Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Thank fuck Kuchel isn’t home right now and there is no danger of his mother just bursting into his room because she considers knocking on doors to be something only meant for strangers to do – because what has family got to hide from each other, right? Well. A hell lot of things. Like this one, Levi ponders, looking at the screen of his laptop; at the enlarged picture of a fat cock, to be exact, with a vein stretching across the whole shaft that looks a bit like a worm or parasite, and that makes a cold shiver run down Levi’s spine.

“Fucking gross,” he murmurs, closing the attachment, even though Levi usually likes the sight of cocks. He’s gay and an always-horny teenager after all. Of course he’s thinking about dicks and butts all the time. But this… This is too much even for him, he thinks. Because yeah: He might be on that website to find someone to take his virginity, a grown man to flirt and fuck with him, but sending a dick-pic instead of a simple human “hello” is definitely not the mature way of introducing oneself, is it? And this is what this website is supposed to be all about.

‘Sophisticated dating between older gentlemen and young lads.’

Well, so far Levi’s only seen shit. Only has been contacted by freaking silver foxes, men in their fifties or even sixties, while his profile clearly states that he is looking for a man between 30 and 40, not for a fucking grandpa with a wrinkly dick and saggy ass who’s gonna fucking die during sex and, ugh – “that’s just fucking disgusting,” Levi murmurs, grimacing, while he’s picturing having sex with a man as old as that.

He quickly blocks the guy with the veiny dick – and reads his other messages.

They are all the same, and Levi is already bored and pissed off at the same time. They all follow a certain pattern: If they don’t consist of a dick pic, the men chatting him up usually give him pet names right from the start.

Hey, sugar.
Hey, sweetheart.
Hello, cutie.
Hi, babe.
Hey, hot stuff.

And Levi is most definitely not a sweetheart and not cutie.

Some men comment on his looks.

Hey, I really like your body.
Hello, you look really tasty.

And what is he supposed to even say to that? Um, thank you? And then what?

Then, there’s men creating a mix of that.

Hi, you’re absolutely gorgeous, angel.

Angel…

And then there’s those guys that do all of that AND cut straight to the chase:

Hey, loverboy. You look absolutely delicious. I’d really love to put my dick in you. I can be gentle – if you want me to ;-)

Levi scoffs.

“Another fucking grandpa…” he mutters, rolling his eyes as he looks at the profile of the 47-year-old guy calling him loverboy.

One week, fifty messages from men and too many conversations making Levi cringe – this is the preliminary result of him being registered on that website. And that is definitely not how he’d imagined this to go down.

Sure, it felt kinda good to be desired, exciting even, and some of the cock pics and jerking-off sequences he’s received were really hot – but too many of those alleged gentlemen wanted his phone number to set up a meeting for sex after barely exchanging ‘hellos’. And even though Levi is desperate – fuck, he’s 17 years old, even freaking Isabel has already gotten laid and she’s just 15 and her boyfriend 16, while Levi hasn’t even touched a cock that isn’t his – he’s not that desperate.

He’s not looking for romance. But it’s his freaking virginity: If he’d wanted to give his first time to just anybody, he could just walk into the next gay bar and choose from there. But he’s picky. And he wants it to be… Well, maybe he doesn’t want it to be perfect. Not in the way that so many of his peers picture it to be: With their boyfriend or girlfriend, happily in love, with candles and shit. Because at the end of the day those boyfriends and girlfriends, too, have no fucking idea what they’re doing and the first time is anything but perfect. It’s sloppy, messy and embarrassing and ends up in chaos.

Levi doesn’t want that.

Also, because gay guys his age are so… They are so freaking immature and boring and mostly obnoxious and. Fuck. Levi just likes older guys. It is what it is.

It started with a crush on his teacher when he was just 11 years old. He lusted after the plumber coming in to fix their sink because uncle Kenny was nowhere to be found when he was 12. Levi fell in love with thousands of actors, Instagrammers and Youtubers in their late 20s when he turned 13 and entered puberty – and he is sure his tastes won’t change anymore.

