Chapter Text
Darcy frowned as she reread the invitation for the fifth time. The words were crisp back calligraphy on lovely cream vellum paper. She brought it to her nose. It was even scented. They really had not spared any expense. Not that she expected any less. If that hadn’t changed in ten years, she doubted anything else had, which caused her expression to deepen further.
“What’s that?” Jane called as she looked up briefly from where she was trying to tinker with her latest gadget.
“Oh, nothing,” Darcy said absent-mindedly as she started to chew on her bottom lip in contemplation.
“Sure, doesn’t look like nothing the way you’re staring at it,” the astrophysicist replied as she hit the machine with her wrench.
The former intern looked up with a start. She had forgotten that sometimes Jane had bouts of awareness of her surroundings from time to time in her whirlwind of sciencing. And of fucking course, now would be one of those times.
Darcy briefly considered lying or trying to change the subject, but she could tell from the gleam in Jane’s eyes she isn’t going to let this go easily. Better to give up this fight now. “It’s an invitation to my high school reunion,” she sighed, rubbing her fingers against her temple. She could just feel a headache forming already. One that could only treated with margaritas and tacos.
Her former boss perked up at the news. “Really? You should go!” she chirped as she turned the machine off and back on. It made an ominous clanking noise and belched out a cloud of black smoke.
“Ha! Last, I checked I wasn’t a masochist. So why would I subject myself to such cruel punishment?” She was already crumpling up the invitation in her hand and preparing to chunk it in the garbage like she should have done ten minutes ago.
“Because it will be fun!” Jane said in a cheerful voice as she opened up a panel and coughed as more smoke poured out.
Darcy snorted bitterly. “If you define fun as pain and torture. Then yeah, it will be a barrel of fucking monkeys. Did you even go to yours?” The last part came out skeptically. Jane was pretty and smart, but Darcy had a hard time imagining her as anything other than the geeky girl who probably wore Coke bottle glasses and head-gear braces. And that was long before being a nerd was cool.
The petite scientist hummed from behind the safety of her machine for a moment before answering sheepishly, “No, but-” at this point she bounced up from her crouch like a Jack-in-the-box, “I wish I had!” She admonished Darcy with a heavy swing of her wrench, a streak of grease across her forehead.
“Why? Did you actually like those people?” Darcy asked incredulously.
Jane shrugged. “Not really, but I wish I had gone just to see what everyone was up to and maybe just to prove that I wasn’t the same person as I was then. To show them what I had accomplished.”
“Dude, but you actually accomplished stuff,” Darcy said pitifully as she tossed the letter in the trash finally.
“And you haven’t?” Jane said in an exasperated tone. “Darcy Marie Lewis, don’t you doubt yourself. You’ve done plenty.”
“Like what? Gotten a bachelor’s in a useless field?” She leaned heavily against the side of a lab table.
Jane rounded on her from behind the machine and planted both hands firmly on her shoulders. “You’ve helped with my research on spanning the gap between dimensions. You’ve helped save the world from space elves. You’re a certified Agent of SHIELD, and you’ve seen Captain America and Thor shirtless numerous times in the same room. How many women can say that?”
Her mouth pulled up into a reluctant smile as she rolled her eyes. “I guess when you put it that way I am pretty awesome.”
The scientist’s fingers flexed comfortingly on her shoulders. “Good. Now, I want you to go to that high school reunion, and show all of those jerks just what you’re made of.”
“But I can’t tell them all of that,” Darcy said as the realization dawned on her that all of her super-heroey stuff was highly classified and any reveal of it would result in felony charges and some serious jail time.
Jane tutted. “I’m disappointed in you, Darce. The answer is obvious.”
“Huh?” she asked, brain stalling out.
“Make it up,” the older woman said as a smirk curved her lips.
