Work Text:
Donhyun read the articles, the articles about Youngmin's rumoured girlfriend and "cheating". He could feel a strong rush of adrenaline inside him and his blood pressure shooting up causing him to feel dizzy and uneasy. Donghyun massages his head slightly while taking large breathe, trying to calm down. He feels like smashing the tablet in his hands. Everything is so wrong. The article. Every single part of it is so sickening. He knows Youngmin more than anyone, he knows him too well. Youngmin doesn't fucking have a girlfriend. The closest he has to a lover is he himself, kim donghyun. So who is this self claiming Youngmin's girlfriend bitch. And its so disgusting to see how the so called "fans" turning backs after reading the articles. The fact that they refused to vote for Youngmin just because he might has a girlfriend grosses him out, he think he might vomit. They, every single day,training endlessly for debut, dancing till their legs pass out ,reaching the high notes that is out of their range, pushing their limits again and again. When they finally got to stand on the stage they have dreamed of, when they finally got attention from the public, a dating news, a fake one even is enough to destroy all of that. Time, effort, tears, sweat and patience they poured in, for those who are bashing without knowing the real thing, do they know what are they ruining? Or, do they even care?
His Youngmin hyung that worked harder than anybody, that took care of them more than anybody, that deserves everybody's love. Donghyun saw the whole process how people slowly noticing Youngmin hyung, and how his ranking slowly rised. Even if that means their distance is getting further, donghyun didn't mind at all. All he could think of is how proud he is. He wants to show off Youngmin hyung to the world, he wants to show everybody that the person he likes, is so talented, so kind, so goodlooking, so precious. But looking at this mess now, he regretted his thoughts, he should have hid his Youngmin hyung well, he should have just keep Youngmin hyung to himself. He shouldn't be happy when Youngmin hyung was getting regconized, he should have known better, the more attention, the more dangerous it gets, just like what happened to their precious maknae, Daehwi. Being the centre, getting screentimes, none of it was expected, but they were happy, sincerely happy that at least one of them was able to make it, happy for their daehwi that they all cherished. But just a little evil editing was needed for the whole internet community to turn against the 16 year old boy. Donghyun remembered when he snatched away the tablet from Daehwi while Youngmin hyung pulled the sobbing boy into his arms. While hugging Woojin reassuring him everything will be okay, he knows, its not okay. He and Youngmin hated themselves for not being able to protect the younger ones, and the damage caused, its hard to heal. Words are like knives, even when the wound healed, there's always a scar left. When things are getting better for daehwi, when they all let their guards down, when Donghyun thought now its only left for him to do well enough…
He knew something was wrong when Rhymer, their ceo called Youngmin out during practice for a face-to-face meeting. He waited for Youngmin to come back. It didn't feel right, he just couldn't focus during practices, his heartbeat quickened unknowingly. But when Daehwi and Woojin came to ask him what happened with worried scrunched faces, he had to smile and reassure them everything is going to be alright. Donghyun tells himself everything is going to be fine. After about an hour, Youngmin returns to the practice room, and Donghyun feels his hanging heart finally goes back to normal when Youngmin steps into the practice room and smiles at him. The alpaca smile he loves.
"So what happened? Why are you called back to our company?" Donghyun asked.
"It's nothing." Youngmin smiles again. The uneasy feeling starts to bubble up in Donghyun again. Its impossible if nothing happened, but exactly what is it, why won't Youngmin hyung tell me?
"Hyung…"
"You will trust me right, Donghyunnie?" Youngmin cuts in before donghyun asks again.
"Of course, hyung. I trust you more than anyone."
"Trust me, I'll be okay." And he smiles again, wrapping Donghyun's hand in his warm ones. For once, Donghyun doesn't like that smile. Something must be really wrong.
After getting back to their dorm, the first thing he did was pulled out the tablet from his cupboard and searched on the internet.
"Im Youngmin from Produce101 is found out to be dating."
"Trainee Im Youngmin's girlfriend found out?"
"Proofs of trainee Im Youngmin is dating [pic]."
