allwithyou
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Summary
The question had stuck with her all through the following week as she heaved in the fishing nets and washed off the rough skin of the elephants, the tight feeling in her throat unmistakable.
What are you running from?
The answer haunted her as she kissed the random from the tiki bar, another tourist from Australia, callused fingertips creating fire along her hip bone, right where she had a tattoo of the chicken that was the official mascot of Poguelandia. She pushed him off of her, and ran her tongue along her teeth.
It had been six years.
It couldn’t still be that after six years.
Or: After six years, a certain wedding of one John B. Routledge and Sarah Cameron brings Kiara back to Outer Banks. Six years of running should be enough time for Kiara to get over JJ. Right?
Bookmarked by ijustdonthinkheddothat (allwithyou)
05 May 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
wow. the way i immensely enjoyed reading this! perfect pacing, the best Pope i've come across, spot on Sarah and the background jarah wedding/planning ugh it's so great. i actually kind of miss it now that they're married haha. hardly any treasure mentions. love how jj/luke is handled. a very realistic kiara pov, especially with them dating so young and coming back to each other later. sexy times on a boat! lived in, immersive and one of my absolute faves 😊
Emotions, please set me free
Your worry my days, oh, you torture my nights
Never a dream, no, those dreams never turn out right
Emotions, aww, give me a break
Oh, let me forget that I made a mistake
Oh, can't you see what you're doing to me?
Emotions, (ah, ah, ah) please set me free
(Ooh, ooh, ooh)lowkey my first ever comfort fic 🥹
One of these days
I won't be afraid of staying with you
I hope and I pray
Waiting to find a way back to you
Cause that's where I'm homeWhat would you do if I could have you?
Oh if I could
I'd let you feel everything I'm thinking
Wouldn't that be nice? -
Tags
Summary
Mike finds himself relearning the person El has become.
Perhaps the thing that is both the most intimidating and most thrilling of all is that he has to relearn how to be intimate with her.
Series
- Part 4 of We're Not in Indiana Anymore
Bookmarked by yellowbennysburgerstshirt (allwithyou)
22 May 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
“I meant what I said earlier,” she tells him. “About how we’re meant to be together.”
He stares back at her, taking in the serious look in her eyes.
“I know it feels like… things didn’t happen the way they were supposed to.” She doesn’t explain, doesn’t need to. “But, Mike…”
She reaches up, cups his face with her hand.
“You don’t have to believe me,” she says. Her voice is a whisper. “But I always knew that we would find our way back to each other.”
He presses his lips to hers softly, then presses a kiss to her forehead. He closes his eyes.
“I believe you.”
As they drift off toward sleep, Mike thinks about being sixteen, in the days leading up to that last battle. He had let himself dream about this— usually as he lay awake in bed at night— about holding her and not having a care in the world. He’d felt a longing inside of him, so sharp it was like a physical wound, that yearned for her safety, for her freedom.
He had wanted, more than anything, to give her the type of life she deserved.
He looks down at El, nestled safely in his arms, sleep just starting to overtake her. He smiles, and thinks: Now’s your chance, Wheeler."“I love you,” he says. “So much.”
He often thinks that the words aren’t enough, not really. They can’t seem to embody the depth of what he feels for her. Still, he says them frequently, telling her whenever the thought crosses his mind. He hopes that he does enough to show her, too.
“I love you too, Mike,” she answers softly. The words warm him even more than the steam of the shower.
It happens quickly, before she can hide it from him. He watches as her eyes grow glassy, a pinch forming between her eyebrows as her mouth twists. She turns her head when the first tears fall. His arms tighten around her.
“What is it?” he says softly into her hair. He wonders if she’s still thinking about the incident at the grocery store, how it had rattled her.
“I just feel,” she says, “so much. Sometimes I— I think about how you thought I was dead for years and it- it hurts, Mike, to know that I put you through that.”
