willoaf
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Ash feels some of his anxiety break apart, and some of that longing come creeping back in. It’s hard to feel disgusted by himself when Eiji’s looking at him like that.
“What if…” Ash trails off, his eyes traveling down Eiji’s face, over his shoulders and neck. Eiji is looking at him expectantly, with a boyish wonder that makes Ash’s stomach tighten.
“What if I said I wanted to kiss you so bad it hurts? I can’t stop staring at every part of you and…and I just want so bad. What then?” Ash is aware they’ve drifted closer, and he’s shaking a bit. He can’t discern if this is okay or not, if he’s somehow seduced Eiji into this. If he’s allowed to have wants. All those hard lines he’s put in place for himself get so fuzzy around Eiji. He doesn’t even know who Ash Lynx is anymore, when he’s staring into lidded brown eyes. Bad, good, pure, deviant. The waters are muddied, and Ash knows it’s dangerous. But sweet sanguine drips down his throat, deep and warm, and he wants to drown in it.
Or
Loving someone so much it hurtsBookmarked by willoaf
26 Jun 2026
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Summary
Returning home to find Eiji waiting for him is something Ash selfishly treasures. In the haven of their apartment, he can pretend he is leaving at the door everything that makes his life a living hell.
But sometimes, Ash returns wearing on his skin the unmistakable evidence of what he has to do in order to keep their sanctuary safe.
He’s never so ashamed with himself than when he can’t keep it hidden from Eiji.
Or: Ash comes home with blood on his hands, and Eiji is there to wipe it off.
Bookmarked by willoaf
26 Jun 2026
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The lines between friendship and something more blur when Ash begins to initiate spur-of-the-moment make-outs that they never address. Eiji is left wondering if they will ever talk about it, and if Ash truly feels the same way about him or not.
(Spoiler alert, he does)Bookmarked by willoaf
19 Jun 2026
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In a world where Banana Fish doesn't exist, Griffin Callenreese comes back home from the war to find out his younger brother had run away.
Years later, Griffin sits with his best friend, Max, listening the story of the beginning of a photographer's assistant and a gang boss' unlikely friendship.
Bookmarked by willoaf
18 Jun 2026
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he is half of my soul, as the poets say by biolence
Fandoms: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
06 May 2026
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“Ash.” Eiji asks softly, rising to his feet. “Are you alright?”
Ash stays silent for one long, terrible moment. When he finally does reply, his voice shakes. “You’d think I’d be used to it by now.” He pulls his hands from his face to wrap his arms around himself, refusing to look his friend in the eye. “But I still feel so fucking filthy.”
It takes a moment for the words to register, and when they do they land like a heavy stone in Eiji's stomach. His heart throbs, throat burns. He had his suspicions, what happened with Foxx before Ash escaped, but having them confirmed just makes him want to hurl and scream and wrap his hands around that bastard's throat all the more. He takes a step towards Aslan, reaching out tentatively to lay a hand on his bicep. “It’s not your fault.”
“Everyone always says that.” Ash swallows, and tears shine in his eyes. He’s still refusing to meet his gaze. “But it doesn’t change anything.”
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It's terrifying, owning such a precious thing as Ash’s trust and vulnerability. But loving Ash isn’t. Holding him isn’t. It’s as second nature as breathing for Eiji, has been since the moment they met, and that makes it all just a little bit easier.
Bookmarked by willoaf
16 Jun 2026