perksofbeingabandmember



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Over the course of the three days, there are plenty of opportunities to tell Shane about Moscow.

    There’s dinner the first night. They’re having pasta and salmon and Ilya’s whining about the amount of chicken and beef they’ll have to eat now that bulking season is approaching. Shane says well, they’re high protein foods. Like Ilya isn’t also a professional athlete who’s been doing this for just as long as he has. That’s not what he shoots back, though. He says, lamb is a great source of protein but we never have lamb. Okay, good lamb’s hard to find. You know what has lamb? Pelmeni! We should get Russian take out sometime soon, Shane says. I’ve always wanted to try. And always means nothing in this sentence, because always is only as long as they’ve known each other for.

    Forget about take out, Ilya could say then. The best pelmeni can only be found in the motherland. Russia, Moscow! I am going there in ten days for a box of my dead-dad’s things and maybe, my dead-mother’s suicide note. But of course, he doesn’t.

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    13 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Sometimes, I wish he was a worse person,” Ilya admits one night, while he and Yuna are doing the dishes. Shane and Ilya had come over for chicken parmesan, and it had been a lovely dinner, right up until David, clearing the plates, mentioned that he had met a guy at the store the other day who was a big fan of Shane’s, had a kid who idolized him.

    David asked if Shane could sign a piece of merchandise for him, maybe record a video. Shane said yes, because he had a rule, about doing things for child fans. Now, Shane was off shooting a video while Ilya did the dishes, and Ilya already knew the way it would require Shane to drag his public face up from the depths of his stomach, the work it would take him to shed it afterwards, the way it would taint this evening.

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    10 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 51

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    Canon + Vampires AU where newly turned vampire Shane gets shown the ropes by born vampire Ilya

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    10 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov likes blondes. This is a known fact. It makes things easier somehow—safer. Like math. Girls Ilya likes = blonde. Shane = not blonde. So Shane goes a little bit insane after seeing photos of Ilya on a date with a mystery brunette, and Ilya shows him why it's not an issue.

    Featuring: yearning, sex as character study, Shane Hollander's under-examined biracial Asian feelings, a little light dominance, and a conveniently placed bedroom mirror.

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    09 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

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    05 Jun 2026