“No,” Mike says, his voice gentle but steady. “You don’t need to do that, El. You did what you had to do. To keep me safe. To keep yourself safe.”
She’s quiet for a while. She curls into him, crying softly into his chest as the water flows over them.
After several minutes have passed she looks up at him.
“You do so much for me, Mike. And I know what you’ve said but- but I just feel so guilty, when I think about everything you left behind. All so you could come to a foreign country and- and deal with me and how messed up I am.”
Mike stares at her, momentarily at a loss for words.
“El…” he says softly, staring down at her as he feels his own tears gathering in his eyes. “It isn’t like that. Not at all.”
Her brow furrows as she looks up and into his eyes, waiting for him to continue.
“Getting to be with you… getting to love you and care for you and do what you call ‘so much for you’ is the absolute best thing about my life. I will never be able to put it into words, to make you understand. You have no idea how lucky I feel. And I don’t measure out the good and bad things that have happened to us, because love doesn’t work like that. I just love you, no matter what’s happened to us in the past.”
He cups her face between his palms, willing her to comprehend his words. He needs her to know— to know how precious she is to him, to understand that he could never resent her for the pain they’ve been through. “I love you, do you understand?”
She nods as his thumbs stroke her cheeks. Tears fall down both of their faces as he pulls her in again, hugging her tightly. They stand like that for a while, not needing words,”"There’s a special kind of thrill for her to look at him like this, to see just how much she affects him. His eyes are dark and shining at her, his pupils wide. His soft lips are parted, his breathing coming out in quick pants. His hair is mussed from her fingers.
“You’re so…” she begins, searching for the right word. There are little smudges of her pink lipstick at the corner of his mouth and on his neck. He looks like he belongs to her, like he would do anything she asked.
“Sexy,” she finishes, her voice soft as she leans in to kiss him some more.
Mike pulls back to let out a breathless laugh. He shakes his head, just a little, and starts to say something, but El cuts him off with a groan.
“Ugh, don’t,” she says.
“Don’t what?” he asks, taken aback.
“You’re going to say, ‘no, I’m not,’ or say something mean and self-deprecating about the way you look.”
“I- I’m sorry, it’s just. It’s still kind of unbelievable to me that… that you look at me and see that.”
“Well it’s the truth,” she says earnestly. “I’ve never been attracted to someone the way I’m attracted to you.”cherish the day by sade & fly with me by jonas brothers
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Summary
Mike Wheeler wasn't going to spend his life accepting El's choice to sacrifice herself, not when he could do something about it. But like all things in the lives of these two, nothing would ever be simple. She had faked her death to free him, he had joined the military to free her. But when Mike almost dies in the pursuit to bring her a better life, he finds himself being brought to Iceland by a certain young woman's demand.
Bookmarked by yellowbennysburgerstshirt (allwithyou)
22 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
“He sighed heavily and shook his head. “It’s stupid, but I can’t seem to turn it off.”
“Not stupid.” she said sadly, shifting to mimic his position and looking at the ceiling. “That is what our lives have been like.”
“Losing each other, finding each other, losing each other again.”
“Finding each other again too.” said El, squeezing his hand while she continued to stare above them. “I understand, Mike.”
“I’m scared.” he whispered.
“Of losing each other?” she asked softly, turning her head to look at him.
“Of not having a reason to find each other again.” He turned to look at her, and her heart started to shatter. He was looking at her with the same desperation he had when she told him goodbye in the void. When he begged her not to leave him. “The path I took was the only thing I had left, El. If I hadn’t- If...” he trailed off, taking a deep breath and running his free hand through his hair. “I would have had nothing to hold onto.”
Her heart shattered completely as his words sunk in, and she finally understood. She hadn’t been able to let go, and neither had he. She could use the void to stay connected to him, but what was he supposed to do? Agreeing to work with Owens, to destroy and expose what the government was doing, it was the only thing that he could do to feel close to her. Once this plan was finished- if they succeeded, if she left him again he would be left with nothing to tie them together. And so far, all she had ever done was leave.
