beelarue



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    While trying to write to his friend studying abroad in Moscow, Shane Hollander accidentally reaches Ilya Rozanov.

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    05 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “I mean, you— you say I’m perfect. That it’s, that everything we do together is… is perfect.”

    Yes, perfect,” Ilya says adamantly.

    “Okay. But. I mean. I like feedback, you know. If there are things you haven’t said because you don’t want to hurt my feelings, you could say. If there’s any judgement of my technique, like, that you’ve been doing silently in your head.”

    “I never judge you silently,” Ilya says. He pulls back a bit, twisting his neck so he can look Shane in the eye, frowning. “I judge you loudly. Is no fun if I don’t see your reaction.”

    “Ha, ha.”

    “Shane,” Ilya says. “Is this real worry you are having? I must know. You think I have… criticism of you, of sex with you? You think it is not perfect for me?”

    ---

    Shane and Ilya navigate their sexual relationship, now that they're finally a couple.

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    29 May 2026

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    Rozanov looks away, breathing hard. “Does not matter,” he says. “Forget it. I should go.”

    And no. Shane doesn’t want Rozanov to go. He wants to fix whatever is wrong. He grabs Rozanov’s face and turns his head so their eyes meet.

    “Fuck, baby,” Shane breathes. “You know how good you are.”

    For a moment, he’s taken aback by Rozanov’s expression, until he realises what he just said.

    ---

    Or, five times Shane calls Ilya baby unprompted, and one time Ilya asks him to.

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    27 May 2026

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    “I do not want to make you uncomfortable. With how I talk about us. To others. Like . . . reporters. Or how I treat you in front of others, like the guys on the team.”

    Something like understanding settled on Shane’s face now, and it immediately made Ilya’s heart stop racing. “You think I don’t like PDA.”

    “First time I held your hand in public I thought you were going to have a panic attack,” Ilya admitted.

    --

    Or: Shane's first season on the Ottawa Centaurs, as told through five times Ilya initiated PDA (and one time Shane did).

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    22 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya knew, right from the very moment he met Shane Hollander, that he would never be good enough for him. He’d seemed so…pristine, when they first met. Untouched. And Ilya knew his unclean hands would only dirty him up. He’s always been selfish, though; his father used to tell him that.

    So it’s no surprise, really, that Shane has finally gotten tired of it. Of him, always needing more from Shane than he deserves - always begging for more than he has earned.

    Ilya would leave himself, too, if he could.

    (Or, five time Ilya thought Shane would leave, and one time he knew he wasn’t going anywhere.)

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    14 May 2026