Archive of Our Own

[𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚎 #𝟶𝟾𝟸𝟸𝟷𝟽-𝟶𝟶𝟷𝟼: “𝚊𝚋𝚜𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎 𝚎𝚘𝚜 𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢”]

[𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝟹𝟷𝚜𝚝 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟽: 𝚍/𝚜𝚐𝚝. 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚕𝚎𝚏𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗, 𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜. 𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢, 𝚓𝚎𝚏𝚏 𝚏𝚊𝚋𝚛𝚎, 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠𝚎𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗. 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍, 𝚝𝚘𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚜 ◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼ ◼️◼️◼️◼️, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚞𝚗𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚗. 𝚒𝚏 𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚎𝚍, 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚌𝚝 ◼️◼️◼️-◼️◼️◼️. 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚟𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚎.]

Jirard wasn’t exactly new to this line of work; definitely not to this kind of assignment. He’d been an officer for years now, and searching out suspects and performing the occasional rescue could be considered his specialty. That wasn’t to say it ever got consistently easier, or that it didn’t still get under his skin when things went south, but he was used to it. He knew, at least generally, how these things went.

And yet with all that experience under his belt, he had no idea how this guy was still alive.

Detective Sergeant Austin Hargrave, Jirard had worked with him on a couple cases before. And he liked Austin, genuinely. From what little Jirard knew about him, he knew he could be a little scatterbrained at times, but Jirard admired his determination, how he managed to be so hard working yet still so casual, just a guy he felt like he could hang out with; how he had climbed the rankings somewhat worryingly fast, and yet miraculously evading the suffocating pressure such a thing would provoke. 

… Well, maybe the pressure had gotten to him by this point, but regardless; Jirard was already wondering how Austin remained so genuinely enthusiastic in the face of all they had to deal with, almost childlike, seeming so much younger despite Jirard only being a couple years older than him.

And now, he had to wonder- no, figure out what the hell had happened here. 

It had been just over half an hour since Austin left the station, the search warrant going out almost immediately. Apparently, someone reported a sighting, due west of the station near the docks, and Jirard rolled out with his team.

Not… necessarily his team, Officer Gill was technically his superior, and Jirard really should have remembered, but he had already forgotten most of the first names of the rookie-er officers accompanying him. But that really didn’t matter, what mattered was that he was there to do his job; to ensure Austin’s safety, but above all, to bring him in.

But despite his accompaniment of officers, looking at Austin made him feel… completely isolated, somehow. Disconnected. As if pulled into another world, a different dimension, that consisted of just the two of them and the decaying underside of this dock, complete with the waves crashing like thunderclaps against the shore and at Austin’s feet, the smell of rotting wood and sea salt, and something walking on the inch wide edge of death.

There Austin was, collapsed in the sand, soaking wet and shivering, just barely noticeable enough for Jirard to be sure he wasn’t dead. He would have likened him to a half drowned rat, but it seemed like he was a lot closer to fully drowned than half; a good 90%, without even being all that generous. 

And Jirard had seen dead bodies before, sure; it was rare in the grand scheme of things, but it was somewhat inevitable, in this line of work. He’d seen people turn into dead bodies, right in front of him, even. But this was different, maybe even scarier somehow, all the uncertainty of it, the fact that Austin was still alive when it seemed like he shouldn’t have been. Where there was once revulsion and shock horror at the sight of gore, all he felt in the moment was a strange, gnawing dread, deep in his stomach. Almost numbness, with all the questions of how and why and what the hell, dude buzzing around in his mind overwhelming him, his heartbeat pounding in his ears like a sinking ship breaking into pieces; that disconnect, he mentioned. 

He didn’t like the feeling one bit, but he needed to get to work if he wanted to escape it. If he didn’t want another dead body on his hands.

Jirard knelt down next to Austin, hands hovering over his body, taking a moment to figure out what to do. Austin was completely soaked, seeming to have dragged himself out of the water, or maybe… something else did? He certainly wasn’t in the best shape, seeming utterly exhausted, incapacitated to the point that Jirard couldn’t be sure if he was even capable of swimming, however long ago he washed ashore. His skin was pale, almost blue around the lips, clammy and freezing to the touch when Jirard laid a hand on his shoulder to push him onto his back. And somehow, despite those… distressing symptoms, Austin reacted to the touch, eyelashes fluttering, coughing weakly. 

“... Bloody hell,” came the voice of Officer Gill, standing almost menacingly over the two of them. 