“Mike.” she choked out, unable to hold back the tears as they spilled down her cheeks. She released his hand and shifted closer to him, placing both of her hands on either side of his face. “We will always be connected. We would have found our way back to each other, even without all of this.”
“How do you know that?” he whispered, his own tears welling up in his eyes. “How can you be sure?”
“Because I love you.” she whispered back, using her thumbs to wipe away the tears. She loved him so much she didn’t know what to do with it. Living without him had felt like she hadn’t been living at all. Hearing him laugh lit the entire world up in a kaleidoscope of color. Seeing him cry made her want to take all his anguish away from him and carry it as her own.
She heard his breath catch at her words, and he brought both of his hands up wipe away the tears on her face too.
“I love you.” he echoed, his hands starting to tremble against her face. “I love you so much that I can’t breathe sometimes.”
“I love you so much that I want to breathe for you.” she replied, making him let out a soft laugh as they still caressed each other’s faces.
“I want to save you, El. I- I feel like I'm the only one who can.” said Mike, his thumbs caressing her cheeks.
“You already have, Mike.” she whispered, moving her hands up to his hair and threading her fingers through it.
“No, I mean really save you.” he reiterated. “Not temporarily. Not just until the next time they decide to come looking. I think...I think this is what I'm supposed to do.”
“Supposed to?” she asked, furrowing her eyebrows.
“It might sound stupid.” said Mike, his eyes shifting away from her in embarrassment. She moved a hand under his jaw to nudge him to look at her again. “I just have this feeling. Like- like this is what I'm meant for.”
“Mike-”
“I know. I know. It’s ridiculous.” he said, shaking his head. “But don’t you think it’s strange that we’ve been tethered since we met? That we can sense each other?”
“We love each other.”
“But what if it’s more than that?”
“Why can’t it be enough?” she asked, leaning forward to press her forehead against his. She hated the fact that he was still so ready and willing to walk into the fire again. She hated the fact that it was never safe for them to just exist together. The Upside Down, the military, the Russians, the Mindflayer, Vecna, something in the universe was determined to make sure they couldn’t just live in peace.
“You’re more than enough.” said Mike, closing his eyes and moving his hands down to the sides of her neck. “You’re everything. I just have to finish what I started. Then- then we can decide what to do next. Together.”
“I can’t lose you again.” she sobbed. A sinking feeling had started to form at the bottom of her stomach. Mike was here, right in front of her. They were together. And in just a few days time, they were going to walk right back into the lion's den.
“You won’t lose me.” he whispered, pulling her into his arms.
“You promise?”
“Promise.”
And if he wasn't able to come back, she'd be the only one who could save him too."😩😭🥹
What you won't do, do for love
You've tried everything, but you don't give up
In my world, only you
Make me do for love what I would not doMy friends wonder what is wrong with me
Well, I'm in a daze from your love, you see
I came back to let you know
Got a thing for you and I can't let go -
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Summary
“It’s like something’s been on your mind for a while and you’re not—you’re just keeping it to yourself.”
Her throat works. “Am I not allowed to do that?”
She doesn’t mean to sound defensive, but the words come out like that anyway. Mike blinks, a little surprised and she can’t blame him for it, but the gentleness of his voice doesn’t fade. “Of course you are,” he says with a nod. Never one to deny her anything.
It sends an aching pang through her chest. He’s always on her side, puts her above everyone else—including himself. He has shown it to her time and time again, proved to her repeatedly that nothing is more important to him than she is. And that—that worries her.
