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It's been a couple months now since they started dating.
Everything is going… really well. Hinata is consistently surprised, by this. He supposes he wasn't really sure what would happen, after Kageyama asked him out "officially". There had been flowers. He'd said yes without a second thought.
Hinata has continued not to have any second thoughts about dating Kageyama. He was never worried about Kageyama's job—neither of them brought it up before or after, and they don't need to. Kageyama still needs to make a living, he still works as a prostitute. He has Hinata now to laugh at his wild work stories even when they make Hinata's cheeks turn bright red. And he has Hinata now, to hug him tighter than is strictly necessary (he has yet to make Kageyama beg for mercy but it'll happen someday), and kiss his forehead, and make sure he knows, even without words, that someone cares so much for him, beyond just paying a couple hours for his attention.
However… none of this changes the fact that Kageyama is still a sexpert, and Hinata is still hopeless. And while things have been going increasingly well, day by day, Hinata is still frustrated about one thing.
He can't get Kageyama's dick all the way in him.
It wasn't a big deal at first. Hinata has only had two other short-lived attempts at relationships, and neither had really gone far past heavy making out, which had generally been the end of any action, given his extreme and persistent awkwardness. The first, a high school girlfriend, had gotten a tongue up her nose after he'd panicked and tried to get too fancy. He'd punched his boyfriend in college in the crotch trying to figure out how to angle his body. They had both been very kind when they'd eventually broken up with him, though, so he appreciates that.
Kageyama, on the other hand, is undeterred. No matter what catastrophe Hinata manages to incur, he shrugs it off, dodges any bodily injury, doesn't seem at all swayed.
"If you think you can top the stuff I've seen at my job," he usually says, "keep dreaming."
It says a lot that they'd even gotten anywhere the first time they'd met—that Kageyama had managed to relax Hinata enough to finger him; finger, singular, being the key word here—but it was still one whole finger inside Hinata and he had come from it instead of being so embarrassed his balls shriveled up into his body and… that's some kind of accomplishment. It's a bigger accomplishment that Kageyama had wanted him to stay around, wanted to date him. He likes Hinata that much, somehow.
But Hinata really wants to sit on his cock, and this is proving to be more difficult than he'd like it to be.
The first attempt is a lesson in patience, except Hinata isn't good at absorbing lessons.
"I want you," he gasps, hands smoothing over Kageyama's arms and back. He can't stop shaking, body trembling uncontrollably. "Kageyama—please—"
Kageyama looks down at him with something like concern. "Hinata…"
"I'm ready," Hinata vows. He feels completely stretched open, knows he is entirely prepared to take Kageyama's considerable length, can't wait to feel it inside him—
"I can barely fit two fingers in you," Kageyama says, and Hinata's dreams are dashed.
It turns out his particular brand of hyperventilatingly excited and debilitatingly nervous aren't the best combination when it comes to anal. He tenses up his muscles like no one Kageyama has ever encountered, his boyfriend says, and that makes it hard enough to finger him, let alone fuck him.
They try everything. There is a long period of Kageyama making Hinata switch with him—he shows Hinata how to relax into it, how to open him up, how it's entirely possible to relax and lay back and be pleasured. He shows Hinata how to find his prostate. The first time he watches Kageyama come completely undone, back arched off the bed as he moans in ecstasy, it shakes Hinata to his very core.
It takes longer to get Hinata inside him—the first time they attempt it, he's so worked up by the way Kageyama says his name while Hinata fingers him, the way his eyes get so dilated and dark, that he comes as Kageyama is rolling the condom on him. It takes an hour for him to recover from his shame, curled up on the bed pantsless with Kageyama spooning him. He keeps breaking into helpless laughter every few minutes when he recalls the noise Hinata had made in an attempt to warn him to stop touching him.
"You sounded like a dog that got stepped on," he wheezes into Hinata's neck, planting a big, wet kiss there. Hinata squirms in his arms angrily.
He does eventually fuck Kageyama and it's better than he could have hoped for, even if he doesn't manage to make Kageyama come the first time. He knows Kageyama can get himself off, but it's like an unspoken rule between them, that Kageyama doesn't fake anything with Hinata. Kageyama doesn't mind things being imperfect, and Hinata knows he's not going to be great. But between them, it's all real, and it's going to get better.
Except Hinata isn't getting better. He knows Kageyama doesn't have a problem with it, but that doesn't mean they both don't want it, and it's starting to feel hopeless. Each time he fails, he gets a little more desperate. The tipping point comes the day he tries to trick Kageyama into thinking he's fine—when trying to take three fingers hurts, enough that his eyes are watering even while he tries to keep his voice steady. Kageyama (fortunately) is too experienced to fall for it.
