averageoatmeal23



Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    555-123-181
    If someone got bleach in their eye what should they do
    555-926-024
    Go the the ER and get an eye wash
    555-123-181
    Okay but is that really necessary or can I just wash it myself
    555-926-024
    According the the Internet you might need eye drops for a couple days after so ER it is
    555-123-181
    Urgh fiiine
    ***
    Ilya was looking for advice when he text the wrong number
    Shane couldnt leave a random stranger on read during an emergency

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,502
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    929
    Kudos:
    9,125
    Bookmarks:
    1,530
    Hits:
    107,942

    12 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Alternate Title: Shane Hollander: Stanley Cup Winner, Accidental Dog Sitter

    Shane: Is this Ilya Rozanov?
    Unknown number: no
    Shane: Oh, but the dog collar had this number.
    Unknown Number: What? What dog collar? What are you talking about?
    Shane: I'm Shane Hollander.
    Shane: I have your dog.
    Unknown Number: Is this ransom threat?
    Unknown Number: Did you kidnap my dog?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,626
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    712
    Kudos:
    20,344
    Bookmarks:
    3,137
    Hits:
    96,770

    02 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    To the two users who flirt with hockey statistics in the comments of every post, please get married and leave the rest of us alone.

    (Or: Five times Shane and Ilya ran into each other's burner accounts online.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,621
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    470
    Kudos:
    7,885
    Bookmarks:
    1,096
    Hits:
    32,725

    29 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 2285

    Mystery Work

    Part of Private Privy Priv
    Summary

    This is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon!

    17 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The problem is, no one knows how to market Ilya Rozanov's (in his own words) sexy Euro masculinity to an audience of white straight men.

    He needs the best. And if it happens to be his secret lover’s mother who despises his very existence, so be it.


    +16319607169

    See? That is what I need. Do not care that you are not professional. You are best
    This is Ilya Rozanov

    Yuna

    This is a fucking joke, right?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,908
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    25
    Comments:
    2,729
    Kudos:
    22,795
    Bookmarks:
    4,826
    Hits:
    112,314

    16 May 2026