ohhowidream



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane swipes out of a few notifications from the ESPN app, all clickbait about Scott Hunter’s speech at the NHL awards. He can’t deal with those right now, his brain is not online. Then he sees the Snapchat notification, from Ilya.

    Shane puts his phone down and blinks a few times. He picks it up and checks the display again. The notification is still there.

    He hasn’t gotten a Snap from Ilya since the end of the season back in April, after they crashed out of the Frozen Four without making it to the final. Shane saw him a few times after that, at team meetings and at the annual sports awards dinner, but he’s pretty sure Ilya left campus before the end of the semester. Shane wasn’t expecting anything from him until the fall, when he’s back at school.

    He rubs his eyes and rolls onto his side, swiping the app open. It’s a video.

    or, the boys are in college, featuring self discovery, russian diminutives, and (to ilya's chagrin) the scott hunter of it all.

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    03 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 96

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    Ilya’s fingers trace a feather-light path across Shane’s collarbone.

    “Or maybe,” Ilya says slowly. “You are jealous of her.”

    Shane twists, a token kind of struggle; Ilya hardly budges.

    “No,” Shane says.

    Ilya makes a thoughtful sound.

    “Are you sure? Marly is big, strong hockey player who played in Boston. Just your type.”

    “Fuck off,” Shane says, but it’s no good when his traitorous dick is obviously hard, positioned just where Ilya’s hips are resting on Shane’s own. Ilya grinds down, just a little, and Shane’s breath catches. Almost without thinking, he’s straining upwards, trying to get Ilya to kiss him. When their mouths are nearly close enough to touch, Ilya says —

    “You want me to tell you about it?”

    OR

    5 times Ilya suggests someone for a fantasy threesome while they're fucking, and 1 time Shane does.

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    02 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    It’s like they’re in a fucked up game of relationship chicken now, increasingly doing things together that Shane can’t describe as anything other than domestic and romantic and boyfriend-like. They text constantly, detailing their days and sharing everything from complaints about teammates to jokes about other players in the league to the kind of quiet worries about family that don’t need to be responded to, just heard by another person.

    Or maybe it’s like Schroedinger’s cat. As long as Shane doesn’t ask, doesn’t speak out loud, he can have this. It can exist, and it cannot exist at the same time as long as Shane doesn’t press too hard. Doesn’t want too much.

    It feels increasingly like agony now that he’s realized that he loves Ilya.

    ...

    Tunameltdown AU where Ilya makes him tuna melts and says his name and Shane doesn’t freak out and run away. Well, he does freak out, but he also stays. Or the one where Shane doesn’t realize that Ilya’s his boyfriend for a solid three months.

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    29 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    A memory springs to mind: two weeks ago, drunk on Hayden's couch, curled up with Jackie. His voice, soft and quiet, heartbroken with desire, wavering through words about the impossibility of wanting. About the greed that rises in him. About how he clings so badly when he's around Rozanov that all of his common sense falls to the wayside.

    Jackie's voice, rising through the dim gray, as Hayden had snored next to them. All it takes is one of you to make a move, she'd said, their hands laced together, her head on his shoulder. Something's gotta give eventually.

    “I—” Shane starts, before pausing. He thinks he's going to throw up. He thinks that they got it right all those years ago, with it's the hope that kills you. He thinks he has to be brave enough for the both of them, to actually ask, and he's so fucking scared, but he can't let Rozanov's quiet offer of something go unanswered—he'll regret it for the rest of his life if he doesn't take a chance. “Ilya.”

    OR: Shane wants, despite how badly he pretends otherwise.

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    22 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane is a college athlete counting down the seconds until the NHL sinks its teeth in him. He rushes Lambda Chi Alpha on the off chance that (gag) social connections and philanthropy optics might help the league notice him. The most magnetic scum in the frat takes an interest, and something tight in his chest starts to loosen.

    Ilya is a physiology student and Lambda’s resident debauchery planner. He's long chewed through his father’s leash, fashioning his independence out of abandonment. In a hockey star pledge he finds a new and messier purpose: untangling the most tightly wound person he’s ever met.

    You were only supposed to be a distraction.

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    18 Jun 2026