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  1. Saltburn (2023) (2)

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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Sweetheart, your pretty little head is so silly. For every photocard I make of ugly hockey men, I make two of my gorgeous, radiant, pulchritudinous boyfriend. Sometimes three.”

    A smile breaks through the heated haze of Shane’s expression. “You’ve been using the thesaurus Dad got you for Christmas?”

    “I will beat Yuna Hollander at Scrabble one day,” Ilya declares against Shane’s hip bone.

    In the year between the Cottage and the Centaurs, Ilya misses Shane more than ever. Svetlana’s teenage cousin offers a coping method: Kpop-style Shane Hollander photocards to stare at all day long. It's a shame carrying around pictures of fellow hockey players is just not socially acceptable.

    …At least, not yet.
     
    (AKA: Ilya's mission to desensitize the hockey world to his Hollander fanboyisms, and the NHL players that suffer for it.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,708
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    377
    Kudos:
    3,815
    Bookmarks:
    1,241
    Hits:
    36,566

    11 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov has a "tiny car accident" (his words). Shane Hollander has a full-scale, system-shutdown panic attack about it. Meanwhile, a horrified Hayden is praying for someone to throw him in a lake and tell him that this is all just a big joke, or maybe for a meteor strike; he is really not picky. J.J., on the other hand, is trying to bleach the image of his sweet captain making out with Ilya fucking Rozanov from his brain.

    It's a very normal day for the Montreal Voyageurs.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,868
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    662
    Kudos:
    36,595
    Bookmarks:
    6,445
    Hits:
    303,077

    09 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    He’s already in the room, shutting the door behind himself as quietly as he can before he realises that not only is there someone other than Shane in the room, but there are three someones other than Shane.

    And, as if he hasn’t already fucked up spectacularly, the someones happen to be the Hollanders and Hayden fucking Pike.

     

    // or; Ilya visits Shane in the hospital and meets his parents. He's traumatized and grieving, everything hurts, and Shane takes after his mother.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,398
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,216
    Kudos:
    36,891
    Bookmarks:
    8,871
    Hits:
    260,950

    08 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya gets his bell rung while playing for Ottawa against Montreal

    He forgets how to speak English and can only speak Russian

    Luckily, Shane Hollander, the light of his life, has learned Russian

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,490
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    114
    Kudos:
    8,810
    Bookmarks:
    1,522
    Hits:
    62,080

    08 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    @rozysgirl: GUYSSJSJAJA I’M BEHIND ILYA ROZANOV IN A GROCERY STORE

    @rozysgirl: Wait I can see his phone

    @rozysgirl: Let me see If I can read it

    @bearlover: Yo girl don't do that wtf

    @livebreathhckey: Get away from him your weirdo

    @rozysgirl: Oh thats not-

    @livebreathhckey: bitch don't start vague posting right now

    @rozysgirl: Okay guys I was being funny and all but I think this is really serious. Doesn't it looks like hes talking to a teenager or something?

    OR

    Conversations between Ilya and Jane are leaked all over the internet. In the course of a few hours, chaos was installed and everyone was conviced Rozanov is dating a minor

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,310
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    75
    Kudos:
    3,480
    Bookmarks:
    358
    Hits:
    18,122

    02 Jun 2026