The ideal guy to take his virginity, and all of his other firsts, would be in his 30s, well-built, intelligent, witty, clever and charming – and totally experienced in the bedroom, knowing exactly what he is doing and how he is doing it, making it a pleasurable first for Levi, not an embarrassing torture. And looking at the batch of messages coming in on this Friday night, Levi begins to think that probably this will remain a scenario for jerking-off for now, only a theory, a fantasy. Because none of the guys are to his liking.

“This is bullshit,” he mumbles, looking at the option to delete his profile, when one incoming message catches his eye. It’s not super eloquent, nothing extravagant, nothing long. But it breaks all of the those pervy-grandpa-patterns. That’s why it stands out.

“Good evening, Levi. How are you?”

The stranger’s username is simple: Erwin.

“God,” Levi scoffs, “another grandpa, huh?”

Despite thinking this, he clicks on the little icon next to that ancient name – a picture of a broad chest covered by a clean, white-collared shirt with a green bolo tie around the man’s neck. And Levi is glad he did so.

According to the info that Erwin-guy is 37. So not too young and not too old either. Levi goes through the other pictures the man uploaded. None of them show his whole face, but Levi gets that – he only posted pictures displaying single parts of his body and only a distorted one of his face, too. But… Levi likes what the man supplied. He sees a very fit body barely hidden by an elegant suit. He sees a set of very deep, breath-taking blue eyes framed by big, blond eyebrows for which the man probably got teased for in school but which now probably fascinate both men and women alike. Levi sees a naked, hard, very trained chest covered by hair and beautiful hard nipples – and he’s beginning to feel excitement take over his body.

He goes back to check Erwin’s profile information and begins to skim through it. Erwin has provided more details than most of the other guys that hit on Levi. And thus, he finds out that Erwin is into playing chess, that he loves to read, especially historical fiction. That he enjoys discovering new restaurants with someone by his side, that he loves taking his friends and lovers out to watch a good movie in the cinema or on long walks in the countryside ending with a cosy evening on the couch in front of the fireplace.

Of course Erwin has also filled out the form about his sexual preferences.

He is one hundred percent gay.
He’s a top.
And he says yes to the following: anal sex, anal fingering, light BDSM, blow-jobs, hand-jobs, kissing, rimming.

There’s an addition to his sexual preferences: “I usually don’t do bareback unless I really feel a deep connection with the other person involved – and both parties can provide a fresh STD test. Getting tested together? Definitely!”

Levi swallows thickly and continues to read through what else Erwin says about himself.

He cooks, he has a car so mobility isn’t a problem. He also has money – “of course I will always be the one to invite my dates” – and he hates unorganised and forgetful people. “You have a calendar on your phone. Use it.” Oh, and also he considers himself to be a fan of “clean people and clean houses” – and that makes Levi, a self-proclaimed clean-freak, grin, and his skin begins to tingle as his heartbeat picks up because he actually starts feeling nervous when he goes back to the chat window, pondering what he could say to that man.

He doesn’t come up with something impressive or flirtatious or cool. Because he really sucks at this. Because he’s nervous. And despite what many people think: Levi is actually pretty shy. Especially when facing an older man like that Erwin-guy.

“Is Erwin your real name?” he asks.

“Yes,” the man answers immediately and Levi’s actually surprised by the quick reply. “And I am aware that it is pretty rare and rather outdated ;-),” the man adds. “Am I correct to assume Levi is a fake name then?”

“No,” Levi types back, just as quickly as Erwin responded, “I’m also really called this way.”

“I’m glad. It really is a beautiful name.”

Levi waits for Erwin to add a comment on how fitting such a pretty name is for such a pretty boy. But Erwin doesn’t.

