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    "You ARE a pervert."

    "Yes, but I am Shane's pervert. Is different."

    "That's not the defense you think it is."

    "And when we—" Ilya stopped himself, grinned. "Is probably too much information, yes?"

    "WAY too much information."

    Ilya delivers a TED Talk titled "Shane Hollander 101" and Hayden is the unwilling audience.

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    18 Jun 2026

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    "You are doing this on purpose," Ilya accused.

    Shane looked up, perfectly innocent. "Doing what on purpose?"

    "The—" Ilya gestured. "This. The—the organizing."

    "The organizing that I do. Every Thursday. Like I have for the entire time we've been together."

    "You know what you're doing."

    Shane's lips twitched. Just barely. But Ilya saw it. "I'm folding a hoodie."

    BREAKING: Local man gets pavlov'd by the KonMari method, more at 11.

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    18 Jun 2026

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    Two years of playing together, and it still hit him every time. The casualness of it. My husband. Said out loud, in public. After years of hiding—stolen moments in hotel rooms, careful distance in public, the constant exhausting performance of just teammates, just rivals, nothing to see here—now Ilya could say it like it was nothing. Like it was easy, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

    Because it was. Finally.

    In which Ilya Hollander-Rozanov cannot shut up about his husband. (Subtitled: No one asked, Ilya. Ilya. No one asked.)

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    18 Jun 2026

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

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    16 Jun 2026

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    “If I gave Jackie a day of getting to have sex with me whenever she wants as a thank you for tidying the living room, I think she’d divorce me,” Hayden says.

    “Nah, man, she’d kill you,” J. J. says, which is probably true.

    Shane shrugs. “That sounds like a straight people problem.”

    Hayden is truly glad that the times of Shane torturing himself by being in the closet are over. But. Well. This conversation is kind of making him miss those days.

    ---

    Finally, after everything, Shane is a happily married man. Incredibly happily married. It only becomes a problem once he thinks it qualifies him to dispense relationship advice.

    Or, five times Shane gives relationship advice his friends disagree with, and one time he doesn’t.

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    16 Jun 2026