***
Darcy drummed her fingers on her desk as she mulled over Jane’s idea. It was brilliant in its simplicity and sneakiness. She was surprised her former boss was even capable of such direct thinking. Usually, Jane’s solutions to problems were convoluted and involved insane amounts of calculus. This was incredibly devious and easy, and Darcy loved it. After all, if they hadn’t seen her in ten years how would they know what she had accomplished? It wasn’t like she had kept in touch with anyone from high school. As soon as she had gotten her diploma, Darcy had booked a plane ticket to her out-of-state undergrad and never looked back.
Still, there was the issue of how far to take it. In this case, truth would have to be stranger than fiction. If she went too extreme they would know she was lying, but she wanted to make a statement. A statement that preferably conveyed the message of “I’m better than all of you douches so suck it!” but with a teensy bit of class. Just a light sprinkling to show she wasn’t living up to her trailer trash roots.
Of course, all of this hinged on finding the perfect date. Darcy considered herself to be a strong independent woman who was perfectly fine going it alone, but it was a matter of pride for her former classmates. Most of them were married or engaged by now. Some of them several times over. No, her being single fed too much into the old Darcy, the chubby girl who only ever caught the eye of a guy if he needed help with an English or history paper. Her fingers stilled at the old memories, curling into a quiet fist. There was no way she was going if she had to relive those experiences.
So she briefly considered her options. Her relationship with Ian had been over for years, and her lovelife had been pretty DOA since then. Being an agent of a highly secretive government organization wasn’t exactly conducive to dating. She wasn’t even sure if she was still allowed to date civvies despite the fact that SHIELD was officially disbanded. The last thing she needed was her date passing out cold from a sedative dart to the neck or getting personally interrogated by Romanoff.
So that left whoever was currently occupying the Avengers brand-spanking new headquarters with her at the moment. Her fingers resumed their drumming. Tony was out of the question obviously. Steve was still MIA and way too obvious. Sam was on the run, and besides, he had that weird flirtationship going with Maria Hill. Rhodey would never agree to it. Dr. Banner would probably die of embarrassment and sheer awkwardness the moment he stepped through the door. There was the possibility of Dr. Strange, but God, that fucking goatee. The thought alone made her want to get out the razor. Thor had recently arrived at the compound, but a haircut and the loss of one eye didn’t change his recognizability. Maybe that new guy who had showed up with him? What was his name again? Peter? But he went by some stupid nickname like Star Wort or something like that. She shook her head. He was cute, but entirely too goofy for her purposes. Jesus H. Christ, she wasn’t about to bring a date who would insist she refer to him by some made up title.
She had gone to a rich artsy-fartsy high school. She needed someone sauve with class who could be both charming and a grade-A asshole in the same turn of phrase. Someone who wasn’t instantly recognizable. He had to be hot too. Abso-fucking-lutely smoking.
Her fingers went still as a thought occurred to her.
That really only left one person. Goddammit.
***
He wasn’t hard to find, given that he mostly occupied the lounge in order to make himself as conspicuous as possible. The little shit loved to make himself seen in order to rile everyone up that he could. There had been more than a few assassination attempts. Luckily or rather unluckily for Darcy, he was notoriously hard to kill.
When she found him, he was sprawled across the couch reading a book in an alien language. Darcy recognized it from her recent translations on ancient Aldonian texts.
“Love in the Great Beyond? Really?” she snorted as she stood in front of him with her arms crossed over her chest, a power stance she had picked up from Natasha.
If he was insulted, he didn’t show it. Not even a lift of an eyebrow as he turned the page. “I wouldn’t expect you to appreciate the subtleties of extraterrestrial poetry,” he drawled with a sniff as he settled himself more deeply into the couch.
“Excuse me, Snape. I didn’t expect you to appreciate the subtleties of anything that didn’t involve world domination and murder,” she quipped, hating herself the moment the words were out of her mouth. Good job, big mouth, she thought to herself. Insulting him wasn’t going to earn her his help, and she desperately wanted it. Seeing him like that with one foot resting on the floor and the other long leg thrown over the arm of the couch, Darcy couldn’t deny he was the perfect choice. Even sitting around in Stark brand sweatpants and t-shirt Loki screamed elegance in the long lines of his body. Darcy was lucky to look presentable on most days.
