joestars
Fandoms
Recent works
-
some things are flawed by design by joestars
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
08 Jun 2026
Tags
Summary
It's been a decade and a half since Henry was called into priesthood by the diocesan bishop, signifying the end of a turbulent youth and, God willing, the start of a brighter future. Only, that future has proven to be a rather bleak one as he serves as the parochial vicar at Saint Moses' Catholic Church. When he learns of his imminent reassignment to a parish of his own after years of limbo, he's provided with more questions than answers. One of which being: Is Hans Capon, soon to be ex-husband of Jitka Capon, really that fucking annoying? And the other: Is a one-night stand worth breaking his vows and worse, stepping away from the only stability life's granted him?
Or: the one where Henry is a priest guiding Jitka and Hans through an annulment and things get very, very messy.
-
Tags
Summary
There’s a certain level of convenience present, and being on the road this long leaves room for these things to naturally occur. It’s not the first time he’s sought this kind of company from his compatriots – Shiraishi knows that particularly well, the both of them being intimate with all facets of this type of bargain – but that doesn’t stop the unsettle he feels afterwards when it happens with Ogata. Especially when it keeps on happening. Especially when Sugimoto finds himself staring at Ogata, equal parts revulsion and aversion, and something else mixed in too.
Ogata, who he loathes, and hates, and mistrusts, and has nothing but dislike for the guy.
-
Tags
Summary
Adding sodomy to everything he's done doesn't feel like the gravest act. There's still an ancestral seat smouldering in the valley below them, smoke billowing far off in the distance, and he's catching Bartosch's gaze as he does his rounds of polite conversation. It's been a consideration he's entertained many times before he even met the man. Of course, there's a difference between thinking and doing, which all the preaching he's been on the receiving end of has taught him. Yet, he's also gladly slipped daggers between ribs and slit throats before lock picking whatever they were guarding. Thou shalt not steal? He's plundered plenty. Honour thy father and thy mother? He spent their very last day on this Godly earth being a layabout and disobeying Martin's — if he can still count him as his father in that sense — wish for him to turn heel and run to the castle. He even picked up a godforsaken sword behind their backs that afternoon, all to play pretend at being an adventurer with some wastrel. Obedience before God, and then your parents, and then others. There'll never be the chance to right that wrong, no matter how long he lives, so what's the point in trying anymore?
-
Tags
Summary
Shit product. Damaged goods. Bad for the company image, and even worse for a sales pitch — or hell, a sale at all. Broken, defective, useless, kaput. Use any word you’d like because Spamton’s used to it all. Heard it from the first moment he woke up with working legs and barely working anything else at all. Sometimes, he’s not even sure why they kept him around after they made the others. Perfected everyone else with the knowledge of their previous mistake. Singular. Y’know, the one which they still paraded, poked and prodded at. Doing all of that while knowing there was a working brain in there, comprehending every insult thrown out his way; all with the same clinical detachment under the veneer of marketing sweettalk and the hopes of more investment money. What a joke his life’s been. He was never going to be a release candidate. The gold standard. Whatever they want to call it. He can't be bothered learning all the jargon, even if his life is in sales. Technically.
It's why he finds his way here every Sunday nowadays, nine sharp ‘cause that’s when Tenna’s busy scriptwriting and he’s got the handy excuse of religion. As if he didn’t already meet his own maker and get rejected.
Series
- Part 2 of lightner cinematic universe
-
Tags
Summary
Tenna still feels a prickle of shame when he remembers all the paystubs he failed to fulfill, even after he auctioned off everything in the studio. And yeah, maybe it’s not exactly because he didn’t fulfill his promises, and mostly because the final piece of publicity he got was less than positive when it covered all the particulars of his… business practices. To put it mildly, ‘Mr. SCAM Tenna?’ painted him in a rather bad light. Besides, he had never been the real scammer prowling the streets. If they'd wanted a better pun and a proper target for their witch-hunt, they could've gone with: ‘SCAMTON G. SP—
Oh well, it's not like there’s a lot of people who’d recognise Tenna these days. Every few months, he gets a cheque in the mail for his residuals; an extremely humbling reminder that hardly anyone knows his name or watches his show anymore. Not only does he live in the middle of nowhere — no offence, kind of — but he’s retired his suit, retired his brand, retired his everything, and traded it in for sweaters and vests instead. The closest he gets to reliving his crumbled stardom is whenever he’s addressed as Mr. Tenna while directing the school’s yearly musical.
Series
- Part 4 of Spamtenna Week 2025
- Part 1 of lightner cinematic universe
Recent series
Recent bookmarks
-
like the cat, I have nine times to die by yakuzapalooza
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
19 May 2026
Tags
Summary
“Mhmm,” Hanush demurs. “So Henry doesn’t have anywhere to live?”
“Well, the shed didn’t exactly live up to his standards. So not at the moment. Unless…?”
“Well,” Hanush says, almost breaking a smile for the first time. “They are the same age, after all…”
After Henry is released from prison, Hanush and Radzig decide to solve both of their problems at once. What could go wrong when you force two hot-headed lads to live together?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,312
- Chapters:
- 1/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 8
- Kudos:
- 26
- Bookmarks:
- 6
- Hits:
- 169
Bookmarked by joestars
10 Jun 2026
-
Tags
Summary
matriphagy:
(noun)
the consumption of the mother by her offspring. an extreme form of paternal love.Bookmarked by joestars
05 Jun 2026
-
Tags
Summary
Istvan floated in the clear blue water of his pool, drinking white wine from a plastic tumbler, feeling the sun on his tanned skin. A year ago, he couldn’t have pictured himself here—but fortune takes and fortune gives. If he had to live this new life as a middle-aged divorcé, stereotypically complete with growing waistline and receding hairline, at least now he could do so in his own private paradise.
And, with the pool, there was Erik.
Recently divorced businessman Istvan hadn’t expected the hours of visual entertainment that would come along with his new pool boy. Struggling university student Erik feels like he’s living in a porno. Under the summer sun, the two men find mutual interest and understanding—and dive head-first into more than just the pool.
Bookmarked by joestars
17 May 2026
-
Tags
Summary
Spamton scooped up the power cable, puffing out a breath and rolling his shoulders as he eyed the outlet on the wall. The moment of truth. In one swift motion, he knelt and pushed the plug into the outlet, turning and feeling along the casing beneath the screen for the power button. A springy click… and then his ears filled with the familiar high-pitched electric whine of a working CRT.
Oh, yeah. That’s the ticket.
----
A dead man walking, Spamton brings home an old TV and turns his world on its head.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,410
- Chapters:
- 3/4
- Comments:
- 313
- Kudos:
- 1,057
- Bookmarks:
- 192
- Hits:
- 14,403
Bookmarked by joestars
10 Oct 2025
-
Tags
Summary
It wasn’t that Spamton was delicate— he wasn’t. He was anything but. Rough and tumble, eager to spat; he got in more trouble than a censor on a Saturday night and had a missing tooth to prove it (though he absolutely hated it being pointed out). It was just… He was code and pixels and mumbo-jumbo Tenna didn’t care to understand while Tenna himself was sturdy, thick plastic and glass and silicone and copper wiring. He could be repaired, but how in the world do you fix broken code? It was so far out of Tenna’s wheelhouse it was a home run clear out of the park. ‘I don’t want to break him’, Tenna thought desperately, though it still made his stomach flip to think about.
or; spamton wants tenna to relax and gets far more than he bargained for
Bookmarked by joestars
30 Sep 2025