Bookmarked by yellowbennysburgerstshirt (allwithyou)
19 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
“I don’t know how many times I can say it before you understand,” Mike finally says, his voice low under the rain but loud enough for her to hear. “I didn’t find you in the woods—we found each other, okay? I used to think that night wasn’t fate or destiny, but I was wrong. We were meant to be in each other’s lives—I fucking believe that, alright?” His hands rest on her shoulders and despite the rain soaking them both, his touch is still warm. Mike lowers his head to be at her eye level, locking their slightly squinted gazes through the rain. “I need you to understand, El, that knowing everything that I know now, knowing everything we’ve all been through, I would still choose to go through it again if it means getting to be with you. My life was—it was nothing before you, but you made it worth it.”
El tastes salt and fresh water, both, on her lips as the rain and her tears mix together. “Mike—”
“You can’t leave me, El.” Desperation deepens his voice. “Please don’t do this.” He drops his forehead to hers as a sob escapes El, and she wonders if he can feel her resolve slipping. “If you need to go, then take me with you. Please—please—” His voice breaks, and so does a piece of her heart. “I can’t do this without you. Just stay. I know it seems like you’ve been waiting forever, and you have, but I promise you, it’s going to be over soon. And you know I never—I never break my promises. Not to you.”
El squeezes her eyes shut as his words sink in, a soothing balm to the stinging pain that has kept her company recently. Her backpack and clothes feel heavy on her body, but nothing is more of a weight than her pounding heart as Mike’s hands slide from her shoulders up her neck to cup her jaw.
“Please, please, please,” he repeats, his breath warm against her lips. “This is what you’ve been fighting for all this time. You deserve a normal life with your friends and Hopper and me. You deserve to be happy, El. I know it feels like you’ve been waiting your entire life, but trust me; the waiting will end soon.” He kisses her nose. “Okay?” Another kiss, this time to her closed right eye. “Please.” Her left eye next. Everywhere his lips touch, her skin ignites, buzzing for more. “I love you so much.” His voice is a whisper, lips brushing against hers with his next few words. “Stay for the life you deserve. Stay, baby, please.”"Mike’s features clear into view through the dark, finding his brown eyes watching her intently. His hand finds hers, linking their fingers together and bringing them up until he’s got them tucked under his chin. She is so warm, so safe, it makes her heart ache in the best way.
“El.” Her name is a quiet whisper spoken in the mere inches of space separating them. “I need you to promise me something.”
She’s quick to nod. “Anything.”
Mike is silent for a beat before he says, “Promise me you’ll stop leaving me.”
The words pull a small gasp from her, heart stuttering. In an instant, all she can think of is how many times she has done this to Mike that prompted him to request this of her. The first time at the school when she disappeared for a year, moving to California, another goodbye months ago in case her plan—in the same kind of word her friends would use—went to shit.
Time and time again, El has left Mike. Time and time again, she always finds her way back to him. No matter what, the universe always brings them back together. All of the pain and heartbreak always rewards them in the end, bringing them to each other once more."“It’s killing him; this conversation, the look on her face. “You’re—” A rough exhale, shrugging. “You’re always leaving me, El.”
“And that has never been easy for me,” El says vehemently, her expression of disbelief intensifying like she can’t believe what he’s saying. She steps even closer, Mike unmoving. “That night at the middle school, the NINA project, after we killed Vecna—every time I went away, I did it for you—”
Mike inhales sharply, heart thudding in his ears. “I never asked you to—”
“You don’t have to!” El never raises her voice. His girlfriend has always been soft spoken, gentle, never raising her voice—only when she’s in pain, only when she’s using her powers to fight some monster or another. Her life has been violent enough, and it has always awed him that she has remained gentle through it all. But now, he sees the fire in her eyes, hears it in her voice, effectively silencing him. “You never have to ask me to put you above everything and everyone, Mike. I will do it, no matter what. Killing that Demogorgon, getting my powers back, defeating Henry—of course, I wanted to save everyone. But you—” El shakes her head, exhaling sharply. “It has always been about you, Mike. Making sure you are safe and alive—that is what matters to me the most.”🥹😩🥲
I'll never leave you, sugar
I'll never leave your side
Our love is here forever
I can see it in your eyes& honeybee by olivia
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Tags
Summary
Even gone, El remains Mike's only confidant. For six years, he writes to her in scattered journal entries—until something threatens his sanity one last time on Day 2191.