Jirard huffed, grabbing Austin’s wrist and checking his pulse; still there, no surprise given that he was somehow still conscious, but as weak as would be expected from a victim of… Jesus, what even happened? Jirard slowly helped him upright, keeping one hand firmly on the back of Austin’s neck, murmuring some vaguely encouraging things that he could barely recall. Hey, it’s okay, don’t even worry about the fact that you just almost drowned, question mark?

“Well, don’t just stand there, call an ambulance,” Jirard snapped while still trying to soothe Austin, which wasn’t exactly the greatest combination. Austin wouldn’t fully come to his senses for quite some time, Jirard could tell, but he knew that he was being held upright somehow, coughing a bit harder and probably on the edge of vomiting. Which was good, that was exactly what Austin needed, but… a bit unpleasant, obviously. One of the officers on the edge of Jirard’s vision waved in response, pulling out his phone. 

“You’re sure?” Officer Gill cut through again, crossing his arms. “We’re ordered to bring him in as soon as possible.”

“Well, he’s no use to us dead, Shane.”

“Well, he’s not dead, look at him! Conscious and all.”

Jirard sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. The fact that Austin was conscious was great, but he just hated how careless Shane- oh, Officer Gill when they’re on the job- could be when it came to the wellbeing of their detainees. It wasn’t his area of expertise, obviously, so Jirard couldn’t blame him for too much, but…

“Are you kidding me? He’s freaking blue, Shane. You don’t mess around with near drownings!”

“Okay, you wanna give him CPR then?”

“You- You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Jirard growled, holding Austin a bit tighter as he seemed to have gained a little strength back, mumbling incoherently through gasps and coughs, something about “him.” That was good, but not particularly helpful. “He needs to at least get changed, he’ll get hypothermia at this rate, we don’t know how much water he swallowed and literally anything could have happened-”

“Okay, okay,” Shane conceded, gesturing vaguely at the other officers in a way of telling them to do something. He knelt down next to Jirard, snapping in front of Austin’s face, chuckling low in his throat when Jirard dragged his hand away. “… You’re right, not very responsive, is he?”

“Yes, very observant of you,” Jirard grumbled, pulling Austin slightly further away from Shane, prompting another heavy bout of coughing and seeming even more confused, pitifully so, eyes slowly flickering around the area and probably failing to understand any of it. 

“Hey, Hargrave. Buddy. You alright?” Shane barked, almost patronizing in the quality, although that was perhaps accounted for due to Austin’s whole… state. Shane waved his hand in front of Austin’s face again, receiving only a murmur somewhat adjacent to “huh?” and another bout of hacking his lungs out. He still wasn’t vomiting; Jirard wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. If he was being honest, he didn’t know as much about near-drowning first aid as he should have; definitely his weakest area, and he was pretty flustered for that very reason. But in his defense, it really freaked him out. Just the thought of drowning made him shudder, and he couldn’t think of anyone that it didn’t freak out. 

… Except Officer Gill, probably.

He kind of hoped Austin would vomit on Shane, but that still wouldn’t be totally fair; he didn’t know any better. 

“What do you think?”

“Hey, yeah, do you happen to know where your little friend went? The guy you were interviewing, then ran away with?” 

“Jesus, Shane, not the time.”

Austin hummed again in response, his head lolling to various sides; that was worrying, Jirard really hoped he didn’t have any kind of spinal injury. His eyes continued their journey back and forth, processing nothing and unable to focus on one thing. Jirard wondered what exactly he was seeing.

Shane sighed, as if he actually had his hopes up. “So, what, do we pick him up?”

“Oh- No, no, if he’s injured he needs to be kept stable, until the-”

Austin interrupted with some more jumbled mumbling, punctuated by more coughing and gasping. Jirard was pretty sure he was getting weaker again, even shivering less; that probably wasn’t good. All Jirard could really make out was “the water,” repeating several times.

“... The water?” Jirard repeated, looking over to Shane, who didn’t react much at all, remaining smug as always. 

“... That’s… an answer? Or, just an observation, I guess. Probably that,” Shane deadpanned, stifling a sigh and taking a moment to check around them again.

