Chapter Text
It felt like she was constantly one step ahead of them. He didn't know whether to be pissed or impressed at this point, maybe a bit of both.
It had been exactly twenty-three days since she'd up and wandered off without a word.
He'd woken up that morning, trying not to cry again and mentally preparing himself for the emotional conversation he was expecting to come, feeling slightly awkward when he realised Nick was still there. At least he was still wearing his sunglasses, their presence probably the only thing keeping his head from exploding. Deacon groaned softly, the hangover making the room spin slightly. That alone kept him where he was, unable to run away, feeling as crummy as he did.
(Sorry - Nothing But Thieves)
And this is one of the reasons I do not drink.
Nick came out of his diagnostics and just asked how he was doing, all matter of factly, before letting go of his hand and asking if he wanted some coffee in the same tone. He couldn't remember clearly but at some point during the night, Nick must have picked up after him, the safe closed back up and the floor free from glass.
He was okay with ignoring last night and agreed that some coffee would be great. Nick went and got that going and Deacon sat at the end of Audra's bed, head hanging between his knees as he tried to get up the will to face her. Jumping up and nearly vomiting when he heard Nick shout something, stumbling out to see Nick and Sturges there with equally worried looks on their faces. He looked between them and Sturges rolled his shoulders with a frown, sounding much more in control then he knew he would be.
'Audra's gone...bag gone, clothes gone, Dogmeat gone. Her weapon's aren't here at the house, so she must have come by at some point, but the guard at the gate said that no one came from Red Rocket and Sanctuary since we left last night and I came over this morning.'
'She had to have come when I was doing diagnostics. Though I don't know how she managed to put stuff back in the safe without me noticing her.'
Deacon blinked at them, trying to wrap his head around it, but felt like his brain was floating in beer and vodka instead of cerebrospinal fluid. Shuffling to the kitchen table and taking the coffee Nick held out while lighting a cigarette, waiting for his healing to kick in a bit and at least minimise the hangover.
'Okay, so she snuck off. Has anyone spoken with Preston? Speak of the devil...'
'Uh...did I miss something?'
'Did the General tell you she was leaving for somewhere?'
'No, wait, Audra's gone? When did she leave? Last time I talked with her she wasn't doing very well...like she was asking me if something ever happened to her to keep looking for Shaun...I don't think she should be alone right now.'
'She asked me that too...'
Sturges looked over at Nick, Nick frowned and nodded and Deacon's lips went thin, holding his hand out and asking for Preston' s radio. He switched over to her channel and they all looked down at the radio.
'Audra...'
Frowning as all they got was static, about to say something again when he heard the faint beeping.
.. _ _ .._..._..
'Fucking really? Where the hell are you?'
All he got was silence and he stopped himself before he chucked the radio at the wall, the pounding of his head setting him on edge. Looking around at the other men, Nick shaking his head a bit, Preston looking between them.
'Morse code?'
'She says she's fine. I'm going to have some more coffee, eat something and then go after her.'
Nick stated he was going with him, leaving no room for argument and honestly, he didn't feel like being alone anyways. He usually preferred being alone, but since she'd come and thrown his world into chaos, he appreciated the company more and more. He scarfed some breakfast down and was surprised when Preston and Sturges walked with them to Red Rocket. Sturges handed both of them their own radio from the box he'd most recently fixed, surprising them when he pulled each of them into a hug. Preston shaking hands and asking them to let them know when they'd found her.
They switched between the Minutemen channel and her channel, asking her to respond, chasing after her as news of the settlements she helped came but still she managed to avoid them. They avoided broadcasting anything besides asking her to get in contact with them after his initial outburst, not wanting to worry any of the settlements.
By the end of the first week, Deacon was running on fumes and Nick forced him to stop at Diamond City and rest for the night. He was embarrassed but grateful when Nick sat next to him as he slept for a bit. Checking with Ellie, Piper, and the other Ellie to see if Audra had appeared at any point. When they said they hadn't seen her they moved on with promises to find her and let them know.