The only word he could think in his mind the moment he sees the search results of Im Youngmin is what the fuck. He has known youngmin for 3 years, he is clearer than anyone that youngmin is not dating. But whatever let's check out what bullshits they wrote. Impressed, he is definitely impressed by the story-making skills. But there's no defined evidences at all. A few instagram posts honestly doens't speak of anything. He was about to rest assured but he soon felt worried. He knows Youngmin hyung personally, so of course he won't believe this, but how big is the possibility of netizens to believe that article? Even if they don't believe it, too many hungry wolves of internet are just waiting for chances to attack them. In the end, true or false, does it really matters? When a small group starts to attack, the other follows, that's how netizens work. When he scrolled to the comment section, he gasped. The amount of negativity responses are overwhelming, his stomach clenched tightly. He feels like vomitting.His heart coldens. He looks at Youngmin which is doing his usual night routine, writing his diary. Youngmin turned to him, smiling again.
"Stop looking at me and go wash up and sleep." Annoying. That smile is so annoying. Being in a situation like this, having to face the betrayals of fans, being the hot topic on internet, why is he still smiling like an idiot. Why are you such an idiot! He wanted to shout at him. But he can't, he can't even bear looking at the shining smile now. It pricks his eyes. Donghyun grabbed his towel and slammed the bathroom door. He's mad, angry that Youngmin is getting attacked for no reason, mad that Youngmin is hiding his wound from him, he hates that he can't do anything in this situation. He hates Youngmin, but he hates himself more. His heart aches at the thought of youngmin having to force everything inside himself, having to keep smiling because he is the pillar of the Bnm boys, having to be strong no matter what.
However, the bad news don't seem to end. Next morning, Youngmin was called out urgently again. Donghyun renewed his search of Im Youngmin, hoping to see their company's official statement denying the rumours. As what he expected, he read the official statement released by BNM and felt better. But a new article was released, saying that Youngmin cheated for the concept assignment and fans sabotaging comments of higher ranking trainees. If yesterday's article made him feel sick , this made his blood pressure rushed to its highest. He trusts Youngmin no matter what, he doesn't hesitate at all. But what to do with youngmin's reputation. What if these ruined Youngmin's future, his idol career that haven't even really started? And once again, he has to watch everything happen in front of his eyes and do nothing. Now its not even the truth that matters.
He walks to the practice hall by himself , without the usual companion of Youngmin. Great, at least he doesn't have to see Youngmin acting if everything is fine and smiling like a stupid alpaca when he feels like everything inside him is twisted.
"Donghyuna, you should rest. You have been dancing nonstop for the whole morning." Donghan which is in the same team as donghyun drags Donghyun away from the dance practice room and brings him to the hall instead. Haha.Donghyun doesn't even like dancing that much. But he is thankful for all his teammates and friends that avoid talking about Youngmin's news, they all knew he and youngmin are inseparable and sticks together for most of the time. Knowing that he feels terrible too, although they are dead curious they didn't ask anything.They all sensed his unusualness and asked donghan to stop him from practicing.
"Youngmin hyung, he's innocent." Donghyun says after sipping a mouth of hot coffee.
"I know." Donghan comforts him by patting his shoulders. Even among trainees, most of them didn't believe that Youngmin cheated. The Youngmin hyung everybody knows are too kind to do so.
"He didn't date too."
"I will believe it if the news said his girlfriend is you."
Donghyun smacks Donghan's arms ,finally smiling for the first time in today.
"Seriously, we thought you guys were secretly dating or something."
"We're not, okay?" Donghyun rolls his eyes. Even if he loves youngmin. And pretty sure Youngmin loves him too.
Honestly Donghyun feels much better after talking with donghan. After a 15 minutes break, they decide its enough rest time and walk back to the practice room.
"Did you know about it? Youngmin hyung not only is dating but he also cheated, what a loser, he's ruined for sure."
A loud whisper goes into Donghyun's ears and he felt fire burning in his chest and burning his temper to its limit. The string of rationality just broke. He turns to the whisper's direction and grabbed xxx's collar.
"What did you just say?"
"Try saying it again." Donghyun says through his gritted teeth.
Donghan is totally stunned, he never seen the gentle Donghyun got angry. And he did not expect amgry donghyun to be this scary. Trainees start to gather around the scene. Little Woojin tugs at donghyun's shirt hem trying to calm Donghyun down while Daniel tries to separate both of them.