“I have no idea who this Snape character is, but I can only assume that he is incredibly charming and handsome since you are at the least third person to refer to me as him.” He gave her a toothy grin.
She couldn’t help herself as she mirrored his expression. Fuck, but he could a charm a snake out of its skin. Actually, he probably had come to think of it. “You’ll just have to read the books sometime in order to find out. That is if Midgardian literature isn’t beneath, Your Highness.” She dropped into a mocking curtsy for emphasis.
Loki cocked his head to the side and studied her as she rose to her full height once more. His expression had gone from joking to more . . . calculating. She felt slightly queasy as his eyes swept over her again. “I will highly consider it if it elicits that response from you.”
Darcy resisted the urge to choke, but she could feel the blush creep up from her neck to her cheeks. Here was her opening. She couldn’t waste it by acting like some teenage girl meeting her favorite boy band, despite the fact that her heart was racing and her palms were sweaty. “What if there was another way to earn my gratitude, Space Viking?”
His face lit with sudden understanding as he snapped the book shut. “There it is. I knew you hadn’t come here for the sole pleasure of my company.” Loki repositioned himself until he was sitting on the edge of the couch with those long-fingered hands clasped between his legs.
“Why do I have the feeling no one really comes here for that?” Dammit, Darcy, keep your mouth shut! She just couldn’t help herself. Her mouth naturally had a mind of its own, but she lost any semblance of control she had when faced with his smirking, arrogant face that she wanted to punch and kiss at the same time.
“You wound me,” he said as he pressed a hand to his chest. “Here I thought I was getting along spectacularly with the rest of the prisoners-I mean guests in the compound.”
“I’m sure it hurt both of your feelings,” she responded, earning a surprised look from him followed by a laugh.
“Touche. Now what is the purpose of this visit?” His eyes narrowed in suspicion as the cogs of his devious mind began to work. She knew he was considering a number of things. Blackmail? Bribery? Murder even.
With his renewed scrutiny upon her, Darcy felt her nerves starting to get the better of her. This was a stupid idea anyways. She didn’t even want to go to the stupid high school reunion, and there was so much work to catch up on. She had dozens of alien texts that needed translating with the impending arrival of Thanos and . . . .No. I am going to go to that stupid-ass reunion, and I am going to prove to those fuckers once and for all that I am not just the DUFF or a loser. This might be my last chance before the world ends, she berated herself as she forced herself to walk towards him and plop down on the couch beside him.
Loki didn’t bother to scoot over but pressed his thigh against hers. Well, she would have to get pretty comfortable with him anyways if he was going to be her date. Besides, they had been dancing around the whole flirting thing for a while now. It’s not like he hadn’t caught her staring at his ass more than once. Those leather pants were just so tight.
Focus, focus, focus, she chanted in her head as she let out a long breath. “I need a favor.”
There was that famous eyebrow raise. “I had surmised that. What is the exact nature of this favor?”
“Ineedyoutobemydatetomyhighschoolreunion,” she said in a rush as she expelled the sentence in one breath. Darcy firmly fixed her eyes to the floor as she awaited his reaction.
“No,” he said conclusively as he stood and began to walk out of the room.
“What?” She wasn’t sure why, but she hadn’t anticipated flat out refusal.
“No,” he repeated. “Why would I accompany you to some idiotic Midgardian social gathering?”
“Because you’re turning over a new leaf and no longer want to be an epic scumbag?” she said helplessly.
Loki rolled huffed and rolled his eyes. “I highly doubt going to some mind-numbingly boring mortal event will be enough to erase my past transgressions.”
“It will get you out of the building,” she offered.
