ejames_bond
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Yet another over-styled and insufferable gala. Yet another evening of tight-lipped smiles and weak conversation. Another pitiful display of acceptance of the new wizarding world. Lucius Malfoy was not happy, to say the least. However, his dreaded evening of despair gets remarkably re-engineered, but none other than a man 24 years his junior.
Essentially, Lucius Malfoy has a gay panic but is fine really
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You know the song, right? If you don't go away and listen to it before reading this. This is my interpretation of what the lyrics mean, in both the drug/addiction way it was written for, alongside other romantic and personal ventures I briefly explore. Feel free to tell my what I missed or got wrong!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 458
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 6
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After the failed Armageddon, Aziraphale finds out that Heaven has been damning souls to Hell for the supposed sin of having kinky sex. He is certain that kinky sex in itself is not a sin, and enlists Crowley to help him prove it. Never mind that Aziraphale has never had sex before. Never mind that he and Crowley are just friends. He's sure everything will work out just fine.
Written for Kinktober 2025
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 119,156
- Chapters:
- 13/33
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 468
- Kudos:
- 459
- Bookmarks:
- 115
- Hits:
- 15,665
Bookmarked by ejames_bond
18 Jul 2026
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Poppy is seventeen when she’s suddenly kidnapped by a strange man.
But she adjusts well to her new life. Eventually.
Bookmarked by ejames_bond
10 Jul 2026
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Post series 3, Hardy and Miller are on the case of a lost boy. As the team up to find his family, they end up discovering a lot more about their feelings for one another. A journey of discovery.
Bookmarked by ejames_bond
08 Jul 2026
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Alec's plans to go back to Sandbrook immediately following Ricky, Lee, and Claire's arrests get a little bit sidetracked and he sticks around in Broadchurch for a bit. He's still dead set on "fixing his family" and trying to do it from the distance, but things aren't going great to that end. Who could have foreseen this? (the answer is Ellie, Ellie saw this one coming a mile off).
Alternatively: Pathetic Alec with too many Feelings he doesn't really know how to handle, and a heavy dose of smut.
Bookmarked by ejames_bond
06 Jul 2026
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Hermione is convinced that Lucius Malfoy faked his own death to get out of his Azkaban sentence. She tracks him down, determined to make him pay, but gets far more than she bargained for.
She kept the wand tip pressed under his chin, eyeing the trail of blood that made a path over his lips and dripped onto the luxurious carpet.
"I’m willing to pay retribution to you personally,” he murmured, far too seductive for someone who should be afraid for his life.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,730
- Chapters:
- 1/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 22
- Kudos:
- 69
- Bookmarks:
- 13
- Hits:
- 709
Bookmarked by ejames_bond
18 Jun 2026