"I'm just saying the truth" xxx retorts after his collar getting free from donghyun's strong hands.
Donghyun clenches his fist.
"Shut up before you regret it."
"Hyung, don't.There's cameras." Donghan grabs Donghyun nervously.
Daehwi who rushed out from his practice room from news of the scene quickly runs to find Youngmin.
"Punch me and see, you'll end up like Daehwi or Youngmin." ××× challenges.
Donghyun was ready to punch him the moment he mentioned Daehwi and Youngmin. He holds up his fist.
"Donghyun! Don't." But he hears Youngmin's voice. He turns around and see Youngmin looking at him with Daehwi at his side. Daehwi is shaking his head. He feels a sudden rush of lethargy inside him the moment he locks eyes with youngmin. Right, he shouldn't be doing this. He lets go of all the energy he accumulates in his fist and walks away, his knees feeling weak. Youngmin chases over him and grabs his hand bringing him to the dorm.
"Do you know what were you doing?"
Donghyun keeps quiet.
Youngmin punches his fist on the wall.
"Hyung!" Donghyun grabs youngmin's hand to check his injury.
"What the hell are you doing?" Donghyun shouted to youngmin as tears blurred his eyes.
"Hyun you should never do something stupid for me. Just let me collapse by myself, Donghyun you, cannot be in trouble. I've failed to protect Daehwi. Not you, if anything happens to you I'll rather kill myself. That's how important you are to me. So please, don't …" Donghyun presses his lips on Youngmin and angrily bites on youngmin's lips. Youngmin is beyond shocked when he felt donghyun's soft lips slamming on his, and he soon feels pain stimulating his nerves. Youngmin smiles at his way of abreaction. It hurts, but it feels good. Its obvious, their hearts for each other. After these years, they are finally facing their true feelings for each other. Donghyun is biting but he actually isn't using much strength, he doesn't really want to see youngmin bleed again.Youngmin takes advantage to deepen the kiss and Donghyun has no time to react. Just when his rationality starts finding its way back, the deepening kiss made his mind felt struck by electricity and went totally blank. He slowly melts into Youngmin's arms as he closes his eyes and enjoys the soft fiery feeling on his lips and the magical feeling going on in his stomach.
The moment their lips part Donghyun instantly got pulled into a tight embrace. He buries his head at Youngmin's shoulders while breathing in the familiar washing powder smell from his shirt and a slight scent of musk.
"Hyung, aren't I reliable enough?"
"No, you are the person i trust the most." Youngmin answers while patting his head.
"Then why do you keep smiling to me even when you are in a situation like this? I hate it so much when you always have to keep everything to yourself."
"I had to, how can i not smile at you? You are the best thing that happened to me. What's the point of being upset? I can't change anything, I can't stop the rumours. All I can do is continue smiling and do my best, try not to collapse, I promised to be the the wall to shield you all, remember?"
"When I heard Daehwi saying you were going to be in a fight because of me, I sweared to myself if anything happened to you I will never forgive myself.
If mnet wants to ruin you, they can just broadcast the clip of you punching another trainee and .... I were so so scared when i rushed to the hall, afraid that the fight started. And how relieved i were when I saw your fists loosens after I called out your name."
"Idiot." Donghyun mumbles.
"I heard it."
"You have me."
"I know."
"Stop smiling."
"Okay."
"I love you."
"I love you too." Youngmin plants a kiss on donghyun's forehead while a tear rolls down his cheek.
"Hyung , you have us too. We love you too hyung! Gain strength!"
They both turned their heads to the unlocked door they totally forgot about and only saw dusts flying as Woojin and Daehwi fled away immediately after some spying (out of concern).
Youngmin feels insecure too,
he feels scared about his future too,
he fears the bashing from netizens too,
sometimes he doesn't feel like smiling,
sometimes he feels tired,
sometimes he wonders does hardwork really pays off,
sometimes he wonders does being kind brings good results,
sometimes he hates himself for not being able to be a reliable hyung for his dongsaengs ,
But its okay, because he knows, he has donghyun.
Donghyun told him :"You have me."
Oh yeah, he has Woojin and Daehwi too. :)