Jirard frowned, eyebrows furrowing. Austin was very much out of it, of course, and not acting rationally, but Jirard didn’t think he was just making an observation. They’d been here for some time, it seemed that Austin had at least some perception of the question, and he wasn’t even looking at the water, anyway. Was he trying to say that he, Jeff, the guy he freed and ran away with, was in the water? That… couldn’t be good. Was he still alive? Had he drowned? Were they supposed to be looking for his body, too? How did they even get to this point, where were they trying to go, what had even happened, and seriously, how was he still alive? Humans are tough, sure, and when the psyche is set on survival, it can be hard to take it down; but Jirard just couldn’t understand it. He couldn’t imagine a single scenario that led to this outcome that made any lick of sense.

Austin continued babbling, his already irregular and shaky breathing growing more forced, more fragile, as he thrashed in Jirard’s hold and tried to get closer to the sea, whether that was his real intention or not. That time, all Jirard could make out was “wait, no, my brother.”

“... Yeah, he’s delusional,” Shane sighed, sitting back and glancing over his shoulder at the officers. Jirard could hear the sirens in the distance, and they couldn’t come soon enough.

“How shocking,” Jirard replied, firmly keeping Austin in place. “But hey, don’t listen to him. It’s gonna be okay, Austin. You’ll be alright,” he murmured, staring daggers at Shane. 

“... Well, no he’s not. He’s under arrest.”

Jirard sighed harder than he’d ever sighed before, and he would have punched Shane if he wasn’t preoccupied with Austin.

“We’ll worry about that later.”

[𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚎 #𝟶𝟾𝟸𝟸𝟷𝟽-𝟶𝟶𝟷𝟼: “𝚊𝚋𝚜𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎 𝚎𝚘𝚜 𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢”]

[𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚜𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟷𝚜𝚝 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟽: 𝚍/𝚜𝚐𝚝. 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎, 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚒𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎.  𝚓𝚎𝚏𝚏 𝚏𝚊𝚋𝚛𝚎, 𝚜. 𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢, 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚢𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍. 𝚒𝚏 𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚎𝚍, 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚌𝚝 ◼️◼️◼️-◼️◼️◼️. 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚟𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚎.]

“Alright. You ready?”

“Let’s do it.”

Brooke grinned at the man across the table from her, still in his pajamas, hunched over his bowl of Fortuitous Conjurations. He had generously offered Brooke a bowl, but she refused; she was hungry only for answers.

She did, however, accept his generous offering of waffles, since he had already put them in the toaster. She picked it up, taking a bite out of it and swallowing, before pressing the record button on her tape recorder, holding it close to her mouth.

“Alright. Today’s date is September third, 2017, it is currently, uhhh- 11:46 A.M. My name is primary journalist Brooke Lawson, and I’m here interviewing Chad Bergström, concerning the case of the mysterious disappearance of the Absconde Eos underwater observatory-”

“Wow, thanks for reminding me, I totally forgot,” Chad scoffed, taking another bite of his cereal. Brooke rolled her eyes at him, silently grateful that she wasn’t recording video of this.

“You’re welcome. Now, just to get this out of the way real quick- the intent of this interview is to gain personal insight into the situation and the character of detective sergeant Austin Hargrave, to aid this case. My intent is to keep this recording mostly private, shared with the police department at my personal discretion, but if necessary, do you consent to the public release of this recording and your responses?”

Chad blinked slowly, giving him a look that told her he thought that this was absolutely ridiculous. Which, she couldn’t blame him for. He stirred his bowl of cereal with his spoon. “Yeah, sure. Whatever.”

Brooke stifled a laugh, exhaling heavily through her nose. “Great. Let’s get started. So, Chad, what w- is, your relationship with Austin Hargrave?”

“He’s my roommate. He lives here,” Chad replied sharply, gesturing to the walls around them. “Seriously, Dodger, uh- Couldn’t you just note this stuff later and not waste all your time and- all of your tape, too-”

“Hey, don’t- don’t call me that, ” Brooke hissed, holding the tape recorder away from her. “This literally only takes a minute, just let me do my thing.”

Chad sighed, chuckling and pinching the bridge of his nose, but didn’t say anything else. Brooke was sure that he had a hundred other things he could say, questions he could bring up like why she bothered using an actual tape recording and not something that would take up infinitely less space, or things he could tease her for, like the origin of the nickname Dodger; but at least for the moment, he seemed to have dropped it. Thank God.

“Okay. So, Austin is your roommate. How long have you known him?”

“Uhh, I think… two, three years now? We met when I was still in college, he was just starting in the police department, and he walked into the coffee shop I work at just- completely freaked out. Like, he was bug eyed and shaking and drenched from the rain, and- I don’t think it was his first crime scene or anything, he was just stressed out from… other personal stuff, I guess, so I got him a latte and a sandwich and just talked to him for a while, and… Yeah. He kept coming back, I started hanging out with him more, and then we moved in together. Been here for a little over a year now,” Chad explained, a fonder expression coming over him, smiling to himself. His smile was contagious, spreading to Brooke almost instantly.

