caffeinated_nightmares
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Recent works
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Tadfools: Critical Success and Total Fucking Failures by caffeinated_nightmares for senair, Moonmaiden86
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
22 Mar 2026
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Summary
Throughout their journey, Astarion kept hearing a voice he knew all too well. It haunted him. It taunted him. Each time, his companions didn’t believe him. Each time, they insisted it was trauma, stress, or his imagination. For all the wisdom and experience in their degenerate group, it baffled Astarion how only his perception was a critical success, while theirs was a total fucking failure.
The problem with surviving Cazador was that Astarion was very, very proficient at recognizing him. The bigger problem was that his companions were very, very much not.
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Same Old Lang Syne by caffeinated_nightmares
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
14 Mar 2026
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Summary
The Lanes never felt this cold before, but this holiday felt particularly brutal. Vander felt the absence of multiple things: a bin of missing decor, old friends, and an older lover. He was determined to at least replace a part of what he could.
He just hadn't expected to find another missing thing bloodied and drunk in an alley.
Series
- Part 3 of Through the Ashes
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The Horror of Gadgetry by caffeinated_nightmares
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
08 Mar 2026
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Summary
Fatherhood meant encouraging passions, soothing fears, and unconditionally loving a blue-haired anklebiter no matter what. For once, Silco found himself torn with regret and continuing down the path of being a good father. He should have never told Powder to focus on her gadgetry, once upon a time. He knew he should give his daughter space to grow and learn. But, gods, how he wished that Powder never stopped needing him and Vander to soothe the nightmares and fight the monsters in the dark.
Now, in the spirit of being a parent who didn’t want to let go and being the father who did, he faced a new nightmare: Furbies.
**Artwork embedded within the fic behind spoilers**
Series
- Part 4 of The Canary and the Hound
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Unleashed by caffeinated_nightmares for dorkpatroller
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
21 Feb 2026
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Summary
Astarion thrived on the ruination of Gale Dekarios; it was a vicious means to a delicious end. Twice a year, for the last ten years, the Little Shit found new ways to make his obliviously overworked husband become unleashed.
The first time this dangerous long-form duel came into existence, the flames burned too intensely— too hot, too consuming, too raw— and it left both men gasping for relief with salt pricking their eyes and misunderstood agony. But, Astarion learned the shape of it; he learned how impersonal this trial-by-combat had actually been to his husband and that the elf had not been to blame for such… cruelty. And ever the Little Shit that the elf was, he learned to love stirring the fucking pot.
All that beautiful mess of Gale Dekarios coaxed into a confident, brutal mess.
Today would be the day that all that teasing, dry rot hucked carelessly and wantonly onto the metaphorical fire would erupt into the most glorious fireball. At least… that was the plan. A nice, simple plan. All it involved was destroying the man he loved.
Series
- Part 6 of Tales of Modern Debauchery
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Operation Blitzcrank by caffeinated_nightmares
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
27 Nov 2025
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Summary
On the brink of securing political legitimacy, Silco cannot afford even the barest whisper of a scandal. Yet, his children's well-meaning "good deed" has relocated the very crux of Piltover's Annual Thanksgiving Ceremony deep into the heart of the Undercity. No good deed goes unpunished, and Topsiders will want their pound of flesh. Silco and Vander must quietly set things right, before Zaun's entire future unravels.
Politics aside, the growing horror of the consequences to his children had images of Stillwater flashing through his mind. He had been about Vi’s age when he had first been thrown into a damp, isolating cell. For a crime much less egregious. Silco and Vander nurtured the kids’ big hearts and pushed for them to follow an honest path of kindness… and it came back to bite them in the ass. They couldn’t be punished for this. They wouldn’t.
Series
- Part 3 of The Canary and the Hound
Recent series
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The Canary and the Hound by caffeinated_nightmares
Fandom Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
08 Mar 2026
Summary
A series of one-shots of Zaun Dads (featuring their children occasionally) in a happier timeline.
- Words:
- 29,117
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 3
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Through the Ashes by caffeinated_nightmares
Fandom Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
14 Mar 2026
Summary
A series of canon-compliant oneshots of Vanco post Betrayal
- Words:
- 25,065
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 4
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Summary
A series of one-shots in the Modern AU (non-magical // DnD species) of our favorite Bloodweave heathens
- Words:
- 48,492
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 13
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Astarion’s blood stirred once more. What would it feel like to pull a mark but keep the spoils? He could choose to have a bit of fun; it seemed to be a favourite pastime for many.The minute the idea took, he found himself drifting back towards his old haunts.
Bookmarked by caffeinated_nightmares
10 Feb 2025
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Summary
The decision to attend Waterdeep Comic Con during the Midwinter holiday had been intentional. Astarion had assumed that everyone – his overbearing (if well-meaning) friends, his manager, and his psychotic ex – would leave him alone so that he could work in peace. He’d been wrong. On the heels of one of the worst scandals of his acting career, Astarion Ancunin is saved by an unlikely hero: his driver.
⊹¤.•⨳•.*⊹¤.•⨳•.*⊹¤.•⨳•.*⊹¤.•⨳•.*⊹¤.•⨳•.*
The Driver hefted a set of black, leather gloves from atop his legs. His fingers were long and tanned. Astarion couldn’t help but watch as he donned them, giving the tight fabric a flex until the leather stretched over his knuckles. Then he tilted his head to the left, touching an ear to each of his shoulders, before pushing out his chest. His fitted suit strained against the motion, and Astarion heard a few joints pop.
“Do you happen to have your seatbelt on, sir?” the driver asked.
Astarion’s mouth, for some reason, watered.
Bookmarked by caffeinated_nightmares
18 Jan 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Listen, if you aren't reading this, are you really living your life?
Driver. Gale.