By the end of the second week, Nick had to run back to Diamond City and Deacon checked in with Dez. Carefully avoiding the subject of Charmer before running off again. He'd even stopped by Goodneighbor and Starlight, trying to see if she was hiding out with Hancock or Mac. Frowning when Mac told him Dogmeat had just shown up a few weeks back. After letting the man know about how she'd disappeared, Mac started packing up immediately but Deacon convinced him to stay...he really wasn't sure how she would react to any of them right now and both of them together might be too much for her. When he went to Goodneighbor John was quiet on the subject, too quiet...which meant she'd been by and he was covering for her.
She knew I would try to use Dogmeat to find her. She knew I would check in with everyone.
Dogmeat was good, but he wasn't even sure if he could get her trail after that long. After he'd heard a rumor about Audra running with Edward Deegan, he was off like a shot for the Cabot House. The rumors had placed her all around the East, sometimes running with Deegan, sometimes alone. After he'd spoken with the ghoul, he found out that she'd wandered off three days back, then he started in the general direction Edward thought she was going.
It had been three weeks and a couple days. Three weeks with only the occasional Morse code transmission to let them know she was alive, if it was even her...worrying that perhaps Cole had gotten her but knowing the man, he'd make a big production of it, not stay silent. By mid-afternoon he was already tired and decided to stop, giving the Minutemen a little hand by clearing one of the houses they'd marked to be cleaned out later, knowing Dez was also interested in Taffington Boathouse, as well. He'd been hoping to possibly find Audra here, Deegan had mentioned she was thinking about clearing it.
Sighing when he found the settler's body and burying her off in the field across the road. Looking around cautiously when he heard a scream coming from somewhere not too far. After getting a fair amount of the bug guts cleaned up, he rolled out his bedroll in the living room area, staying close to the cook station for warmth. After a quick check in with Nick and some food and prepping the area, he settled down for the night. When it became clear that sleep wasn't coming he reached into his bag, carefully pulling out the well-loved tome and lighting a lantern, this had always been one of his favorites. Thinking about it briefly before taking a couple long pulls off the bottle of vodka in his pack. Dropping the book and nearly fucking attacking her when she suddenly appeared in front of him, just far enough out of his reach as she pulled some kind of helmet off, smirking at him before he could really register what was going on. He hadn't even heard her.
'I’ll follow thee and make a heaven of hell, To die upon the hand I love so well.'
He frowned at the floor, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself, putting his switchblade back in his pocket before he looked up at her again. She'd settled down on the floor across from him after pulling her muffler off but she was still wearing her jacket, sitting with her back against the wall, staring at him from the dark corner. He could barely see her in the flicker of the lantern but the dark circles were back and she looked tired, eyes going wide at the sword that was sitting on the ground by her side.
Smirking at him again, the amusement not quite reaching her eyes when she asked out of the blue, 'So Deacon, what do you know about aliens?'
-
She knew she had been a coward, but she couldn't bear to face Aidan...Deacon...not when she'd just gotten him back in her life, but she couldn't not tell him. He deserved to know, so she made sure that he had looked in the safe before she left. She ended up walking Dogmeat to Starlight and sending him to Mac, being careful not to let him see her. She missed having the pup along with her, but she needed him away from the guys so they couldn't use him to find her and she couldn't take him with her because he was too recognizable, she had a hard enough time disguising herself if she needed to.
After that Audra started heading South without a particular destination in mind, debating whether or not she could handle going to see Arthur right now, like she'd promised to weeks ago. She'd gone down to Diamond City before cutting East, heading in the general direction of the Prydwen when she ran into the young boy along the water. After speaking with Donny and getting his story, she had him head for Oberland, telling him to speak with the sisters and let them know she sent him.
Poor kid needs someone to be around and watch out for him.
When she went out into the water, the last thing she expected was to run into a Chinese submarine Captain. At first she felt rage building at the Captain's confession of his involvement and some of the things he said...but she felt bad for the ghoul and eventually agreed to help him. She knew the place he'd mentioned had already been cleared by one of the scouting teams, hoping that the item he was looking for was still in the building or in the nearby settlement. She was able to find what Zao was looking for and when she brought it back and finished helping him, he presented her with some gifts before he was ready to set sail again.
'No way...'
Audra made the old ghoul jump in surprise as she gave him a hug, thanking him for the gifts. She stuck them in a duffle bag and made for the shack Donny had been staying in, where she'd stashed her stuff so it wouldn't get wet, looking out the window and seeing the stir of the water as Zao left. After she'd changed, she decided against going to see Arthur for now, instead deciding to go talk with John. He might understand and wouldn't judge her...maybe.
