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Twenty-eight young men bathe by the shore,
Twenty-eight young men and all so friendly;
Twenty-eight years of womanly life and all so lonesome.She owns the fine house by the rise of the bank,
She hides handsome and richly drest aft the blinds of the window.Which of the young men does she like the best?
Ah the homeliest of them is beautiful to her.Where are you off to, lady? for I see you,
You splash in the water there, yet stay stock still in your room.Dancing and laughing along the beach came the twenty-ninth bather,
The rest did not see her, but she saw them and loved them.The beards of the young men glisten’d with wet, it ran from their long hair,
Little streams pass’d all over their bodies.An unseen hand also pass’d over their bodies,
It descended tremblingly from their temples and ribs.The young men float on their backs, their white bellies bulge to the sun, they do not ask who seizes fast to them,
They do not know who puffs and declines with pendant and bending arch,
They do not think whom they souse with spray.
Sully closed the cover of the book and set it in his lap. “Whad’ya think?”
They were again seated on Michaela’s front porch with a small oil lamp for light and a dozing Wolf near their feet. The children had gone to bed and Michaela and Sully had taken this time to read some more of Walt Whitman’s poetry. Sully’s arm was draped over Michaela’s shoulders as he cuddled her to him.
“She was curious to see a man. She never had.” She looked up at Sully.
“Do you think she like what she saw?”
“I do. Very much.” Michaela looked away.
“I know we’ve talked a bit about this before, but are you curious about me?”
“I’ve seen men before ... you’ve seen plenty of women,” Michaela emphasized the word plenty in a playful way to show Sully she was feeling better about their previous talk about his past, “are you curious about me?”
“Michaela, I’ve wondered about what every inch of your body looks like. I’ve spent entire evenings daydreamin’ about every curve and valley, what you feel like, smell like…” Sully trailed off.
Michaela’s heart skipped a beat at Sully’s confession and her cheeks flushed. Entire evenings?
Sully continued, “But you didn’t answer my question. Are ya curious ‘bout me?”
“Well, I’ve seen you naked.” Michaela lifted her chin and looked directly at him. She said the statement with hopes to shock him.
“What?” The look on his face told her she had, indeed. “When?”
“When we cared for you after you were beaten by Rankin. I had to check you for injuries, and while you were still unconscious I had to bathe you and keep you comfortable.”
“And ya peeked?”
“It wasn’t peeking, exactly. I respected your privacy, but I had to look to some extent as your doctor.”
“And that was it? You looked as my doctor?”
“Well, honestly Sully I was so worried about you at the time, but I may have looked at you as more than just a patient -- looked and wondered.”
They were both silent for a moment.
“Well, that doesn’t count anyway. I mean, I was hurt … near death. You can’t really judge a man in that condition. It’ll look different.”
“Different how?” She had a pretty good idea of what Sully meant, but it was exciting to see him squirm for a change.
“You know. Bigger.” Sully shrugged his shoulders “Roused.”
“Oh.” Michaela’s memory flashed back to when Sully had been injured. In a desperate attempt to give either of them hope he would regain use of his legs, she had vigorously rubbed them to keep the circulation healthy. Sully had tugged his shirt down and crossed his arms protectively over his lap. Her eyes had caught his movement and quickly realized he was trying to cover some stirring. The doctor in her had been pleased to see the reaction because it meant there was less chance of a traumatic spinal injury. But the woman in her felt a flush spread over her cheeks in embarrassment. Matthew had performed all subsequent leg massages.
“Do you think the woman in the poem sees them roused?”
“Yes, if not at first, I think when she touches them. She…” Michaela trailed off. There was no way she could bring herself to say it.
“She does,” Sully looked down at the text again and repeated an earlier phrase, “They do not think whom they souse with spray.”
“He’s not writing about the ocean.” Michaela repeated the words she’d said to Sully on a different night.
“No, he’s not.” Sully smiled.
“It’s so shocking to read something like that. It makes me feel…”
Sully reached for her hand a gently kissed it. “I feel it too,” he said.