This time, Kageyama doesn't laugh at Hinata when he pulls him into his arms.
"It's not like I'm going to disappear if we don't do this," he says firmly. He very graciously does not say anything about the way Hinata is sniffling into his chest. "Shouyou. You getting hurt is not sexy."
"I'm not sexy," Hinata says. "But I'm trying."
Kageyama is quiet, before he asks, "Do I make you feel unsexy?"
"Huh?" Hinata asks. "No…"
It's a hard question to answer, though. Kageyama always seems to say he is sexiest when he isn't meaning to be. It's when he tries too hard, and usually fails, that Kageyama laughs or tells him to cut it out. And now he's trying his hardest, and failing every time.
"Shit," Kageyama murmurs, sensing the stillness in him. "Shouyou? I'm sorry."
"It's—n-not you," Hinata says, lower lip wobbling. Kageyama kisses it. "I just don't… it's me, I know I'm not—and then I just can't—" His face is on fire.
"Okay," Kageyama says, tucking Hinata's head under his chin, "okay."
Hinata doesn't realize, yet, that okay means there is a plan forming.
A couple of weeks pass after that incident. They still have regular, mind-blowing sex, and all the other things that are, Hinata starts to realize, the real point of being together: instant ramen and anime dates, competitive toothbrushing when they stay over at each other's places, taking evening walks together. He doesn't mention his concerns again, and Kageyama doesn't either. It's not so bad, when Hinata isn't constantly worried about it.
And then one day he knocks on the door to Kageyama's apartment and Kageyama opens it, to greet him with one of the most blistering, intense kisses Hinata's ever received. It takes his breath away.
The door is barely closed when Kageyama starts reaching for Hinata's clothes, tugging his shirt off over his head so he can trail his fingers over Hinata's back, goosebumps following in the wake of his touch.
"K-Kageyama?" Hinata says, bewildered. He's gotten more used to how suddenly passionate Kageyama can be, without warning, but this is so unprompted. The urgency is making his head spin.
"Hey," Kageyama says, sounding out of breath. "I've been—waiting, for you to get here."
"You have?" Hinata asks, feeling thrilled.
"There's something I want to try," Kageyama says, "if you're okay with it."
Usually, it's Hinata wanting to try new things—Kageyama has already seen and done it all, so he lets Hinata explore, always keeping him steady. It's not often he proposes something, and Hinata shakes his head eagerly, not even bothered by the fact that he just walked in the door.
Kageyama leads him to the bedroom, and their clothes fall on the floor in a telltale trail, t-shirts, pants, underwear following. Kageyama is down to his briefs, and Hinata is completely stripped by the time they make it through the door—clearly, Kageyama knows what he's after.
In the room, Hinata sees it—a big, tall mirror propped against the wall across from the bed. He tilts his head, staring at the reflection of his own naked body.
"I, uh, borrowed it from work," Kageyama says.
"What are we gonna do with it?" Hinata asks.
"You're going to use it to watch," Kageyama says, leaning in close to whisper in his ear, "as I fuck you."
Hinata goes rigid, heart racing at his words. "We're gonna do it?" he asks. "You know how to—"
"It's still going to be up to you," Kageyama warns him. "But, I had an idea." He sits on the edge of the bed and beckons Hinata closer. Dubiously, Hinata approaches.
"I don't… think being able to see myself," he says, "is going to help very much." Kageyama tugs Hinata closer, kisses his shoulders, and his collarbone, and his jaw, and it's so nice Hinata almost forgets about all his uncertainties, until Kageyama turns him around, sitting him in his lap.
"Trust me a little bit," Kageyama says. "Okay?"
This means Hinata is now staring straight at the mirror—straight at himself, very exposed in Kageyama's lap, as Kageyama nuzzles against him, lips brushing his cheek, hands sliding over Hinata's body. Hinata swallows, and his reflection swallows, too. He looks astoundingly nervous.
"I, um," Hinata says, "do I have to—I mean, is there a reason—"
"Obviously," Kageyama says. He bites Hinata's ear, almost like he's scolding him, and Hinata's breath hitches as he watches Kageyama tug at his earlobe. His own chest rises and falls—it seems unnecessarily fast, like a frightened rabbit. He wills himself to breathe slower. "I wanted you to see how amazing you look."
Hinata blinks rapidly. "I don't—"
"You said you aren't sexy, and that's not true," Kageyama says. "You say you're trying to be sexy, but you don't have to try."
"That's not—the point—" Hinata said, voice choked. He feels shaky and hot, but some of it is embarrassment. He wants to look away from the mirror but it's impossible. He's turning bright red, his face and his stomach and his thighs. He looks ridiculous.