She got to the gates of Goodneighbor and went in the way she'd found as the Shroud. Loosening the board covering the window and crawling in the dilapidated section of the Old State House, covering the window back up and instead of going out in the alley where she'd scared Deacon before, she carefully went up some old broken servant's stairs. She crouched down, trying out her new stealth suit and slowly pushed open the panel, coming out in her room. If a person was not aware of the old servant doors and back ways most older buildings had, they would never have thought to try the panels. Audra set her bag down by the bed quietly and snuck past Mickey to see John at his desk and Fahr on the couch, talking about some of the work they were doing. She left them be and made her way back to her room, stripping the stealth suit off and stuffing it and all her weapons in her bag before lying down on the bed.
She must have fallen asleep, waiting for John to go out to smoke, because the next thing she knew she was waking up cuddled against his chest. He was stroking her hair softly and looking down at her, concerned.
'Whatcha doing here, sunshine? I heard Nicky and Deacon on the radio trying to get a hold of you...what's going on?'
(Love - Lana Del Rey)
Audra sighed and just smooshed her face into his coat, he smelled like tobacco and the chemical tang from the Jet he liked, peeking up at him before pulling back with a sigh.
'I just...I need to vent and tell someone the whole story and get someone else's view to tell me if I am just getting myself all worked up or if it's legitimate and I'm a horrible person...but I am scared. I came here because I thought that you wouldn't judge me for what happened but if I'm gonna tell you everything, I need to eat first and we need to get some whisky...maybe several bottles and all the cigarettes.'
'I can do that. Let me get some stuff and see if I can help you settle your mind.'
John gave her a peck and tucked her back in, wandering out of the room and closing the doors after himself. Mickey and Fahr must have seen her too, their muffled voices coming through the walls. She dozed a bit more, waking to the sound of the doors opening a little while later. John had a plate of something and a bag full of the requested items, pulling the coffee table over to the couch and setting everything there, beckoning her over.
She ate some of the brahmin and corn before pouring herself a glass of the whisky. Audra pulled an oversized hoodie out of her bag, pulling it on and leaving the hood up, hiding her face for the most part before they went out to the balcony, sipping their drinks and smoking before wandering back in. John made a comment and she mentioned not wanting to be seen, so he cracked the door and one of the windows so they could smoke inside without it getting too stuffy. They settled back onto the couch and she curled against his side before she started telling John everything.
She started from when her parents divorced and went through the years, talking about first meeting the guys, school, college, the initial problems with their love triangle, her engagement to Aidan and his death.
'I left because I told him something I think he's going to hate me for and because it's almost the anniversary of his death. I have no fucking clue how to handle having him around while grieving the loss of the love of my life. It's weird and confusing and I know I'm going to be sad even if he's right there because he's not the same....we're not the same and that life was taken from us.'
She told him about June, about running into Nate and trying dating again, marrying, having Shaun. She told him everything from since she'd woken up, how she knew Nick, how she felt about Mac, how she had to send him away on that anniversary. Audra told him about what had happened with Deacon since then, about her affection for Arthur, her growing love for Sturges, her complete and utter feeling of inadequacy in dealing with all of them and her worry and confusion about things going forward.
By the time she'd finished telling him, dawn had passed and they'd managed to kill two bottles of whisky and a carton and a half of cigarettes and John had his fair share of Mentats and Jet. He looked at her, a deep soul searching look and just scooped her up, putting her on the bed. Stripping down and climbing into bed with her, she snuggled against him, fingers playing over the scarred skin of his chest lightly.
'I don't think he'll hate you. I don't think it's your fault. You're a good person who has had a shit run of everything, but somehow you keep going and try make the best of it. You're better then all of us, sunshine...and if for some reason those idiots have a problem with any of it, you know you'll always have a place here.'
John kissed her forehead and they drifted off, eventually waking mid-afternoon. John convinced her to come down to the Third Rail that evening, stating that they would be okay in the VIP room, but she wore the suit just in case. Jumping when she noticed the ghoul sitting in the corner of the room that she hadn't noticed before she pulled the helmet off, making him jump at her sudden appearance, as well. John made introductions and Deegan propositioned her before wandering off with a promise to keep his lips sealed about seeing her there.