“How are you tonight?” he asks instead. And Levi is stunned. Still kind of suspicious and careful, just waiting for a random comment on fucking or a sudden dick pic to plop up – but that doesn’t happen. Instead, Levi tells him that he is alone at home and that he enjoys the peace and quiet of having the whole house to himself, and instead of Erwin offering to “keep him company” or some straight-forward shit like that, Erwin starts to reminiscence how he used to feel the same way about being left alone in the family home at Levi’s age.

“There is something mesmerising about the quiet in an empty house,” he says, “though I have always been happy when my family came home at some point. Because after a while it got pretty boring and I was glad to have some of the chaos back around me.”

This is how Levi learns that Erwin is a single child, but grew up with four dogs, and Levi is so envious because he’s always wished for a dog but Kuchel wouldn’t let him have one.

They talk for a whole hour about trivial stuff like that and Erwin tells him some funny stories about the dogs he used to own as a child and teenager, while Levi reveals having a pet turtle called Snickers and even sends Erwin a picture of it – and the man tells him that it’s adorable, sending a picture of his cat Bonkers in return, and Levi catches himself blushing, in a way glad that Erwin doesn’t see, and in a way not. Because this conversation feels so easy, he wonders what it would be like sitting face-to-face.

And then a shiver runs down his spine.

Because he doesn’t know this man at all. And if they were sitting at a table somewhere tonight, looking at each other, Levi probably wouldn’t even manage to form a single coherent sentence, let alone smile at that Erwin guy.

“It’s been so lovely talking to you tonight, Levi,” Erwin suddenly says – and Levi sighs. Because he knows that this is the moment the man will ask him if they want to continue this somewhere else, like his home, or Erwin’s, or a club, and Erwin will be just like any other dude and it will overwhelm Levi and he won’t know what to do, and will just shut down, but— “I need to go now,” Erwin announces, “my best friend is picking me up for a lads’ night out, and no matter how much I protest: he won’t let me spend my Friday night with my new book and a glass of wine, so I need to get ready to let myself be dragged down to the pub. Enjoy the rest of your quiet night ;-) I hope I will get the chance to talk to you again soon. Good night.”

And then the man just signs off, the little red dot next to the bolo tie avatar signalling that he is offline.

And Levi is stunned. And he hates himself. Because he starts giggling. Because his heart is racing and… and… and… And he really liked talking to this Erwin guy.

This feeling doesn’t leave him and he definitely ditches his plans of deleting his profile. Because he wants to talk to Erwin again, keeps scrolling through the man’s profile till late at night, and it’s the first thing he looks at once he wakes up to Kuchel yelling at his uncle at around midday and his mother stomping into his room to rip open his window widely, cursing at her offspring for sleeping so long and the room reeking of “a dying goose.”

The man is offline, and somehow this disappoints Levi – and he feels himself feeling slightly blush, waiting for this weird feeling in his stomach to also go away before he walks downstairs into the kitchen of their small semi-detached house on the eastern outskirts of town they share with their uncle Kenny.

The rest of the day he spends practically locked in his room which he loves because it’s in the attic, used to be storage unit but Kenny transformed it into a living space. It’s the most comfortable room of the house next to the living room with the open kitchen, and the only one on the top floor. Considering his mother never knocks, it’s a good thing the stairs leading up to his realm creak a lot – so Levi can actually hear when Kuchel approaches. Kenny keeps trying to tell her that a man has needs and she shouldn’t just walk into her maturing son’s room like that.

“You really wanna barge in while he’s beating the meat?” he says and Levi just wants to die out of embarrassment, especially when his mother indulges in this conversation and tells Kenny that ‘her son’ would never do ‘that’ with her present in the house out of respect.

She is so fucking wrong…

Because Kenny is right, and Levi has his fucking needs, and he cannot control his urges, especially now, looking at the picture of Erwin’s hairy, pure masculine, naked pectorals, his dick turning as hard as fucking steel at that sight – and he is jerking off the second time today. And he’s sure he’s gonna fit in a third round later when he takes a shower after going to the gym with Furlan.

“So, how’s the grandpa-search going?” his best friend asks him when they’re on the treadmill.

