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    “Are you… are you saying that you want to be in a relationship with Shane Hollander?” The room held a sort of tension, like everyone in it was holding their breath, waiting for Ilya to vehemently deny it.

    The reporter had taken his words in the complete opposite way than Ilya had meant them, but he supposed he was too committed to stop now. “Of course not.”

    “Of course.” The reporter parroted, laughing nervously.

    “Obviously, we are already in a relationship.”

    In Ilya’s rookie season, he impulsively jokes about dating Shane to an invasive reporter. Then, he just… keeps doing it, since publicly announcing it enough times that everyone writes it off as a joke is a great way to hide a clandestine relationship.

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    13 Jul 2026

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    “-can’t see each other again,” Ilya says, looking only at Shane’s hand, holding it so, so gently and stroking over Shane’s skin so, so softly. The soothing feeling of it makes it very hard to focus, but Shane tries very hard to do it anyway. “I tried-we tried, but this can’t happen again.” It takes a moment, but Shane finally manages to make sense of the words, and he lets out a soft noise of understanding.

    Ah. He’s apologizing that he won’t be able to see Shane in the hospital again before he leaves.

    “I understand,” he says, and he does. It was probably really hard for Ilya to get here even once, and it can’t be very long before his plane leaves. He’s sad, of course–they didn’t even get to spend time together, really–but it’s not like this will be the last chance they ever have to see each other. He gives Ilya his best attempt at a smile, and if it comes out a little sad, too, all Ilya does is reach out to stroke the backs of his fingers gently over his cheek.

    (ilya goes through with his plan to break up with shane in the hospital) (the problem? shane is too high to understand that he's being broken up with)

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    11 Jul 2026

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    He gnaws at the guilt of his own actions the way Anya does her chew toys for days after, Shane clearly picking up on something going on with him but also giving him space to work it over in his head until he’s ready to share.

    Right up until they’re out at team dinner and the two other smokers at the table excuse themselves for a smoke outside and Shane looks to him expectantly-

    -only to frown when Ilya stays where he is.

    (how and why ilya finally gives up smoking)

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    11 Jul 2026

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    “Go?” Rozanov repeats, and Shane thinks he manages to nod, thinks he manages to spin some kind of excuse that he knows Rozanov doesn’t really buy, but he needs to go. He needs to get out of here. He needs to find somewhere quiet and calm where he can ride out this panic and painful tightness until he can catch his breath again. He needs-

    He needs to go.

    “I’m sorry,” he says, turning heel and resisting the urge to just book it right for the front door only because he’d rather not have to explain to Hayden why he returned from a hookup with Boston Lily in men’s clothes that he certainly didn’t leave in.

    It’s not until he makes it halfway up the stairs to Rozanov’s bedroom that it occurs to him in a cold rush that it isn’t just anxiety that makes it this hard to breathe.

    “No,” he tells himself firmly, white knuckling the bannister and trying to take a deep breath just to prove that he can.

    It wheezes.

    (how the tuna meltdown is averted through the power of food allergies and anaphylaxis)

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    11 Jul 2026

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    Shane should be here right now, should be in Ilya’s house. Ilya should be teasing him about being picky while going through delivery options for food on his phone. Shane should be discovering that Ilya has ginger ale in the fridge and the protein bars Shane mentioned liking in an interview in his pantry. He should be making out with Shane on the couch, sneaking a hand into his pants, teasing him about whether they can beat the deliveryman and arrive before he does. Shane was supposed to spend the night tonight, the Montreal team not set to leave until tomorrow afternoon because of potential bad weather in the morning. Shane should be fed and showered and ready to curl up in bed with Ilya tonight.
    But Shane is in a hospital.

    And Ilya is here.

    He pulls up Jane in his phone again. He presses call.

    “Hey, you’ve reached Shane Hollander-”

    Ilya closes his eyes and lets Shane’s voice roll over him.

    (canon divergence in which shane getting injured happens during a game in boston) (...which means shane then gets to go home with ilya to recover)

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    05 Jul 2026