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  1. Rec *

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    Cliff watches him squeeze the phone between his cheek and shoulder, lifting the jersey over his head as he continues to talk, a bit distracted now by the multitasking.

    “And was good practice, you know, for when I am your husband."

    Immediately, the locker room goes dead silent. And so does Rozanov, in fact.

    In which Ilya accidentally calls himself Shane's future husband in the middle of the Bears locker room. Worse still, they're not even dating yet.

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    13 Jul 2026

  2. Rec *

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    “They need to return to a conference based system,” Svetlana said, slamming her hand against the table. “It was fucking fine the way it was, why are we handing out participation trophies to shitty divisions?”

    Ilya raised his eyebrows from where he hovered in the kitchen, cracking open another Red Bull.

    “This is fun,” he said, deadpanned. “You guys should start a podcast or something. I would not listen, you are both terribly boring.”

    * * *

    Or, after an injury on the ice forces Shane into an early retirement, he and Svetlana start a podcast.

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    12 Jul 2026

  3. Rec *

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    Wyatt’s gaze flicked from Hollander to Rozanov – who looked absolutely delighted with this turn of events – and back again. “You two follow playoff traditions as well then?”

    Hollander shrugged, still catastrophically casual, “I mean, when we played on different teams we sort of had to. Conflict of interests and all that. But I meant more generally. You know what it’s like, right?”

    Wyatt wasn’t sure that he did, and was suddenly very conscious of the fact that he might not be in the least bit emotionally prepared for whatever was about to come out of Hollander’s mouth.

    “Like, the other day,” Hollander continued, seemingly unaware of the proverbial bombshell he was about to drop. “Ilya tied me up and edged me for…was it two hours?”

    “Three, moyo solnyshko,” Rozanov corrected, sounding like Christmas, his birthday, and the Easter Bunny had all come at once.


    Shane Hollander joins the Centaurs, and the team discovers that their Captain might be a certified menace, but his husband is so, so much worse.

    OR: five times Shane accidentally terrorizes the Centaurs locker room, and one time he chooses to hold back.

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    12 Jul 2026

  4. Rec *

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    Shane Hollander doesn't fight. That doesn't mean he can't. In fact, when lines are crossed during the first game Shane plays against his former team since becoming a Centaur, people are about to learn it means exactly the opposite.

    or

    My version of a crack fic, brought to you by whoever it was that mentioned they thought Yuna would have put Shane in Martial Arts as a kid, and that’s the reason he doesn’t fight.

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    12 Jul 2026

  5. Rec *

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    Ilya was used to hazing. He had been subjected to it, he had participated in it, and, as a captain, he had stood guard over the rookies and protected them from anything truly harmful. But if he had been asked, Ilya would have approved of this prank. He would have authorized it, given Cliff and Vicky his seal of approval, perhaps even helped orchestrate it.

    Any other day, Ilya might have been happy to play along.

    But, in perfect dramatic irony, it had not happened any other day. It had happened today. And, cherry on top, of course the rookie had to walk in when Shane was already freaking out about Ilya saying his name.

    +++

    A prank-gone-wrong leads to the Boston Bears finding out about Shane and Ilya’s relationship in 2016. The day Ilya first invited Shane into his house. Right after they say each other’s names for the first time. Fuck his life, honestly.

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    11 Jul 2026