"What is, then?" Kageyama asks. He trails the back of his hand coaxingly over the inside of Hinata's thigh, knuckles sweeping up the crease of his hip. Hinata's cock starts to harden and turn pink, and he wiggles.
"Sometimes," he says, part explanation, part defiance, "I want to try. I want to be sexy, not just by accident. I want to turn you on on purpose."
Kageyama looks straight ahead, meeting Hinata's eyes in the mirror. "Then now's your chance, Whole Milk."
It's a challenge, and Hinata can't help but take the bait. He glares back at Kageyama's reflection. "I'm gonna do it," he tells him. "I want you all the way inside me, Tobio. He-help me get ready!"
Kageyama grins. "Good start."
Several minutes later, he is very much starting to doubt his resolve. Kageyama fingering him is always good, because Kageyama is some kind of gold medalist at fingering, but—watching it happen is something else entirely.
"A-ah—" Hinata pants. He can see everything, has seen everything: Kageyama teasing his cock to get him to relax, slipping a hand in between his legs to circle his slick fingers around Hinata's rim. He can see his own skin getting shiny from the lube, see the sweat rolling down his flushed thighs, which seem to twitch and tremble much more than he's ever realized they did. It's like he barely has to be touched to lose control. He remembers how much he likes it, when Kageyama falls apart under his hands.
"Still watching?" Kageyama asks him. "You can't tell why I love doing this to you, yet?" He finally slides a finger a little way into Hinata's body, and Hinata jerks. He can see the way his ass clenches around it, how the muscle tightens—Kageyama's finger disappears inside him a little ways at a time and it's as deeply mesmerizing as it is shocking.
"I'm—I—"
"You're already so open," Kageyama says. "Look—" He pushes his finger all the way in, and crooks it inside Hinata, brushing his prostate. Hinata cries out, back arching—he watches their reflection, stunned. He didn't know he could bend like that.
Kageyama has him on two fingers in what feels like no time at all, and Hinata mewls and gasps as he feels and sees himself being stretched open, writhing in Kageyama's lap. In the mirror, he can see exactly what he's doing, and the way Kageyama reacts. He can see that his moans make Kageyama mouth at his skin, that his shudders make Kageyama's fingers speed up inside him, that touching Kageyama's thighs or his arm make his breath speed up in Hinata's ear.
"I'm going to use three," Kageyama says, and Hinata nods shakily. The third finger doesn't hurt. It just makes him need more.
"I think about it all the time," Hinata mumbles, as Kageyama pistons three whole fingers in him, spreading Hinata's entrance every time he buries them fully. He strokes Hinata's cock slowly with his other hand, keeping him dazed with pleasure. His hands look big on Hinata, now that he can see it straight on—working over his shaft and inside him, nice and large and strong. "Whenever I touch you I try to memorize it. So I can imagine what you'd be like inside me."
This makes Kageyama grin, but he hides it in Hinata's hair. Hinata almost starts to feel embarrassed, until Kageyama's voice rumbles in his ear, more hoarse than usual.
"God, I can't wait to finally fucking show you."
Hinata gasps at that, biting his lip as his cock twitches, heat pooling dangerously in his stomach. But Kageyama pulls out of him, shushing him, pressing kisses to his shoulder. He has to maneuver to get his underwear off, but then Hinata feels him, hot against the cleft of his ass.
It's finally going to happen. He's going to have Kageyama's cock in him.
"How are you feeling?" Kageyama asks, as he rolls on a condom and slicks a generous amount of lube over himself. "Okay? You look good—you look so good…"
Hinata whimpers, as Kageyama positions him over the head of his cock. He can see how thick it is in the mirror, and sucks in a breath.
"We're going to go slow," Kageyama tells him, fingers caressing his stomach. "You're going to watch me go deep inside you, Shouyou, do you still want that?"
Hinata nods vigorously. Cautiously, Kageyama helps him sit back down, and then he's looking, eyes wide, as the head of Kageyama's cock disappears right into him, pushes inside him to open him up just a little more. He freezes.
"Okay," Kageyama says, and Hinata remembers to breathe. "That feels so fucking—incredible—"
"It's—it's barely in—" Hinata whispers.
"You're so tight," Kageyama tells him. His voice sounds shaky. "You sure you're okay?"
It doesn't hurt yet—it's just a lot. And there's going to be so much more. He's trying so hard and he doesn't want to screw it up—
"Shou, I need you," Kageyama pleads, and that snaps him out of it. Kageyama leans his forehead against Hinata's back, helpless. "If you—if you can—"
"I can," Hinata says. He's trying really hard, and Kageyama still likes it. He's not failing, even if all he's not failing at is taking a cock up the ass. He can do this.
