ataripearl
Recent bookmarks
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tipping point by ultravioletdaydream
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
27 Dec 2025
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Summary
Shane said he would be home by midnight. Ilya only had to hold on for a couple more hours. He thought, fleetingly, that he wasn't sure how the day had spiraled so enormously out of his control. One goddamn day alone and he was at the edge of the abyss. Everything hurt.
Or:
Ilya navigates the expanse of his mental illness over the course of one bad day.
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you don’t have to be sorry for doing it on your own by playexodus
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
26 Dec 2025
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Summary
Ilya had realized it the moment he’d opened his eyes a few days prior, too warm under the covers to be comfortable. Nothing had even happened yet, but he'd felt immediately distant from himself. Like somewhere between sleeping and waking, he’d stepped out of his body and into another.
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you know this moment, don’t you? (time is strangely calm now) by barnes_romzanov
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
25 Dec 2025
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Summary
It’s dark, and Ilya’s not quite sure where he is.
His entire body is numb. His shoes are soaking wet from trudging lazily through the snow. His nose is running, and his lips are chapped.
Selfishly, he wishes Shane would fuss over him now. Pull him close, whisper “I forgive you” even though he shouldn’t, because Ilya would never change, because something inside him- in his family line, in his soul- was broken.
Ilya wondered how long ago it had clicked- when Shane had realized that Ilya wormed his way into this country and tricked the Hollanders into caring for him, then returned the favor by botching their language and leaving a trail of mess in his wake. He still can't help but wonder if that will be part of his punishment- being doomed to miss him in death, too.
or: Ilya’s mostly been able to cope with the fact that he’ll never be able to articulate himself fully in this country- but he’s also never been good at talking about feelings in the first place.
"I'm tired" is the best he's got. It definitely doesn't capture what's going on in his head, and Shane can't read minds.
Series
- Part 1 of Merry Christmas, Please Don't Call
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the toughest part is that we both know (what happened to you, why you’re out on your own) by barnes_romzanov
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
18 Jun 2026
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Summary
Ilya wasn’t trying to kill himself that night. Suicide is something that belongs to his mother- he’s just lazy, and he wishes Shane would stop making excuses for him.
Shane has everything under control. His body is a tool, the one that’s given him both his career and his relationship, and he wishes Ilya would stop prying into the way he maintains it.
or: Ilya learns a whole lot more about his mother, Shane remembers a whole lot more about his childhood, and they both get diagnosed.
Series
- Part 3 of Merry Christmas, Please Don't Call
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Summary
“Lily,” Hayden says automatically. “You know about Lily?”
Something flickers across Rozanov’s face. His jaw twitches. “Yes, I know about Lily.” He raises his eyebrows.
Hayden feels like a complete asshole, all of a sudden. There’s just been too much going on to even think about Shane’s mystery girlfriend. “Shit, I should probably, like, call her, or something? I don’t know this girl at all, but Shane’s been obsessed with her for years. If she was watching the game, she would have seen him get hurt.”
“You don’t need to call her,” Rozanov says, and when Hayden glances at him, he still looks fucking miserable but now he’s rolling his eyes, a much more familiar expression of disdain on his face. “She’s sitting right here.”
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Hayden Pike and Ilya Rozanov are waiting for Shane to wake up after he took a bad hit on the ice. They get to talking.Chapter 2: Ilya and Shane talk about what it means, now that someone knows their secret.
Chapter 3: Shane and Hayden hash out the big reveal.
Chapter 4: Ilya tells Svetlana the big secret.