“Not all of them are actually grandpas…”

“Dude, we’re seventeen. Everyone older than 25 is a freaking grandpa for us.”

“Jesus, Furlan…” Levi scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“What?” the fair-haired counters energetically. “I’m just saying the truth!”

“Your truth. Not mine. Everybody under 25 is a fucking kid in diapers.”

“So we’re kids in diapers now, huh?”

“I’m not talking about you or myself, idiot. I’m talking about potential partners.”

“Potential partners,” Furlan repeats his best friend’s words in a mocking tone. “Don’t try to sound like an adult. Cause you are not.”

“I’m turning 18 this year, prick.”

“Oh, and you think turning 18 will make you wise and mature and experienced overnight, make you own a business and pay taxes and shit?” Furlan taunts him, laughing in a crude way, making the girls on the treadmills next to them look over.

“You sound like my mother.”

“Kuchel’s a wise woman. Maybe I should tell her about you trying to find a grandpa to fuck your brains out?”

“Do it and I’ll fucking kill you!” Levi barks at his best friend, alerting the trainer walking by.

“Oi!” he scolds them. “Keep it down boys or get the hell out of here, got it?!”

The both nod and wait for the man to walk past, the girls next to them start to giggle, making Furlan grin at them. He definitely fancies the brunette one, Levi’s sure. And somehow he wishes he would be into people his age, too. Probably would make things a little easier. Or maybe not. He is gay after all, and the only other gay teen in his proximity is the guy at his school, and he’s a fucking weirdo and so not Levi’s type.

“You know I won’t tell your ma, right?” Furlan softens his voice and Levi sighs.

“Yeah, I know, asshole.”

Furlan’s grinning. “I just don’t want you to get in trouble. You know, like that guy who went on that Grindr date and didn’t tell anyone where he went and who he was meeting with and then got stabbed by his weirdo-date? This shit is real, and come on: Guys in their 30s and 40s wanting to fuck a teenager? That’s just sick man, you won’t change my mind. So I won’t shut up about it how gross and dangerous this fucking is. They just want to exploit you, and deep down you know it.”

“How can they exploit me when we want the same thing?” Levi counters casually. “I mean: They just want sex. I just want sex. I know about the birds and the bees and I won’t have sex without a condom or shit like that – so what’s the fucking problem? I know exactly what I want. I want my first time to be with someone who has lots of experience. I want a good fuck. It’s not like I’m looking for a boyfriend.”

“But maybe you should be. Someone your age.”

“Yes, mom. I’ll think about it, mom,” Levi starts winding his best friend up, making Furlan roll his eyes, but also laugh.

He doesn’t tell Furlan about his conversation with Erwin, but as soon as he has put his bike into the small garage of their house, is out of his trainers and on his way to the shower – because he never uses the ones at the gym, always the one at home – he logs onto that special portal via the app installed on his phone, and feels overly stupid at smiling so daftly, a wave of excitement shooting suddenly through his body when he realizes Erwin’s messaged him.

“Hey Levi. I was wondering how the rest of your lovely quiet evening went?”

Levi has probably never been quicker at taking a shower as he is now, racing up the stairs, ignoring his mother’s yelling about “no running on the stairs, do you want to fucking kill yourself?!”

“Hey Erwin,” he’s typing, as soon as he jumps onto his bed underneath the roof, his hair still damp, and his heart still beating a little fast after touching himself under the shower just like he’d planned…

He’s still excited as fuck.

*

Erwin’s phone chimes the second he pops open the bottle of wine he had been meaning to drink the night before, still feeling a bit sleepy despite it already being in the middle of the afternoon. But he isn’t used to this anymore: partying. Staying out late at night. Coming home when the birds are already singing their song of morning. He’s too old for that kind of thing, he muses, pouring himself a glass of the Bordeaux, happy that tonight he will finally get to read that book he’d been waiting for all week to be published.

And he’s also looking forward to chatting with Rick, Damian, Tobias and… Levi.

