forgettingitsthere



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “I'm gay.”

    He's looking at his feet, because he hasn't quite come to terms with the fact that he's saying this in a room where other people, strangers, can hear it.

    But this is still the first time he's said it this way: out loud, in a declarative sentence. Being nervous is fine. Frank said that being nervous is fine, and Buck just said he's proud, and the only thought Eddie has in his head is that it's embarrassing he can't raise his head and say it like a man, so clearly, he's going to need to hang on to other people's words for the time being, someone who isn't his dad trying to explain the ways Eddie's allowed to inhabit the world.

    He doesn't need to ask anyone's permission to be who he is. That's also a thing Frank said.

    in which eddie attends a self-empowerment group for gbtq men to supplement his therapy, and is empowered to: forgive himself, say "i'm gay" to his own reflection in the mirror, accidentally adopt an adult, make fried rice, and tell his straight best friend that he's in love with him. not necessarily in that order.

    Language:
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    Chapters:
    3/3
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    27 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    It’s almost like — like Buck’s holding a possible thing in his hands, fragile and fledgling, born too early. It’s not the first time he’s felt this way, with Eddie. It’s happened before, mostly in kitchens.

    “Did that guy tell you the name of the suite he put us in?”

    The corner of Eddie’s mouth lifts. There, Buck supposes, is his answer.

    “Yeah. Honeymooners, huh? Should we tell him about our disaster of a trip?”

    His stomach lurches. God. Eddie’s taking this in stride; Buck should be thankful for it. Instead, he’s afraid he’ll be sick all over their shoes.

    or: a pining buck has to navigate the Emotional Saw Trap that is the road trip back from new mexico. eddie, quite literally, comes along for the ride.

    Language:
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    1/1
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    24 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 68

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    They eat. They talk. They laugh. It’s all the same, but the picture they assemble out of the pieces this time turns out different.
    Eddie smiles around a mouthful of his burger, his eyes not leaving Buck’s face for a second. Buck’s knee is pressed warm between his own, while his other leg, the one that never really forgot the crushing weight of the ladder truck, is stretched out under the table, claiming space, unapologetic.
    Buck catches a drop of sauce sliding down his chin and licks it off his finger, not breaking eye contact. 
    Eddie has that sudden, vivid urge to grab Buck’s wrist, pull his hand to his mouth, clean it for him instead – and the thought itself isn’t what surprises him. It’s the fact that for the first time in his life it doesn’t send him scrambling for cover. It just… sits there. Simple. Allowed.


    Or,
    Life finally hands you everything you ever wanted – start looking for a catch. 

    Series
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    1/1
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    22 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 99

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    “I think maybe Pepa's setting you up with the wrong people,” Buck blurts out.

    “I did like him, he just–”

    “I mean–” Buck huffs, and then he really gets going, “he’s basically just some–some emotionally unavailable douche who dragged you all the way out to Studio City fully intending to ditch you until he realized he had a chance to get in your pants, which–where, in some restroom? And don’t even get me started on–like, you said you sucked his dick, but what about you? Did he even get you off? That doesn’t sound very considerate! Frankly, he sounds like a terrible guy, and you should let me set you up with someone!”

    Eddie’s brain isn’t going remotely as fast as Buck’s, because he’s still slowly making his way from his first thought (did I ever tell him I was meeting Matt in Studio City?) to his second one (has he been thinking about if and how I got off this whole time?) when Buck says that last part, and then it takes another moment to sink in. He blinks at the table. He blinks at Buck. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

    Or: Eddie comes out, Pepa takes the initiative, and Buck follows her lead.

     

    Language:
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    4/4
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    29 Apr 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “I have no idea what’s going on.” He was embarrassed at the whiny note in his voice, but he couldn’t swallow it away. “I mean, the last thing I remember, I was telling my parents that I was leaving Texas. And then all of the sudden I wake up and it’s like—”

    Like some stranger named Buck had infiltrated every corner of his life. That’s what it felt like.

    ——

    Amnesiac Eddie tries really hard to hate Buck. It doesn’t stick.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,641
    Chapters:
    7/7
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    26 Apr 2026