He waved her off with a careless flick of the hand. “I come and go as I please. Do you truly think Stark could contain me?”
“Not really,” she replied with a shrug, “but this would be sanctioned. On top of that, you get to go on a date with me.” She leaned back against the couch and threw her arms over the back, putting her boobs on clear display. She would use every weapon available in her arsenal up to and including awkward seduction.
His eyes flicked from her face to her cleavage quickly before he gave a quiet chuckle and said, “So humble. Tempting but not enough to subjugate myself to such a humiliating experience. You’ll have to do better than that Miss Lewis if you wish to procure my services.”
Tempting, huh? Well, it was a start. Darcy crossed one leg over the other. “You know nevermind. I don’t know what I was doing thinking you could pull this off. Clearly, you’re not as good as your reputation makes you out to be.”
His expression turned sharp then, eyes narrowing and mouth thinning. “I don’t know what misinformation you’ve heard, but I can assure you my skills are up to par.” He walked back to the couch, leaning over and caging her in with his arms on either side. “No matter what you might require.”
Darcy’s breath hitched in her throat and her blush returned with a vengeance. Goddamn, she hated pheromones. She wet her lips thoughtfully as she studied his face, weighing her words as she tried to collect her scattered thoughts. You could cut yourself on those cheekbones, and she couldn’t determine whether his eyes were blue or green or constantly switching between the two. “Mischief. I require mischief. That’s your schtick, right? God of chaos and all?”
“It is.” He leaned in a little closer, and Darcy knew that she should push him away.
But chemistry. Chemistry was important. If they were going to be a believable couple who were crazy hot for each other they would need to make sure they were compatible. Yeah, that sounded totally legit.
“Good. I want you to sew a little chaos while we’re there.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to make them look like the jackasses they are,” she breathed, trying and failing to keep from staring at his lips.
His mouth curled into a smirk. “Revenge through humiliation, then? You have pleasantly surprised me, Miss Lewis. I didn’t think you the type.”
Darcy swallowed heavily. “You have no idea.”
“I should like to find out.”
“Do we have a deal, then?” She sat up a little straighter, bringing her mouth dangerously close to his.
He paused a beat. “We do if only for the sake of satisfying my curiosity.” Then, he pushed himself away from the couch and sauntered off to another room.
Darcy blew out the breath she’d been holding and let her head drop against the back of the couch. “What did I just get myself into?”
**
One week later
It was the day before the high school reunion, and Darcy decided it was finally time to check in on Loki. She had not been avoiding him per se, but she had specifically been mapping her way through the compound in order to decrease her chances of encountering him. It was an espionage exercise, she told herself. Totally not avoiding him. At. All.
The whole idea was laughable. What was there to avoid? Besides the knowing smirks and cocked eyebrow and stupidly fitted suits and tight leather pants. Nothing. It was perfectly normal that her blood pressure skyrocketed around him, and she felt like she had doused herself in gasoline.
Still, it was time to put the exercise to an end. It had only been half successful to begin with, which proved to Darcy that she needed to carry them out more often to remain sharp. He had always seemed to be lurking around a corner or standing at the island in the kitchen when she had thought the coast was clear to sneak her mid-afternoon coffee.
Today she found him sprawled once more on the long sofa reading another book. This one seemed to be on ancient Kordellish binding rituals. That one had been a real bitch to translate since she had had to backtrack to an ancient manuscript that was still only half deciphered. In the end, it had been pointless as well, offering no clues as to how to possibly defeat Thanos or even untie his proverbial shoelaces.
“Interesting read?” she asked.
Loki shrugged. “The author’s understanding on the properties of energy manipulation and refraction are elementary at best. He makes things unnecessarily complicated when using a simply elegant looping spell would address most of the issues he brings up.”
“You really should be a book critic for the New York Times, dude,” she drawled as she took a step forward. “But we have other issues to discuss.”
“I know,” he said with a snap of the book and set it on the coffee table. “I was wondering when you were going to finally come to me about our ridiculous arrangement.”
