Chapter Text
Your name is Magnus Burnsides and you have two goofy best friends, a gorgeous goldfish, and a wonderful large dog. You’ve had a happy life, but it's always felt wrong.
Towering buildings made of steel and glass, metal boxes zooming by at high speeds, explosions that can level cities in milliseconds, and impossibly heavy things that can somehow soar through the air.
It’s all natural, it's been here all your life, but it feels so wrong sometimes. You never voice these thoughts of course. They would think you crazy, probably even Merle and Taako, even though you’ve known each other forever. There's something inside that tells you to tell no one. To keep your mouth shut to keep yourself safe.
That someone else knows about you and wants to hurt you.
You don’t know why. If you think about too much these thoughts turn to static and make your mind fuzzy and make you want to pull your brain out of your ears just to make it stop.
But life goes on. You work your blue collar job in carpentry, you care for your goldfish, Steven, and your dog, Julia. You spend time with Taako and Merle and keep your mouth shut and live your life in silence.
You get up on a fine Saturday morning with the sun shining on you and a dog licking your face. It feels like a regular day, other than a slight chill running across your forearms. You make yourself a simple breakfast alone in your apartment.
You meet Taako and Merle later for lunch. You're walking together away from the small restaurant, and Taako is enthusiastically describing what had happened last night while he was working as a chef, when you realize there's no one around anymore. The sidewalks which were littered with people are ominously empty, and all the shops are closed up. The wind blows ominously and it feels almost darker in this alley, the chill from this morning creeps up your arms. You look over at Merle and Taako and they seem to be feeling it too.
“Hey, you guys I think we should go back, I think this alley is closed.” drawls Taako casually, but a glance at his face shows that he’s more worried than he’s letting on. His long hair is being blown out of place. Merle looks nervous as well, and about thirty feet away a giant portal open. An honest to god portal, like this is some kind of video game.
Out of the portal come two dark figures, almost the shape of cats, but much, much larger. They’re about 5 feet tall, taller than Merle, and very long. They're sleek, blue black and catlike, like panthers, but they have six legs like an insect, and two tentacles sprout from their shoulders with pads at their ends spiked with teeth like protrusions.
“What the shit.” says Merle, and you couldn’t agree more. The large beats growl and begin to circle the three of you.
Taako looks scared out of his mind, like he wants to run and live another day, but he’s afraid any movement will alert these beasts to attack. He’s breathing heavy, borderline hyperventilating when he pulls an umbrella out of literally nowhere and points it at the creatures, he looks terrified as he screams,
“Evard’s black tentacles!” he shouts, and from the ground erupt black tentacles, wrapping the beasts up and restraining them. You and Merle look over at Taako who looks to be on the edge of a mental breakdown.
Merle backs away from the mass of tentacles ensnaring the two beasts, eyes wide.
Your ears are ringing loudly with a sound that doesn’t exist physically. You feel like you’re on the edge of a cliff, adrenaline and fear charging within you.
Something whispers to you.
Crush the gem.
‘The gem?’
Crush the gem in your pocket.
‘Theres a gem in my pocket?’
Break it and say these words, Magnus Burnsides,
You slip a blue gem out of your pocket and say
“Flaming poisoning raging sword of doom!” and a large sword appears in your hands, wreathed in flames that don't scald your hands, and an ominous poison leaks from the blade.
What. the. Shit.