beacedocrimes



Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Emmy: When did you first hook up with him?
    Jane: 2010
    Caro: WHAT
    Megan: GIRL
    Tia: SEVEN YEARS??
    Megan: My jaw is borderline unhinged rn

    Or: In 2017, Shane finds a place where he can talk about his sex life...a group chat for girls who have slept with Ilya Rozanov

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,618
    Chapters:
    8/12
    Comments:
    7,419
    Kudos:
    31,024
    Bookmarks:
    6,306
    Hits:
    436,346

    08 Apr 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    June 2018. Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are about to execute the first step of their ten-year plan, with Ilya signing with the Ottawa Centaurs when free agency begins on July 1.

    Except Shane accidentally, drunkenly, outs himself to the Montreal Metros at the end of the season. Who are not as okay with it as Shane would have hoped.

    AKA the most eventful Canada Day that the MLH has ever seen.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,827
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    1,315
    Kudos:
    14,119
    Bookmarks:
    4,311
    Hits:
    147,263

    05 Apr 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing.

    No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting.

    The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting).

    Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

    Now available in Russian

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,196
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,621
    Kudos:
    53,936
    Bookmarks:
    11,046
    Hits:
    366,488

    28 Mar 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Need a bet to get laid, Rozanov? You’re really that desperate these days?”

    “Nostalgic, maybe.”

    “Wow. Big word.”

    “Shut up, Hollander.”

    Shane shuts up.

    “When I win,” Rozanov continues. “I get you for…twenty-four hours.”

    or

    Shane and Ilya are in rival frats in their senior year and it's time for the annual Greek Olympiad. A bet is made.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    150,586
    Chapters:
    12/13
    Comments:
    2,521
    Kudos:
    10,504
    Bookmarks:
    4,515
    Hits:
    445,211

    20 Mar 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Barstool Sports Canada reports that Montreal Metros captain Shane Hollander has started learning Russian from new teammate and Russian rookie Sergei Dovonchezky.

    Ilya has some thoughts. None of them are particularly kind.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,008
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3,571
    Kudos:
    56,952
    Bookmarks:
    17,151
    Hits:
    957,647

    30 Jan 2026