“Aw… Would you say he’s always been open about his work?”

“Oh yeah, totally. He’s got… a lot of anxiety, y’know? Stresses out a ton over what he does, I’m not really… sure how or why he got into his job in all honesty, but it helps him to talk stuff out and vent. And he’s pretty talkative in general honestly, and what he does is cool, so I hear all about it.”

It was clear to Brooke that Chad really cared about Austin. She knew that before, of course; she had known Chad for quite a while as well, and had met Austin various times through the virtue of them being practically inseparable. Which really just made her feel bad about where this interview was going.

“Right. Even up until… recently?”

Chad’s smile dampened at the words; not even all that much, just becoming slightly less bright, but it still made Brooke’s heart ache. “... Well, yeah. Whenever he was… actually here.”

“... Right. Are you aware of, uh… What happened August 31st?”

“... I’m aware that he hasn’t been home since, obviously. The rest, uh… not really, no.”

Brooke took another bite of her waffle, shooting Chad what she thought was a semi-reassuring glance. “Right. Well, um… What happened was… on the 31st, Austin held an interview with a man named Jeff Fabre, he was the supervising officer at the observatory, worked there from the beginning right up until it… Yeah,” Brooke stammered, shaking her head to rid herself of the awkwardness that last sentence embodied. The look on Chad’s face at the mention of Jeff was strange, presumably having been some new information to him, as if he didn’t understand how such an interview could be possible. Brooke tried to tell herself not to worry about it, but she couldn’t help but notice that her hand holding the tape recorder was trembling.

“... Okay,” Chad signaled to go on, not seeming to agree with himself.

“And, uh… A little while later, Austin ended the interview before they were really done, and… just, kinda left the police station, bringing Jeff with him. Or Jeff was bringing him with him, we- we still don’t really know. And so, a little while later, Austin was found, and taken in again, but Jeff is still missing. And Austin’s been in custody since.”

Chad nodded along absentmindedly, still not seeming to be fully following along. He laid his cheek in his hand, staring at the table, clearly struggling to process the information. “... Found where?”

Brooke winced, biting the inside of her cheek. She was hoping she wouldn’t have to be the one to tell Chad about what… had happened, but she supposed she should have expected this. She didn’t have a choice, by that point.

 “Um… It wasn't too far west of here, by the shore, he was… found conscious, but nearly drowned,” Brooke murmured, the words weighing heavy on her tongue, and making it nearly impossible for her to lift her gaze enough to see Chad’s reaction.

But she didn’t need to; his feelings were clearly portrayed in his voice alone.

“W- He what?” Chad stammered, jolting the table. “I- Wh- Huh? Wh- Was anyone gonna tell me about that? Are you serious?”

“He’s fine, Chad, he’s alright. He’s safe and in good h-”

“I don’t- God, what the f- Jesus, I… How? Why? W- Was it an accident, or-”

“We don’t know. But he’s safe and recovering, and as soon as I find out more, I’ll let you know, alright?” Brooke promised, extending a hand across the table and closing it on top of Chad’s, rubbing his hand reassuringly with her palm. He sighed, giving another nod that didn’t really seem to mean anything at all. He ran a hand through his hair, then dragged it down his face.

“... Okay. But… God, wow.”

“I know. I’m sorry, but he’s alright,” Brooke repeated, desperately hoping that Chad believed her. “But, uh… Well, I was going to ask if you maybe… could think of any reason why he would desert the station like he did? But you don’t have to answer that if y-”

“Oh, gee, I don’t know, maybe giving him the case about his literal dead brother wasn’t the best idea?” Chad interjected, drawing his hand away from Brooke’s, a fire in his eyes that Brooke wasn’t prepared for in the slightest. Actually, she was pretty sure this was the angriest she had ever seen Chad, and she may have been undergoing some heart palpitations.

“Wh- Well, alright, hey. To be fair, Austin chose the case himself, and made it very clear that he wanted to be involved-”

“That’s not better! They shouldn’t have let him!” Chad interrupted, using one hand to take another bite of cereal, and the other to flail around in the air. “They- Wh- Out of everyone they could have done a thing like that to, he’s just… No, I just mean- Literally, in what situation is that ever okay?”

