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Summary
The past month with Alastor had been some of the best in Lucifer’s obnoxiously long existence.
Lucifer decided to help Alastor out during his rut, and, since then, the two seemed to spend more time together than they ever had before. Absolutely nothing could ruin their budding relationship.
Lucifer just isn’t sure why he’s felt so sick recently.
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Summary
Unbuckling himself in a fever and scrambling out of the car; it wasn’t his business, but he makes it his when he yells over the grating wheels on metal tracks. “Hey!”
She stopped, turning to look at him like she hadn’t expected to be saved. They both stand there, as still as statues. The train passes.
or; Charlie Morningstar, freshly seventeen, gets kicked out of her mother’s house after an argument turned vitriolic. She just wants to go home, but she doesn’t know where that is, anymore.
or; Alastor Hartfelt finds himself with another kid. It’s becoming a problem at this point, he really needs to stop taking teenagers in like strays. He’ll run out of space.
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Summary
Charlie had planted herself in front of Vox and was rambling off an impressive myriad of excuses, from busted pipes to bad Wi-Fi, while he stared at her, hands on his hips, with the utmost expression of forced patience. His black, digital brows were set in a line as straight as the glower at the bottom of his screen. He does a single, slow blink, finger tapping against his hip as he debates on how much money he can reasonably make on a Charlie Morningstar-inspired white-noise machine (and whether the guaranteed customer complaints will be worth the cheap buck) when a movement over her shoulder draws his eyes.
He leans to the side, eyebrow quirking. "What's that?" Then promptly chokes on a surprised noise and shoves Charlie aside. "Holy shit, is that a human?"
Lucifer plays a prank on Alastor.
Everyone else has to deal with the consequences.
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Summary
Having made no deals to secure his power, Alastor has spent his afterlife in Hell a fairly average Sinner with one particular unique ability: a voice that makes him all but irresistible to most demons. For decades, he’s used his silver tongue and natural charisma to help Rosie negotiate her contracts. Being bound to her service isn’t ideal, but at least it keeps him comfortable.
Of course, his talent is no match for someone like Vox. But their first meeting makes an impression nevertheless. Vox finds himself fixated on Alastor and compelled to possess him. So he does what any businessman would and makes a deal to buy Alastor’s soul.
A deal with Rosie, that is. After all, Alastor’s soul is no longer his own property.
Blindsided and bitter over the forced upheaval of his afterlife, Alastor plans to rebel in every way possible.
His brattiness does nothing to deter Vox, who’s determined to find the obedient pet hidden underneath.
What neither expects is to end up in completely unfamiliar territory and be forced to navigate it together. -
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Summary
In one glorious half-hour, Alastor has broken or completed three contracts, freed himself from two separate forms of bondage, and enjoyed a rousing jaunt through nearly half the Pentagram. Incidentally, he may also have shattered Vox’s psyche and his heart. But you know what they say about making omelettes; that was a price he was prepared to pay.
He is less prepared to be personally tasked with unscrambling the eggs.
(A post-canon fix-it following the S2 finale and the events of They Could Have Been Worse.)
Series
- Part 9 of They Could Have Been Worse

