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  1. Public Bookmark 56

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    The lights became strangely bright, the music seemed to echo inside his skull instead of around him. His balance faltered as someone brushed past him, and he laughed automatically, though the sound came out slurred enough that it startled him.

    Weird.

    He hadn't had that much to drink.

    He blinked hard, but the room refused to steady. People seemed to move half a second too late, their faces smearing together whenever he turned his head too quickly. His tongue felt thick in his mouth.

    No. Something was wrong.

    He should… he should find Marley, or Brad, or literally anyone.

    He turned, intending to push through the crowd, only to stumble into someone's shoulder hard enough that they had to catch him before he fell. "Sorry," he tried to say, but it came out almost unintelligible. His pulse lurched.

    OR

    Ilya gets drugged at the club. Read the tags please.

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    08 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 81

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    Ilya spent most of his life believing love was something he had to earn.

    Shane spends years showing him that it never was.

    Five moments where Shane loves Ilya in all the quiet ways that matter, and one moment where Ilya finally understands that, piece by piece, he was never as broken as he thought he was.

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    01 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “Go?” Rozanov repeats, and Shane thinks he manages to nod, thinks he manages to spin some kind of excuse that he knows Rozanov doesn’t really buy, but he needs to go. He needs to get out of here. He needs to find somewhere quiet and calm where he can ride out this panic and painful tightness until he can catch his breath again. He needs-

    He needs to go.

    “I’m sorry,” he says, turning heel and resisting the urge to just book it right for the front door only because he’d rather not have to explain to Hayden why he returned from a hookup with Boston Lily in men’s clothes that he certainly didn’t leave in.

    It’s not until he makes it halfway up the stairs to Rozanov’s bedroom that it occurs to him in a cold rush that it isn’t just anxiety that makes it this hard to breathe.

    “No,” he tells himself firmly, white knuckling the bannister and trying to take a deep breath just to prove that he can.

    It wheezes.

    (how the tuna meltdown is averted through the power of food allergies and anaphylaxis)

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    13 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Every single example online of the love languages could fit Ilya to some degree – Shane had never thought about it before, but now that he knew, it was a problem that he didn’t know Ilya’s. He already wasn’t fluent in Russian, despite his attempt at learning, and he refused to be behind on another of Ilya’s languages.

    Shane looked down at Ilya, still passed out asleep in his arms, and nodded to himself, ready to run a series of experiments until he found what worked for Ilya.

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    29 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya glances at Shane, at the way the dying light is catching in his hair, refracting. At that spiderlily mouth, slightly open and curling coyly, two teeth peeked through the dark gap like an American Girl doll. At that shoulder, bare and pale and close enough to touch if Ilya just leaned forward, if he just reached out and took another liberty.

    To touch another person is to say: I know you will die, and I am doing this anyway.

    His mother used to say something like this. About painting.

    Every portrait is an act of faith, Ilyushenka. Faith and futility both.

    contrary to personal preference, ilya gets a roommate.

    Series
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    29 May 2026