“You’re not wrong,” Brooke muttered, sinking back into her chair. “But, also worth mentioning I guess, it’s his missing brother. Could just as easily be alive as he could be dead.”

“I-” Chad stammered, then falling silent for a good five seconds, simply staring at Brooke in disbelief. “... Are you out of your mind?”

Brooke didn’t respond, the sharp words ripping through her chest like a harpoon. Any attempt at a response that could have formed within her was torn to shreds in an instant.

“I- Dude, I know what- Well, I don’t know, but I get the gist of what happened with the observatory. It was this big, complex scary thing, and it was there, underwater, and apparently something went wrong, and now it’s- it’s not where it’s supposed to be anymore, which is disturbing, but- whatever. My point is, y’know, ninety nine point nine percent chance, it’s still underwater. And I guess that one guy survived and got out, okay, I didn’t know that, but the others, I- How can you say that?” Chad exclaimed, his hands balled into fists on the table. “How can you act like there’s… hope, there? That’s… That just seems cruel.”

“Wh- Well… you’re not wrong, but-”

“But what?”

“But it’s not that simple. There’s still a lot of things we don’t know. That you don’t know,” Brooke shot back, but almost immediately regretted it. The rebuttal tasted bitter, left her chest feeling heavy, and made Chad give her that sad look again. The one that left her completely defenseless. She’d literally punched a guy over Chad’s sad face, once.

“... Brooke, I… I mean, I’d love if that were true, but I really just don’t think that’s… even possible,” Chad murmured, his shoulders slowly relaxing, staring at the table again. “... Y’know, I… I didn’t know them super well, I guess, but I’ve met Austin’s brother. And his friend, or- his boyfriend, I think- the other one, Dean. I’ve met them, they were nice. They all were, I’m sure. And just… it doesn’t help anyone to beat around the bush and act like this is about… anything other than what it is, which is the fact that they’re gone. Gone… horribly, and tragically, and it kinda makes me wanna throw myself out a window just thinking about what they must have felt, but... gone.”

Brooke couldn’t find anything to say for another long moment, could only stare in horror at what she had brought out of Chad. But slowly, she came to her senses.

“... I think we… we’re done here,” Brooke sighed, ending the recording with a click and gingerly laying the tape recorder on the table. She swallowed again, rubbing her shoulder with her newly free hand. “... I’m sorry.”

“... It’s fine,” Chad whispered in return, mirroring Brooke’s sigh. Wordlessly, he pushed out his chair and took his still partly full bowl of cereal to the sink. Brooke glanced at her half eaten waffle, now cold; she knew it would remain untouched. 

Many other things Brooke knew remained unsaid.

[>𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢]

[𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚎 #𝟶𝟾𝟸𝟸𝟷𝟽-𝟶𝟶𝟷𝟼: “𝚊𝚋𝚜𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎 𝚎𝚘𝚜 𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢”]

[𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚘: ... ]

[𝚜𝚞𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚒𝚍: 𝚒#𝟶𝟿𝟶𝟺𝟷𝟽-𝟶𝟻𝟺: 𝚊. 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎 (𝚜𝚐𝚝. 𝚍𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 ◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️ 𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚎, 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝟶𝟼/𝟸𝟹/𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟺)

𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎: ◼️◼️◼️ ◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼ ◼️◼️◼️, ◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️ 𝚠𝚊, ◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️

𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑: 𝟷𝟻 𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟶

𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎: 𝚌𝚎𝚕𝚕: (◼️◼️◼️) ◼️◼️◼️-◼️◼️◼️◼️-◼️◼️◼️◼️]

[𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠: 𝚜𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟸𝚗𝚍 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟽

𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠: ◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️ 𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚎

𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢: 𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚛 𝚓𝚒𝚛𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕 ( ◼️◼️◼️)

𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚍: 𝟿:𝟻𝟽:𝟶𝟹 𝚊.𝚖.

𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚕𝚞𝚍𝚎𝚍: 𝟷𝟶:𝟶𝟹:𝟶𝟾 𝚊.𝚖.

𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚝: 𝚗/𝚊

𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚋𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢: ◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️ ◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️]

[(𝚞/𝚒): 𝚞𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚎 

(𝚙𝚑): 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 

( [𝚎𝚡𝚊𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎] ): 𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚊 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚙𝚝]

[𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠]

[𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕 𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚘𝚛 𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚖. 𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚖𝚜 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚕𝚊𝚖. 𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚜, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎. 𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕 𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚞𝚗𝚒𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚖, 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚖 𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚞𝚊𝚕 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐.]

