stebedonnet
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Recent works
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Summary
Stede Bonnet, the son of a wealthy Manhattan real estate tycoon, has no interest in taking over the family business. Recently divorced after coming out as gay and in full mid-life crisis mode, he purchases and opens his own cocktail lounge, The Gentleman Pirate. There's just one problem- he has absolutely no idea what he's doing.
As luck would have it, his antics attract the attention of Brooklyn's local legend Edward Teach, renowned mixologist and owner of Bushwick's hottest goth bar, The Lovecraft. In between bartending lessons and Ed's secret side hustle as a pseudonymous erotica writer, the two men find more than they bargained for in one another. -
gold-skinned eager baby, blue shirt out the laundry by extremely_unfocused, stebedonnet
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
16 Jul 2023
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Stede’s never been any good at gift giving.
It didn’t matter who it was for, or what holiday they were celebrating, it just wasn’t in his nature— but after 15 years of disappointing birthday presents back to back, Stede is beyond determined to make Alma’s 16th birthday a year to remember— and what better gift to give than VIP tickets to her favorite alt-rock band?
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When all was said and done, there was nothing left of The Revenge but charred remains.
Ed had done all he could.
He’d fought for it, he’d bled for it— done fucking everything imaginable to try and keep the flames from devouring the ship whole, but it hadn’t been enough... -
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When an old captain of Ed's visits the crew of the Revenge unexpectedly, taking a particular liking to Stede, Ed finds himself consumed by an unfamiliar feeling. Stede belongs to HIM. And he'll make sure he doesn't forget it.
or alternate: Ed has never dealt with jealousy like this in his life and it makes him go a bit mad lmaooo.
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Stede Bonnet finally knows what he wants and needs. He wants and needs Ed. Problem is, in typical Stede fashion, he failed to imagine the consequences of his actions prior to his revelation. Finding his crew marooned and his ship gone, how the hell does he fix what's broken?
Basically season 2 if I wrote it lmao.
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Ed finds Stede's journal, describing all the things he wants to learn about sex between men but doesn't dare ask about. Ed, of course, feels he's the exact right person to offer practical demonstrations on the subject.
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A season 1 canon-divergence AU set after The Art of Fuckery
Bookmarked by stebedonnet
10 May 2026
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pirates in waiting and storms to be tamed by suchgreatheights
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
02 Apr 2026
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To the world, the anonymous artist Blackbeard is brilliant, famous, and mysterious. To Ed, the years-long career is a crushing weight flattening him into nothing. Desperate for a change, he begins a new chapter as an art professor at a tiny little liberal arts university, where he is captivated by a history professor with an affinity for pirates.
Ed falls a little bit in love. Then a lot.
Stede is exactly the sort of person who belongs in the world of elite academia. Where Ed has never felt like more of an imposter, Stede welcomes him in with unchecked enthusiasm. He is unique, and he is dazzling, and he turns Ed's entire world golden.
And then he falls in love with Ed too, and Ed’s life begins to change.
Across the academic year, light and color flood his world, spill onto his canvases, and illuminate parts of himself he's never even dared to explore. Stede is at the center of it all, loving Ed the way Ed never knew he could be loved, teaching him how to find hope in the darkness—and how quickly the darkness closes in again when the light threatens to vanish.
Series
Bookmarked by stebedonnet
31 Jan 2026
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Edward Teach is woken up on New Year's Day by a phone call requesting his professional services. The request is just odd enough to pique his curiosity.
Bookmarked by stebedonnet
04 Jan 2026
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Five times Ed and Stede got off alone, and one time they got off together.
Or, Season 1 retold via the medium of wanks.
Bookmarked by stebedonnet
28 Nov 2025
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Ed has been cursed with snakes for hair for a century now. Mostly he spends his days moping in his caves and turning would-be heroes to stone. Until a prince of Sparta comes along that might just be Ed's match.
Series
- Part 11 of Smutty Gentlebeard not-quite-one shots
Bookmarked by stebedonnet
24 Nov 2025