“You’re not backing out, are you?” she said suspiciously, both hoping and dreading that he would.
“Oh no, I wouldn’t dream of passing up on the opportunity to wreak a little mayhem,” he said with an evil grin. “It’s been terribly dull around here, and your texts on magic are inane at best.”
“Well, good,” she said with false bravado and flipped her hair over one shoulder. “I wanted to discuss your appearance.”
The god raised an eyebrow. “What about it?”
“You can’t go as you are. You might be recognized. Besides, you’re a shapeshifter.”
“I see.” His appearance shifted as he transformed in a wave of shimmering light. In front of her now sat a perfectly average looking man in his mid-to-late thirties with brown hair and eyes and a slight paunch. “Better?”
Darcy shook her head vehemently. “I need you to stand out not blend in.”
Loki blinked and became engulfed in another curtain of light. Gone was the average looking man replaced by a humanoid creature with green skin and violet eyes and a row of spikes rising from the top of its reptilian skull. “Good enough?” he hissed.
“You know what I mean,” she huffed. “I need you to be hot not a lizard-man-thing-person. Whatever.” Why was he being so impossible?
Another blink, and now he looked like eerily like a combination of Steve and Thor. The shoulders were broad, the eyes a dreamy blue, and the hair was gold and fell to his shoulders. He spread large tanned hands. “Does this suit your needs?” The disdain was clear in his voice.
Gripping his chin in one hand, she tilted his head to the side to study the face. He was undeniably hot like that. Not that she would tell him that, she liked remaining stab free thank you very much. It wasn’t quite right there. It was too all American golden boy for her tastes. They’d never buy it, and it wouldn’t have all of those drama club bitches at her school drooling over him. He was far too apple pie.
“No,” she said after a long pause and ignored the way her heart fluttered when she watched the relief wash over his face. “I want you to look like you but different.”
“How very descriptive,” he drawled as he resumed his natural appearance.
“I mean like,” Darcy flapped her hand in front of her to take in his body, “keep your face and body proportions but tweak a few things.”
Loki let out a long suffering sigh and transformed again. His hair stayed black, but transformed into a long undercut. Gone were the Stark issued sweatpants and t-shirt. They had been replaced by black jeans, a white under shirt, and a leather jacket. She could see the hint of a tattoo on the inside of his wrist and runes tattooed across his knuckles. The little shit had his name spelled out across his left hand and hers on his right. She did not want to think about what that meant. He’d even had the audacity to add guyliner and black nail polish.
“Is this more to your liking?” he said with a shit-eating grin.
Darcy internally panicked as she took in his appearance. How had he known? How the fuck had he known? Had he peered into her teenage fantasies, rummaged around in her head? Had he called her mom and asked what posters had lined her room? He looked like the ideal rockstar from ten years ago, but somehow managed to pull it off without looking dated. Adult Darcy told herself he looked like a complete and utter douchecanoe who wasn’t worth the heartache and headache he would inevitably induce, but deep, deep inside, Teenage Darcy was rising to the surface with a vengeance. She was thrilled beyond belief. Teenage Darcy was allowing their hormones to kick into high speed. She didn’t give a damn if he looked ridiculously pretentious and melodramatic. She loved it, every last detail.
She let out a long sigh as she gained some control of herself. “It will do,” she said in a shaky breath. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning to catch the flight.”
“There will be no need for that.” He looked at her through kohl-rimmed eyes, and Jesus fuck, when did they get so green? “I’ll teleport us to the necessary location.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“I despise your primitive tin cans. I will get us there in seconds without the nightmare that is your security measures.” The illusion faded, and he was once more wearing workout clothes.
“Is it safe?” she asked, trying to keep the nervousness out of her voice. She had seen Thor use the bifrost, and honestly, the thought made her pee herself just a little.
“Come now, Miss Lewis? Don’t you trust me?”