Out of the four, Levi, as far as Erwin can tell, is the most interesting – and totally his type. Concerning the whole package.

Levi has dark hair, almost black. He’s slim and small, reaching only a height of 160 centimetres, as he provides in the personal details. Which makes him 30 centimetres shorter than Erwin. And the blond would probably be able to pick the boy up without any problems, press him against the wall for a sensual kiss or throw him over his shoulder to carry him to the bedroom – if they ever go this far and deep.

For now, Erwin is happy enough just talking to the youngster.

Though he really cannot deny his appealing looks, and he couldn’t stop staring at the picture taken of the boy’s naked upper body, completely free of hair, those beautiful petite, faint shapes of abs – visible but not quite there yet. The small chest, with two tiny, rosy buds, that Erwin’s hand would probably cover up completely if he placed his palm onto the porcelain skin, the firm but narrow thighs, the perky butt displayed on a picture portraying the boy’s lower body clad in tight black jeans.

There’s something else that makes Levi stand out in the group of young men Erwin is currently talking to: Levi is the youngest of them. Merely 17 years old. And he is adorable. Young, fresh, innocent – a virgin in every aspect according to his profile details – and so pleasant to talk to.

“Hey Erwin,” he reads Levi’s words, as he gets down onto the couch and puts the wine glass down onto the small table to his right, taking his phone into his hand instead, “my evening was great – my mum and uncle came home really late at night so I managed to have a midnight snack with no one judging me :D How was the boys’ night out?”

Erwin grins lightly. So they have something else in common, despite enjoying the peace and quiet of an empty house. “How could anyone ever be judgemental about a midnight snack?! It’s are the best meal of the day. Do tell: what did you have?”

“Something simple. You won’t probably like it with your exquisite tastes, you know, going out to eat at restaurants. French cuisine and shit.”

Levi’s answer makes Erwin chuckle lightly. “Sometimes simple food is the best food. And by the way: I don’t particularly like French food. My favourite is a good Italian pizza with lots of cheese ;-)"

The boy starts typing immediately. “I HAD PIZZA FOR MY MIDNIGHT SNACK!”

Erwin chuckles again, asking himself if Levi might be blushing or smiling brightly when typing this. “What kind?”

“The one with four types of cheese <3”

“Well guess what? Quattro formaggi is my favourite kind of pizza. Top 2: capricciosa. Top 3: pineapple and ham. Yours?”

Levi totally loses it at and makes fun of Erwin in an endearing way because of the pineapple – something he would “NEVER” put on the pizza, and then eventually reveals his own ranking. “Top 3: mushrooms. Top 2: salami. Top 1: quattro formaggi :D”

Erwin takes a sip of his wine, grinning lightly. He has no idea whether Levi’s telling the truth or whether he just made that up to please Erwin. Either way: It really is adorable. “You are a man of great taste, most definitely.”

“So… you gonna tell me about your night now? Or is it a secret?” Levi types after taking a bit of time to respond and Erwin wonders whether the boy needed that period to gather up a bit of courage to actually ask this.

“Sorry, I was so enthralled by the pizza I totally forgot about that!” he types his response quickly. “It was nice to be out with my best friend and the beer was really good. We talked a lot, played darts and pool, a bit of cards – but I stayed out way past my regular bed-time and I kind of feel that in my old bones… ;-) Tonight I am finally having that wine and reading my book. What about you?”

They talk for an hour again, about trivial stuff, for instance what kind of online games Levi is planning to play with Furlan as soon as his friend logs on, and what kind of pasta they like, what brand of beer they prefer, Levi not quite yet having enough experience to elaborate, but definitely stating that he hates vodka due to his first time drinking which was only two years ago. Erwin shares his first hangover-story willingly and makes Levi feel so much better already, as the youngster states, stuff like that, and Erwin finds himself concentrating on Levi while neglecting the other young gentleman – Tobias – online.

