Chapter Text
Prince Valtteri of Finland wasn’t quite sure how people had started to call him “Princess Valtteri”. He was pretty muscular and his wide head wasn’t feminine in the slightest. Not to mention that he barely had any hair and was going bald at an alarming rate. And even then his distant relative Prince Nico looked a lot more like a princess. Nico was gorgeous and Valtteri felt quite threatened by him. And boy, didn’t Nico know it. The German prince showed up every summer, loitering around, doing photoshoots and most importantly laughing at Valtteri, who had to spend most of his time preparing to lead the kingdom once his father stepped down. That meant studying etiquette, politics, diplomacy, finances and an endless list of other boring subjects. The worst must have been the dancing lessons. Nico had happened to be around and the teacher felt like Nico would be a good dance partner for him. Valtteri had been so shocked that he messed up his steps, stomped on Nico’s toes and ended up landing on his ass when he fell down. He had broken his tailbone and winced every time he sat down for a month. Nico had teased him relentlessly for that.
And now, now Nico had somehow gotten into racing. Money and princehood had opened doors to him very quickly. Even worse, the royal advisor, Keke, was Nico’s father and the man had convinced King Mika that Valtteri should show up at one of the races and meet some influential people. Somehow that meant hanging around oil sheiks, oligarchs and other such shady characters. He had expected to at least spend time with the drivers or team bosses, maybe CEO’s. But that was Nico’s life. Valtteri’s life included breakfast with Vladimir Putin. He did understand that it was important to get to know the leader of the neighboring country, but meeting a man that smart was unnerving before having his morning coffee. At least his new bodyguard wasn’t into dick measuring contests so he avoided that particular awkward moment at the beginning of the meeting.
“Now that you have done the breakfast, you have interviews until your lunch with other royals, including the prince of-”
Valtteri sighed and tuned out of the royal protocol manager’s constant chattering. Heikki was nice enough, but Valtteri would prefer some me-time. Unfortunately, achieving that would have been hard with a bodyguard and protocol manager with him at all times during these trips. Well he didn’t mind the bodyguard. Kimi had said about three words during their time together and the guy’s presence was easy to forget.
“- and then there’s the time to meet fans and, what was it,” Heikki got silent as he thought about the last event before dinner. Valtteri secretly hoped there wouldn’t be any, but that was pretty unprinceful behavior and he kept the thought to himself. Heikki snapped his fingers.
“Oh yes, I almost forgot! Nico’s team wants you to do an interview with him and a quick photoshoot after that and then it’s time for the dinner with CEO’s of local companies and then we can go through tomorrow’s agenda!”
Valtteri deflated. A public thing with Nico? That was going to end so badly.
Nicko hug tackled Valtteri not too long before they were due to show up before the cameras.
“I’m so glad you came, Princess!” Nico said and smiled at him. Valtteri showed his tongue in response.
“Why are you calling him Princess?” a person Valtteri hadn’t noticed before but who must have come with Nico asked. He was pretty handsome, dark skin, curly black hair and mirrored sunglasses. Nico’s grin widened.
“Lewis, meet His Royal Highness Valtteri, the crown Princess of Finland. Princess, meet Lewis, my best friend!” Nico introduced them and they shook hands awkwardly.
“Nice to meet you. Are you really a princess?” Lewis said and smiled at Valtteri who blushed bright pink and muttered something resembling a no.
“It’s a funny story actually,” Nico chimed in and Valtteri wanted to sink below ground.
“So he was like 19 and there was this big garden party. Valtteri might have gotten a bit too drunk and got lost in the hedge labyrinth. When he came back his shoes, and actually socks too now that I think about it were gone,” Nico told Lewis, smiling devilishly. “Well his dad, that’s King Mika, obviously wasn’t happy about the thought of his precious prince walking around the party where there could have been broken glass and whatnot around so he ordered Valtteri’s bodyguard to carry him around like a princess.”
Valtteri’s pink color had turned into a bright red by now.
“And that’s where the name came and he has been stuck with it ever since,” Nico finished, but then felt the need to add the last bit of humiliating information. “Oh and his bodyguard was like three inches shorter than him so it wasn’t even that graceful.”
Nico tapped on his phone for a bit and presumably showed a photo of the event to Lewis since they both burst out laughing.
They had gone clubbing after the race. Nico claimed he didn’t go after every weekend, that with Valtteri it was a special occasion. The way Nico knew his way around the club suggested otherwise. Valtteri had stayed pretty sober ever since the garden party, but now Nico had clearly talked him into taking more than he could stomach. He wasn’t quite sure how, could he really have drank this much? Nico seemed to be just as drunk though, it helped a little. Eventually Kimi practically carried both of them outside to get some fresh air. Valtteri assumed the very sensual dance Nico had performed in front of Kimi had something to do with it. Suddenly Kimi released his hold of Valtteri, jumping backwards.
“My shoes!” the bodyguard yelled before getting hold of his cool character again and sighing.
“With due respect, Prince Nico, I think it’s time to get you back to your hotel. I’ll go catch a cab.”
Valtteri leaned heavily against a lamp post, trying to focus his eyes on Nico, who was sitting next to a pool of vomit on the sidewalk. He could feel himself sliding down the lamp post and his eyes closing.
“Valtteri! Wake up!”
Valtteri was surprised to wake up lying on the floor with Nico leaning over him, looking pale after last night’s drinking. Valtteri knew he probably didn’t look any better and Nico had only woken up before him thanks to throwing up the last three shots or so. Valtteri was slowly becoming aware of the hard and cold concrete floor he was lying on and the aching in his back lying on it had caused. Usually Kimi wouldn’t let him sleep like that so he proceeded into the next logical step. He pulled himself into an upright position, headbutting Nico in the process and then both swearing as the pain shot through their heads. Valtteri blinked away the tears, trying to see where his bodyguard was gone. Instead all he saw was an empty, dark concrete room, lit only with one depressing old lightbulb.
“Nico!” he whispered angrily. “Did you get us arrested?”
Nico tried to look offended but missed by a mile.
“No! This is not what drunk cells look like around here,” Nico answered.
“Sounds like you have a lot of experience for someone who doesn’t go clubbing often.”
“I had to bail Lewis out more than once,” Nico said, rolling his eyes unconvincingly.
“Sure you did. I’ll ask Keke when we get out.”
“Don’t you dare-” Nico began.
“Get away from the door, coming in,” someone yelled from the other side of the door.
Both crawled a little further away and the door opened. The man stepping inside wasn’t from the police.