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1. Public Bookmark 27

   i'm sorry, i tried, i love you by herrealname

   Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV) RPF  

   • Not Rated
   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • M/M
   • Work in Progress

   19 Apr 2026

   Tags

   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
   • Shane Hollander
   • Ilya Rozanov
   • The Author Regrets Everything
   • The Author Regrets Nothing
   • This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
   • I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping
   • I Don't Even Know
   • Please Don't Hate Me
   • Please Don't Kill Me
   • Please Kill Me
   • Suicidal Thoughts
   • Implied/Referenced Suicide
   • Suicide Attempt
   • Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con
   • Tags Are Hard
   • Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander
   • Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov
   • Autistic Shane Hollander
   • Hurt Shane Hollander
   • Shane Hollander Speaks Russian
   • Ilya Rozanov Needs A Hug
   • Soft Ilya Rozanov
   • Soft Dom Ilya Rozanov
   • Depressed Ilya Rozanov
   • Childhood Trauma
   • Past Abuse
   • Hurt/Comfort
   • Hurt No Comfort
   • Emotional Hurt/Comfort
   • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
   • complex PTSD
   • Depression
   • Shane Hollander Has an Eating Disorder
   • Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified
   • Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse
   • Childhood Sexual Abuse
   • Disordered Eating
   • Self-Harm
   • Gay Sex
   • Men Crying
   • Crying During Sex
   • I Made Myself Cry
   • Everything Hurts
   • Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts
   • I'm Bad at Tagging
   • I'm Sorry
   • I Tried
   • I Love You
   • What Was I Thinking?
   • Why Did I Write This?
   • I Will Go Down with This Ship
   • I'm Going to Hell
   • My First Smut
   • Idiots in Love

   Summary

   Set in the years after the cottage and in non-TLG canon, Shane and Ilya’s secrets become too heavy to carry, and things begin to fray at the seams. In their 30’s, unresolved traumas lead to a disastrous collapse of their coping mechanisms. Will a love that can only exist in the dark be able to transcend the silence of individual suffering?

   "i’m sorry, i tried, i love you" is a story about the insidious realities of mental health and grief, but also about self-compassion and love.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   22,202

   Chapters:

   2/?

   Collections:

   1

   Comments:

   13

   Kudos:

   86

   Bookmarks:

   27

   Hits:

   2,094

   Bookmarked by chuUmZb

   26 Mar 2026