Bookmarked by yellowbennysburgerstshirt (allwithyou)
09 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Day 78.
I’m with Dustin, Max, and Will in the cafeteria.
Lucas comes in, takes three apples out of his backpack. Dustin grabs one, all thankful. But Lucas snatches it back and proceeds to do some kind of... juggling?
Max is already over it: “He got it one time in, like, ninety-eight attempts, and now thinks he’s mastered the art.”
The third apple hasn’t even left Lucas’ hand, yet somehow meets the other two on the ground.
We burst into laughter.
All their eyes land on me, staring in disbelief.
And it hits me. My first time laughing since you were still with me.
I stop breathing.
I rush out.
Breathe too much.
Day 81.
Fuck everyone, honestly. With their pitying gazes, as if I should be better by now. For what? Just pick another shepherd and stop fucking putting me on a pedestal. Why am I the one who has to hold the Party together? Just enjoy it without me, or let me be a simple sheep in it. For once.
Sorry, El. Ignore all this. I’d give anything to be in your arms right now.
Day 94.
We’re back to that night.
You stand on the bridge. So close, yet so far from me.
The military pulls at my limbs as I try to break free.
I scream your name once more. Maybe this time you’ll change your mind.
Your eyes find mine. You look at me like I’m killing you.
You step forward. Yes, yes!
You leap.
Hurry towards me.
Hug me.
I weep. Hold you tight—
I jolt awake in Holly’s arms.
She must’ve crawled in seeking her big brother’s comfort. We suck at talking feelings, but I think she still sees Henry when she closes her eyelids.
She moves a sweaty lock of hair from my face and goes, “Shh. Shh,” like she’s hushing me to sleep.
Oh god, is she the one comforting me?Day 599.
You didn’t tell me...
If you had a plan to escape. You knew I wanted to do just that with you.
But you didn’t tell me.
Day 600.
I’m sorry. I’m not mad. I swear. I just mean... if you wanted me to find you, you would’ve told me how by now. Right, El?
It’s okay.
Just know that I’m still here.
Day 602.
Unless you lost your powers. Or someone caught you, and you’re locked up somewhere.
I found you in a top-secret lab in the middle of the desert once. I can do it again.
This is a fucking nightmare. How am I supposed to know what you need? If I hurt you by making the wrong choice again, I won’t survive it.
I swear to God, I won’t survive.Day 1096.
Three years.
I’m skipping classes to be in Hawkins. In front of the library. I know; shocking.
I can’t stop thinking that I’d recognize your voice in a heartbeat if I were to hear it. But that I can’t remember it on my own.
What does it mean? Is it gonna get worse? Are you gonna keep fading away? Because I’m not ready for that, like, at all.
You’re always on my mind, so why can’t I remember every little thing about you?
What’s left of me when there’s nothing left of you to hold onto?Day 1702.
Hi.
After three sleepless weeks coming off the benzos, I finally slept through the night.
Is it crazy to say that I’ve missed the actual hurt of missing you?
Day 1777.
I’m staying at my parents' till I get back on my feet.
I spend most days writing in the basement. Feels like the right source of inspiration, you know?
I wish the little fort were still there. With you in it, wearing my sweater and sweatpants, wrapped up in my blanket.
Gosh, I hope you knew how much I loved you. How much I still do. How much I always will.
Day 1827.
Five years... damn.Day 1835.
Our traumatic childhood has real bestseller potential. I could just change some details to avoid getting killed by whoever covered all that shit up, and be set for life money-wise. I really don’t want to, though.
This was our story. Not the world’s to read.
Still, I keep sparkling your personality across my best characters. If my writing one day lands somewhere, I hope it reaches you, and that you recognize every sparkle of you.😭😩😔
never tear us apart by inxs
when you’re gone by the cranberries