They had some food and a couple drinks, listening to Magnolia before Audra got jumpy, asking John softly to go back upstairs. He followed her back up until they were in her room, shutting the door as she pulled the stealth suit off.
'You okay, sunshine?'
'I just...I know Deacon and probably Nick are going to be coming for me and I just am not ready to face them. I think...I think I'll head out tomorrow, take Deegan up on his offer.'
'Ya sure? Don't want you going out there and getting roughed up because your head's not in the right place.'
'I'm sure John, I need the distraction.'
He frowned but nodded a little, going to the couch and sitting down with a huff. He looked so irritated and she felt bad, curling at his side till he looked down at her, kissing him softly.
'I'm sorry...Thank you, John. Really. I feel a bit better talking about everything and I know I can always talk to you.'
He smirked at her, a little self-deprecatingly, tossing his hat on the table as he popped a couple Mentats.
'You can always count on me for anything you need there sunshine, in and out of bed.'
She rolled her eyes but felt bad about not being able to return the same level of love she saw in his eyes, moving to straddle his lap, cupping his face and forcing him to look at her. It was her turn to bolster him, singing his praises, blushing when he stirred against her belly. After another quick talk and his reassurance that he was okay, John scooped her up and tucked her into bed. Audra tried to convince him to try help distract her but he protested, stating that he wouldn't take advantage of her current mental state. He wandered off for a while but eventually joined her in bed, just holding her tight again.
-
She leant over the balcony edge, perhaps a bit too far, blowing Deegan a kiss. Grinning as the ghoul chuckled and turned around to head up and join her. Audra met him inside and they went up to the roof, lounging at the table there, passing the ghoul a beer.
'I must say, I do like this place. Thank you, Edward darling.'
'Thank Jack for that.'
'Nuh-uh, not that it wasn't nice of him, but you're the one who approached me first. Speaking of which, have you made up your mind or do I need to get you drunk and deposit you in his bed myself?'
The ghoul chuckled and shook his head, downing the rest of his beer before speaking again, 'I was going to talk with him and go from there. What about you? You ready to go back to your stud farm?'
Audra snorted her beer through her nose, laughing and whining about the burn before wiping her face up, she moved over to the side of his chair snuggling up to his side carefully. He hadn't been wearing his armour since he was still healing and she tilted her head to look up at him thoughtfully. They'd know each other a couple weeks now, but had bonded almost immediately once Deegan found out about her past, spending some time talking about their life before and since then. He reminded her of her father, they way he'd expressed his concern over the guys.
When she'd found that he'd come to love his employer, she'd made it her mission to try and get them together, especially after what had happened at Parson's...knowing that Jack would have a limited life-span compared to Edward's now. He stayed for another couple beers before Audra practically pushed him out the door, threatening him with bodily injury if he did not speak with Jack. Sighing softly as she closed the door and wandered back up to look at her new pad.
It was a nice apartment, nicer than the one she and Nate had shared before buying the house. It was in great shape and would be another good place when travelling around, but it felt empty without everyone. She'd gotten used to always having someone with her, briefly thinking about running back to John, but not wanting to abuse his affection.
'Fuck it. I survived years by myself, I can do it.'
(Party By Myself - Hollywood Undead)
She threw some music on the jukebox and cranked it up, singing along and dancing as she pulled one of the bottles of bourbon off the shelf, letting out an exaggerated moan as she sipped it. Even the alcohol was in better shape.
I'll have to bring Arthur a bottle of the bourbon, Nick the whisky...
Audra grumbled at herself in frustration, there was rarely a moment when one or all of them wasn't on her mind. Downing the last little bit in her glass before pouring another. She stripped down to her sports bra and boyshorts, because why the hell not, learning all the little nooks and crannies of the loft. She eventually ended up back out on the roof, now with a bottle of vodka in hand, glaring at the buildings below. She'd gotten more and more upset as she looked around, unable to keep them off her mind. Then she thought about Aidan and what kind of life they would have had if things had been different.
'FUCK THIS, fuck you, fuck you, fuck all ya'll. Just give me my life back.'
The last of the words were choked out as she threw the bottle off into the distance, smirking a little and wiping her eyes when she heard the shout of a raider.
'You want to fucking play? Okay.'
