“Barney,” “slap bet,” “dead mother,” “pineapple,” “Robin,” “disappointment,” “mail server,” “revenge”), and could recognize some of the acronyms she would throw in (“OMG,” “CBS,” “WTF”), but it mostly is gibberish to him. He grabs his own phone and decides the smart thing would be to text Oliver and warn him that Felicity would be in a bad mood the next morning.
On second thought, he thinks it would probably be quite entertaining when she begins throwing things across the office when Oliver asks how the episode went.
Diggle tuns off his phone.
Oliver is a big boy.
He can fend for himself.