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    “Can’t hang out tonight, Hayd. I have plans.”

    “Bullshit,” Hayden responds. “You never have plans.”

    Objectively, this used to be true. Nowadays Shane has many, many plans, between his nightly plans to look at Ilya’s penis through Skype and his various long-term plans laid out helpfully in his notebook, Canva (For Ilya’s sake. He is a visual learner), and more recently, Excel. Shane loves that excel sheet. He’s colour coded it.

     

    In 2017, Shane Hollander spirals and proposes to his boyfriend of 4 days (or 7 years, or 9 years, or not his boyfriend at all, depending on how you look at it), which leads to a lot of plans, weird theories in the Montreal Voyageur locker room, some Twitter drama, and Ilya Rozanov entering his WAG era.

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    01 Jul 2026

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    He’s just about ready to doze off—his ritualistic pre-dinner, thirty-minute nap—when, suddenly, Ilya says, “Huh. Interesting.”

    Shane cracks one eye open. “Hmm?”

    “Oh, nothing, малыш,” he replies, though his brows are furrowed when he says it. Shane’s even more curious now.

    “No, really, what is it?”

    Ilya must lose some internal debate; a deep sigh leaves his body before, wordlessly, he turns his phone to Shane.

    The bright light makes him squint, still not used to Ilya and his affinity for both using the light-mode feature and turning the brightness in his phone to a maximum. He forgoes scolding him when, after his eyes have adjusted, he reads: Metros acquires Fil-Canadian Rivera; second Asian player in franchise history after Hollander.

    At first he thinks, oh, that’s my name. Shane hasn’t seen his name mentioned remotely near the words ‘Montreal Metros’ ever since he transferred to Ottawa three years ago. Then, and this is when it finally dawns on him, Shane thinks: second?

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    27 Jun 2026

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    JJ didn't think the others saw it. Hayden, maybe, but Jackie was the only WAGs's name Shane had committed to memory so Hayden never brought it up. JJ didn't have a wife or girlfriend. He had his hookups and the names of the best restaurants in each city they player in. If JJ had a dog, Shane would probably mix its name up with Drapeau's. The others didn't get that however pathetic or sad they might think Shane, Shane thought the same of them tenfold when they missed shots at practice or ate fast food on weekdays. Shane wasn't being prissy or funny when he said, don't embarass me—JJ still doesn't know exactly what it was, but he doesn't care to find out.

    Shane had poured everything into his team (possessively: it was his team) and he asked them to give it back that day, so they delivered. When Shane smiled at them afterwards, it felt like love.

    Character study on neurotic batshit hardass Captain Shane Hollander. The awe-inspiring and aloof Canadian Hockey Jesus Shane Hollander. Unwilling MLH sex icon Shane Hollander, the face on many mens' dart boards.

    or, JJ on the enigma of (his feelings for) Shane Hollander over the years.

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    27 Jun 2026

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    In late 2014, celebrity photos start dropping. Ilya deletes his texts, his photos, a video he should never have taken. It isn't soon enough.

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    27 Jun 2026

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    Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?”

    “Okay,” Hollander says, voice cracking.

    He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.

    A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.

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    24 Jun 2026