He slid his fingers into her hair and drew her to him until their lips met. His kiss was tentative at first, asking politely for entrance to her mouth. When she opened for him, the kiss deepened.
Michaela ran her fingers through Sully’s hair with one hand while her other caressed his side. She wanted him to touch her. She wanted to push their boundaries, but she feared that Sully would be too worried he’d scare her off and she wasn’t bold enough to say the words.
‘Touch me.’
She figured that would be all the encouragement he would need, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. She was embarrassed at how badly she wanted it. She would never suggest they anticipate their wedding vows, but just a little touching — a little exploring. They were engaged. In a few short months there would be nothing holding them back. She was so desperate to feel what it would be like to let him cup her breasts, or kiss her neck… The thoughts made her unconsciously push her breasts against him as she held tight to his waist. His mouth alternated sucking kisses to her lips with gentle touches of his tongue to hers. Each flick of his tongue caused little pulses between her legs where she felt hot and slippery. She moaned into his mouth and finally she felt Sully lose some of his resolve and slide his hand upward. She pulled him closer and he got bolder. His hand slid up and cupped her, kneading gently. The feeling was unlike anything she had felt before. The heat of his hand burned through the material and warmed her whole body. When he moved to stroke her nipple lightning shot straight to her core.
“Sully…” her voice was tense with desire.
Suddenly his hand, tongue, and lips were gone.
“Sorry, Michaela. I’m sorry.”
Michaela realized that he had misinterpreted the strain in her voice.
“It’s alright. I liked it. I didn’t mean for you to stop.”
“You didn’t?” He looked happy. “But still. I shouldn’t push you.”
“You didn’t. I wanted to. I … I just couldn’t find the words to ask.”
“You can ask me. Nothin’ is off limits. This is our private time.”
“Sully, do you think … I mean, would it be too hard for you if we did a little more of that?”
Sully huffed out a laugh and smiled. “Uhhh…”
Michaela’s cheeks burned with embarrassment over her unintended double entendre, but she couldn’t help but smile at how cute and sheepish he looked.
“You know what I mean.”
“No, it wouldn’t be too hard. I can handle it.”
Sully leaned in to kiss her again and Michaela immediately brought her arms up around his neck. Sully’s hand went back to her breast and gently played with her nipple. Her skin puckered and stiffened under his fingers. Michaela squeezed her thighs together at the sensations he was causing. She had never felt anything so arousing.
“May I unbutton your blouse a little bit?” Sully’s breathless tone cut through her haze.
“What if one of the children comes looking for us?”
“They're asleep, and it’s dark except for our lamp. Plus Wolf will hear anyone stirrin’ and give us warning.” Sully notioned to the sleeping dog at their feet.
Michaela nodded and reached for her top button. “We are engaged.” She said and shrugged her shoulders as if to reassure herself. She felt excited and absolutely sinful.
Sully stopped her hand. “No, let me.”
He unbuttoned her blouse until he reached just below her breasts. Beneath the open shirt was a closed camisole covering her to just above where her cleavage started.
“May I?” He indicated to the top button on her camisole.
“Sully… I just don’t want us to get carried away.”
“We won’t. I promise. Just this. I won’t ask for anything else.”
Michaela nodded and Sully continued relieving her of her camisole. His hands were a little shaky and it reminded Michaela of the first time he had worked the buttons on her shirt.”
Michaela giggled and Sully looked up. “What’s so funny?” he asked.
“I was just remembering the time you helped me button up my shirt. I was so worried about you seeing me in my under clothes and now look at us.”
“I was just about this nervous too.”
“But you’ve done this before. Why are you nervous.”
“I ain’t never done this before with you, Michaela. I’m nervous to get to touch you.”
When the buttons were open enough to give him access to her breasts he spread the material on one side enough to reveal most of the round flesh and a peek at her nipple.
Michaela looked up at the tops of the trees. It was a clear, cool night. She couldn’t look down or she would lose her nerve, but she also couldn’t bear to look at his face.
Sully was quiet.