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚘𝚑- 𝚑𝚎𝚢. 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗.

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚞𝚑… 𝚑𝚒.

[𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚊 𝚜𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚊𝚌𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎. 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚍𝚊𝚣𝚎𝚍, 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎.]

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐?

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛, 𝚒 𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚜. 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚊 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠.

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝’𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍. 𝚘𝚑- 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕, 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚎, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚝.

[𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚝 𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕.]

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑. (𝚞/𝚒) 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚖.

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝’𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍. 𝚒’𝚖 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘- 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕, 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚜𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚗𝚍, 𝚞𝚑...

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚓𝚎𝚏𝚏?

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑. 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚗- 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍. 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠? 

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚒 𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚜.

 𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝. 𝚒𝚏- 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕, 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗, 𝚋𝚞𝚝- 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚙𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙, 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚎’𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚎, 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝?

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: (𝚞/𝚒) 𝚞𝚑, 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑. 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎.

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝. 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚏𝚏, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎. 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗.

[𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚜 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗, 𝚝𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝’𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚌𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎. 𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚝, 𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚖 𝚝𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕. 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚍𝚜.]

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝, 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢. 𝚜𝚘, 𝚞𝚖… 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕, 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚒 𝚙𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜… 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚎𝚠 𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚍𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛, 𝚒 𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚒 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚊𝚜𝚔? 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚊 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚛𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗, 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎. 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝟹𝟷𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑… 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑.

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢, 𝚜𝚘… 𝚑𝚎- 𝚒𝚝… 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠, 𝚠𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍… 𝚖𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍.

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚜𝚘?

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚑𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛. 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎, 𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎, 𝚒 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚒𝚖, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝- 𝚑𝚎-

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚘𝚑, 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚛.

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚕𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚔𝚒𝚗 𝚜𝚘 𝚋𝚊𝚍, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑. 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚠𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚏𝚝, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒… 𝚞𝚖…

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞?

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚞𝚖, 𝚗𝚘. 𝚑𝚎 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚒𝚖, 𝚊𝚗𝚍, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠... 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛.

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚠𝚊𝚒𝚝, 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢, 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎, 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎, 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚗𝚐?

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚒 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠. 𝚑𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎, 𝚒 𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚜. 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚕𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚢.

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚑𝚞𝚑.

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑. 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚘 𝚒 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎, 𝚊𝚗𝚍- 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚊𝚝 𝚞𝚜, 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎. 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚎 𝚔𝚎𝚙𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚐𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐, 𝚊𝚗𝚍… 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑, 𝚒 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚒 𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎. 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒 𝚠𝚘𝚔𝚎 𝚞𝚙 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚖𝚋𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎. 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐- 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎, 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 (𝚙𝚑) 𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍.

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐- 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚌𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚛 𝚐𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝?

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚞𝚑- 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝? 𝚗𝚘, 𝚒- 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎?

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑. 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎, 𝚞𝚑- 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚎, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚔𝚎. 𝚊𝚗𝚍-

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝?

[𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎’𝚜 𝚎𝚢𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗, 𝚓𝚎𝚛𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚝. 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚜𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚊𝚜𝚝.]

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚗𝚎𝚍. 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝-

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚘𝚑 𝚐𝚘𝚍, 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕? 𝚒 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚒 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝-

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚠𝚘𝚊𝚑- 𝚑𝚎𝚢, 𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗. 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢?

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚗- 𝚗𝚘, 𝚒- 𝚒 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕, 𝚒- (𝚞/𝚒)

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚑𝚎𝚢, 𝚑𝚎𝚢, 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚖 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗. 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎. 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝, 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚠-

[𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕 𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚌𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎’𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍, 𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚝 𝚊𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢.]

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚗𝚘, 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝, 𝚒- 𝚒 𝚜𝚊𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖. 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕?

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚒- 𝚠𝚑- (𝚞/𝚒) 𝚒𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝, 𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗. 𝚠𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎, 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝’𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚊 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚞𝚜, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢 𝚗𝚘𝚠. 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚏𝚎, 𝚠𝚎’𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞-

[𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚐𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚒𝚛, 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚜 𝚏𝚊𝚛 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕 𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚑𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚗.]

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝’𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒’𝚖 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚒- 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎. 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢- 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎, 𝚒 𝚜𝚊𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖-

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚜𝚊𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚘, 𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗?

[𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜.]

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛. 𝚊𝚗𝚍- 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖. 𝚓𝚎𝚏𝚏, 𝚊𝚗𝚍- 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚗, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛, 𝚊𝚗𝚍-

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝? 𝚒-  𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢, 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕, 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕.