To say that she wasn't exactly in her right mind at the moment would be a gross understatement as she yanked her boots and a t-shirt on, foregoing the rest of her clothing as she strapped Deliverer to her leg and grabbed a small bag with some stimpacks and her knives before running down and out the door in the general direction of the shouts.
She knew she couldn't go too far, she was too close to the church and ran the risk of running into an agent, but she knew they generally tried to avoid the buildings where the raiders hung out. Audra ran down the alleyways swiftly, stumbling slightly from the amount of booze coursing through her system.
Audra chased the raiders down, eventually coming to a red door at a dead end with a couple raider bodies already laying about. She crouched down and slowly opened the door, peeking in before entering. Blinking when she entered and saw the room to her left.
'Art never improves, but... the material of art is never quite the same. Somehow I don't think this is what Eliot meant.'
She made a face at the smell and rapidly made her way through the building, taking out the raiders upstairs before beginning to venture down. She went slowly, cautiously, in much deeper than she had intended when she went after the raiders to blow off some steam.
Audra made her way through the sub-level, past a few more raiders, bristling when she heard the voices. She saw a man that was surrounded and took out Deliverer, sighting down at the raiders surrounding him. She hesitated when she heard the raider talking about his men being used as the paint for the gruesome show up top, stomach clenching when the man didn't deny it. Hell, he sounded proud of the fact. She took a couple deep breaths and pulled the trigger, quickly dropping two of the raiders as the man took on the third. As soon as the raider was down, she hopped down but kept the gun trained on the man. He argued his point, but even his voice made it feel like someone was dragging an ice cube down her spine. He gave her a key, trying to convince her to let him leave, but when she said no he was immediately there. She couldn't stop the whimper as he knocked her into one of the brick pillars.
'Now, now, Killer...let's be reasonable. Those people deserved worse than death.'
'Maybe you deserve the same.'
'So sayeth one born killer to another. Regardless, I pay my debts.'
He dropped her and turned away as she holstered her gun, apparently feeling that his point was made, but Audra wasn't having any of it. Slashing at his arm with one of the knives and driving him against the wall, switchblade to his throat. She gagged a bit as his too sweet breath washed over her and she could feel his growing erection, pushing hard enough on his windpipe to draw a line of blood. He started to gasp and fight back when he realised she wasn't going to let up, she stumbled back at one particularly hard shove and she swung with all her might, her combat knife catching Pickman across the throat, watching as he fell to the ground. His eyes were cloudy when she looked down at him and shot him in the head instead of letting him bleed out like she had with the courser. Looking at the gory mess before turning away to retch against the wall.
What have I become?
She searched him and then stopped at the safe, snagging his present...looking down at the blade with some distaste before stumbling back to the loft. Audra took a scalding shower, feeling like she could still smell the musty walls and his sickly rotten breath on her, sinking to the floor of the shower and crying. She didn't know how long she sat there, the water having long gone cold before drying herself off, not even bothering to dress before collapsing in bed. The room was spinning as she fell asleep, whimpering and crying out, dreaming of bloody paintings and yellow eyeballs staring down at her.
-
Audra hung over the edge of the bed, emptying the bile from her stomach, between the drinking and remembering last night her stomach felt like it was trying to fold in on itself. She groaned and stumbled to the bathroom, taking care of her bodily needs and brushing her teeth before wandering back out, pulling on some undies and a shirt and then cleaning up the mess she'd made. She made herself eat some mutfruit and drink the last container of biogel she had on her before showering again and dressing to face the day.
(So Far Away - Avenged Sevenfold)
She sat on the couch looking down at the picture of her and Aidan, the one she had shown Mac, brushing the tears away angrily. That life was gone, but he was still here...no matter how different it felt, no matter how much it hurt and how much her brain tried to remind her that this was the day he died. Suddenly the ache was more then she could stand, wanting to see him, even if he hated her.
Audra packed up her bags and locked up, wearing her hoodie over the stealth suit, not putting the helmet on yet. She wandered over to the Cabot House, grinning when she entered and saw Edward coming downstairs from Jack's lab, much happier than he was the night before. She talked with him for a bit, letting him know Deacon was likely to come looking for her, telling Edward to send him towards Taffington Boathouse.
