xistentialqueer
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The sound that Eddie makes is mortifying. It’s kind of like a whimper, but mostly he’s just crying. “Buck, I think I’m dying.”
“You’re not dying.”
“Don’t judge me,” Eddie heaves, “but I’m so horny I think I’m dying.”
Bookmarked by xistentialqueer
08 Jul 2026
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Eddie recaps this in his head a couple more times and he’s — jealous. Fuck, he’s jealous. That’s the word for it, the heat coiling deep in his gut, his whole body wound like a spring about to snap.
Jealousy.
Which is a bizarre emotion to feel about your best friend sleeping with someone. Jealousy implies ownership, implies wanting, implies — implies that 1) Eddie is not straight, and 2) he is possibly in love with his best friend and maybe possibly wants to suck said best friend’s dick about it.
Alright — okay. Eddie feels like he needs to sit with that for a second, give it the space it deserves.
Eddie wants to suck a dick attached to a person who is a man.
Not just any dick, either. Buck’s dick. His best friend.
Huh.
He expected that to feel weirder. He expected sirens, maybe, or a crisis, or at minimum a dramatic internal monologue about his Catholic upbringing and the sanctity of heterosexuality.
Instead, there’s nothing. The sirens are silent, the crisis doesn’t come, and Eddie wants to suck his best friend’s cock. Non-platonically.
Or,
Eddie moves back to LA, finds out Buck slept with Tommy, and reacts accordingly.Bookmarked by xistentialqueer
08 Jul 2026
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“Eddie, I’m in love with you,” he says, heart thrumming in his chest, in his throat, in his mouth. He feels hot and cold and dizzy by turns.
“What?” asks Eddie faintly, barely even a question.
“I’m in love with you,” Buck says again. “I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to, but I am. I am.”
“You– Right, okay,” says Eddie, so visibly buffering that it makes Buck’s heart clench a little in his chest. Of course he’s in love with Eddie. How could he possibly have let himself pretend otherwise. “Wasn’t expecting this, bud,” says Eddie, and he sounds so shocked that Buck can’t help a wry smile. Of course Eddie’s surprised. They must be the only two people in existence who didn’t already know. “I– Buck, man, you know that I care about you, but…”
“I know,” he says gently to Eddie, because he did know, but that doesn't make this moment hurt any less.
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Post season 8, Buck confesses his feelings, Eddie lets him down as gently as he can, and they both try to figure out how to be just friends.
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Bookmarked by xistentialqueer
08 Jul 2026
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So he curls his fingers around the wood of his clipboard and clears his throat. “You have really nice hands, you know,” is what he goes with.
Eddie jerks back just a bit, dropping the halligan into the compartment with a thud as he turns shocked eyes back to Buck. “What?”
“Yeah,” god, what does he even say, “they’re uh, strong. And capable. You know, like…they can do a lot of things.”
Okay, so, maybe this whole plan needs a little bit of work.
buck is on a mission to help eddie recover his self-confidence. it goes well for exactly zero parties involved.
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Bookmarked by xistentialqueer
08 Jul 2026
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During Eddie's first shift with the 118, Buck feels threatened by the new alpha in the pack and he acts like a complete jerk.
He assumes Eddie hates him after that.
But for some reason, Eddie keeps showing up with courting presents.
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Bookmarked by xistentialqueer
07 Jul 2026