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Angelus’s eyes flash golden as the soul is returned.
“Buffy? What’s going on? Where are we?” It is Angel speaking now.
Buffy’s eyes go wide.
“Angel?”
“You’re hurt. Oh, Buffy… God. I… I feel like I haven’t seen you in months. Oh, my god, everything’s so muddled. I… oh. Oh, Buffy… what’s happening?”
Tears fall from Buffy’s eyes.
“Shh… Don’t worry about it.”
She tilts her head to kiss him, one last time.
“I love you,” she says.
“I love you,” he echoes.
“Close your eyes.”
With that whisper, she kisses him again and plunges the sword into his heart.
“Buffy…” There is confusion and betrayal in his voice, though the love and trust remains.
A flash of light and a whirlwind portal open up, sucking Angel into the hell dimension Acathla opened up. The lights quickly disappear, and all that is left is the statue of the stone demon.
“Felicity?”
Roy’s voice is worried. She sobs quietly, clutching a throw blanket around her body and up to her face. She sits on the other side of the couch in a fetal position, eyes glued to the television.
A Sarah Maclachlan song begins to play in the background. Roy turns from Felicity back to the screen, where Buffy watches her friends from afar before taking a bus out of Sunnydale.
“Um, Blondie, you okay?”
The small sobs continue.
He knew staying at Felicity’s place while he was in between apartments meant watching television with her. It meant sitting there while she got overly emotional about fictional characters.
Oliver had warned him, but he didn’t expect it to be this bad.
“C’mon, Felicity. Talk to me.”
“It’s not like I even like Angel.” Her voice is small, still clouded with tears, but there’s a hint of anger behind her words.
“What?”
“Angel is broody and tortured and basically the Edward Cullen of the 90s and I get enough of the guilt-ridden hero thing from Oliver.”
Roy doesn’t know how to respond to this.
“Um… okay?”
“No, it’s not okay!” The anger she was feeling begins to make itself known. “I like Spike; I love Spike! And getting this emotional over Angel feels like a betrayal, but oh my god… Buffy… every time my heart just breaks for her!”
“Every time? How many times have you watched this show?”
“I think this is my seventh re-watch.”
“You’ve seen this seven times and you’re still acting like this?”
“It’s Joss Whedon. He does this. He fucks with you and breaks your heart and is only happy when you’re miserable.”
Roy thinks. He's heard that name before. “He’s the Avengers guy, right?”
Even though they’re still glossy with tears, Felicity rolls her eyes.
“Before that he was the creator of cult TV shows and had a reputation as one of the most feminist showrunners in Hollywood.” Again, she sounds a little angry, maybe a bit annoyed.
Roy is getting confused. What does the Avengers guy being a feminist have to do with sending a vampire to hell?
“Uh… yeah.”
“He’s also known for killing beloved characters just as they reach a moment of happiness.” Now Felicity is sounding bitter.
“Well, that’s gotta suck.” Roy recognizes that she could be moving into her Loud Voice. He had better tread lightly around her and try not to set her off.
“Yes, it does suck! And I know Joyce is coming… oh, god, Joyce is going to devastate me… and Tara! Fuck, what they do to Tara! And over on Angel we have Wes and Fred and can’t they be given a fucking chance? And Wash… oh, I have never gotten over Wash!”
Roy is slowly reaching for his phone. His plan is to text Diggle, finding out what he should do with a weeping and slightly pissy Felicity.
“And the fucking cookie dough speech? It’s like make a fucking choice, Buffy! You got the guy who left you, the guy who turns into a monster if he sleeps with you—which is a really stupid curse, if you think about it—and back at home there’s Spike, the guy who went and got a soul for you! Who always has your back! That speech in Touched? If some guy said that to me I would do whatever it takes to be with him!”
“Wait… you mean Spike? Bad guy Spike? In love with Drusilla Spike?”
Roy is confused, but this time it isn’t about how to deal with Felicity. He knows who Spike is—the guy is kind of awesome, after all—but what she’s saying doesn’t make sense. Isn’t Spike’s whole thing supposed to be how he’s capable of loving Drusilla, even when she’s unfaithful to him? He frowns, realizing he’s overthinking a television show. A television show. Then he remembers Felicity’s face when Oliver and Sara were together and suddenly something becomes clear.
Felicity is kind of like Spike.
Felicity is the one who loves unconditionally, no matter what.
“So… Spike and Buffy hook up?” He decides to test his theory.
“Hook up? ‘Hook up’ doesn’t even begin to describe it. First it was a crush that—okay, it was kind of a creepy obsessive stalker thing, but it was so cute—then he keeps on saving and protecting Dawn. I mean, how could you not love someone who takes care of your little sister?! And after Buffy dies, he stays for Dawn. It’s not like there’s anything in it for him, but he stays and he takes care of her because he still loves Buffy! While Angel goes to get in touch with his manpain in Tibet—now, doesn’t that sound familiar?—Spike stays in Sunnydale, making sure all of Buffy’s friends stay safe, keeping up her mission because he loves her! And yeah, after Buffy comes back things get dark, but that’s because UPN allowed them to have more sexy scenes and Joss was off doing Firefly and Marti apparently had some issues with a college boyfriend… but then he fights for his soul. So he can be worthy of her. And that… that’s what a true hero does; someone worthy of Buffy.”
Felicity’s voice has gone quiet. Roy wants to ask who the hell she’s talking about—who are Dawn and Marti again? And what’s this about Buffy dying? And he tries to process what he’s heard with what he knows—Angel is Buffy’s One True Love, but apparently he leaves and does time in Tibet and Spike stays and does all this shit for her, and are they getting confused or something? Spike sounds like the good guy.
Then the realization hits.
Felicity is Spike.
And even though he apparently does Angel’s manpain schtick, Oliver is Buffy.
And that Laurel girl—gorgeous Laurel, as Felicity calls her—she’s the Angel in the scenario.
Roy comes to see he’s had his biggest mind-blowing understanding of a television show ever in this moment, in how relevant it is to his life. He puts the phone he’s still holding down on the coffee table, and sits staring at the Netflix screen.
Then something else occurs to him.
Wait…
If Diggle is Giles…
And if Dawn is Buffy’s sister, like Felicity is saying, then Thea’s the Dawn...
He thinks for a minute.
Then has another insight to his team and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Is he the Xander?
Shit. He really needs to stop watching TV with Felicity.
It makes him think too much.