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    One mundane evening, an awkward, wide-eyed teenager with strange enhanced abilities tumbles into Tony’s office and claims he is from the year 2017, twelve years into the future.
    Tony doesn’t really do kids. Or whack jobs. So a combination of the two is a challenge.
    But when has Tony ever backed down from a challenge?

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    18 Jun 2026

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    “That was a disaster. The press is having a field day.”
    “It wasn’t my fault,” Tony defends. “That Spider-Guy never knows when to shut up. He distracted me.”
    “Your reputation took a blow,” Pepper tells him. “Which will be fixed, of course. I’ve already set it up.”
    “Set what up? What, am I going to make flower arrangements with the elderly?”
    Pepper slides a piece of paper towards him. “Try an orphan. His name is Peter Parker. His biggest dream is to meet you. But…” She hesitates.
    “But?”
    “Apparently he doesn’t talk much. Sometimes not at all. Trauma-related.”
    “A smart kid who doesn’t talk? Perfect combination. If only all my employees were like that.”
    ---
    Or: Between Peter Parker barely speaking, and Spider-Man being the ultimate chatterbox, how was Tony ever supposed to figure out that they were one and the same person?

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    27 May 2026

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    A story about coffee, carjackers, and co-dad management.
    Spider-Man is unpredictable and chaotic, never says no to free food and seems to spend most his time directing traffic. This rookie is in desperate need of a chaperone. And Tony doesn’t want to do it, but he’ll bear the burden as gracefully as he always does.
    Local teen Peter Parker never wears warm enough clothes, and can’t always sleep at home for reasons he refuses to go into. So if the Avengers really expect Sam to join their hippie-commune-cult, someone is going to have to look after this kid for him.

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    17 Jun 2026

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    It all started the way it usually did; with Tony doubting his own sanity.
    “Happy,” he said, turning the paper over, then turning it back, squinting at it. “What the hell is this?”
    Happy barely glanced up from his phone. “How should I know? I just drive you around, I don’t try to understand your designs. You’re the one who left it in the back of the car yesterday.”
    Tony turned the paper towards Happy, tapping a finger against the scribbles in the margin. “I didn’t write that. I thought it, but I didn’t write it. What sorcery is this?”
    “Oh shit, sorry,” Happy said, expression resigned. “I’m guessing the kid went through them when I drove him to school this morning. He has no regard for personal boundaries.”
    “The kid.”
    “Um— My girlfriend, she has a—“
    “Your stepson did these calculations?”
    “That’s not entirely—“
    “Bring him to me,” Tony commanded.

     

    podfic available

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    17 Jun 2026

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    “I know all about your secret identity.”
    A beat of silence. “Um,” Peter said, bunching his sweater in his hands. “Which… which one?”
    --
    Peter has three secret identities: Spider-Man, the superhero who swings around the city to save people. Parker Benjamin, who gives Tony Stark unsolicited advice on his research. And NightMonkey, the Instagrammer who keeps uploading increasingly popular but embarrassing drawings of Iron Man.
    And he can juggle them all just fine, thankyouverymuch.

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    27 May 2026

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