“Erwin, are you still there???? I was looking forward to tonight!” the 20-year-old asks, sending lots of pouty faces; and a picture of his hard cock resting in his hand. And even though it really is a nice dick, it does not faze Erwin, doesn’t get him excited in any way in that moment. Because for one, this is a cock that has already been served, while Levi’s hasn’t been touched by any other man, and for two… Talking to Levi is just so much more entertaining. Erwin can’t say why.

Or maybe he can.

Because the boy is so sincere, pure, angelic even. Absolutely cute, despite totally trying to play that “bad boy”-vibe on his profile with all those presumably “tough” pictures. But Erwin can see right through it – and he finds it charming.

He would be lying if he said he wasn’t thinking about having sex with Levi. Ultimately, this is what it’s about. But not yet. Because… It’s not what it’s all about.

Erwin doesn’t just sleep with any younger guy, and the way Tobias is starting to pester him with demanding messages right now because he didn’t like Erwin’s reply of being busy, he starts to believe that this one will not end up in his arms. Even though he wanted to be the first one for the 20-year-old to have proper sex with, to go all the way, beyond kissing and groping and quickly administered hand-jobs – but Tobias is starting to act out of order, suddenly telling Erwin that he has another guy who’d be there to do it with him, the young man just needing to snap his finger to make that happen. And thus, he is losing his allure.

Because suddenly it’s not about the act being becoming something special, valuable. And this is another thing that’s important to Erwin.

He’s a giver. He takes a lot, but he gives a lot too.

It’s an exchange. Not your typical sex-for-money thing, not your sugar daddy agreement, though he does like buying special young men gifts from time to time, loves inviting them to fancy dinners, loves seeing how their eyes shine when they see the pricey and exotic foods brought to their tables by waiters treating them with respect they haven’t gotten to know yet – and then take their first time.

But he also gives it to them, that first time. And not just any first time – but an exquisite one. Doing everything he can to provide them with an experience that doesn’t hurt, that is safe and consensual, that isn’t awkward but that actually feels good. Because he knows how to make men feel good, how to catapult them into seventh heaven, how to teach them about their own bodies, their lust, how he makes them lose their shyness and brings them to give into pleasure instead.

Erwin’s first time was a mess. He was unprepared. He had no idea what he was doing and neither did his partner. They never spoke again after that, couldn’t even look each other in the eyes. And it scarred Erwin in a way that made him promise himself to become the best lover possible.

The first time he slept with someone way younger than himself was when he was 26 years old. It wasn’t planned. He met Adrian, 16, at a party. And Adrian was instantly mesmerised by Erwin, even more when the blond told him about which gender he preferred. They ended up in Erwin’s apartment – and that’s where the boy suddenly turned beet-red, started feeling uncomfortable and confessed to this being his first encounter of that kind and that he was suffering a severe case of performance anxiety.

Erwin took that fear away. Because he knew exactly how Adrian was feeling. Actually, Erwin didn’t even want to sleep with him then. But Adrian did, after Erwin had calmed him down with gentle kisses and caresses, had told him beautiful things and that it would be totally fine if they just listened to music and held hands – he’d never been a man to force another human being into any not-desired situation, especially not sex.

But when Adrian got bolder and stated that he really wanted this – how could Erwin deny him?

He gave Adrian his all. Gave that boy what he hadn’t gotten – a pleasurable premiere. Made Adrian walk out his room in the morning with a big, satisfied smile, with a new confidence, a new self-perception instead of a guilty conscience, a huge portion of embarrassment and physical pain.

Erwin remembers the young man’s tender “thank you so much for this” even now, after all these years. Because it was the first moment of validation. A moment that showed Erwin that his efforts had paid off. All the reading about sexuality and sexual practises, all his experiments on his own body as well as the careful encounters he’d had after his deplorable first time with slightly older guys that had taught him a thing or two.

And after Adrian, Erwin knew that he was ready to become the teacher himself.

Also, the pure thought and act of taking someone’s virginity became sort of an addiction. Or maybe not even that. But over the course of years it became evident to Erwin that sex with inexperienced, younger people was the only thing that really turned him on and made him happy.

