Wheatieluv



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    After Shane comes out, the Metros become convinced he might be attracted to them.

    Shane corrects this assumption with devastating precision, accidentally describes Ilya Rozanov in the process, and somehow turns the entire locker room into a deranged pageant of heterosexual insecurity.

    Edit: Additional content added 27/06/2026 in relation to future fic "The Benchmark" 😈

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    27 Jun 2026

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    Shane decides he should let everyone believe he has a hook-up in every city, so it will no longer seem suspicious that he always disappears in Boston.

    While Shane is proud of himself for the ruse and for the ability to explore new places after away games, Ilya handles the new rumor with grace and dignity. Which is to say he suddenly feels the need to text and maybe even call Shane on his roadies to see if he can keep him occupied.

    Based on a Tumblr post listed below.

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    26 Jun 2026

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    “Shane,” Ilya said slowly, putting his phone in his pocket as he walked into their home gym to find Shane running on the treadmill. “Do you mean to tell me that the years of you doing ‘just a little promo’ has actually been you tormenting David Mitchell with your apparently not incredibly boring life? And you never thought to mention it once?”

    “Huh?” Shane called, slowing the treadmill to a walk to glance over his shoulder at where Ilya was stood. “What do you mean?”

    “I mean there are lots of tweets here about you on these shows and you seem to be giving all of them aneurysms?” Ilya said, pulling his phone back out and opening up twitter to show Shane.

    //

    Or; Shane Hollander is far more famous than the Hockey world ever realised

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    21 Jun 2026

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    In which the Raiders try to convince (okay, bribe) Shane Hollander to wife Ilya Rozanov the fuck up.

    The Raiders learn about Hollanov in a different way. Shane is very confused. Ilya loves his team. I regret nothing.

    (This takes place a few months before the great tuna melt fiasco.)

    Some sex talk but mostly a lot of swearing. Also not related to my other fics really but some of the character portrayals, especially the Boston Raiders being all good guys, is in my other work too.

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    14 Jun 2026

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    "I think we should start gaslighting everyone.” Shane looks at Ilya to see his reaction.

    “I don’t understand.”

    “No statements, no plans, of course we’re still doing the charity, but let’s just act like we already came out to everyone.”

    Ilya smirks. “Gaslight them?” Shane nods.

     

    or Shane comes up with the idea of gaslighting everyone into thinking they already came out. Ilya and Shane proceed to go out to lunch, and go on first dates slowly gaslighting their friends and the world.

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    09 Jun 2026

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