ZaleaBloom



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    Shane was fourteen the first time a number felt like safety.

    The nutritionist worked out of an office in Kanata, framed certificates, a calm voice, laminated charts with columns. She explained it simply: fuel in, output required, timing of each. She said it was a starting point.

    Shane took notes in the margins the way he took notes on everything—completely, past what was required. Yuna had found the nutritionist herself, sat beside him, and took notes too.

    Like mother, like son.

    -

    Or: Shane’s system works until it doesn’t; Ilya notices first.

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    19 Jul 2026

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    “Luch-Shane,” Ilya says, catching himself only at the last moment before he breaks their no pet names in the workplace rule. “Why don’t you get some air, yes? We can-”

    Shane’s anxiety takes a quick backseat to annoyance once more, at being handled like a child instead of a grown man, like he hasn’t been doing this just as long as Ilya, like he needs someone to tell him when to take a break.

    Like he deserved to have everything taken away from him because he couldn’t handle it to start with.

    “I’m fine,” he says, voice icy.

    The step he takes away is too big, farther than he meant to get from Ilya’s side, and the air between them feels both charged and icy.

    He isn’t quite bold enough to try and fix it.

    (shane is married and on the same team as his husband) (and all it cost him was his whole career and the life he spent years building beforehand) (but it's fine, really) (it's all so very, very fucking fine)

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    13 Jul 2026

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    “Marley.” Ilya says evenly, suddenly knowing he can actually breathe. He had a plan and he knew what he needed to do. And he couldn’t do it from the locker room bench. “If he is very injured, if he cannot play again, if he is very bad, I will kill you. I will kill you painfully.”
    Cliff gapes at him.

    In which the hit that Cliff Marleau had on Shane Hollander goes a little different. For one, they’re in Boston. For another, Ilya realizes he might be panicking? Which is probably not something to do in the middle of a game. And, oh yeah, he just outed both himself and his not-boyfriend to an entire locker room of hockey players.

    But that’s okay, because while Boston may be vicious, they do take care of their own. And they quickly realize that their captain’s happiness and willingness to stay with the Bears is tied to Shane Hollander. The solution is easy, they’ll just have to make Shane Hollander a Bear.

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    26 Jun 2026

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    At the Juniors World Championship in 2006, Ilya Rozanov tells Shane Hollander he doesn't like to speak in English.

    “You can speak Russian to me if you want. I’ll speak French to you. We don’t have to speak English at all. Maybe just a little, you know? Just enough to understand one another," Shane suggests. Ilya is confused. He's also never been more interested, so they spend the next decade inventing a new, private love language, just for them.

    A year by year development of Hollanov's evolution in life, language, and love.

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    17 Jun 2026

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    Ilya is plummeting to his death when he closes his eyes, heart full of regret.

    When he opens them in what feels like just a second later, he is standing outside a rink in Regina, Saskatchewan. There’s a banner on the building across the street:

    World Junior Hockey Championship 2009.

    What?

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    15 Jun 2026