He presses down more and Kageyama groans, long and low. His hand splays across Hinata's belly, and Hinata threads their fingers together, puffing his cheeks out as he goes. He's pretty sure he doesn't look very sexy right now, but he can see that it's Kageyama who isn't watching, currently. He has his eyes closed, mouth open as he gasps, every time Hinata sinks a little bit lower.
And it all kind of pales in comparison to what it looks like, watching every hot, thick inch of him going inside Hinata—until there's just no more left to take. Until he can lean back against Kageyama's chest, fully triumphant, and triumphantly full.
Kageyama presses his cheek to Hinata's. They gaze at each other in the mirror for a long time, long enough that it makes Hinata start to smile unwittingly, until he's grinning bashfully at their reflection.
"How is it?" Kageyama asks him.
Hinata presses down on his stomach, where he feels heavy and tight. "Told you I'd do it."
"Mmm. You like it?"
Hinata nods. "A lot. Can you move?"
The pace Kageyama sets is slow at first. He is still careful to test the waters, to let Hinata adjust to every cautious thrust. It feels strangely awesome, having something so large pressing inside all of him. The steady pace makes his hips roll in sync with Kageyama's; it looks obscene, with the way his cock bobs against his stomach, Kageyama's hands gripping underneath his thighs to keep him spread open wide. It looks…
"Sexy…" Hinata breathes, and Kageyama growls into his ear,
"This is why I said to trust me."
Hinata moans. "You can—go harder—" He wants to feel it. He wants to get fucked.
Kageyama builds up to it, hips rocking faster, thrusts pounding more intense—but what Hinata isn't ready for is the moment he lifts him, biceps flexing as he picks Hinata up enough to bounce him in his lap, his cock sliding slickly in and out of Hinata's hole. Hinata shouts, head falling back in a haze of bliss. He's nearly at his limit, after so much stimulation, but Kageyama grabs his chin and forces him to look back at the mirror.
"Oh, god," Hinata says. He looks fucked out of his mind, which is completely accurate. It's so hard to keep his eyes open, but he can't look away from the place they're joined, where Kageyama's cock disappears into him over and over. "Oh, my god, To—Tobio, Tobio—"
"You're taking me so good, Shouyou," Kageyama pants. "You look perfect, you always look perfect for me—"
"I th-think I'm gonna come—" Hinata says, "I want to—I wanna come on your cock—"
And to his shock, it's Kageyama who finishes first, swearing at his words as his thrusts judder out of rhythm. They're hard and sharp, and Hinata chokes as Kageyama rubs insistently inside him. Kageyama wraps his fingers around his leaking cock, to add to the sensation, stroking him too fast for Hinata to bear it. He jerks in Kageyama's arms, and then spills, splattering his abdomen as he comes hard, thoughts blanking out finally, leaving him in a silent, shivering rush.
When he finally comes back to his senses, Kageyama is holding him tight. Hinata pats his arm softly and his grip eases up—barely.
"That was amazing," Hinata says, before Kageyama can ask. Kageyama leans his forehead against his neck and sighs.
"It better be, after I stole that mirror," he says. Hinata laughs in delight.
"You can take it back, I think." Their reflections look utterly wrecked. And satisfied. He reaches back, to slide his fingers through Kageyama's hair. "I… think I'm okay now. I believe you."
"Or maybe," Kageyama says contemplatively, "we can buy one ourselves. I definitely didn't mind this."
Hinata agrees this is an excellent plan.
Later, after they've cleaned up and showered, and are standing in the kitchen heating up water for food, Kageyama says, "Do you want to know how I know you're sexy?"
Hinata opens the package of frozen dumplings he's been struggling with too forcefully. "What? How?"
"At my job, most of the time to get off, I had to think about something else," Kageyama says. "Think about good porn, or what I wanted to do, or how I'd get myself off."
"Okay…" Hinata says, not understanding yet.
"Now," Kageyama says, taking the package of dumplings from him, "I just think about being with you."
It was a good instinct, grabbing the dumplings, because Hinata would have dropped them. He smacks Kageyama on the arm with a wooden ladle. "Why didn't you say that sooner?!"
Kageyama wrinkles his nose. "It was too sappy."
"That's the point, Kageyama!"
"I thought you wanted to feel sexy," Kageyama says, "not mushy."
He is probably teasing, Hinata realizes, judging by the way he laughs as Hinata continues to try and jab him with the spoon. That's the good thing about Kageyama, though. He can make Hinata feel sexy in a lot of different ways; but the nicest part is that he always makes Hinata feel wanted, sex appeal or no.