“They’re small.” Michaela said softly. She had always been self conscious about her size. She didn’t know what Sully liked, but she knew most men preferred larger breasts if random conversations she had heard over the years were any indication. She hoped he wasn’t disappointed.
“You’re beautiful.”
Sully reached under and scooped a breast out of her camisole. He kneaded the soft skin. Michaela felt dizzy with arousal. Feeling the heat of his hand on her bare skin was extraordinary. Sully worried her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Michaela was embarrassed by how erect her skin was there, but the soft growl Sully breathed into her neck showed her just how much he enjoyed her response.
“Kiss me.” He requested.
They kissed while Sully continued to play with her breast. One of Michaela’s hands dropped to Sully’s lap and tentatively caressed the buckskin leather covering his thigh, inching a little higher to where his legs met with each sweep. She felt heavy and wet between her legs. What had started as a tingle was now sporadic pulses as her muscles clenched and released with arousal. If he took her now, her body would be ready.
Sully broke their kiss. “Don’t wanna make the other one jealous,” he joked as he pushed the material out of the way and turned his attention to her other breast. Michaela looked at him for the first time. Sully licked his lips and swallowed. His eyes were focused on the skin underneath his hand. She’d never seen the look on his face before and realized it was because she had never seen a fully-aroused Sully before. He looked like he wanted to devour her. She was touched by his restraint and realized that she felt completely safe in his presence like this. There was no doubt in her mind that he would respect her boundaries.
He looked up at her. “We should stop,” he said.
Michaela knew he was right. She knew they couldn’t keep this up without giving in to their needs. She had not waited 37 years only to lose all control the front porch with her children in the next room.
But she wasn’t ready to stop just yet.
“Sully...”
“You want to see me.”
Michaela nodded.
“We should…” Sully tilted his head in the direction of her open blouse and camisole. “In case one of the kids needs us, it’s best only one of us has to put their clothes back on.”
Michaela looked down at herself for the first time.
Sully leaned over and kissed the tops of each of her breasts. “I’m going to miss them.”
Michaela giggled and moved to quickly rebutton her underclothes and shirt.
Sully’s eyes never left Michaela’s hands until every button was refastened.
Then she watched as he untied and pulled down the front of his pants. Michaela caught the light reflecting off a thin string of wetness bridged between where the material had been touching his skin and the tip of his penis.
“Sorry.” Sully blushed as he noticed it too. He quickly took himself in his hand and wiped the tip off with the base of his other before wiping it on his leg.
Michaela was filled with wonder at how casually he handled himself in her presence. As new as this was to them, he had an easiness around her.
“It’s not. I didn’t.” Sully stammered. “It’s just pre-excitement.”
“I know. I *am* a doctor.” She smiled at him.
“Have you seen a man’s seed before?” He seemed genuinely curious.
“Only in a glass dish.” At Sully’s confused face, Michaela added, “We observed spermatozoa under a microscope in medical school.”
That seemed to appease him enough and Sully scooted down in his chair a bit so he was reclining. He moved his hands to rest under his thighs and Michaela was touched by how much he wanted her to know she was in control.
His eyes met her face as her eyes stared at his straining flesh. It pulsed and she looked up at him.
“He’s just excited.” She could see he was a bit embarrassed to be on display.
“He?” she teased.
“Well, yeah.” Sully blushed.
Michaela turned her head to glance back into the homestead. No one was stirring inside.
She focused her attention back on Sully. “Is it uncomfortable? Like that?”
“No, not really. If it stays like this, without,” he shrugged his shoulders instead of saying the words, “it’ll ache a bit, but nothin’ serious.”
“Oh…” Michaela was both fascinated and frightened by the sight before her. It did, indeed, look different. Sully’s penis was thick and long and jutted proudly from a patch of wiry brown hair. The shaft had a slight upward curve and the delicate skin at the tip was stretched so tightly with excitement that it appeared shiny in the dim light of their oil lamp. His testicles rested on his thighs and Michaela watched as one drew up into Sully’s groin as his flesh pulsed again.
“Tell me what you’re thinkin’, Michaela.”