She'd heard about the location while helping Greentop Nursery out and it sounded like it would make a good addition to the settlement line up. After bidding the men goodbye and noting her frequency down in case they needed her, she was off. She pulled the helmet on and avoided everything till she was just outside of Bunker Hill, stopping by the Market and getting some supplies, making sure Old Man Stockton heard her talking about running around with Deegan. But instead of immediately making for Taffington, she snuck into her office above the sleeping area they'd had built for the Minutemen, settling down for the night. She kept watch the next day, leaving her helmet on and the sitting so she could see out the window. She sat back far enough that she was essentially hidden unless someone was directly looking into the window, waiting, knowing he would stop by for intel.
Audra smirked when he appeared the following morning, dressed in his caravaneer get up. Spending a moment in the Market, presumably speaking with Stockton before making his way out the side door, Audra hopping out the window and off the shack roof. She followed him back to the Cabot House, watching him speak with Deegan when he came out and trailing him as he started north. She couldn't help but snicker a little, watching him during one of his costume changes.
God, I love that idiot.
It was a relatively uneventful walk until they passed the BADTFL offices, when she realized someone else was trailing Deacon. She just kept an eye on him for a bit, heart pounding when the man looked around at one point, feeling her eyes on him...but the suit did its job and he shrugged it off, trailing the spy once again.
This was a man who obviously was experienced at following someone, hiding at the appropriate moments and moving silently. He had a pistol in hand, but made no attempt to go for Deacon just yet. Audra hung back a bit when they started coming up to a bridge, watching as he dodged some booby traps and did the same. Deacon was further ahead of them and she could hear some shots from his pistol. The man was carefully walking along the water's edge and Audra set her bag down and took a leap at him from the top of the embankment, kicking his legs out from under him, causing the man to fall over into the water. She quickly grabbed the thrashing man by his shirt, dragging him out of the water and into the mud, knocking the gun out of his hand into the river. She had to give it to him, beyond the initial grunt of surprise and pain, the man didn't make much noise, looking at her like he was trying to see beyond the helmet. She tried to make her voice as low and rough as she could, pinning the man down, putting Pickman's Blade to his throat.
'Why are you following him?'
She had to repeat the question twice more, digging her knee into his stomach, knife to his throat.
'The heretic must be cleansed, he and his whore will die before they can continue spreading their lies.'
'What lies? What the hell are you talking about? Who are you?'
'He claims they knew his holiness First Elder Maxson, now she claims to be of that time, as well.'
Audra huffed, pulling the helmet off with one hand, practically growling at the man. She felt a surge of dark satisfaction when she saw the fear in the man's eyes. She felt the same disgust that had bothered her the other night after dealing with Pickman. The fucking crazy tone he had when talking about Deacon was enough to make her blood boil. No one. NO. ONE. Fucked with her family.
(Killing Strangers - Marilyn Manson)
She grabbed him by his hair and yanked the bigger man up, gesturing with the knife for him to walk back towards the bridge. Slashing at his upper arm when the man tried to make a move at her. They were both surprised by the extra forceful burst of blood that came forth. Directing him to the other side of one of the old freeway supports, making him stand with his back to the concrete.
'Hm. Interesting. This is a new blade to me. I took it from a man who liked to kill raiders and use their blood and bodies for his art...that was after I slit his throat. For all I know, he's poisoned it, might account for the extra bleeding you have going on. Sit. Now...I heard you mention the First Elder Maxson like he's some kind of god and I can assure you...he wasn't. Rog was a great man, but not divine and he would have been disgusted to know that he was being worshipped.'
'Blasphemy!'
'Uh uh uh...you never knew him. Whatever tales you heard have been twisted over 200 years. I said sit. The next time you move, you'll start getting mighty familiar with this blade. I wonder how many small cuts it would take for you to bleed out. Have you heard of synths? Yes, okay. Have you heard of coursers? I killed a courser, by slitting his throat, as well. I can tell you...it is not a pretty way to go. I imagine slowly bleeding out might be slightly better then choking on your own blood as it seeps down your throat.'
The fear was back in the man's eyes as she spoke, giving him a grin, teeth bared. She stayed alert as she looked down at the man. He was positively...unremarkable. Frowning and trying to figure out what to do with him. She wasn't equipped to keep him prisoner but she didn't feel she could just kill him outright, wondering what other information she could get out of him.
'Who are you?...How many of you are there?...Where are you staying?...Who is your leader?'
