milowren
Fandoms
- 9-1-1 (TV) (22)
- Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston (17)
- Thor (Movies) (4)
- Marvel Cinematic Universe (4)
- The 100 (TV) (1)
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Summary
Eddie jerks awake and finds himself suddenly alone in his small, dark bedroom in El Paso. Just as his eyes are starting to adjust, his phone lights up, ringing insistently on the table beside him.
He leans over a little to look at the screen, and instantly his blood runs cold, sharp and icy panic prickling like razors over every inch of his skin.
It’s Maddie calling him.
***
Eddie gets the call about Bobby.
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Summary
Evan Buckley is five years old when he realizes that he doesn’t feel pain.
Evan is five and a half when he learns how to pretend.
Over the years, Buck gets really, really good at pretending.
That is, until the day Eddie gets shot right in front of him.
***
An AU where Buck is unable to feel pain. -
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Summary
Eddie’s changed back into his civilian clothes and is just finishing tightening the laces on his boots when Chimney comes into the locker room, his face uncharacteristically serious.
“Hey guys, can you all hang back a minute? I need to talk to you about something,” he says, pulling the door closed behind him.
Hen looks up from her phone, glancing around at Eddie, Ravi, and Harry. “Sure, Cap. Should we wait for Buck?”
Chim sighs and shakes his head. “It’s…it’s about Buck.”
***
A few missing scenes from Pick Your Poison. -
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Summary
“I’m sorry, I don’t know how,” Bonnie says, clicking the safety off and raising the gun.
Buck closes his eyes, his heart pounding desperately in his chest, one hot tear rolling down his cheek. At least I’ll get to see Bobby again. He tries to focus on that instead of how he won’t ever see Maddie, Chim, his niece and nephew, Christopher, Ed—
The door bursts back open. “Hey! Someone’s comin’!” Earl says, pulling it shut behind him.
***
Buck POV of the rescue scene in Mother's Boy, plus the aftermath. -
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“Now…do I have any bidders?”
All around them, paddles rise into the air as the room erupts into cheers, and something inside Eddie snaps.
All of these women think they want Buck based off of a few carefully curated clips, but they don’t really know him — not like Eddie does.
***
An alternate ending to Going Once, Going Twice.
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“Eddie, I’m in love with you,” he says, heart thrumming in his chest, in his throat, in his mouth. He feels hot and cold and dizzy by turns.
“What?” asks Eddie faintly, barely even a question.
“I’m in love with you,” Buck says again. “I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to, but I am. I am.”
“You– Right, okay,” says Eddie, so visibly buffering that it makes Buck’s heart clench a little in his chest. Of course he’s in love with Eddie. How could he possibly have let himself pretend otherwise. “Wasn’t expecting this, bud,” says Eddie, and he sounds so shocked that Buck can’t help a wry smile. Of course Eddie’s surprised. They must be the only two people in existence who didn’t already know. “I– Buck, man, you know that I care about you, but…”
“I know,” he says gently to Eddie, because he did know, but that doesn't make this moment hurt any less.
---
Post season 8, Buck confesses his feelings, Eddie lets him down as gently as he can, and they both try to figure out how to be just friends.
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- English
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- 13,476
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by milowren
07 Jul 2026
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Summary
The idea comes to him on one of his drives through the mountains.
He’s driving up, and up, and up until the road has a steep, sheer drop on one side, and nobody’s driving alongside him. He’s headed to the top of a mountain. There’s a gravel pull-off right before a hairpin turn. The turn is protected by a flimsy guardrail.
Eddie parks on the pull-off and walks over to look past the guardrail.
Nothing underneath. Just dry underbrush. A shallow stream right at the bottom. Thin vegetation. If a car missed the curve at a fair speed, it would plummet down the cliff. Next to no chance of survival.
And Eddie’s known to drive, to clear his own head. He used to do it to find hiking trails for him and Buck, or roadside attractions or activities that Christopher might like. It’s a known hobby of his. He’s a good driver.
So it’s not convincing if he crashes in good weather. He’ll have to wait for a storm.
But it’ll work. It has to work.
(Or: Eddie and all the ways you shouldn't love your loved ones.)
Series
- Part 1 of darkness on the edge of town
Bookmarked by milowren
03 Apr 2026
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Summary
Buck tries to commit the frame to memory, wills himself not to forget the important details—Eddie on his knees in front of him, his nails seeking purchase along Buck's thighs as he drinks him down, his drawn-out gasps when Buck returns the favor.
After, when Buck reaches out for quiet confirmation in the dark, asks him, "Good?"
Eddie tells him, earnest and hard-won, "Everything is good with you," and Buck can bask in the illusion of a world where he almost believes it.
Buck is trying to leave the past where it belongs. Then he wins an all-expenses-paid trip to Italy, convinces Eddie to join him, and falls headfirst into (not so) casual sex with his best friend.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 49,326
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 106
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- 1,017
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- 381
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- 17,834
Bookmarked by milowren
07 Jan 2026
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Summary
“Are you finally proposing?” Buck asks, and the air rushes out of Eddie like he’s been punched in the gut, a swift burst.
Hearing it from Buck makes it real, solidified, no longer a shapeless fantasy in his head.
"Proposing what?”
“Marriage, genius.” Buck snorts. “Duh.”
Buck peels Eddie's pomegranates, carves out the brown spots from his apples, eats the ugly, discolored fruit. Eddie wants to propose, spirals, and crashes a car about it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,600
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- 1/1
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- 205
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- 2,967
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- 922
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- 44,891
Bookmarked by milowren
06 Jan 2026
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Summary
“You were drunk. I know it didn’t mean anything. Everything’s alright.”
Buck visibly winces. “That’s not — Eddie.”
There’s a suspended moment where Buck looks torn, standing on the edge of something, eyes fixed on the horizon to avoid looking at the drop, the precipitous canyon below. But then Buck, who can’t lie, who would tear his own chest open to a complete stranger on the street because the truth of him spills so loudly out of every jagged edge, sighs out:
“It meant something.”
There’s a ringing sound somewhere in the distance, getting closer. “What are you…” Eddie trails off.
“I wasn’t — well, I was drunk. But that wasn’t what. Wasn’t why. Not entirely, or — god.” Buck shudders in a breath, steeling himself. “I have feelings for you.” He closes his eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
~
Buck confesses his feelings. Eddie’s straight. If he spends all his time thinking about Buck and looking at Buck and wanting to be around Buck, well, that’s just being a good friend, isn’t it? He’s being so normal about this, actually.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,242
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 326
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- 3,011
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Bookmarked by milowren
23 Nov 2025