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚗𝚘, 𝚒- 𝚒 𝚜𝚊𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖. 𝚒 𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚗𝚎𝚍, 𝚒- 𝚘𝚑 𝚐𝚘𝚍.

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚗𝚎𝚍, 𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗. 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢 𝚗𝚘𝚠.

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚒’𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖, 𝚊𝚖 𝚒?

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚒- 𝚒 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗, 𝚒’𝚍 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚗𝚘? 𝚒’𝚖 𝚏𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚠 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚍𝚎𝚕𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗, 𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚗, 𝚘𝚡𝚢𝚐𝚎𝚗 𝚍𝚎𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝, 𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚘𝚏 𝚎𝚡𝚑𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑.

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚗𝚘, 𝚒- 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚗’𝚝. 𝚒- 𝚒- 𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚔𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚎-

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚒’𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝- 𝚒- 𝚒’𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝. 𝚠𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍, 𝚒’𝚖 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢-

[𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚢𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚖𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚌 𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚊𝚌𝚔.]

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚑𝚎- 𝚘𝚑 𝚐𝚘𝚍. 𝚘𝚑 𝚐𝚘𝚍.

𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕: 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢? 𝚒’𝚕𝚕 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚊 𝚗𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎, 𝚒𝚏-

𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎: 𝚗𝚘, 𝚗𝚘, 𝚑𝚎- 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝. 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝, 𝚑𝚎- 𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚎. 𝚘𝚑 𝚐𝚘𝚍, 𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎. 𝚖𝚢- 𝚖𝚌𝚓𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜, 𝚑𝚎-

[𝚘. 𝚔𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚕 𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚊𝚒𝚍.]

[𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚕𝚞𝚍𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠]

“Alright, so- what the fuck is your problem?”

Mcjones flinched at the words, clenching his jaw and refusing to take his eyes off the stars. They were beautiful out here; in the middle of the damn ocean, from this little platform of driftwood they had claimed as their sort-of base. This was where they met, when they needed to speak privately, when the shore just wouldn’t do.

Mcjones was expecting this. He knew what he did would cause this reaction, he had known it and been preparing for it for the entire trip here from the shore. These things, he knew; but there was only so much that could do for him.

“Like- do you maybe wanna explain what your- I don’t know, your thought process was there? Do you understand how- how lucky we are to be alive, right now, and how this is our one job? Do you know how long it took me, completely on my own, to get from the shore, past everyone, to him, and then back? You’re fine with just ruining that?”

“Jeff-”

“No, tell me. What the hell did you even do?”

Mcjones swallowed, his gaze slowly falling to the pitch black waves below them, rocking the driftwood. He could still feel it, a strange lightness in his fingertips, a shiver rolling up and down his spine. He didn’t know what he did, but… whatever he did, it was definitely new.

When he saw Austin in the water, he… panicked, he supposed. Knew instantly that what they were doing was wrong, that they were wrong and were being used as pawns, and that he couldn’t let them do this. No matter the cost, be that the observer’s wrath, or just that of all of his friends, maybe even their lives if they were deemed not useful enough; he didn’t care. Supposedly, anyway. And he did… something.

They were watching Austin in one moment, dragging him down, and then unconscious the next, sinking limply. He really didn’t know what he did, or how he would be able to recreate it; but he figured it made enough sense that he would have some kind of water related superpowers, now, as absurd as that was to say. Technically, he already knew they did, given the fact that they were all existing in this state. Existing- Mcjones took issue with how Jeff said they were alive- underwater as they were, seemingly one with the ocean by that point. Probably more ocean than they were themselves.

He managed to drag Austin to the shore, but he wasn’t really able to tell if Austin was alright before he had to dive back under out of fear of being spotted. He was pretty sure Austin was alive, he hoped, he had to imagine Jeff wouldn’t be quite as mad if he had died in the end anyway; but he didn’t know. 

Then, once Jeff and the others had woken up from whatever Mcjones did to them, the two of them wordlessly agreed that they needed to talk.

And so, there they were. He wished that he could put Jeff to sleep again somehow, but he knew that wasn’t happening. He wished that any of the others would intervene, or moderate, or at least be there; but they weren’t. Mcjones could just feel Dean and Luke under him, and he was pretty sure Ian was there too, just in deeper. Lucah, he had no fucking idea where she was. But none of them were going to help. He had to imagine, they were probably kind of pissed too, if not just… scared.

“... I don’t know.”

Jeff huffed, kicking a leg into the water, staring off into the distance as well.

“... Alright. Do you have literally, anything else to say for yourself?”