Sighing softly when he refused to answer, hand darting out and grazing a cheek. He hissed a little but continued to sit there as she repeated the questions, each time giving him a new little cut. Whatever Pickman had done to this knife was bloody (har har) effective and soon the man's face was dripping with blood, he started squirming nervously after the last cut and Audra drew one across his forehead slowly. As soon as the blood started seeping into his eyes, she saw the crack forming. Watching the panicked pressing, trying to stem the flow.
'Cole. His name is Cole.'
She was about to ask him again when he reached out, trying to grab the knife from her hand and she moved without thinking, burying the switchblade that had been folded in her other hand into the man's temple. She was able to control her stomach this time but she still felt the bile rising in her throat.
I did what I had to do, I have to protect Aodh and I got a name. This Cole will regret his decision to come after my family.
She just kept repeating that to herself again and again, wondering if she'd ever actually believe it. Audra pulled her knife out and searched the man, using his t-shirt to wipe off her blades. He didn't have much of anything on him, leaving the body there while she went and gathered the things she'd flung. Frowning and realising there was blood on her coat and mud on the helmet.
She suited back up and slung her bag on before grabbing the dead man's arms and dragging him off a bit further to the other side of the bridge. It was starting to get dark, so she sat on the railing of the bridge, pulling some food out and lifting the helmet a bit so she could munch. Eventually it was dark and she couldn't delay anymore. As much as she wanted to see him earlier, now, she was back to being scared.
She caught a glimpse of him through the open door, circling around the porch and coming in the other door, carefully avoiding the mines he 'd put in place. She paused, lips pressing together tight to fight back the sigh, seeing what he was reading. She moved over so she would be in his line of sight, watching him take a few swigs, wishing she had done the same before she pulled her helmet off with a smirk in place.
Audra was glad she'd stayed out of reach, watching him whip out his switchblade...but she knew he'd react like that like she would, like he taught her to.
(Somebody That I Used To Know - Gotye)
'I’ll follow thee and make a heaven of hell, To die upon the hand I love so well.'
The doubts were back, eating at her forced calm. She had to remember....as much as he was different, she must be to him, as well. Pulling out the sword so she could shove the helmet in her bag, placing it by her side as she sat on the floor, yanking her muffler off and stuffing that into the bag too. Audra watched as he took some deep breaths and plastered the smirk back on, it was about the only look she could maintain right now, it was that or looking sad.
Suddenly she remembered the phial in her bag and it's similarity to the biogel, except it was more like green goo. After what she'd seen, she didn't doubt that there was more out there then she really knew about, but she wondered what her darling fiance might know.
'So Deacon, what do you know about aliens?'
She couldn't help but laugh a little at the confused look on his face, poking around in her bag till she pulled the phial out, holding it up for him to see.
'Had an interesting last couple weeks. Let's just say, aliens are real and this...this green goo, seems to deal with radiation, instead of healing like the blue goo...but it also has the interesting effect of added damage resistance, strength and prolonging life.'
His eyebrows raised high enough that she could see them above his glasses and she made a gesture to his face, smiling brightly when he immediately removed his glasses, but didn't look him in the eyes just yet. She was good at hiding things, but not that good. Digging around in her bag again before pulling out one of the bottles of vodka from the loft, she held both things out slightly, so he was forced to come over to grab them.
'Green goo and vodka, are we making a cocktail?'
'Smartass. The green goo is just so you can see it, I'm going to take it to Curie to analyse against the sample of biogel she ran. The vodka is for you and is much better than what you were just drinking. I also have some whisky for Nick, some bottles for the other guys. Speaking of which.'
She lifted her arm and pressed the button down with a little sigh.
'I know ya'll are listening. I'm okay, really. I am with Deacon currently. I'll check in in the morning. Love ya.'
She gave an exaggerated kissy noise before looking back at the spy. He hadn't said much and she worried that it was coming, the pain and disappointment...the condemnation. She was surprised when he just cracked the vodka, taking a swig with a surprised glance at the bottle. She crawled across the floor, grinning when she saw him go still, reaching out and taking the bottle from his grip and taking a swig as she sat down next to him. Grumbling a bit when her coat got in the way, going up on her knees and tossing it aside.
'What are you wearing? That's not your usual suit.'
