shadowcj
Recent bookmarks
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the toughest part is that we both know (what happened to you, why you’re out on your own) by barnes_romzanov
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
30 May 2026
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Summary
Ilya wasn’t trying to kill himself that night. Suicide is something that belongs to his mother- he’s just lazy, and he wishes Shane would stop making excuses for him.
Shane has everything under control. His body is a tool, the one that’s given him both his career and his relationship, and he wishes Ilya would stop prying into the way he maintains it.
or: Ilya learns a whole lot more about his mother, Shane remembers a whole lot more about his childhood, and they both get diagnosed.
Series
- Part 3 of Merry Christmas, Please Don't Call
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 42,425
- Chapters:
- 6/18
- Comments:
- 576
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- 2,234
- Bookmarks:
- 634
- Hits:
- 40,639
Bookmarked by shadowcj
08 Mar 2026
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say something batshit crazy (i'll do it, don't you make me) by yrsaffectionately
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
15 Jan 2026
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Summary
lily @shanehollanderstop
i’ll say it because i am not afraid of losing my job: roger crowell is a piece of shit and should never know peace in his life ever again. my name is hayden pike and i play for the montreal voyageurs.
💬 29.5K 🔄 113.1K ❤️ 513.4Kor
Ilya joins stan twitter
Series
- Part 2 of hollanov social media fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,392
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 831
- Kudos:
- 17,771
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- 2,942
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- 144,056
Bookmarked by shadowcj
20 Feb 2026
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Summary
After their engagement, Ilya and Shane return to Russia under the cover of the Irina Foundation, knowing it may be the last time Ilya ever sets foot there. What waits for him is not closure, but grief, memory, and a past he learned to survive by becoming quiet and hard.
It isn’t about going back to the life he escaped.
It’s about one final goodbye—to the place that shaped him, and to the mother he never stopped missing.With Shane beside him—steady, patient, and fiercely careful—Ilya faces grief he’s spent years surviving, old fear that still lives in his bones, and the quiet truth he’s been avoiding:
some doors don’t close cleanly… but you can still choose how to leave them.This is a story about grief, survival, and choosing a future where home is no longer a place, but a person.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 45,716
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 157
- Kudos:
- 1,485
- Bookmarks:
- 757
- Hits:
- 44,387
Bookmarked by shadowcj
18 Jan 2026
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Summary
“I like it,” he says weakly. “I like it, I like you holding me like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like you own me.”
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or; They're falling in love. They can't have it, even if they can have each other, just for a little while.Series
- Part 1 of Мой сладкий мальчик
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,495
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 965
- Kudos:
- 19,208
- Bookmarks:
- 5,564
- Hits:
- 286,887
Bookmarked by shadowcj
16 Dec 2025
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Summary
This wasn’t anything new for you– on the contrary, you’d sucked Sebastian off enough times to know how he liked it, what made him crumble in your hands and sing praises of your name. But Mallowsweet hadn’t been a factor then, and you hesitated for a moment as you considered whether or not you were taking advantage of him like this. You looked up at him once more, the question hanging silently in the air, and with the enthusiasm of a puppy Sebastian nodded hungrily.
Alternatively summarized as you and Sebastian getting high and fooling around
Bookmarked by shadowcj
06 Oct 2025