yllz0613



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?”

    “Okay,” Hollander says, voice cracking.

    He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.

    A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.

    Series
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    28/28
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    11 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    "He wants to say, yes, tell me everything you have ever thought, tell me everything about you, tell me the first time you ate ice cream, tell me your worst broken bone, tell me your grandmother’s name, tell me when you learned to jerk off, tell me if you have ever thought you hated me and how I can fix that."

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “I was thinking about the honeymoon phase thing.”
    “Yes?” Ilya said.
    “I think it’s different for us. I don’t want us to be all blissful and then only start fighting when we’re back to barely seeing each other. I think it’s good if we figure things out now, when we have the time. Whatever needs figuring out. So we have a solid foundation going into the season. Sort of like training camp.”
    “So this means you will keep getting mad at me for things,” Ilya said.
    Shane smiled, rolled his eyes. “Yeah, exactly,” he said.
    “Good, I find it very hot,” Ilya said, and kissed him.

    An insecure over-thinker and a self-destructive thrill-seeker walk into a relationship.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,384
    Chapters:
    5/5
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    29 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    live isn’t enough but it is enough reason, enough motivator

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane is heavier than he used to be; his weight bears down on Ilya in a new way. He’s put on pounds of muscle since Ilya last touched him like this. Ilya flattens his palms, skims them under Shane’s undershirt, feels the flat solidity of his abs, the bulk of his lats, the swell of his chest. It’s the same and it’s new, this body; it’s the boy he couldn’t stop thinking about when he was 18 and the man he loved enough to let go at 26 and the person who somehow always comes to find him when he’s lost.

    A stranger, and the love of his life.

     

    or, Ilya's father doesn't die in 2017; Ilya breaks up with Shane instead of confessing his love. They get older, but not any less stupid about each other. Shane gets a boyfriend; Ilya gets on medication; they work on becoming whole people. And they always find their way back to each other.

    OR a story for those who love Shane and Ilya's baby love but ALSO think it's hot when people in their thirties make active choices about who they are and what they want in their partner!!

    Note: the "cheating" tag refers to the relationship between Shane and his aforementioned BF, not to Shane and Ilya cheating on each other.

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    70,339
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    11/11
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    28 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Yoongi won’t pretend to understand Namjoon, but the way Namjoon pretends to understand him makes his skin crawl.

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    15 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    they have know each other for 16 years 💔

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    "Listen, Mr. Rozanov." The general manager is talking out of the side of his mouth, his cigarette dropping ashes all over the hotel table. "We like you. We want you. We understand you are putting yourself under a fair amount of risk here, meeting with us like this. I hope it's obvious that if you play for us, we will set you up for a good life in Canada."

    He pauses, looks Ilya in the eye. "But you have to understand, if you agree to this, you have to be prepared to leave with us right now."

    Red Army superstar Ilya Rozanov defects from the Soviet Union. A Cold War-era hockey AU

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
    6/6
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    15 Mar 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    giving up takes courage (never in my life I expected to see and read something tagged Cold War AU but here we are)