'Like it? It was a present.'
Audra crawled back to her bag, his eyes going wide as she pulled the helmet on and disappeared before his eyes. Pulling the helmet off and brushing her hair back as it came out of it's bun and fell down her back. She needed a haircut, it was getting long...dangerous. That or she'd have to start braiding it and tucking the tails away.
'Hēi guǐ.'
'That's right. You're familiar with it?'
'I've seen it once before...how did you get it?'
'I met a Captain who very much wanted to go home and expressed regret for his involvement in things. He gifted it to me before leaving.' At his confused look she clarified, 'I found a ghoul...a Chinese Captain who was here, that day...who may have been responsible for the one here...'
'WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU LET HIM GO? Look. Look at what happened. He needs to pay for what he's done.'
'Deacon. Deacon....AODH. Hush. I thought that at first too, but the man has been living in a fucking cigar tube for 200 years with his feral crew and all he wanted to do was go home. Besides...I had an interesting conversation with him that led to his gifts....how long have you been using Stealth Boys?'
Deacon just glared at her, taking another swig of the vodka and standing, wandering to the back porch and lighting a cigarette with a huff. Audra sighed and trailed after him, making him tense when she slid her hand into his front pocket to grab his cigs. Resting her forearms on the railing as she stood next to his side. He was angry with her now, smoking with harsh jerky movements. First one, then another before stomping back inside.
Audra trailed behind him, sitting at his side, picking up his book and leafing through it. She was about to make a snarky comment about him dog-earing the pages, stopping when the book flopped open and revealed the photos, the three photos. She couldn't stop the soft choking noise she made and he just took the book, jamming it back in his pack and slinging an arm around her shoulders, his breathing hitching slightly too.
She didn't know how long they just sat there, breathing slowly becoming synced, melting more into his side till her head was resting against his chest. She leaned forward and loosened the neck piece and started undoing the straps that held the suit together, sighing softly when she got it partially open, having to stand to peel it the rest of the way off. She set it down by her bag and grabbed her sweats before sitting down next to him again.
'Stealth Boy's apparently do not have the level of regulation that the suits do. The government was in such a rush to duplicate the technology that they didn't stop to think about long term effects or rather they just didn't care from what I read. No one would live long enough for something like that to have the time to cause any kind of damage, right? It would take decades...hell, maybe centuries before that would happen. Near as I can understand from breaking down the mechanics of a stealth boy, it generally doesn't do much but the trace radiation from the fusion process and the long-term effect of the magnetic containment field used in the fusion cell might cause the bodies cells to slowly warp and degrade.'
'All in the name of good science.'
'Something like that. So if one's neurons were to become warped like that, it could cause a bunch of things...anxiety, paranoia...dementia. How much have you forgotten? Do you even know?'
(Thief - Our Lady Peace)
'From what I understood in my examination of the suit, the suit acts as a barrier to prevent that distortion...whatever they used to craft the material of the suit, there's a high nickel content, so it would act as a decent magnetic barrier, blocking most anything from the electromagnetic field generated. The electromagnetic field being what causes the stealth effect through bending the light spectrum.'
'God, you're sexy when you nerd out.'
Audra just blinked in shock, flushing brightly and ducking her head, losing her train of thought.
'You were my teacher for many of those years...'
When she glanced at him, he was frowning, obviously trying to remember and failing. Sighing softly before she could stop herself, grabbing her bag and pulling it over, carefully moving the wrapped bottles aside to pull out the last of Zao's gifts...a second stealth suit. She handed it to Deacon before digging the second helmet out.
'For you. Please stop using the stealth boys as much? It also might help to talk with Doctor Amari. She might be able to help me think of a way to curtail any additional damage and perhaps repair some of it.'
He just sat there in shock, looking at the suit. Audra grabbed her bedroll and lay it down with his, suddenly exhausted, laying down and watching his face as he looked at the suit. Eventually he laid it down with his bag and lay next to her, surprising her when his arm draped over her waist. They were just starting to fall asleep when she remembered she needed to ask him about Cole.
Maybe we can repair the neural pathways in his mind...maybe he would remember more then.
Audra dreamt, not the usual nightmares, instead, it was like when she was in Kellogg's memories. Except for this time she was in Deacon's head, running from memory to memory, trying to build something to connect the pathways.