Michaela swallowed. She couldn’t meet his eyes. “I’m thinking that I don’t know how on earth that will fit inside of me.” Her face burned with embarrassment and her eyes welled. She felt so foolish to be this inexperienced when he wasn’t.
Sully quickly sat up and pulled his shirt back down to cover himself. He reached for Michaela and drew her into his arms.
“It will. We’ll take it real slow and I’ll do my best to make sure you’re ready.” Sully cupped her face and pulled back to look her in the eyes. “The first time will be uncomfortable, but Michaela I will never willingly hurt you.”
Michaela nodded at him and blinked.
“Will you lie back again?” She asked shyly.
“Yeah.” Sully reclined and pulled his shirt up and out of the way.
His stomach was taut and lean. Michaela never really understood the appeal of seeing a man naked before, but she couldn’t deny that seeing him was arousing -- even if a bit laced with fear.
“Do you want to touch me?” he asked.
“May I?”
“Yeah. A little bit. Honestly, I don’t know how much I can handle.”
She didn’t immediately reach for him, choosing instead to run her fingers through the line of hair that started at his belly button and got thicker as it trailed down. He inhaled and sucked in his belly at her touch.
“Does that tickle?” She grinned at him.
“A little, but it feels good.”
She repeated the same movement again and this time her hand brushed the tip of his eager penis, a bit of wetness trailing her finger.
Michaela reached out and gently caressed his length. The delicate veins that intertwined up his length slipped beneath her fingers. Sully exhaled slowly and Michaela glanced up at him to see his eyes hooded with desire.
“Is this alright?”
“Yes. It’s very alright.”
She got bolder and encircled his shaft with her hand, her thumb slowly exploring the divit that divided his engorged tip.
“The skin is so soft.”
“Mhmmm,” was the only sound that emerged from his tight lips.
Michaela continued to look at the appendage in her hand. It didn’t look quite as intimidating as it had a moment ago. She could see he was vulnerable under her touch. A fresh bead of clear fluid slipped from the tip and dripped onto her forefinger that was resting beneath the head. She nudged the wetness and used it to slicken her grip, her forefinger now gliding effortless between the ridge of his tip and the shaft.
Michaela looked up to Sully’s face just in time to see him tip his head back and let his mouth go slack as a sigh of pleasure escaped his lips. Her movements were timid and inexperienced, but he seemed to be enjoying it.
Slickness spread to her other fingers and she added a stroking motion up and down.
“Am I doing it right?”
“Yeah.” Sully huffed. His hands were tight fists at his side.
Michaela looked back down at this new extension of Sully she’d never known before. This is what he looked like fully aroused. She was still quite nervous, but she wasn’t afraid of him. She was also aroused and excited over the idea of exploring more.
She continued her strokes until suddenly Sully sat up and grabbed her hand with both of his and pulled her away from him.
“We’ve gotta stop.” He was breathing heavily and she noticed a thin sheen of sweat on his brow. Sully kissed her hands. “Michaela, bein’ like this with you… it’s more powerful than anything I’ve ever felt before. I can’t wait for our wedding night.”
Michaela didn’t want to stop. As frightened as she was about the unknown, she wanted to explore more. Maybe just this. Maybe she could let him have the release he obviously so desperately needed.
“Sully…”
Wolf suddenly jumped up at their feet and headed to the front door just as “Ma?” drifted out the open window.
The spell was broken.
“I’ll be right there, Brian!” Michaela exclaimed.
Sully quickly tugged his buckskins back into place as Michaela hurried to the door. He turned just in time to see her do the same and look back at him.
“I’ll wait for you to come back.” He said.
“No. It’s alright. It’s late. I should get to bed and … I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to be alone together anymore tonight.
Sully nodded and looked down at the ground.
“Goodnight, Sully.”
“Goodnight.” With his clothes properly back in place, Sully closed the distance between them and gave her a kiss on her cheek before he headed to the steps.
“Sully, wait.” Michaela stopped at her front door. “I’m excited too … for our wedding night.”
Sully smiled before he turned away and said to Wolf. “Come ‘on, boy.”