It was a win-win-situation, wasn’t it?

Boys experiencing sex as something wonderful from the beginning due to being with a considerate, experienced lover, and Erwin getting their first, untainted taste.

He wonders if he will be able to taste Levi someday.

He’s not gonna push it. Because he never does. He’s not a manipulator like so many other guys on this portal and others, out in real life. Erwin isn’t the type of guy to talk someone into sleeping with him. He isn’t the one making the choice – his partners do. The boys do. They have to make the first step – because they need to feel comfortable with him; just as much as Erwin needs to feel comfortable with them. They both need to have a connection, because it’s about so much more than just a physical attraction.

It’s not like Erwin’s looking for love. Especially not when the boy in question is merely 17 years old. He likes to be single, free, with all those beautiful options, even though it pains his father his son won’t settle down. But that’s not for Erwin. Not with his special tastes. But it’s not exactly something he can tell his father who is a high school teacher at that. But: He needs to feel a certain kind of… bond would be too heavy term to use. So Erwin will stick to saying “connection”; having things in common with the young man he likes, being able to hold a conversation, being attracted on a mental level. Yes, Erwin likes that term.

He will only agree to sleeping with his partner if he’s attracted to him on a physical and mental level, if the conversation is pleasant – if the boy truly wants to sleep with him. Only then. That’s why Erwin never makes the first step, won’t do so with Levi. But with this one, things have only just begun, and before even thinking about the first step towards making this sexual, flirtatious even, a certain amount of time will have to and needs to pass. Erwin knows, and he’s gonna wait as long as it takes, and he will enjoy that period.

Talking to Levi like that is fun. Refreshing. And if the boy decides against him at the end – he will accept that. Because he doesn’t push.

“How’s Snickers?” he asks.

“Happily munching on a leaf of lettuce,” Levi replies – and sends Erwin a picture of just that, making the blond man grin daftly, drinking a sip of wine as he replies with a heart emoticon. “Did you name it Snickers because you’re a fan of that chocolate bar?”

“Yes. Absolutely. I love the combination of peanuts and chocolate.”

“Me too,” Erwin writes back, smiling to himself due to another thing they share.

They continue to talk. That night. The days after.

Erwin ditches Tobias, who really found someone else to take his virginity very quickly after being ignored for just one evening by Erwin. But the blond doesn’t mind. Also stops talking to Rick, and Damian stops talking to him. Fair enough.

He has two new conversations going – but none of them compare to how he feels when he’s talking to Levi.

Erwin’s enthralled. The boy starts opening up more and more, and contacting him more frequently. Until it becomes sort of a daily thing with Levi and Erwin wishing each other a good morning, talking during lunch break, in the evenings. Basic stuff, chaste stuff, innocent messages.

Erwin learns that Levi is good at maths, basically any subject; that the boy is clever despite many of his peers believing otherwise. His mum, Kuchel, is a nurse, while his uncle Kenny is a construction worker. Levi’s dad is out of the picture, left the family when the black-haired was merely 3 years old. He learns that Levi loves to sleep in on the weekends. That he likes to go running and goes everywhere on his black mountain bike his uncle gave him for his birthday three years ago – which is on the first Christmas Day.

Erwin learns that Levi has two best friends: Furlan and Isabel, cousins who couldn’t be more different but who stick together. He learns that Kuchel got him Snickers for his tenth birthday. That Levi is doing his driver’s license. That he dreams of owning an old BMW. That the boy is slightly claustrophobic and that he is totally into rock and metal, a little bit of punk. His favourite colour is black. And, what most people don’t believe to be true, Levi likes to read. Mostly horror tales. Thrillers. True crime. Erwin recommends him some historical fiction about crimes committed in the 15th and 16th century – and Levi loves them, devours the pages, in fact.

And one day, a Friday late afternoon, just as Erwin leaves work, a message from Levi on the app plops up – and it makes Erwin smile.

“Do you want to swap phone numbers?”

Erwin does.