madamn



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  1. Public Bookmark 98

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    Summary

    Alastor has long ago accepted that there is something fundamentally wrong with him. Not only because he is a sadistic serial killer and cannibal, nor because he was born with what some may consider the wrong genitalia. It is because said genitalia is broken. Without a steady partner, that flaw has never truly bothered him. Not until now.

    Not until Lucifer.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,228
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    382
    Bookmarks:
    98
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    01 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “…and the kissing? That was okay, right?”

    Heat crept down Alastor's throat and he was grateful they were both still fully dressed so it wasn’t visible. “I would have bitten you if it wasn’t.”

    Lucifer snorted softly. “Yeah? It’s a lot better than just… Wait! That’s exactly what this reminds me of! When Charlie used to play with her dolls growing up! Just smushing them together and saying shit like ‘now kiss!’ It’s like we’re the dolls!”

    It took him a moment to catch on but when he did, his brows shot up. “You believe someone is…enacting these bizarre situations with dolls of us?” But who would do something like that? And more importantly, why?

    AKA

    After a month of forced proximity and being puppeted around by someone with a clear RadioApple agenda, Lucifer and Alastor may have accidentally caught feelings. They should still probably figure out how to fix this though...

    Completed: 9/23/25

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,154
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    168
    Kudos:
    906
    Bookmarks:
    194
    Hits:
    10,690

    26 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Charlie had chosen to attend Hazbin Community College, taking advantage of Lucifer's employee perk of free tuition, and they were supposed to spend her first ever fall break together. Instead, he'd been roped into flying halfway across the country to attend some dumb teaching conference with his asshole co-worker Alastor Boudreaux. Things couldn't possibly get any worse.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,972
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    64
    Kudos:
    358
    Bookmarks:
    106
    Hits:
    2,775

    25 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 29

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    Some unplanned, rather hostile, guests at the Palace kickstart the end of Lucifer's gestation. After the uncomfortable confrontation, he and Alastor can get groovy on the cave floor of their favourite mating spot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,912
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    148
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    1,182

    25 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “The King of Hell’s annual rut is coming soon. I’ve decided to take myself off of the list of candidates once and for all. In order to do that, I need an Alpha to knot me. We enjoy one another’s company well enough, and you seem the sort to do an admirable job of it.”

    More importantly, Lu Morgenstern seemed the sort Alastor could maneuver as he saw fit.

    “All this so you can potentially avoid the honor of lying with the King of Hell during his rut?”

    He rolled his eyes. “Yes, because being stripped down to nothing but my secondary gender and being selected as the next virgin sacrifice to be deflowered by the Devil himself is such an honor.”

    Lu absently tapped a finger where his hand had come to rest on top of his desk. “You don’t believe it is? I’ve heard the Omega selected is handsomely compensated for their time.”

    “Which makes it rather a lot like prostitution, wouldn’t you agree?”

    “Yet here you are, offering yourself up to me for free.”

    AKA

    Alastor needs to get rid of his pesky v-card, or risk conjugal jury duty interrupting his research. Too bad the Alpha he propositions is the very devil he’s trying to avoid…

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,013
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    48
    Kudos:
    1,144
    Bookmarks:
    209
    Hits:
    9,005

    25 Jun 2026