Mcjones didn’t know what he was supposed to say, if anything.

“... This is all because he’s your brother, isn’t it?”

Mcjones felt his heart skip a beat. He wasn’t sure if his heart still worked, or if he even still had one after whatever transformation they had undergone, so that was certainly a development. He started to shake his head, but Jeff continued.

“No, hah- No, it is. You didn’t have to come with, y’know. If you’re not ready for this stuff, I’m not even gonna blame you for that, you can just hang back with the others. But you cannot pull shit like that again. This is what needs to be done.”

“Is it?” Mcjones interjected, grinding his teeth. 

“Yes. You know what the observer wants. We all do. You didn’t seem to have a problem until it turned out to be Austin.”

“Wh- Well-”

Jeff started laughing, light and airy, but still managing to freeze Mcjones’ bloodstream and turned it to lead. Mcjones felt that, knew that, he needed to get the fuck away from here, but he couldn’t find the strength to move. 

“You didn’t, don’t try to deny that. Don’t act like you’re so morally righteous, you’re just selfish.”

“I- What? Jeff, he was in pain!” Mcjones burst out, his voice straining. “Did- did you see the way he was thrashing? He was terrified, and I- I-”

“That’s how it’s gonna be, Mcjones. If you can’t handle it, then get out of the way,” Jeff deadpanned, the ghost of a smirk still on his face, but it was clear to Mcjones that he certainly wasn’t 100% enjoying this conversation. “Remember how we’re doing this for the observer? You’re really gonna doubt what it wants?”

The answer was obviously, a thousand times yes; but Mcjones couldn’t bring himself to say it. Maybe he was selfish.

“So, just… don’t try anything like that, ever again. You hear me? Even if you feel so personally attacked by it, and you have your own… what, personal reasons for not wanting your brother to join us, or whatever the fuck. For your own good, honestly. I don’t think the observer is gonna be super stoked about this.”

The guilt knotted in Mcjones’ stomach, like a sudden wave strong enough to throw him off the driftwood. Did… he, not want Austin around?

No, obviously not. Austin was in pain, and he panicked when he saw him. Like any normal, moral, non-observer affected person would be. There was nothing more to it than that.

Unless there was. Presumably, Austin would have become like them, in some form. And that was a whole other question, if he wanted that for anyone, which… he wasn’t sure. He didn’t… hate existing like this, he didn’t think. But he wasn’t sure, he knew he wasn’t thinking clearly. But was there actually a real reason he didn’t want Austin to stay? Not because their existence was stripped of purpose except for that of the observers wishes, or because they had no choice but to leave behind all that they had on land, but because he felt… guilty? For not being good enough?

No, no. What was he thinking? His own inner voice didn’t even sound like himself. It was too loud. Suffocating.

But what if it was? What if it was because he felt so guilty when he saw Austin, thinking about all the things he hadn’t told him when he had the chance, all the times he should have been there when he wasn’t, and decided to betray everyone. Oh, so wisely of him. Was it?

He didn’t know. His head was swimming, heavy and midnight dark. He didn’t know.

“... Can you not be such a damn coward, and at least give me a yes or no?”

Mcjones nodded, the word yes dying somewhere in his throat. He was grateful Jeff accepted it, because he had a feeling that no, he wouldn’t stop being such a damn coward. Selfish.

“... Okay,” Jeff sighed, and unceremoniously slid off the edge of the driftwood, disappearing into the waves.

Mcjones sat there for a moment longer, basking in the general overwhelmingness of everything; the incoherency of his own damn brain, his friends and what they thought of him now, the observer, the entire situation they had found themselves in. Just how much he didn’t know. Just how much this was going to rip him up inside, not knowing.

His head was still too loud and too much to really think clearly, but it occurred to him somewhat, just how dead they were. Just how much they couldn’t go back to the life they had before the flood, everything they’d left on land. Even what they had with each other, the connections they had.

He twisted the washer around his finger with his thumb, and he felt the need to mourn it.

Things would never be the same. They weren’t the same people they were before the flood, weren’t the same friends, weren’t the same lovers. Those people died. They were merely shells, now.

He was pretty sure he wasn’t getting married anymore. He’d have to talk to Dean. Maybe there was a chance, but… he didn’t know. He couldn’t think. 

But it did also occur to him, by his awareness of the endless darkness around him and the deafening, crowded sense of his thoughts, that he felt like he was drowning.

That he had never actually stopped.