alakazardoo
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Clearly there was something Remus was missing; some major puzzle piece that would seamlessly answer all of Remus' questions regarding sexuality. Maybe, if he learned enough about it, he could properly gauge whether or not his thoughts were… of that variety. (Calling it gay outright seemed too blunt at this stage.) Maybe, he could learn to understand Sirius better, and in turn, be a better friend to him. Could he even claim to know himself without ever having explored this foreign aspect of life and love?
___________February, 1985.
Remus Lupin finally acknowledged that he has some questions concerning sexuality.
[And through his lengthy series of questions and tribulations, he ended up with more answers than originally intended.]Title from The Velvet Underground's Self-title&Nico.
SMALL HIATUS SO SORRY!
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Parisians often turned to face him in the streets, silently begging for a glance spared their way by offering cigarettes in place of communion wafers and wine. They thought that appeasing Sirius would bring them considerable fortune, if not in capital, then in their self discovery. Surely, seeing oneself through Sirius’ eyes would be a blessing. He was a prophet and rock n’ roll’s saving grace. He put critics to shame and elevated legends like Hendrix, Plant, and Morrison. He spat in the faces of nosy journalists and teased the media with black and white photographs of a rosary suspended over his abdomen. Long gone were the days of petty fights and desperation; his attention-garnering behavior had led him into a seemingly uncomfortable level of stardom.
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TLDR: In his school years, Sirius insists that his and Remus' friendship requires physical altercations to stay true. Remus convinces him otherwise and unintentionally becomes the catalyst of Sirius' career as a musician.(lotsa petty fighting, drinking, and music. WIP.)
EDIT: INDEFINITE HIATUS. SORRY:-(.
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“Am I dirty?” he asked before he could think better of it.
Suguru looked him up and down with a curious expression, squinting, searching for something that could explain whatever the hell was going on. “Huh? No… you look fine to me.”
That’s not what I meant. Am I filthy, or am I pure?
“Are—are you sure?” It came out weak, brittle. He lightly unclasped the hand from Suguru’s jacket which he was still holding, leaving it just hovering over the fabric. He was scared he’d burn Suguru again, but he was more scared about being unclean. “What about my hands?”
Without reservation, Suguru gently took Satoru’s hand from the jacket and then lifted the other, still pressed to Satoru’s chest, into his own small palms. He turned his hands till his palms faced God, and Lord, did they burn, but before he could pull back, Suguru held them firmly, thumbs brushing over the lines and grooves of his palms, steady, careful, unflinching.
“All clean, ‘Toru. I promise. See?”
Satoru did not believe him.
Or, Satoru wrestles with God, the Bible, and the slow, undeniable realization that he is in love with his best friend, Suguru.
Bookmarked by alakazardoo
29 Apr 2026
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“They’re… chaos,” Remus said firmly. “And chaos is—”
“Rock and roll.”
He looked at Sirius sharply, and for once, matched his grin. “Yeah.”
“Maybe that’s my excuse then,” Sirius said. “I cause a bit of chaos now, and maybe one day, it’ll turn into rock and roll.”After losing his mother at age eleven, Remus has spent the better part of the last four years bouncing from school to school or else running around London and pretending as though he wasn't the kind of well-bred boy his father brought him up to be. Now, with his chances all run out, Remus is sent to Hawkings Independent School as a last-ditch effort to clean up his act. There he meets the very people who will set up the rest of his life, and is forced to confront the pieces of himself he'd long thought had been lost.
(genuinely not apologising for the slow-burn in this fic anymore. You've been warned <3)
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- Part 1 of The Cadence Opus
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Bookmarked by alakazardoo
16 Jun 2025