Work Text:
Title: Taste the Rainbow
Fandom: Pacific Rim
Characters: Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb
Word Count: 250
Rating: PG-13
A/N: AU after the events of Pacific Rim
Warnings: crack!fic
Summary: Hermann discovers Newt suffers from an interesting curse.
"Newton, why is my hand full of fruit-flavored candies?"
"Ah, well, um... I have a cursed cock."
"Excuse me?"
"It happened after I got my third doctorate. I went camping in the woods and managed to get myself lost. I found a cabin made out of candy and since I was hungry, I started eating. And then I may have taken a piss on the corner of the house."
"I'm assuming the owner of the house caught you in the act."
"He was not amused. He gave me this nasty look, pointed his hand at my crotch, shouted some words in a language I didn't understand, and then I found myself back at my campsite. I had no idea what he'd done until I jerked off that night. I ended up with a wad of tissues full of marshmallow fluff."
"That is the most ludicrous thing I have ever heard."
"Says the man holding the candy that just came out of my dick."
"Shut up."
"It's different candy every time too."
"You've been giving me candy the last few years we've worked together. Please tell me those didn't come from your..."
"What kind of person do you think I am?"
"Do you really want me to answer?"
"I have never given you any candy made by me. Do you remember those miniature purple marshmallow chicks I left for those asshole Jaeger engineers?"
"That explains your laughter."
"Exactly. Could you pass me the grape ones?"
"Fine, but the strawberry are mine."