thebackwardsstep



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Recent series

  1. Summary

    Carole dies when Bradley is two years old and he's left to be raised by his dad and Uncle Mav. When a deployment goes wrong three years later and Goose is killed in action, on the mission Maverick was supposed to fly, young Bradley is left to be raised by the only person he has left, and Mav has to learn to balance his own grief with this precious responsibility.

    Words:
    28,305
    Works:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    19
  2. Words:
    96,703
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    54

Recent bookmarks

  1. Rec 16

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    Summary

    Teddy is thirty-three when he wants someone for the first time. He is sure it will kill him. Desire catches him off-guard, makes him falter like never before. It doesn't happen at first sight like most of the fairytales. He falls for Jonathan slowly, hopelessly.

    or,

    Teddy gets a second chance at life. He is determined to make it worth it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,971
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    124
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    874

    06 Jul 2026

  2. Rec 23

    Tags
    Summary

    The hold Jonathan has on him is unnerving. Teddy wants to keep him, even though he knows he is not worthy. He is no good for the man. Hell, he is practically the reason why Jonathan wakes up screaming at night.

    He never brings it up in the morning, neither does Jonathan. What happens at night doesn't get mentioned during the day. It's a silent agreement they have established.

    or,

    In which, Teddy and Jonathan shack up together, battle their demons, and finally come to terms with how much they need each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,476
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    199
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    1,594

    06 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 36

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    Summary

    After years of pushing away and locking up his omega instincts, meeting atsushi had made a war start with himself as to not go all mama mode on the boy

    But when atsushi added kyouka to the mix it became a losing battle against his instincts and Dazai starts failing miserably

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,705
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    353
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    2,979

    04 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 41

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    Summary

    Good health was not something Dazai had even been blessed with, a fact that had caused such pain. The only people who had ever seen him in that state took advantage of it, of him, one way or another. This time will be no different, he was sure of it.

    Whumptober prompt 2+24
    Neglect + Thermometer, delirium

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,105
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    331
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    3,521

    04 May 2026

  5. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Now I have neither happiness nor unhappiness.

    Everything passes.

    That is the one and only thing that I have thought resembled a truth in the society of human beings where I have dwelled up to now as in a burning hell.

    Everything passes.”

    -

    Glimpses from the memory of Osamu Dazai.
    Please enjoy, reader, the story of his life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,540
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    114
    Kudos:
    668
    Bookmarks:
    119
    Hits:
    13,788

    12 Sep 2025

    Bookmarker's Notes

    This was a darker read than what im used to. But this author captures dispare and hopelessness so well. The horrors of what happened to Dazai in this story never leave and infect every aspect of his life. The structure takes on a an interesting approach as you’re reminded that this is a retelling of a dark past blended with his eventual escape (but the way we get there is both surprising in his tragedy and something that has been seeded in every chapter until that point).

    I this was a hard read for topic but a rewarding one for execution.