adhdenkis



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  1. Rec *

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    Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper called it an international emergency in his address to the Canadian public. Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin claimed Russia was devoting every resource to it. The endless loops of crawling chyrons titled it Hockey Held Hostage. Eventually, Wikipedia settled on ‘The Sochi Affair’:

    The Sochi Affair (Russian: Сочинское дело; French: affaire Sotchi) was a multinational hostage and extortion crisis that began on Thursday, February 20, 2014, when Olympic ice hockey players, Shane Hollander of Canada and Ilya Rozanov of Russia, were abducted from the Iceberg Skating Palace during the Sochi Winter Olympics and held hostage in southwestern Kazakhstan for 3 months, 19 days.

    The world was captivated when Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander went missing, but no one will ever know what they found in the face of survival.

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    15 Jun 2026

  2. Rec *

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    04 Jun 2026

  3. Rec *

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    Cardiac tamponade: pressure on that heart that prevents it from filling and beating adequately.

    Shane thought he knew two things: his move to Ottawa would cause chaos, and that the Ottawa Centaurs were nice.

    As it turned out, he only knew one of those things.

    (Or: the Cens are still a team of professional hockey players. They're going to fuck up.)

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    14 May 2026

  4. Rec *

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    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing.

    No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting.

    The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting).

    Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

    Now available in Russian

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    20 Feb 2026

  5. Rec *

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    [Tweet] @roz81: My son has turned into iPad baby. How do I stop this? Somebody give me phone number of Apple. Tell them to destroy iPads

    [Tweet] @HerezPilton: Breaking News! confirmation of multiple illegitimate children from Ilya Rozanov. Go to the link in bio for full article!

    or, Ilya is an online menace much to everyone's dismay

    Series
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    24,679
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    2,390
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    165,227

    09 Feb 2026