kalinma



Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya is not going to do anything. He knows this. He's also standing very still.

    He thinks about his mother's arm, hanging over the side of the bed. He was twelve. He'd thought she was sleeping.

    He closes the cabinet.

    The face in the mirror is someone he recognizes in the way you recognize a city you lived in as a child: the basic geography is familiar, but you can't find anything you're looking for.

    -

    Or: A closer look at Ilya’s first year in Ottawa, set against his first in Boston—featuring a long-lost answering machine he claimed he’d never listen to, the family inevitably left behind when you move, and the mostly self-imposed pressure of loving a man as large and looming as the great Shane Hollander.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,807
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    95
    Kudos:
    567
    Bookmarks:
    195
    Hits:
    5,652

    08 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Tags:
  2. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    38,566
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    114

    26 Mar 2026

    Bookmarker's Tags:
  3. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “We’ve made a trade,” Coach announces. “For Shane Hollander.”

    It’s like the ground drops out from beneath Ilya, and his heart falls from his chest. It tumbles past rock bottom, down to the cavern that shattered open inside of him on that night five years ago. The night when Ilya walked away from Hollander for the last time.

    He can’t breathe.

    (Or: Shane doesn’t get hurt, they break up, and they don’t talk for five long years. Until Shane is traded to Ottawa.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,904
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    14
    Comments:
    1,873
    Kudos:
    23,880
    Bookmarks:
    6,330
    Hits:
    236,117

    19 Mar 2026

    Bookmarker's Tags:
  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    For one, singular, blissful moment, nothing is wrong when Ilya wakes up.

    And then the bubble pops.

    With something less like a pinprick and more like a gunshot.

    --

    After Ilya is outed he has to deal with being the only openly queer player in the league, being Russian, and being in love with Hollander even after he ran away all at once. It sucks. He does it anyway.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,998
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    12
    Comments:
    866
    Kudos:
    9,559
    Bookmarks:
    2,356
    Hits:
    108,918

    12 Mar 2026

    Bookmarker's Tags:
  5. Public Bookmark 54

    Tags
    Summary

    Илья просыпается в мире, где его мать жива, потому что он нашел ее раньше, и ее успели спасти. Илья не уехал из России, потому что боялся ее оставить. В этом мире он не знаком с Шейном Холландером.

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    38,235
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    274
    Bookmarks:
    54
    Hits:
    2,735

    06 Mar 2026

    Bookmarker's Tags: